Road Trip

This weekend I had the privilege of traveling to, and speaking at, a reunion honoring a choir instructor from my high school. I feel a little guilty because she could not have possibly had as much fun as I did at that reunion.

Roxanne and I were able to spend most of the day together and that was simply joy. No kids needing us, no husbands quietly sighing their boredom, no other family members needing just one more thing. Lots of talking, figuring, catching up, and reasoning.

Thing is, Roxanne and I talk enough that there wasn’t much catching up to do, so we were able to delve in. Go deeper. One thing we discussed is how glad we were that we grew up in that precious town, and how glad we are that we left it to grow our children up. We also talked about how great it was to go home and all insecurities and high school “caste systems” were done away with: it was just home. I think it took 20 years for it to be that way -- the 10 year reunion wasn’t quite so comfortable.

The travel there was easily the worst part of the whole weekend, especially considering the total travel time was exactly equal to the time that I was awake on Saturday: 17 hours. Obviously, I don’t travel by myself very often any more, so I had ample time to consider the pros and cons of solo travel.

Pros:

1. I am queen of the temperature.

2. I am queen of when to stop.

3. I am queen of when not to stop.

4. I am queen of the radio/ CD/ talk radio/ not-talk/ music/ volume.

5. No back seat drivers.

Cons:

1. It’s boring.

2. No one to blame wrong turns on.

3. So boring.

4. No one to dial/ text/ screen calls.

5. Boring really doesn’t adequately describe it.

6. No one to relieve you as a driver.

7. It is just! SO! BOOOORRRRIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!!!

So, as you can see, being queen certainly has its place, but it cannot outweigh the drawbacks of traveling alone.

Let me clarify -- this was a 500 mile (one way) trip. A shorter trip of about 150 miles would be a breeze and just about enough time to clear my head and get all my good music listened to. Mile 300 is about where I start to slide onto the floorboard and wallow.

The return trip on Sunday was brutal as it POURED rain for the first 250 miles, then drizzled for another 150. During the pouring rain there were cars all over the median and ditches, as well as a few 18-wheelers, that evidently can’t keep it at 75 in the blinding rain like they thought they could.

So, I’m thankful to be back safe. Thankful for the legacy I have and to celebrate it at a reunion.

What about you -- do you do reunions? Been to a homecoming this fall or planning to go to one? Why or why not? Talk to me people!

One Time Blind!

Had a great weekend this weekend speaking for the ladies of the Georgetown church. What a precious group of women. As usual, I'm sure I learned more than anyone there. What a blessing to be able to attend retreats on a regular basis! Besides the blessing of all of that, we saw this intriguing sight on the return trip:

If you can't fully make it out, that would be a toilet, with some sort of plant growing out of it, two beer bottles on the back of the seat, two flamingoes flanking the toilet, and I only got one of the family of wooden cut out skunks leading up to the toilet. If you look through the bushes back by the porch, you can almost make out that the house was painted black and white, like a prison uniform, almost (only on 3 sides -- for maximum curb appeal -- they didn't bother with the back wall. Do not ask how I know). You cannot see this stuff just anywhere.

I am still recovering, and working on an article due today. I returned just in time to go to a make-up soccer game for Riley postponed from last week's monsoonal rains while Ashley and I were in San Angelo for volleyball. So glad to see my boy growing and working so hard out there. He is really doing well and playing hard, and I was thankful I got to see him play since I missed a game yesterday.

While at the retreat, we saw several videos from the drama group, onetimeblind. I was VERY impressed and would love to share one of the things that really struck me:

Traveling Today

Say a prayer or six for all of us this weekend.

Coffee Group is headed to Central Texas, to share God's Amazing Freedom with the ladies of Georgetown. So, pray for our travels, pray for our talks, pray for the ladies there.

Pray for my family. I truly get weepy thinking of how grateful I am for Troy to take on all that he does for me to be able to do what I do. He knows what a blessing a weekend like this is to me, yet how labor intensive it is the week prior and how exhausted I am on my return. And he is precious and patient with it all, and is Dad-extraordinaire through it all. I'm just so thankful.

So pray for the Lord to bless them -- all is working out and Ashley will be with a friend most of the weekend. I told Riley that he and dad got to have 'man-weekend', so they could burp and scratch. He approved.

Thanks for the prayers. Mission report on Monday. Maybe. :-)

Celebrating All of It!

Today's the Day!

I turn 40!

Remember, last year I had a list of 39 things I had learned? I'm sure I've learned at least one more this year. Perhaps it's just to be reminded again of how blessed I am.

Today I will get up early, spend time with my Lord, and drive carpool.

I will go to the gym and workout with friends. We are uber-rebels because we talk in class.

I will be a PTA mom at lunch time and help out with a rewards system for the 8th graders, catching a glimpse of Ashley as she shuffles by.

This evening I am free of volleyball, but there is an athletics meeting, followed by Open House to meet all of the kids' teachers.

Somehow in there we have to fit in a soccer practice.

I think at some point today, another A Better View podcast will be posted.

Tomorrow, I leave with Coffee Group to go talk to women in central Texas about Amazing Freedom in Christ.

This may sound horrendous to you. It's pretty much all I have ever wanted to do in life: be a mom and wife, and help other women see Jesus in their every day. I simply can't believe that God picked me to live this life.

I wish someone had told me how many blessings come with 40. I think I would have gotten here sooner. The only thing that's missing from my day is a date with my man. We will have to schedule one for... 2012 looks good... :-)

If you have a little time on your hands today and want to know things about me and see pictures of me that only a lifelong friend can muster up, you've gotta check out Roxanne's post commemorating this day. Bless.

Where We Are

So, yesterday was a post I wrote 6 months ago, from the pit of fear. Palm-sweating, freak-out fear.


Where are we now? Overall, our financial statements look basically the same. But I am no longer crippled by fear.


Here's the deal (oh, stars, I hear God calling me to re-write a talk I've been working on for 4 weeks): God has set me free from that fear by reminding me of what He can do.


Long story about how it worked out, but we now have a new-to-us vehicle that runs every day, not just most days, and no car payment. God provided.


I did not get that job. Turns out someone I have come to REALLY enjoy that is new in town has that job. I'm so glad she does. Yet our family continues to eat. God has provided.


Remember that my husband was in a motorcycle accident, yet miraculously unscathed? Between the insurance money from that, some extra work I did in the spring, and a bonus for him at work, we paid cash for a frugal little vacation this summer that we desperately needed, and now have a hair more cushion in our emergency fund. God has provided.


So here we are. I have a very little freelance work coming in, and things are starting to pick up. Other things are going on to remind me that God is and has been faithful through it all. Things are still tight, yet God continues to provide.


One of the reasons I am happy to recount this is akin to Deuteronomy 11: 18,19


Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

God reminded the Israelites to recount -- again and again -- what He had done for them so that they would always remember His faithful providence. He didn't need to them to do that for HIM -- God knew all He had done for the Israelites. The Israelites needed to be reminded so that they would always be reminded. Yet they forgot again and again. And i will forget again and again. May I never forget.

I also have been reminded on so many fronts, how amazingly blessed I truly am, not only financially. Of course, there was the motorcycle accident, as mentioned, that truly should have claimed my husband's life. I have worked and been around people and children who simply don't have what I do. Lately I have almost felt suffocated with the STUFF of my home, so choked am I with clutter that this family doesn't need. I truly am considering moving into a much smaller house. That would save us two-fold: smaller mortgage, less room for clutter and junk we don't need.

