So, yesterday was a post I wrote 6 months ago, from the pit of fear. Palm-sweating, freak-out fear.
Where are we now? Overall, our financial statements look basically the same. But I am no longer crippled by fear.
Here's the deal (oh, stars, I hear God calling me to re-write a talk I've been working on for 4 weeks): God has set me free from that fear by reminding me of what He can do.
Long story about how it worked out, but we now have a new-to-us vehicle that runs every day, not just most days, and no car payment. God provided.
I did not get that job. Turns out someone I have come to REALLY enjoy that is new in town has that job. I'm so glad she does. Yet our family continues to eat. God has provided.
Remember that my husband was in a motorcycle accident, yet miraculously unscathed? Between the insurance money from that, some extra work I did in the spring, and a bonus for him at work, we paid cash for a frugal little vacation this summer that we desperately needed, and now have a hair more cushion in our emergency fund. God has provided.
So here we are. I have a very little freelance work coming in, and things are starting to pick up. Other things are going on to remind me that God is and has been faithful through it all. Things are still tight, yet God continues to provide.
One of the reasons I am happy to recount this is akin to Deuteronomy 11: 18,19
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
God reminded the Israelites to recount -- again and again -- what He had done for them so that they would always remember His faithful providence. He didn't need to them to do that for HIM -- God knew all He had done for the Israelites. The Israelites needed to be reminded so that they would always be reminded. Yet they forgot again and again. And i will forget again and again. May I never forget.
I also have been reminded on so many fronts, how amazingly blessed I truly am, not only financially. Of course, there was the motorcycle accident, as mentioned, that truly should have claimed my husband's life. I have worked and been around people and children who simply don't have what I do. Lately I have almost felt suffocated with the STUFF of my home, so choked am I with clutter that this family doesn't need. I truly am considering moving into a much smaller house. That would save us two-fold: smaller mortgage, less room for clutter and junk we don't need.
God hasn't done much to change my situation, but he has delivered me from the fear, time and again. He has given us plenty, time and again. Lately I have been mindful of a Proverb so difficult to pray:
“Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proverbs 30:7-9
Thank you, Lord, for providing my family with just enough, and for reminding me of your unfailing providence.