Wednesday

Off Track

So.

Once upon a time, I put it out there.


No one laughed (audibly).

But the next month I got a record number of migraines. Hmmmm.... 

And I started drowning in a cycle of migraines and figuring them out, then once I found some relief from migraines I went on a medicine to PREVENT a migraine that instead gave me a headache EVERY day (but it wasn't a migraine!). Can you say irony? 

Also, how great do you think it is to be MARRIED to someone that truly has a headache EVERY day??? Yes, indeed, we were livin' the dream over here!

Lo and behold, this week I look up and realized that the end of (now) this month is a writing conference I'm attending. A writing conference I have scraped and saved to be able to getto  register for, that my parents generously bought me air fare for, that I had grand plans to go to with book proposal in hand. 

I don't have a book proposal in hand. I don't have a book inside my head. I'm doing good to still have my head attached at this point, I figure.

I'll be honest. If I didn't already have loads of my own money and other people's sunk into this conference, I wouldn't go. I have this week that I will be finishing swimming lessons and next week I will be on a mission trip with Ashley. I'll be back in town for a few weeks, then here's my conference!! Yay! or not...

I think I even signed up to have either my writing or one of my talks critiqued by a group of my peers, but I don't even know which I signed up for right now. Susan has finished getting ready for hers (which is what made me remember that was even part of the conference). 

So, I'm off the writing track. I feel lost as lost can be in trying to nail down this dream of mine. After battling my health, I feel like I'm starting completely over which would be fine, but now I realize I have to go to a conference. Yes, I'm supposed to learn at the conference, but everything in me is already screaming at me, "You don't belong there! You aren't really a writer! Poser! Imposter! They're all going to know you don't belong!" 

So.

Once upon a time I had a dream. I think I still have it.

9 comments:

Linda said...

Listen to the Still Small Voice within your heart and not the loud one screaming in your ear.

You write, Sarah. You *are* a writer.

Tell Satan to go to .... well, you know....

Kelly Sessions said...

You know, I read that and thought...Sarah, God gave you a voice and wether you sing the words, yell the words, think the words or write the words....he wants to speak through you and there are all sorts of different ears attached to different people that hear in different ways, and whatever you write will come from him funny, sad, personal story, whatever you write will fall on some set of ears and bless them! So KEEP IT UP GIRL!

Erica said...

Oh Sarah, we all have times of struggle but with God's help you can push through this too. You are a writer who has an amazing God given gift. I have loved everything I have ever read of yours and am left wanting to read more. I will be praying for the words to flow over the next few weeks so that when you attend the conference you be able to focus and be confident in your ability.

Roxanne said...

I love you. I have to go and cook lunch, but I love you and I'll be back.

Stephanie said...

You are so lucky!! A Writer's Conference! You still have time.

mstirman said...

The earth without form and void. The ark that needed a builder. A bush that burned but didn't burn up. A water soaked sacrifice that burned anyway. A sea that parted under a walking staff. A giant that needed slaying. A people that needed to return to their God. All stories that were written by ordinary people with extraordinary motivation. That's you.

Scott F said...

Seems to me Satan is afraid of the power that God will bring forth through your writing to touch lives. Discouraging and encouraging at the same time! Don't give up!

Warren Baldwin said...

An idea for a book ... Here is one suggestion. Read in Proverbs until a verse jumps out at you for more attention. Stop there and analyze what grabbed your attention. What is the theme of the verse? Are there other biblical verses on this theme? Stories from the Bible? Stories from your own life, your husband's, your children's?

Then, brainstorm. Write down anything and everything that comes to mind as quickly as it pops in there. Don't worry about spelling, grammar, etc., just get the ideas down.

Then, go back and jot down ideas that these ideas bring to mind.

Two or three hours later, you could have several pages of ideas ready to be organized, categorized, and written about.

Note: if you follow this and you get a book, I'd like a copy!

Janice Garrison said...

You definitely have a gift with writing. I don’t get over here as often as I would like, but you never disappoint.

Don’t listen to the ‘father of lies’…go to the one who can make your ‘joy complete.’

I’ll be praying for you.

 
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