God hasn't done much to change my situation, but he has delivered me from the fear, time and again. He has given us plenty, time and again. Lately I have been mindful of a Proverb so difficult to pray:

“Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proverbs 30:7-9

Thank you, Lord, for providing my family with just enough, and for reminding me of your unfailing providence.

Do Not Fear

It's the Sunday after spring break.

Nope, don't check your calendar (or think that AISD can't do seasons). I'm writing this the Sunday after spring break, scheduling it to post exactly six months after I wrote it. I THINK the reason will be clear why I did such a crazy thing later.

I did share this post -- about Do Not Fear verses with you, saying it was for a later project. This is that project. I also recently tried to disspell the idea that I have it all together, and this should go a long way to that end!

Here's the deal.

I'm terrified.

All the time.

I'm very frightened.

Not one hour goes by that my fear doesn't seize me -- by the throat, stomach, or heart.

I give it to God only to take it right back.

What in heaven's name could possibly create such fear in me?

Well, money of course.

About this time last year (keeping in mind I'm writing this in March) I decided to walk away from a teaching job to try my hand at this writing business. Oh, I had grand plans and have made a little headway, but financially we are a bit of a mess.

Who would have had any idea the stock market would shrivel to 1/3 while unemployment climbs? Timing has never been my strong suit, and this has certainly been no exception.

Thankfully, at this moment, other than our mortgage, we have no debt. And we had a comfortable emergency fund built up that has been bled almost dry with various and sundry expenses.

We do own our vehicles, but the one I drive has needed repair after repair after repair. Our emergency fund is currently one major repair away from being done. Then I look at what else around our house is on the verge of breaking. What if the fence finally falls all the way over the same day the car completely dies? Our hot water heater has been on borrowed time since we moved in 7 years ago and we're very proud of the 17 years of service our washing machine has given us...

These are the things that roll around my head. It's the middle of the month. I look in my wallet and cannot imagine how the piddly few dollars in there will get us through. Then I get notice: "Youth group needs $10 on Wednesday!" "Camp deposits due!" "Trip money is due!" It's EVERYWHERE and I know it's only going to get worse as the end of school gets closer. I TRY not to bark at the people responsible for collecting that money, but it's CONSTANT.

And because you're reading this wondering, "Why didn't I know this at the time?" is one of the reasons we all think each other has it all together. The main reason I don't post this on my blog right now is because I feel called to be CONFESSIONAL about my fears and how I'm allowing them to control me -- and many of you would feel called to ACT and HELP. I am not asking for help -- not because I'm that prideful. If/ when the final shoe drops and we're totally out of repair money and out of car, we will have to seek help. I don't feel like God is calling me to humble myself to seek help in this situation.

I believe that God is calling me to trust in Him.

Believe me, my first instinct is to ask everyone I know to pray for me. But how much am I praying? My first instinct is to work harder, move faster, but I believe God is calling me to listen to Him.

Oh, 'lest you think that I believe God is calling me to sit in lotus prayer pose waiting for money to fall from the sky -- I have submitted an application to a job that I think I would enjoy. It's even a 40 hour/ week/ 50 weeks/ year job. NEVER had one of those. So I'm waiting to see where that goes -- and having a very hard time trusting. Remember that unemployment rate? Yeah, evidently I'm not exactly "one in a million", but I'm at least "one in a dozen" applying for this job.

Which is another reason I wanted to have this post six months after I wrote it. SOMETHING will have happened with our finances by now. We may have hit rock bottom and be in the process of losing our home. I may have gotten that job and worked all the way through summer. Maybe I signed a book deal this summer. Maybe Troy finally pulled all of his hair out from listening to me. Whatever. My life will be different. Better or worse, it will be where God takes us.

So I am going now to claim those verses. That is my first course of action. I want to look for other jobs -- writing and otherwise -- and many other things, but first and foremost I must claim that One who loves me more than I can ever understand has it totally in control.

And... I think frequently of my friend Donna who says, "If you have problems that money can solve, then you don't really have problems." In my heart I know that -- yet I panic.

Where we are, 6 months later, tomorrow...

Good Things Out There

LOTS of Good Things Out There, and I'm finally stopping long enough to round them back up. I think I finally have a system. Kind of.

Julie set up a tutorial (of sorts -- more of a 'point us to others' tutorials') for all kinds of bloggy goodness that I want to know how to do. Now I need a bootleg copy of Photoshop for this one project. Oh, I KID, internet police!

Deana wrote this wonderful blog post about community in Christ. If you don't understand why people 'go to church' or if you can 'be a Christian and not go to church' -- you may want to read this. Very well said, Deana.

I have, in a very short amount of time, grown to love and cherish each of the other 3 individuals working on the 'A Better View' podcast. I am blessed and challenged by each of them and their way of thinking and living. One of my co-hosts, Amanda, wrote an article that explained how her perspective toward one person from the Bible changed when she found herself walking the same road. Read Amanda's heart-wrenching article here.

Many of you know that last year, Steven Curtis Chapman faced a parent's unthinkable horror when his little girl died. Like the amazing artist he is, he has poured out his grief, longings, and questions into a beautiful song.


If you would like to add your 'Good Thing' button to your blog, copy the code into an 'HTML' box on your sidebar:
<a border="0" href="http://www.sarahstirman.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i341.photobucket.com/albums/o397/SarahSti/blogbuttongoodthing-Page002.jpg" /></a>

Wake the Kids, Phone the Numbers

Mark Your Calendars, Friends!

The members of A Better View have been asked to join a video chat show Monday morning, 8:30 CST. If you are around and available, PLEASE pop over and join us here, at Madre Minutes on MomTv.com, Monday morning. If nothing else, you will FINALLY get to SEE the 3 'podcast divas' (is that what we settled on?) that yak your ear off on A Better View each week.

Meet you there!

I shall henceforth simply refer to the college kids as 'enthusiastic drivers'. Love it.

And the Smileys? It seems most of us are left-to-right smilers, as well it should be. Jana, join us here in this millenium. We will all smile with you -- with our faces AND our keyboards. Nathaniel, THANK YOU for that link -- I had tried those Emojicons before, but couldn't find the current 'secret code'. How fun are those??? Too bad for you, non iPhone users... :-)

I believe I have decided that I am allergic to the ACU library. Sorry I didn't realize this while I was in college -- it would have provided me with all manner of excuses. The last two Wednesdays I have spent 1.5 to 2 hours in there working on a project, then spent the rest of Wednesday, and most of Thursday convinced I was sick with a cold. Now I'm guessing it's some form of book allergy. Seriously. What will I think of next?

I am doing many different little things that needed to be done -- lots of odds and ends that needed to be wrapped up. Coffee Group is traveling next week, so I am finishing up my talk. Helping Troy with a website for his business. Link when we get the website functional.


While you are helping with the mundane thoughts of this world, the folks over at A Better View need your help. As you may/may not know, we are doing a weekly podcast. A round-table type discussion with 3 women, kept on track (and professionally edited) by our producer, Steve. So Steve goes to introduce us, and always stumbles over... "Here are the... hosts? stars? of our show?" What are we? Talk goddesses?

What does one call the 3 women who sit and yak into their computers wondering if anyone other than the dog in the next room can hear it? Podcast divas? Give it your best shot. Would love a family-friendly name for us!

Can You Tell?

Um, I'm just now figuring out this 'back to school' business. Can you tell?

And of course, there's the school week of carpool which means go to school at 8 a.m., 3:30 p.m., and 5:00 p.m. (athletics). Then there's the school week of non-carpool which means only going to school at 3:30 p.m. I drive a lot.

