Once upon a time, I put it out there.
No one laughed (audibly).
But the next month I got a record number of migraines. Hmmmm....
And I started drowning in a cycle of migraines and figuring them out, then once I found some relief from migraines I went on a medicine to PREVENT a migraine that instead gave me a headache EVERY day (but it wasn't a migraine!). Can you say irony?
Also, how great do you think it is to be MARRIED to someone that truly has a headache EVERY day??? Yes, indeed, we were livin' the dream over here!
Lo and behold, this week I look up and realized that the end of (now) this month is a writing conference I'm attending. A writing conference I have scraped and saved to be able to getto register for, that my parents generously bought me air fare for, that I had grand plans to go to with book proposal in hand.
I don't have a book proposal in hand. I don't have a book inside my head. I'm doing good to still have my head attached at this point, I figure.
I'll be honest. If I didn't already have loads of my own money and other people's sunk into this conference, I wouldn't go. I have this week that I will be finishing swimming lessons and next week I will be on a mission trip with Ashley. I'll be back in town for a few weeks, then here's my conference!! Yay! or not...
I think I even signed up to have either my writing or one of my talks critiqued by a group of my peers, but I don't even know which I signed up for right now. Susan has finished getting ready for hers (which is what made me remember that was even part of the conference).
So, I'm off the writing track. I feel lost as lost can be in trying to nail down this dream of mine. After battling my health, I feel like I'm starting completely over which would be fine, but now I realize I have to go to a conference. Yes, I'm supposed to learn at the conference, but everything in me is already screaming at me, "You don't belong there! You aren't really a writer! Poser! Imposter! They're all going to know you don't belong!"
So.
Once upon a time I had a dream. I think I still have it.
