Marriage Monday

I recently ran into a friend that I have been missing at a different spot I usually encounter her. She mentioned that the other place wasn't really going well for her and she was going to take a break from it for several weeks. I didn't press, but eventually she confided in me that there was a man that she encountered the other place that was raising a red flag for herself.

She realized that one day she talked to that guy more than she did her own husband -- and much more animatedly and excitedly. She began to look forward to visiting with him, and knew something must be done. So she made a change -- that will also have her missing out on some wholesome friendship fun -- because she knew that relationship was heading a not-great direction.

I was and still am SO proud of my friend for the way she handled that situation. I would love to point out the things she did right to honor her marriage, her husband, and her God in that situation.

1. She recognized her heart. She recognized the intention of seeing this guy -- to get to know him, to feel like he was interested in her. My friend didn't elaborate on how things are in her marriage, and I have no reason to suspect there is any trouble. However, I do know her life looks like mine: husband involved in work and church, she's involved at church, kids in many different activities. None of that leaves a lot of time for gooey staring into each other's eyes and discussing hopes, dreams, and fears. To feel like someone is listening and really hears is attractive, exciting ... and dangerous.

2. She was willing to make radical change to get back on track where her brain should be. She's giving up some fun, she's changing the way she does some things in her day-to-day, and she's convicted of how unwise a relationship like that can be.

3. She was open with another Christian sister (that's me!) about the struggle it was for her. And, I certainly didn't judge-- haven't we all enjoyed a relationship that for at least 3 seconds seemed like it would be way more fun than our marriage was at the moment? Been there -- and proud of her so much! -- and can openly talk to her about it as well as pray with and for her about it.

Friends, no one sets out to have an affair. But you probably know as well as I do that affairs happen way too often... because Satan keeps them looking very attractive and reasonable. And like WE DESERVE to be happy/ feel better/ have someone treat us better. Whatever it is, I would encourage you to follow my friend's example and have all of your relationships to be completely above reproach. Denise says, "If I can't tell my husband who I've been talking to or what the conversation was about, I shouldn't be talking to that person." Amen and amen.

Again, just SO proud of my friend, who's still encouraging me to be a godly wife!

(For more on this topic: I wrote this post on Saturday, and came across this post on Sunday. Maybe God is trying to tell ME to guard my heart! hmmmm!)