So, in trying not to drive TOO much, on days that I 'leave the house anyway' (gym, Meals on Wheels, other appointments) I pretty much take my laptop, stay where I am, and don't come home until I've done my 3:30 school run. So I'm still figuring out when blogging fits in there. And the grocery store. Sweeping the floors just DON'T fit in there. Laundry I'm actually getting done. It's a work in progress, as you can tell.

I spend much of my time on the ACU campus, because 2 of my 'already out' days take me there. A college campus is so interesting. Here is what I am learning:

** If I lived over here, I would not like college students nearly as much as I do, primarily because of their driving habits.

** Yes, I am remembering that I used to be one and used to drive just like that. It still annoys me.

** They all look 12.

** If you don't have a pair of gladiator-type sandals, you are SO. OUT.

** I do not have a pair of gladiator sandals. I have cute sandals with bows.

** ACU could easily freeze tuition prices for the next 10 years if they didn't strive to refrigerate the interior of buildings in August. I've seen the professors. They will really survive if they sweat off a few pounds. And those that don't have a few pounds to sweat off? Are freezing, too.

** Texting and walking is just as dangerous as texting and driving. Watch. Where. You. Are. Going. People.

So, with those deep thoughts to launch you on this abbreviated week, I leave you with one ponderous thought: which direction do you emoticon? Facebook has opened up a whole new world of emoticons to me. First I have to be tolerant of my right-wing and left-wing political friends, then I have to figure out if people are smiling or frowning when they (:

So, let's take a poll. Make a smiley for me. Do you include a nose? Just your average oh, hey, I'm smiling.

Here is mine: :-) Nose and all. And I am right-handed. Does that make a difference?

Show me a smiley!

Social Media, Sarah's Thoughts

First, let me say that because I implicitly trust my marketing twin, Donny, I reduced the size of my video yesterday. He said that it was too big for the column and driving him crazy. He's a website guy -- I trust him. However, when I pulled it up on Safari, it looked muy bueno over here. But, again, because I trust Donny, I did precisely what he said and now it is a tiny little box on my Safari, but I hope it fits on his computer... :-)

P.S. (Donny, why are you Twin #2? Did you lose an arm wrestling match with Randy? Inquiring minds...)

So, yeah. Social media. It's everywhere. And if you want to: start a ministry, sell a book, launch an idea, or simply take a poll of people, you had better get on board and be on social media, too. And I am 'cause I want to do most of these things -- usually all on the same day, then I get overwhelmed and need a nap, but you get the idea.

Granted, using these things effectively (along with your time) requires discipline, and that's where the hard part comes in. It is SOOOoooooo easy to get on facebook, start chatting or looking at pictures, and before you know it, you are looking at 76 pictures of someone's vacation -- that isn't even your facebook friend and you don't even know anybody in the pictures. Oh, yes, I've done that too many times to count.

It is after some of those time-squandering moments that I want to dismantle all accounts (Twitter, Facebook, etc.) and become a monk (can women be monks?) to the technology world. I'm sure the twitching would subside in time... Throwing the baby out with the bath water, if you will.

It was in this 'going to be a technology monk' frame of mind recently that I decided to take a deep breath, step back, and evaluate social media in my life. How has it impacted my life recently and/ or have I impacted anyone else's life using social media? So... besides simply telling you how much I love watching my kids play sports or that I'm going to go workout, here are some ways social media has impacted/ affected my life recently:

** Introduced me to a group of people that I am now starting a ministry with.

** Allows me to peek into my children's lives and hear them interact with their friends.

** Given me the support of fellow writers and speakers I met at She Speaks.

** Got my husband within a hair's breadth of losing his job (long story, not blog fodder).

** Same situation, showed my husband folks who were willing to support him with or without a job.

** Let me reach out to a young lady discussing ending her life. Don't THINK she was serious, but I wasn't going to take the chance. Would you?

** Challenges me to listen to others' point of view instead of shouting my own.

** Was able to see my daughter reach out to a teammate whose facebook status was: "I think I need to be going to church." Guess who came with us to church last Sunday?

** Gave me help on an article.

** Lets me know about good businesses in town -- and bad.

... and on and on. After reading Crazy Love, I have really tried to think 'eternally minded' and wondered if facebook and Twitter fit in there. If you read through that list, you can see that they do. However, the temptation is to be the pharisee (and I certainly can see how my happy little list makes me look like one) and spend way more time updating your status about gooey Jesus love than actually getting out and living messy Jesus love.

So, in short, (don't people always say 'in short' when it's waaaaay too late to make it short?? :-) social media is like the rest of the world: there are pros and cons, good and bad, and God can use it all. I'm trying to look for the eternity opportunities on social media.

One person that has inspired me is John Dobbs. I know he seeks out ways to find local people on Twitter and Facebook so that he can connect with them and find out their needs -- prayer needs, physical needs, whatever. However they may need that messy Jesus love.

So, what about you? Do you Tweet? Are you on facebook? Do you think it's useless and time-wasting? Or a new way to minister? Or a new way to get in trouble? What do you think?

Social Media Revolution

I know many of you have already seen this video, but it is really true about the way our culture is shifting in the way we communicate. We are no longer forced to buy what Hollywood and advertisers say we MUST buy, we are able to listen to what our friends are buying based on social media. For instance, anyone in Abilene seen Junk-It mentioned on Facebook recently? I saw 4 different people RAVE about it in a week -- and each time, someone made a comment and ask for directions.

Tomorrow I have more thoughts (I KNOW! Two thoughts in the same week! Get OUT!) about social media and what it means to me, personally and my ministry and witness.

Book Talk

Notice this is not a book review. Because I am not finished with any books, though I am slap in the middle of about 4 or 5 of them. For the record? That's about 2 or 3 too many, especially considering the week I've had. Bless. I am staying awake about 4 paragraphs at a time, so reading isn't going very well. But all of the books I am reading are so amazing, I want to share with you what's going on, even though I'm not finished.

The first book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan, was a gift from the youth group for being a sponsor on the trip this summer. They gave one to all adult sponsors for trips and all sponsors who helped at camp. And, since everyone knows that any book given as a gift -- especially a gift in bulk -- was bought from Lifeway's bargain bin (not that I can't spend a dime or two at Lifeway's bargain bin) I didn't have grand expectations for the book. I threw it in my bag just because we were leaving for Colorado the next day and I didn't have a book going.

Man, oh man. It will change your life. I'm a little better than half-way through, trying to soak it all up. Very highly recommend it.

Next is a book that we will be reading together at church -- about equipping parents of 5th-12th graders, Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna. I don't know if you're familiar with any of Barna's work/ research, but he does extensive research on church, faith, religion, etc. I'm always very fascinated by his studies, and he presents his findings in very easy-to-understand ways.

I confess that this is the book that I pick up, read two paragraphs, and fall asleep. Part of it is that I'm still in the introduction, and part of it is that I either pick it up early morning or late at night and nothing would keep me awake. I think this book will have valuable lessons for all of us. I will keep you posted.

Yes, the first two books were either recommended or given by our rockin' youth dude, Ricky Pruitt. Don't go getting the big head, Ricky, but I may like your book recommendations...

Last book. Very tough to read. I never in a million years would have picked this up on my own, but I am doing a writing project that requires me to understand a little bit more about the genocide in Rwanda. Susan recommended that I read Left to Tell by Immaculee' Ilibagiza. Again, I'm about half-way through. It's awful. How can we (humans) have the capacity for so much hate? So much violence? And so much resiliency to overcome it? It is just baffling.

So... what about you? Anybody reading anything great? Got a book I need to put on my Shelfari? I'm back in (reading) action!

