What a Week and What's for Dinner

It's been quite a week around here, hence the silence.

It started at the end of last week with the death of a dear man from church. He, his wife, and his 7 year old granddaughter that they are raising sat right behind us in church each week. Long story about what happened, but it was very unexpected. Late 50's, worked at my kids school as a speech therapist, sang on the praise team with Troy, precious man of God. He was one of the very few people that could be counted on to read from the Bible as if the words on the page actually spoke to him (reading it otherwise is a bit of a peeve of mine).

His funeral blessed me beyond measure, calling me to walk more closely with Jesus. It was truly inspirational. Troy was blessed to do the music for the funeral and I was, as usual, proud beyond proud of him. I married a good man.

Amongst the funeraling there has also been other snapshots of God's amazing works: his mercies and grace sprinkled throughout relationships and activities all through our lives. Details may sound boring to you, and not all are available for publication, but let me remind you: God is in the details.

If you aren't a facebook friend, you have missed that I am on a quest to get more of my writing published, which I jokingly refer to as "racking up the rejections". It's just a matter of kissing a few frogs before you find your prince, or getting lots of doors slammed in your face. The quest continues. Right now I do not have "the book" in the works, but columns and/ or articles -- magazine or newspaper.

Also, you may have missed that I posed the question on facebook: what do I do with leftover rotisserie chicken? I got a VERY long answer that I posted here on my recipe blog. I went with chicken spaghetti, thank you, Robin.

So my Friday begins. A full, yet relaxing weekend begins here at my house. Deer season starts this weekend -- so long, Troy -- and one of the kids is having a friend over. Life is what it should be. Yet, my heart is heavy. Thursday was already a little sad for me with cancer continuing to ravage too many too young, and others face hard times, but the Fort Hood mess takes my breath away. A few short miles from where I first started teaching, first lived with Troy as his wife, and became a mom, I am as stunned as you are by the horrific violence at Fort Hood. Praying for the hearts that are breaking and struggling to understand.

Accidentally Victorious

originally published in Abilene Families magazine

Ever knocked a fork off the kitchen counter into its correct spot in the dishwasher? What about dropped your keys into the cuff of your pants or a shirt pocket? You think to yourself, perhaps even say out loud, “I couldn’t do that again if I tried!”

One of my greatest successes as a parent happened basically that way. Nothing I set out to do or felt called to do, I have accidentally created some grand memories in my home by eating around the dinner table every night. When I got married, I could cook spaghetti, taco meat, and baked chicken. Period. I tried to make breakfast for Troy our first Valentine’s Day and melted the spatula. Betty Crocker I was not.

When we had a baby I quit my teaching job. Finances required that I figure out what those knobs on the stove did and start cooking. Yes, I wanted that little blue-eyed precious to be healthy along with the parents, but it was mainly finances that made the decision to fire up the stove every night.

Besides simply cooking at home, we made a decision to then eat that meal sitting together as a family every night. If I was going to go to all the trouble of figuring out what in the world ‘julienne’ meant, then actually doing it, by golly we could sit together to eat it or finger paint with it, depending on the age of the diner.

Over the years as lives and schedules changed, I just never put much more money in the budget for eating out. Since my children started elementary school 8 years ago my grocery budget has almost doubled, but our allotted money for eating out is basically the same. I even left it that way for a few brief years that our budget wasn’t quite so tight when I was employed other places.

As basketball and little league practices began to encroach on our evenings, I have changed how or what I cooked for dinner, or what time we eat. Dinner may be anywhere from 5:30 to 8 p.m., but it includes all family members in town at the time, and it is always around the table with the television off. I have used the crock-pot to my advantage, or dinner may be a sandwich (the family thinks it’s big doin’s if you stick the bread under the broiler to melt the cheese and have ‘fancy sandwiches’), and there have been a few desperate times that dinner is Sonic’s 5 hamburgers for $5.95 (Tuesdays after 5 p.m.) but we gather at the table to share the burdens and victories of the day.

