Marriage (and Family) Monday

In mentioning last week that I always try to be transparent here, I realized what a tightrope that can be. I do try to be transparent, in person and on the internet. Honestly, I see no reason not to be and I have precious little tolerance for people who aren't, as mentioned here.

However, keep in mind that 'no man is an island unto himself' and I live in a house of three other people -- souls that I am entrusted with safeguarding and honoring. I do not know the balance of transparency and safeguarding these souls. 

So, in omitting much of the little day-to-day nuances and issues that come with living in a family, the picture you are left with may be a little too rosy on occasion. I am not going to spend time telling you all the awful ways that we are a way-too-normal family. Let's just say -- we aren't perfect, and please don't let the fact that I TRY not to air much of our mess here lead you to believe we don't have our occasional bumps and bruises.

Just as Satan feeds me lies and discontent about myself and my gift, you know he tells me the same things about my marriage and my husband. Even my list last week? Yeah, I had to think past the "Well, he doesn't do this, and he isn't that..." honestly, I had to think long and hard. But I'm so glad I did! I AM crazy about my husband -- but I had to try to remember why. And, keep in mind, I was only a week away from an accident that could have easily claimed his life. I had been thinking on why I was thankful to have him around! Life hasn't been easy for us lately. I wouldn't say it has been particularly difficult, but it hasn't been easy, either. It certainly hasn't been a time of sitting around with dewy eyes thinking gooey thoughts about the one I love. 

If you are having a hard time remembering why you are crazy about your spouse, I would encourage you to make a list as well. It's a fun exercise. 

Even on facebook when I commented that one of my children was ugly to me, many assumed which child it was (they all assumed the same child). I didn't say anything, trying to protect the innocent and guilty alike, but they were assuming incorrectly. So I shall probably refrain from any more generic comments about my children's behavior. I mean, aren't you glad YOUR parents didn't have the internet when you were a pre-teen and teen? I am!

I say all this to say -- my silence on a subject MAY mean things are great, but it may mean that I am honoring my family by not airing our messes on the internet. If you would like to sit and take me out for ... water (I can't do coffee, tea, or Diet Coke anymore ... I'm a  CHEAP date) I will be happy to talk to you and be as transparent as you can stand, but on the internet I tend to keep things a little closer to the vest, as it were. 

I, too, am guilty of assuming that one person has it all together because of how much or little I read on the internet. Please don't assume that I am that person that has it all together. I keep threatening to post a picture of my laundry room to prove otherwise! :-) We're a mess around here with fusses and drama and tears like everyone else (you truly wouldn't believe what is taking place AS I AM TYPING THIS). But God's grace keeps us going one more day, and blesses us with enough laughter to make us think that it's all worth it in the end.

Hug your family tight and find enough to love to wash over the little fusses and big messes.


Roxanne said...

And that is what a family is SUPPOSED to be. . .it's the place where we see God's love in action--for all of the good and bad and beautiful and ugly--and we just keep on loving and forgiving and taking one more step forward every, single day. Great post. Love you.

mindy said...

Thank you for being honest and transparent on here. I agree, sometimes it's easy for facebook and blogs to become a place to keep up with the Joneses, but it can be a hard balance, because it can also become a place to whine and complain. I guess this is not just a problem with internet communities, church CAN tend to be the same way. Community should be a place for honesty, love, forgiveness, and encouragement. Thank you for being real. Love and prayers and you continue to WRITE!!!

Stephanie said...

No rain, no rainbows.

I love this: "we aren't perfect, and please don't let the fact that I TRY not to air much of our mess here lead you to believe we don't have our occasional bumps and bruises." And hear, hear.
I LOVE how you write, I also understand the sacred balance we creative people must honor. Being creative means often that we can find ways to utilize the rain and the muck and turn it into something positive - for you that positive is in the form of amazingly honest and transparent and insightful essays. You clearly think about the "ugly" and want to transform it into something lovely.
In a way it takes "if you can't say something nice don't say anything" to a new interpretation.

I love the list you wrote too. I've been writing one for a while for J - working up to 100 Things. It is very therapeutic.

I am really really really sorry you can't have coffee... That makes me want to cry.

Lisa Laree said...

It is hard, isn't it, to balance 'being real' with 'guarding the home'.

If you ever make it to the Rocket City, can I buy you a Sprite?

Royce Ogle said...

Join the club kid! None of us has it all together. Some of us are just better at veiling the bitter truth than others. Each of us shares one truth, we are flawed goods, only made perfect by the Christ.

Until the Day comes we will grope in the night, sometimes better than others, but never perfectly.

Great blog and I'm sure a great lady.

for Jesus,

Susan said...

Good job, Sara Lu! You are right, it's important to be transparent but also so God honoring to honor those we love. That goes for our family and those around us, too.

Thank you for transparency that is lead by wisdom. Again, good job!

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