Got a Funny?

I could use a laugh, how 'bout you?

Besides the usual get everyone where they are supposed to be and school-supplied, and papers signed and are you aware that there are no more blue, two pocket folders WITH brads to be found in this county, we have had extra drama as background music at our house this week. The worst of it seems to have subsided and we will all move on, but God can be really funny in His timing sometimes. Faithful to carry us through, but definitely funny.

Tonight is Ashley's first volleyball game! I am SO ready to sit on some bleachers and cheer for a kid! That will really help wash some drama away, though it will include the drama of trying to figure out how to get Riley to soccer in the slap middle of the game... That's how we roll around here, right?

I would love to hear from you. What is something that has made you LAUGH OUT LOUD lately??? Not LOL -- you SAY LOL!!! But, I mean, are you REALLY??? I'm always skeptical of LOL. I confess this was funny, but no LOL or Laugh out loud for me. Give it your best shot. Youtube, joke, whatever. Got a funny?

I Would Blog....

But I'm too stinkin' HAWT. I'm annoyed. And grouchy. And HAWT. And don't hear me sayin' HOTT. Cause I'm too HAWT for that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go cook dinner and turn on my oven to 400*. Can. Not. Wait.

A Better View

Let's just pretend that no explanation is necessary regarding why I haven't blogged for the last 12 days, 'kay? But today is the first day of school here in Texas -- I know, your kids have been in school for 3 weeks, have gotten mid-term grades, the flu, and had a teacher-parent conference, but we are just beginning. So blogging will be a little more regular now that routine is a little more routine. Hair-raising and sleep-deprived, but routine.

For those of you that are on Facebook and Twitter, this is old news, but not all of you know that I have launched into the podcasting world, of all crazy things. Because that is exactly what the world was needing -- just a little more of MY voice! HA!

Several weeks ago, Steve tossed out on Facebook: What if Amanda (who I knew via blogs) and Paula (I had no idea who Paula was) and Sarah had a talk show like "The View". What would they call it. I immediately tossed back: A better view! Oh, ha, ha...

Well, later when we really considered a podcast, and tried to find a name that wouldn't be misconstrued as p*rnographic or so over-the-top, cheesy, churchy it would never reach anyone other than the 'inner echelon', A Better View it was! We decided that those of us that see things in light of the cross of Jesus truly do have a better view of this world, glimpsing the temporal in view of the eternal.

Our website for the podcast is here. Right now only our first podcast is up, but we recorded our second one last night. It will be edited and posted soon. You can listen to it at your computer, or subscribe to it at iTunes, and download it (free) and take it with you for a road trip or for your exercise, yardwork, or to harvest the corn, like Steve does.

We are just three moms and wives keeping it real, trying to live for Jesus in a fallen world. All of our conversation doesn't center around being a wife, all of our conversation doesn't center around being a mom, but I do have to say it's fairly estrogen heavy. Jeff Foxworthy says he feels like he is drowning in the estrogen ocean. Pretty sure Steve feels that way as our producer.

Hope you will give us a listen, and may you be blessed!

Heading Home

Today's the day. We are packing up and beginning our journey home today, after one last hike here.

Good thing it's a long drive back, as I will have time to grieve the end of the vacation and gear my mind to the madness of back to school.

Since I have a long trip, I wanted to leave you with some southern hilarity. I have never heard of this lady, but her accent thrills my soul. It is home. Her humor is home. You will thoroughly enjoy this, but it is a little long. Enjoy.

I Was There, Now I'm Here, Still Don't Want to Go Home...

Remember a little over a week ago, how fab She Speaks was?? Well it was. And I'm still digesting. Kind of. Because I had to stop digesting She Speaks and move on to soaking up the mountains.

And evidently I can't digest and soak at the same time, but I am enjoying it to the fullest.

We are on a bit of a budget but, guess what? The mountains are still here and look the same -- indescribably breathtaking. The air is cool and wonderful -- it was 40* when I woke up Sunday morning. I walked to some nearby waterfalls to have 'church' all by myself, blasting my ipod to praise while thanking God for His handiwork here. We are routinely dive-bombed by hummingbirds, and I just witnessed the nightly stroll of the enormous mule deer through town.

So, I have been away from the blog for a bit. I have missed all of you and hope to be back in the saddle soon-- figuratively speaking, of course. I think I'm actually getting IN a saddle tomorrow for a trail ride, and feel certain I will be eager to get out all too soon.

If I had brought my camera cord I would share with you some of the gorgeous sights we have seen the last few days. For now, you will just have to trust me. It is breathtaking. It is lovely. It is what my soul needed.

What about you? How's your soul these days? In need of refreshing, or recently refreshed? Let me know!

Drive-by Blogging

Ugh.

What a crummy day yesterday, and went to bed with a migraine as a souvenir. So, I woke up with the room spinning in circles and still feel a little dizzy -- yes, I always ACT a little dizzy, but I'm not usually actually dizzy.

I don't really have time for dizziness, of course. I finished an article this morning, after chopping one almost to the death yesterday after an editor requested that it be 25% shorter (y'all, that is like asking if I can be 25% shorter -- it is painful!). I've got laundry strewn hither and yon, both of the clean and dirty variety, about to leave for Meals on Wheels, need to recycle first, then... you get the idea.

Much happening.

But today my daddy is 360 miles away, having a spot on his lungs biopsied. We are praying for the best and would be honored if you would, as well. All other indicators (blood work, etc.) indicate that these (there are several) are non-cancerous, but it is, of course, unsettling to face. And it certainly puts laundry and article editing in perspective.

Before I hustle off to the next thing, I want to leave you with one thing I read this morning from John 15. If you remember, that is the chapter where Jesus is talking to his disciples right before he is to be crucified. He is basically reminding them to be faithful, saying over and over, "Remain in me." verse 16 says:

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit–fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

It blessed me SO much to be reminded that I was CHOSEN. Chosen and APPOINTED. And so are you. May you go and bear fruit today.

She Speaks, But She Can't...

There's too much to say. What an amazing weekend.

My first experience at She Speaks Conference, and it was quite amazing. I would love to tell you all about it, but a) it would take a full 72 hours and neither of us wants that b) I'm not sure I have it in me to put into words all that it meant to me.

Some highlights, or my own personal "Top Ten Things I Learned at She Speaks"

10. I am further along in a writing business than I realized (I've even done a few things right, too!)

9. I still have a LONG way to go...

8. Writers and speakers? Just about the most encouraging group of people I have ever encountered. Maybe that's too broad of a brush -- we were all women, and believers in Jesus Christ, so writers and speakers that are women who believe in Jesus Christ -- awesome.

7. Antique Mommy? Even more kind and wise and gracious in person than I imagined her to be. And just as cute (she couldn't have possibly been any cuter than I imagined her to be. She was just equally cute).

6. North Carolina? Or perhaps just this particular hotel... did things to a steak that my Texas-born-and-bred husband would have considered blasphemous. I considered it odd, but tasty (pineapple rings on steak, really?)

5. Cheri Keaggy? Totally rockin' worship leader. Man, oh man. And besides her sweet voice is her authenticity/ transparency. Yeah, you KNOW that's a big deal to me!

4. God didn't give me this dream to be cruel; God gave me this dream to pursue!

3. Jennifer Rothschild? Amazing keynote speaker with a heart for God and encouraging fledgling writers and speakers. One of many women I heard from this weekend that allowed me to see how a heart crazy for God cannot be camouflaged (or faked) in a speaker.