I frequently wonder why I torture myself so. Generally about 30 minutes to an hour of prep time for a meal that either no one likes or they scarf down in 6 minutes, then another 15 to 20 minutes of clean up. Really, why bother?

Recently, one child and I were at odds all day. Nothing I said was right, no response that I got was kind. My request for help to get dinner on the table was met with slams of cabinet doors and sighs and, I’m sure, eye rolls, though I refused to look.

By the time dinner was finally on the table I could hardly take a bite my teeth were clenched so tightly. The kids began talking about the day, laughing. Soon, I was included in a shared memory of something funny we saw that day. The pressure of the day was completely diffused and I became part of the family again instead of the meanest mom on the planet.

Creating memories, reconnecting, becoming family again. That is why I bother.

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What about you? What have you gotten right as a parent? What is one thing your kids won't bring up in the hours of therapy they will be in for all the other things you got wrong... oh, wait, that's only my kids. Share the victories!

Tips for a Challenge

A few of you are taking me up on my challenge, and I am SO glad you are even considering it! It is also NOT too late to join! Jump on in, the water's fine...!



Some things I have read have said that 10,000 is a less-than-scientific ideal. 10,000 is what makes an adult considered to be 'active'. I still contend it is a good goal to aim for -- yet I will confess that I RARELY make it. Remember that the winner of the challenge (one of them) is for total number of steps.



If you would like some tips on how to improve your numbers for the November Challenge, think about these things:

1) First and foremost: your feet. You MUST wear shoes that you can tolerate all day. That's one of the reasons I have a 'rest day' so that my feet can have a 'cute shoe' day! Tell your co-workers about the challenge and that you may be looking a little sportier than usual through November. Wear your tennis shoes EVERYWHERE. Have your co-workers sign up for the challenge while you're at it.

2) Unload your groceries one bag at a time. Seriously. Put the entire bag away, go back for more. Think about laundry, trash, etc. the same way. Steps won't kill you as long as you are in comfortable shoes.

3) People have been saying for years: park at the far end of the parking lot. This alone will not make you in shape, but it will help.

4) You HAVE to have enough sleep, as well. You will feel so much better and be able to get in your steps much easier when you are well rested.

5) Enlist a buddy. Mindy and Keith are in the challenge together (I think Mindy has an advantage as an elementary school teacher). They will do great as they can go for a walk after dinner together and talk about their day while they add up steps.

6) Do not be discouraged no matter what your first few readings may be on your pedometer. It is a measuring device -- like blood pressure or cholesterol (or, yes, the scale). The best part about a pedometer is it takes just a few changes to make it better the next day -- unlike the scale. Another thing I read said to aim for improving your average number of steps by 500/ week. So, if you are hovering around 3,000/day right now -- aim for 3,500 by the end of the week. By the end of the challenge you should be around 5,000. BIG improvement!

7) If you do other forms of exercise that will not register as 'steps' you can use this chart (though I think it measures EXCESSIVELY high) to convert it to steps. This is for 30 minutes of activity.



I think that's all for now. Any questions? Any more takers?

The Overnight Bag

I hate my husband's overnight bag.

When we first moved here, Troy's job required him to travel a few times a month. Hard on a family with little kids, but, at the time, part of the trade-off for getting out of another job in a difficult environment. For our first Christmas here, a sweet family friend gave him a travel overnight bag -- one that has a hanger on it so you can hang it on door frames or hooks, and has several compartments for razor, toothbrush, medicine, contacts, etc.

He loved and still does love that overnight bag. It is very handy and useful. When he first got it he was traveling so much there was not much point in really unpacking it, so he pretty much lived out of it at home or on the road.

So the overnight bag was either chronically hanging on my shower, reminding me that another leaving was just around the corner, or it was gone, reminding me that he was gone with it. When the overnight bag was here, it made me think of my mom encouraging anyone who may be in her home wearing a coat, "Take off your coat and stay a while." I wanted to say, "Unpack your bag and stay a while..."

Eventually I did. Seriously, I built up so much resentment to that one poor bag (it wasn't just the leaving --it was also that it was in the way of the shower door) that I asked to Troy to please just unpack it when he got home and repack it as he was leaving. By this time his travel had slowed considerably and that wasn't as much of an issue.