2. My writing and speaking ministry won't work unless I work it.

The number one thing I learned at She Speaks this weekend is:

1. What an amazing blessing it is to be in community with women who "get it" -- and the speakers SAID that would be one of the benefits! I am occasionally around writers, I am frequently around Christians, but to be around 600 women who understand a NEED to write and speak out of the outpouring of what God has laid on your heart. I am blown smack away at the thought of it.

And I'm now home and off and running -- our family leaves for a vacation in the mountains this week. Can. Not. WAIT!

Would you like to know what one of my fantasy/ dream prayers to God is? That He would provide a little mountain cabin for me to sneak away to do my writing, thinking, and praying. Maybe the Proverbs 31 ladies have the right idea -- they live about an hour away from the mountains. Doubt I could convince Texas-born-and-bred to pack up and move there, though.

If you're stopping by from She Speaks, leave me a comment and let me know how to find your blog. If you're just stopping by, tell me where you saw God this weekend! Would love to hear it!

Good Things Out There

Seriously, how cute is this pillow???

Darn cute, I know. I saw it over here, in the Little Bit Funky Etsy Shop that is just darlin'! Y'all, check her out! Not even kidding! So cute.

How cool is this? Coffee Group's Blog, Espresso His Love, has been named as 1 of the 100 best blogs for Christian Moms. Very cool. (Check out #68).

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Observation

When my friend Laura and I talk all through our yoga/ FLOW class -- especially while in downward dog, with upside down heads and talking underneath our armpits -- I feel as if we should be discussing how great our digestive health has been since starting on Live Active yogurt or what great Lean Cuisine we had last night.

We aren't.

God At Work

Today's the day!

Leaving today for She Speaks Conference.

In just a few hours, Troy will drive me to the airport, then take the kids on down the road to camp, then come home and be SOOOOOOOOO lonely! :-) Robert O. from church offered to come over for some prayer time if it just got unbearable! I think Troy will make it.

I wrote at the beginning of this month about how I didn't want to go, not ready, too far off track with my writing, blah-dee-blah... And I prayed. And, obviously, so did some of you. I am so very grateful.

God has brought me not only to a precious place of peace, but He is opening doors and moving in big, wondrous, and some of the strangest ways imaginable! Writing and speaking opportunities are opening -- many that may be MONTHS, possibly years away from completion or fruition, but I know God is at work. So, thank you to my prayer warriors, and please don't stop!

I am ready! (Well, right this moment I am either frantically running like the proverbial headless chicken or waiting in an airport, but...) I am ready to go soak up any word the Lord may have for me. I am ready to learn what He has for me. I am ready to tackle this next work in my life.

CHARGE!

Quick Hello!

Ola, blog friends!

Blogging VERY late today. So much going on, but I have my list. I love a good list, don't you?

I am getting ready. Tomorrow is the day! I fly out of here to go to She Speaks. The family will drop me at the airport, then Troy will take the kids to "camp" (in quotes because it's about 50 hours -- grown-ups would call it a retreat). I think Troy is very excited for a weekend to himself. I hope he is, anyway -- sounds GLORIOUS to me!

So today is a day of packing, laundry, itineraries, interviews (still have a few articles out!), and running to and fro! AND -- I still think I'm going to try to get to the pool for a bit. I've just started doing the math... Let's see... we paid how much for that yearly membership? I've been there how many times this year? So I'm paying about $25 every time I go there so far? Yeah, about that! Trying to beat the averages!

THEN next week is more exciting laundry, packing, whathaveyou, and finally a family vacation. Ready and SOOOOO not ready!

Anyone else still traveling this summer? What's up with you folks?

Blog Friends Rock!

Y'all are the best Internets in the whole world! I knew you would pull through. Can't wait to compile all of this music.

a) The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe quote was found by Leslie Ruth and Mike (mlefan). Tammy mentioned the instance I referred to in the movie with Lucy talking to Tumnus, but, as Leslie Ruth pointed out, the movie botched it up pretty good. It's pretty lame compared to the power of the written dialog. For those wondering, it's near the beginning of Chapter 8 in the book when three of the kids are at Beaver's house.

b) According to all of the fab-o input, here is my current playlist thoughts. I will probably have to cull this down to make it fit on a CD.

Shackles by Mary Mary

Signs of Life by Steven Curtis Chapman

Made to Worship by Chris Tomlin

Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin

Forgive Me by Rebecca St. James

I Am Free by Newsboys or Desperation Band

Free to be Me by Francesca Battistelli

Set Me Free by Casting Crowns

New Law by Derek Webb

Breakdown by Jack Johnson

American Dream by Casting Crowns

I Repent by Derek Webb

Free by Steven Curtis Chapman

Glorious Day by Jeff Johnson

Mirror by Barlow Girl

Free by Ginny Owens

I Will Sing of My Redeemer by Travis Cottrell

I Am Persuaded by Travis Cottrell

Jesus Saves by Travis Cottrell

Cross the Line by SuperChick (or One Girl Revolution, my personal SuperChick fave)

And, if you didn't get Ricky's comments on that post, you missed a pretty good sermon about what freedom DOESN'T mean.

And? since he put this song, completely unrelated to the topic in my mind, here's a freebie:

Need Your Help, Blog World

You guys are always full of good information for me! I need some help with some things and would love your input!

a) Because of a writing project I'm working on, I am looking for a quote in "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" about Aslan. Someone says "He's a lion??? Is he safe?" The answer is a laughing, "Oh, no, he isn't safe, but he is very, very good." I thought it came at the end of the movie, but it isn't (Lucy has a similar response to Tumnus, but I think it is referencing an earlier conversation). Is it in the movie at all, or only the book? Is anyone a LWW scholar? Would love some help!

b) Music people! Help me out! Coffee Group has a speaking engagement coming up in a few months. Our topic that we've been given is "Amazing Freedom" -- the freedom we have in Christ. That puts FFH's song "Good to be Free" in my head. I know there are TONS of other songs out there about the freedom we have in Christ -- free FROM sin and pain, as well as free to love and trust fully. Suggestions? I would love to make us a CD to be running through our heads these next few months. Do you have a song that pops into your head that talks about 'Freedom in Christ'? Spill it!

Here's one that doesn't even use the word 'freedom'!

Starting Over -- One More Time -- and More Perspective

It is looming.

I'm still in my 30's, you know? :-) I am saying that as often as possible because in about 6 weeks I won't be able to say that.

A big birthday is looming. Last year, I wrote about some things I've learned in my 39 years on that birthday (don't expect another list this year -- I may have learned a few things this year, but not 40 more!)

A year ago when I turned 39, I was staring down 40 with my 'fight face'!! It was ON and I was going to win. I made goals for my running and set off to meet them. All went well until.... (cue dreadful music) an injury! Bummer. Recovered from the injury right around New Year's, so I was in the calendar year of the birthday, still staring it down (and from 9 months away). Big plans and goals. I was going to stomp this birthday into the ground, so fit would I be!

Well, again, if you're following along, you know that I have been laid low for weeks at a time battling migraines, then the headaches caused by treating the migraines (go figure). Started surfacing from that conundrum about the time I went on the mission trip with Ashley a few weeks ago, which I returned from with a horrific case of the creeping crud.

Here is where the perspective comes in: for my birthday, I would be so happy to go the whole day without a migraine, and to sleep through the night without a coughing fit. Forget how I look -- though one of those days would probably GREATLY improve the bags under my eyes -- and forget how much or how fast I can run -- that may upset the migraine balance. The battle with minor health problems has made me increasingly grateful for a day that I can go and do what I can when I can. For my 40th birthday, if I can still walk across the street unassisted, I'm good!

Starting over?

It's another Monday, another day that, for this precise moment in time, I feel relatively healthy. I am lacing up my running shoes and starting over. Almost from absolute square one. I wish I knew how many 'do-over' Mondays I've started over with my running this year alone, let alone in my lifetime. Here's the deal: I will not stop. God has granted me one more day, and for today, the health to try to tackle it.

Am I frustrated that the November me (before I got hurt) could run circles around this starting over me? Not really, honestly. I guess there was a moment in time when I spent more time looking back at where I had been, and why can't I still be there, blah, blah. But now that just wastes too much time/ energy. This is where I am. This is today. I do the best I can. I train and run and make the most of today's workout while I can -- I don't know when my health will allow me to do it again. But I can't spend time kicking myself for not being where I was or where I want to be or where I should be.

This is me. Starting over, and grateful for the grace that allows me the day and the health to do it.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Romans 12:1

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22,23

If you are familiar in the least with VBS, you seriously need to read this. Hilarious. Joshilyn should forever be in charge of VBS games.

I know it isn't 'xactly 'Ave Maria' season, but this is a current favorite song. It is being used for some of my exercise classes, and I am really enjoying it. This live version is more fun to watch, but leaves out some of the snappy-doo that the recorded version has. Seriously, you'll have to listen. Beyonce'. Who knew?

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Another Fun Video

This was all over Facebook yesterday, so you may have already seen this, but how fun is this? This is one wedding my kids wouldn't have minded sitting through...

New Recipe Posted

As mentioned, I'm starting to almost see the Land of the Living. Hey, y'all -- yes, you, over there in the Land of the Living. Is it okay to cross over? I'm thinkin' about it... I even stayed upright most of Wednesday. Well, if you count sitting on a lounge chair at the pool for 2 hours being 'upright' (and I do).

However, I'm kind of at the point of the mama bear coming out of hibernation in the spring seeing what all havoc the cubs have done to the den while she was sleeping. Feeling a little overwhelmed. In a week from tomorrow I go to She Speaks, then come home for 3 days and take my family to Colorado.

Betwixt here and there I have four articles due, a day to keep an out-of-town friend's child for the day, a Coffee Group planning meeting, and various and sundry other things that must be done for such traveling.

So, I posted a recipe. You should check it out.

When I have some articles written, I will share them with you! Until then, check me out, skirting the edges of the Land of the Living. I will be in and amongst you in no time flat!

One more thing -- is summer busier than ever for anyone else? Is it a function of aging children or what? What is your summer like?

About to Make It

'Kay -- if you know me or keep up on facebook, Twitter, or just plain real life, you may know I have been SICK. Kids, I don't do sick. My family doesn't do sick. But we have all been sick, except for Troy, and I'm sure his time is coming. I am starting to get better. While I am trying to crawl back into life, enjoy this video. I feel certain I am the last person on the planet to see it, so enjoy it again:

Observation

When my kids were little, every summer I would dutifully send them to VBS at church (this was, of course, before we re-named it 'SBA' for no apparent reason). By mid-week, one or both of them were throwing up their toenails and had what I came to call 'the VBS virus'.

Now that my kids are older, I am dutifully sending them on mission trips. Thus far, it has only been one, but trust me, I will... If this week is any indication, I will bring them home and have about 2 days before 'mission trip malaise' of high fever and incessant coughing hits. Can someone more experienced tell me if this is how it always is?

Hospitality, Revisited

I have mentioned that I am not much into household hospitality: having people in my home isn't really my thing, love people though I do. I was recently convicted how I may not offer someone the gift of my time when someone made me feel lesser about my money. Let me explain.

When I quit teaching, Troy and I took a gamble on my writing career that, thus far, hasn't paid off too well financially. We eat, we do okay, Troy provides for us quite well and God has taken care of all of our needs, but there is not a lot of room for extras in our budget. Partly for that reason, and partly for health reasons, we don't eat out often. I don't mean we don't eat at fancy restaurants often, but frequently pick up fast foods. I mean we rarely purchase any food not prepared in this kitchen.

Not long ago, we were leaving somewhere with someone I know fairly well who I thought would be aware of our (financial) circumstances. Both families were heading out to eat anyway, and we discussed going somewhere together. I mentioned my criteria, hoping to keep the meal within my family's budget. I got laughed at: "Oh, that's only because you want to get your way." Then, ironically, that person continued to steer the choices so that they could get their way. Since at this point I was too embarrassed to say anything else, I agreed to something that was far outside of our budget. I didn't enjoy the meal since we ended up spending about twice what we would have for a meal.

I was annoyed at myself for not speaking up, but I thought about the message I got from that person: "Come along if you like, but to spend time with us, you have to fit in, spend a certain amount, and go/do where I want." Gotcha.

Not much later, we were in the same situation with a different family -- one that we don't really know as well. The conversation went a little differently. In short, it was, "Whatever you guys need. Great with us!" The message I got was, "It doesn't matter what you choose, we just want to spend time with you. That's the important part." I paid a lot less for that meal and enjoyed it much more -- mainly because I felt welcomed and accepted for who I am and what works for me and my family.

I hope that I am the last one to make someone feel left out because of finances, but I'm sure there are some people that my kids go to school with that simply can't keep up with the $5 here and $15 there for t-shirts, fees, what-have-you, etc.

On top of that, I think of the most valuable commodity I have: my time. If someone needs any of my time, I fear I may try to cram them in a corner of my day when it works for me. May I never embarrass or make anyone feel less-than because of the left-over of my time that I try to offer them.

Continuing to work on this hospitality business...

Perspective

As mentioned, I am still recovering from the trip. Partly in the sleep world, but partly because I got screwed up and forgot a few too many days to take my migraine preventative, so I'm trying to adjust to that all over again. I'm thankful to realize it isn't just me in my age -- Ashley woke up feeling pretty crummy yesterday and I think we are all just trying to adjust.

Trip was, as mentioned, wonderful, but not without snags (has anyone ever been on a mission trip that had no snags?). Got about 15 miles out of town and had the first flat. Oh, yes. Hobbled another 20 miles to get it fixed (that vehicle was a bus-type thing, so the tires weren't standard size). Drove another 30 or so miles and had another flat. Major ordeal to get the kids unloaded in shifts, etc. and to lunch while the bus got into town and repaired. We left at 8 a.m. and it was 3:30 p.m before we had been on the road for 60 consecutive minutes. Ugh. 10 hour trip became 15.

Obviously, that isn't a great way to start a trip, but it's a great way to see who you're traveling with. The adults were so amazing. I wish I could be like all of them. Even-keel, and treated all of those teens with kindness and respect the entire time. Precious folks.

Later (maybe) I will tell you what all we did. I did a little different than most: another lady and I were basically 'mission trip moms' and (what else do you do when you're a mom???) went to Wal-Mart a million times, took a kid to the clinic (which gave me two weeks worth of blog material alone), and shuttled work crews to their sites. We also cooked real for real food for lunches. I say 'we', but the other gal did the lion's share of the work while I stood around thinking, "she makes that look SO easy..."

Oh, and we sweated. A lot. It was HOT. I was accused of not breaking a sweat because I wasn't on an actual work team the first two days. I just made it look good! :-) The afternoons were for VBS for a little Hispanic church across town. We split into teams: snacks, crafts, Bible lesson, games. Poor games: outdoors on a blacktop parking lot. Bless 'em. But it was awesome and the teens did GREAT and the VBS attendees seemed to have a GREAT time. So precious.