Then... glory be! Last year, Troy got an entirely different job, requiring very little travel. The overnight bag was tucked away, only to be drug out for fun vacations, or hunting trips. Much better.

Until...(cue suspense music) now entirely different job can't decide which job it really should be, so maybe all 3? The bag has returned. The travel has returned. He has been gone each of the last 3 weeks (for 2-4 days each week, not all week), Today will begin a brief 10 day respite before another 2 weeks of travel. Color me unamused currently.

I am in the pouting phase. I hate that stupid bag.

Now, you know I can't leave it like that. Mainly because I can already hear you clackety-clacking on your keyboard preaching at me, but I KNOW. The best part is, that my friends who really truly know -- my widow friend with kids younger than mine, my air force wife friend -- never preach at me. Because they know. They know that deep in my soul I am grateful simply for a living, breathing husband whose job is on this side of the ocean. But they also know that a family simply works better as a cohesive unit, and sometimes a mom doing it on her own also needs a release valve. Mine is that stupid overnight bag. That is what I choose to be angry at and loathe. And those who truly know what it's like -- simply let me be mad at the overnight bag, no judgment.

Another thing I will eventually be thankful for is that thus far (I am so jinxing myself) we have had neither house nor health calamities through these travels. A trip out of town usually requires either a trip to the ER or a phone call to the plumber for those left behind. So... that is what I leave you with. Next trip, I will change my attitude and we will have a walk down memory lane, I promise. There is some hilarity of all the goin's on that have happened here in Troy's absence -- few of them funny at the time. I will share soon.

So -- anyone have any good single-parent stories to share while we wait?

Just Time for a Laugh

Oh, I have too much to tell you and no time, so I just leave you with this.

It is red ribbon week at my kids' school. DRUGS ARE NOT FUNNY, KIDS!!!!!!!!!

Good Things Out There

Many of you know that one evening a week I spend with 3 wonderful people with A Better View podcast. We have the best time and I generally feel pretty much out of my league all the way around. This post from one of my co-hosts, Amanda, simply confirmed that fact. This is some wonderful cleverness regarding spiritual application of Zombie movies.

I rarely do churchy type things on Good Things Out There, but oh my stars, you need to read this. Then you need to email your preacher, elders, and any other church leader you know and have them read it, too. Have them repeat after me: We will miss you. Love it.

Do not send your church leaders here, but send people you love here, especially those over 50. But go read it first. I literally put my head on my desk and cried -- I was laughing so hard. I know this month is all pink for Breast Cancer Awareness -- but this is about colon cancer which has its own awareness month in March, but I will never remember that, and this is just hysterical and you need to read it anyway. Seriously.

If you would like to add your 'Good Thing' button to your blog, copy the code into an 'HTML' box on your sidebar:

<a border="0" href="http://www.sarahstirman.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i341.photobucket.com/albums/o397/SarahSti/blogbuttongoodthing-Page002.jpg" /></a>

Friday -- Clean Up and Fun Day

Don't forget to look into the November challenge. You know you want to do it. What's stopping you? We'll all have so much more fun doing it together!

Drumroll please...... WINNERS!!!

Here is the official Cleft of the Rock choosing bowl, full of Monday's entries:

At which point, one of my offspring with writing all over her hand even after a shower dug into the bowl and drew this name:

Please trust me that the bowl full of Tuesday's entries looked virtually the same as the bowl full of Monday's entries. A different offspring's hand dove into the bowl and pulled out this name (no writing on the hand, but still dirty fingernails after a shower):

So, congrats to Stephanie and Christy Cate. Thanks to one and all for playing along. More prizes/ give-aways coming up! Start with the November challenge -- Target gift cards...! Woot!

Don't you want to be the voice of this booth?

I get a date tonight! Then volleyball tournament and soccer tomorrow (and the end of both seasons are in sight! Awesome!) and worship with my church family on Sunday.

Who has an awesome weekend ahead? What's going on where you are?