More details later. For now, those of you that hang around here regularly, I wanted to share this with you. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling a little bit (or a lot) like a loser because my writing isn't going like I would like? Well, one of the last nights we were there helped me gain perspective on that.

We split into a boy group and a girl group. Each group went to dinner, then back to our dorm for a boy devo and girl devo. The girl devo started with some 'girl business' that turned into a few of the adults being mom and talking through some stuff that had NOTHING to do with the devo, but was necessary for the moment. It was precious and hilarious. The devo just became 'what's on your heart' and was very sweet.

After the devo, rounding up all of the girls getting them towards bed (can you say 'herding cats'??? OI!!!) one of the girls crawled up in my bed. "Can I talk to you?" Her gorgeous brown eyes were brimming with tears and her chin was quivering around braces with multi-colored bands. She poured out her heart about her relationship with God and what she wanted it to be and what it really was -- those things we all struggle with, but when you're 13, you don't know you just may as well get used to the struggle and start learning how/praying to come out on top more times than not.

Getting her squared away and prayed over, I realized I wouldn't have traded that moment for any book deal I may have gotten had I missed last week. My writing isn't helping us financially very much these days, but I am so thankful my life is where I am able to make those kinds of trips and experience those things with the teens. It also doesn't hurt that a few of Ashley's friends told her I was 'awesome' and she heard from a few others how they 'just aren't close to their mom...' I think Ashley has realized that, yes, I'm a dork and embarrassing, but it could be so much worse. Oddly enough, I bet we didn't spend 30 minutes together all week, and I had to make an effort to spend those 30 minutes with her. We were BUSY!

So, I continue to rest and nap and recover little by little. But I'm oh-so-thankful for the opportunity I have to witness God in action, molding lives.

Staggering Back Into Blog World

I am back.

I am back and trying to establish routine and normalcy. I make it until noon until I collapse.

The trip was wonderful. More details later.

My husband missed me greatly -- I think he and Riley had pizza about 4 times while I was gone -- so there is an added bonus upon my return! And at some point I shall tell you about how he surprised me upon my return!

Until then, I am probably taking a nap!

Business Idea

For you entrepreneurial types:

Imagine there is some mom out there envisioning herself to be a frugal, cost-conscious mom like myself and doesn't believe camp to be in the budget for the summer.

At this point in the summer, frugal, cost-conscious mom is willing to empty the retirement account, sell the car, and rent out a room for a week's peace and freedom from the demands on transportation and entertainment.

Last minute, major overly priced summer camp. It would be a sure thing.

How Great The Father's Love

(originally posted 3/27/06)

on heartlight

I overheard a young mother recounting her nighttime ritual of laying her head on her pillow and asking herself, "Did I love my family enough today? If something happens to me tonight will they know exactly how much I loved them?"

As an "older and wiser" woman — and more skeptical and a bit jaded, I suppose — my first instinct was to laugh: "Well, of course you didn't love them enough! How silly!" Jesus conceded that though we are imperfect parents (He literally called us "evil"!) we still do the best we know how! (Luke 6:11-13) Chances are, I did NOT love my family enough today or on any day.

Her question, however, haunted me. I continued to turn it over again and again in my mind. The question seemed a bit less daunting and a lot less accusing if I rephrased it: "Could I love my children more, could I love my children better, tomorrow?"

Well, Lord willing, I will be given tomorrow with my family. And yes, I will try to love them more completely tomorrow. However, none of us is promised tomorrow for our families or ourselves.

I have wept with mothers who have kissed tiny foreheads for the last time to send them to "The Land Where There Is No Tomorrow." I have prayed and pleaded with mothers whose children have been precariously close to the edge of "The Land Where There Is No Tomorrow." Those women know what it is to lay their heads down at night and ask, "Did I love them enough ...?"

My husband and I have tangoed around the line of calling it quits on "happily ever after." With our new resolve for our marriage, I am painfully aware of how fragile a marriage can be. I am fully aware of his choice to be here. I am intentional about daily letting him know that I appreciate his choice and all that he is to our family. Thankfully, I have not faced the horrific loss of one of my children. But, I think I have failed to be intentional about letting them know how thankful I am for them, as well.

The old apostle John, near the end of his life, reminded us, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1) My loving Father has LAVISHED His love on me. Surely, that lavished love should run over and splash on my family.

One small thing I am realizing more and more is that as my children grow, the frequent opportunity to touch or hug them is diminishing. I don't lift them in and out of car seats or high chairs any more. I don't help them in and out of the bathtub, wipe their faces, or even brush their hair for them any more. They are no longer at an arm's distance or underfoot all day, so I must be intentional about meaningful touch for my children. I know that my arms ache when my husband is not in town to hug and touch me. My children need touch and love even more!

I also realize that sometimes I really have to try to listen carefully to what my children say. I am frequently guilty of multi-tasking which, I've come to realize, means doing several things poorly at the same time. It really doesn't take very long to sit, look into their eyes, and really hear what they are saying — and sometimes, if I am really listening, I can even hear what they aren't saying. I think about how much it means to me when someone has obviously heard what I said and then later asks me about it. I want my children to know they are valuable enough to get my full attention!

Another thing that I've realized that means a lot to my kids is to simply sit together and hang around together. Of course, the TV should be off for this — although it's also a good idea to know what they're watching and talk to them about it. My kids like for me to talk to them about my day, as well as listen to them about theirs. We dream and scheme, hope and plan.

Meaningful touch, intentional listening, and being together are not huge undertakings. They take a very little amount of time — my kids really like to limit how much time they hang out with me anyway— and they require no money at all! I just have to be intentional about doing those things.

And tonight I will wonder, "Could I love them more tomorrow?"

Deep Thoughts

(originally posted March 12, '06)

The Jews would not willingly tread upon the smallest piece of paper in their way, but took it up; for possibly, they say, the name of God may be on it. Though there was a little superstition in this, yet truly there is nothing but good religion in it, if we apply it to men. Trample not on any; there may be some work of grace there, that thou knowest not of. The name of God may be written upon that soul thou treadest on; it may be a soul that Christ thought so much of, as to give His precious blood for it; therefore despise it not. -- S. T. Coleridge

Differences Between Moms and Dads

(originally posted 8-01-05)

No, this isn't an anatomy lesson. This really struck me a few weeks ago. On July 4th, Troy was off of work, of course, and we had a fun family day. Early in the day, before it got too miserably hot, we decided to go for a bike ride. The kids and I all have bikes, but our oldest chose not to go on the ride, so Troy used her bike and the three of us went for a ride. Keep in mind that the kids and I have ridden quite frequently together. It basically always makes me a nervous wreck. I spend most of my time coaching on bicycle safety:

"Stay in a single-file line on the right side of the road."

"Slow down at this intersection to watch for cars. They have the stop sign, but make sure they see you."

"Keep your helmet on the top part of your head."

The funny thing is that when I was riding with my husband (who refused to wear a helmet) I should have been saying the same things. I realized that while I feel it is my job to teach my children how to be safe on their bicycles, Troy believes it is his job to teach them how to do a perfect wheelie and how to go 'dirt-biking' over the mounds of dirt at a nearby construction site. In all honesty -- each of those things is important. So I'm thankful that Troy is around to teach such things (I don't think I could ever pull off a wheelie).

I thought the same thing last week on our amusement-park tour. It was my self-appointed job to make sure everyone got enough water to drink, was always with an adult, and didn't eat so much junk that they got sick (which was easy to do since after paying $9 for an icee for everyone, we were done for the day -- I'm not exaggerating a penny). Troy had to make sure that everyone rode at least one thing that was a little bit scary for them, then on Friday he made the most beloved rule of all. After we had both jumped all over youngest for burping quite audibly at the steak house the night before, Troy made a new rule after lunch on Friday: "Burping after meals consumed in an amusement park is okay." After this pronunciation, he proceeded to shake the rafters with his own eructation. The kids were thrilled.

I am so thankful to God for designing this dance we do through life of give / take, push / pull, worry / play as parents. I am so thankful for the man I married to take on his role as bicycle daredevil instructor and roller coaster evaluator.

A Few Prayers...

In a little over an hour, Ashley and I will be leaving with 32 of our closest Jr. High friends and their parents to go do mission work in McAllen, Texas. It's about an 8-hour drive. We will spend the week doing service for the Las Milpas Church of Christ -- working on homes in the mornings (painting and roofing) and performing a Vacation Bible School in the afternoon.

If you are inclined to say a prayer, I would love for you to pray for all of us. Some specifics for our trip would be:

• Safety in travels
• Good health of all going
• Kids and adults would be filled with Holy Spirit and show Jesus to the people we are serving.
• Bonds would be formed among the group that travels together that would allow us to serve God more effectively upon our return

"My boys" are going to be here this week. Please also remember them in your prayers as Troy is still on crutches and Riley will pretty much be accompanying him to work most days. 

While I'm gone, I'll be posting some old blogs! 

Marriage (and Family) Monday

In mentioning last week that I always try to be transparent here, I realized what a tightrope that can be. I do try to be transparent, in person and on the internet. Honestly, I see no reason not to be and I have precious little tolerance for people who aren't, as mentioned here.

However, keep in mind that 'no man is an island unto himself' and I live in a house of three other people -- souls that I am entrusted with safeguarding and honoring. I do not know the balance of transparency and safeguarding these souls. 

So, in omitting much of the little day-to-day nuances and issues that come with living in a family, the picture you are left with may be a little too rosy on occasion. I am not going to spend time telling you all the awful ways that we are a way-too-normal family. Let's just say -- we aren't perfect, and please don't let the fact that I TRY not to air much of our mess here lead you to believe we don't have our occasional bumps and bruises.

Just as Satan feeds me lies and discontent about myself and my gift, you know he tells me the same things about my marriage and my husband. Even my list last week? Yeah, I had to think past the "Well, he doesn't do this, and he isn't that..." honestly, I had to think long and hard. But I'm so glad I did! I AM crazy about my husband -- but I had to try to remember why. And, keep in mind, I was only a week away from an accident that could have easily claimed his life. I had been thinking on why I was thankful to have him around! Life hasn't been easy for us lately. I wouldn't say it has been particularly difficult, but it hasn't been easy, either. It certainly hasn't been a time of sitting around with dewy eyes thinking gooey thoughts about the one I love. 

If you are having a hard time remembering why you are crazy about your spouse, I would encourage you to make a list as well. It's a fun exercise. 

Even on facebook when I commented that one of my children was ugly to me, many assumed which child it was (they all assumed the same child). I didn't say anything, trying to protect the innocent and guilty alike, but they were assuming incorrectly. So I shall probably refrain from any more generic comments about my children's behavior. I mean, aren't you glad YOUR parents didn't have the internet when you were a pre-teen and teen? I am!

I say all this to say -- my silence on a subject MAY mean things are great, but it may mean that I am honoring my family by not airing our messes on the internet. If you would like to sit and take me out for ... water (I can't do coffee, tea, or Diet Coke anymore ... I'm a  CHEAP date) I will be happy to talk to you and be as transparent as you can stand, but on the internet I tend to keep things a little closer to the vest, as it were. 

I, too, am guilty of assuming that one person has it all together because of how much or little I read on the internet. Please don't assume that I am that person that has it all together. I keep threatening to post a picture of my laundry room to prove otherwise! :-) We're a mess around here with fusses and drama and tears like everyone else (you truly wouldn't believe what is taking place AS I AM TYPING THIS). But God's grace keeps us going one more day, and blesses us with enough laughter to make us think that it's all worth it in the end.

Hug your family tight and find enough to love to wash over the little fusses and big messes.

Migraine Info Posted

I am not a doctor, I don't even play one on blogland TV. But I have learned a LOT about migraine in the last 8 weeks. Every time I mention that I have come through another victory about my migraines, someone asks me about it.

So, I wrote up what I know. I didn't put it here, because it's ridiculously long. I put it here. I may put a link to it on the sidebar. If I can be a pro about anything, I guess it will be headaches!

If you are a migraine sufferer you may want to check it out.

Encouragement and FREE STUFF!

One of the reasons I was so transparent with you about 'where I am'  yesterday was my desire to always be completely honest and transparent -- even to you, internets, who may or may not comment and let me know you are there. Another reason is purely selfish -- I thought you may have some kind words to give a little pat and help me back to the right direction. And you didn't disappoint.

It just makes me think of the body of Christ. I love it so. I love that my task as writer is to encourage and enlighten and do whatever God would have me do that, Lord willing, bolsters you in your walk with Him. Yet when I grow weary or the clutter and noise from the world crowds out what the Lord would have me say, it is you people, you wonderful people that I theoretically encourage, that lift me up and set me on my way, thus enabling me to do my job. 

That is how His body works. Love it.

¹¹It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, ¹²to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

 ¹⁴Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:11-16

Now that you have encouraged me, I leave you with the opportunity to win some FREE STUFF! Scoot over to SassafrasSweet's blog and check it out (I sent you to her Etsy shop not too long ago) and enter to win some free dish towels. Easy as pie!

The following song really is more my current theme song with everything -- writing, whatever. I just had to put a little distance between Ephesians and Miley Cyrus in this post... What does it say about me if a kid who was born two days after I got married is singing my theme song? Hmmm.... it may be a sad statement about me, but I do love the song:

Off Track

So.

Once upon a time, I put it out there.

My dream, my goal, my hope, my idea.

No one laughed (audibly).

But the next month I got a record number of migraines. Hmmmm.... 

And I started drowning in a cycle of migraines and figuring them out, then once I found some relief from migraines I went on a medicine to PREVENT a migraine that instead gave me a headache EVERY day (but it wasn't a migraine!). Can you say irony? 

Also, how great do you think it is to be MARRIED to someone that truly has a headache EVERY day??? Yes, indeed, we were livin' the dream over here!

Lo and behold, this week I look up and realized that the end of (now) this month is a writing conference I'm attending. A writing conference I have scraped and saved to be able to getto  register for, that my parents generously bought me air fare for, that I had grand plans to go to with book proposal in hand. 

I don't have a book proposal in hand. I don't have a book inside my head. I'm doing good to still have my head attached at this point, I figure.

I'll be honest. If I didn't already have loads of my own money and other people's sunk into this conference, I wouldn't go. I have this week that I will be finishing swimming lessons and next week I will be on a mission trip with Ashley. I'll be back in town for a few weeks, then here's my conference!! Yay! or not...

I think I even signed up to have either my writing or one of my talks critiqued by a group of my peers, but I don't even know which I signed up for right now. Susan has finished getting ready for hers (which is what made me remember that was even part of the conference). 

So, I'm off the writing track. I feel lost as lost can be in trying to nail down this dream of mine. After battling my health, I feel like I'm starting completely over which would be fine, but now I realize I have to go to a conference. Yes, I'm supposed to learn at the conference, but everything in me is already screaming at me, "You don't belong there! You aren't really a writer! Poser! Imposter! They're all going to know you don't belong!" 

So.

Once upon a time I had a dream. I think I still have it.