Starting Over -- One More Time -- and More Perspective

It is looming.

I'm still in my 30's, you know? :-) I am saying that as often as possible because in about 6 weeks I won't be able to say that.

A big birthday is looming. Last year, I wrote about some things I've learned in my 39 years on that birthday (don't expect another list this year -- I may have learned a few things this year, but not 40 more!)

A year ago when I turned 39, I was staring down 40 with my 'fight face'!! It was ON and I was going to win. I made goals for my running and set off to meet them. All went well until.... (cue dreadful music) an injury! Bummer. Recovered from the injury right around New Year's, so I was in the calendar year of the birthday, still staring it down (and from 9 months away). Big plans and goals. I was going to stomp this birthday into the ground, so fit would I be!

Well, again, if you're following along, you know that I have been laid low for weeks at a time battling migraines, then the headaches caused by treating the migraines (go figure). Started surfacing from that conundrum about the time I went on the mission trip with Ashley a few weeks ago, which I returned from with a horrific case of the creeping crud.

Here is where the perspective comes in: for my birthday, I would be so happy to go the whole day without a migraine, and to sleep through the night without a coughing fit. Forget how I look -- though one of those days would probably GREATLY improve the bags under my eyes -- and forget how much or how fast I can run -- that may upset the migraine balance. The battle with minor health problems has made me increasingly grateful for a day that I can go and do what I can when I can. For my 40th birthday, if I can still walk across the street unassisted, I'm good!

Starting over?

It's another Monday, another day that, for this precise moment in time, I feel relatively healthy. I am lacing up my running shoes and starting over. Almost from absolute square one. I wish I knew how many 'do-over' Mondays I've started over with my running this year alone, let alone in my lifetime. Here's the deal: I will not stop. God has granted me one more day, and for today, the health to try to tackle it.

Am I frustrated that the November me (before I got hurt) could run circles around this starting over me? Not really, honestly. I guess there was a moment in time when I spent more time looking back at where I had been, and why can't I still be there, blah, blah. But now that just wastes too much time/ energy. This is where I am. This is today. I do the best I can. I train and run and make the most of today's workout while I can -- I don't know when my health will allow me to do it again. But I can't spend time kicking myself for not being where I was or where I want to be or where I should be.

This is me. Starting over, and grateful for the grace that allows me the day and the health to do it.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Romans 12:1

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22,23


Barbara said...

I've got nearly 30 years on you and can't tell you how far ahead of you I am in the number of "start-over" days, weeks, and months I've had, and how grateful I am for God's grace that we have them. I'd (we'd) be in lots of trouble without them.

Roxanne said...

Well, 40 is close enough to look me straight in the eye. . .and I'm running to give it a big 'ole hug!!!

Linda said...

Don't fear 40.... it is very Freeing!

Enjoy - May you get the perfect day!

Janice Garrison said...

Sweet Sarah, I’ve got 21 years on your ‘almost’ 40. I love the following verse…Ps 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. I try not to spend too much time on my yesterdays or on my tomorrows. God will fill the day. I pray you feel better daily.

Amanda Sanders said...

Wow. This really hit home. Today was my first day back at the gym since my unfortunate tailbone break. Instead of the usual groaning and internal moaning over how much ground I have lost..I just was happy to be starting out instead of sitting on an ice pack.

Great post!

Barb said...

Having just had Jillian and her 30 Day Shred kick my butt today, your post made me laugh! I am staring at 46 and thankful I still have the energy and desire to go head-to-head with Jill!

Come on, Sarah ~ you can do it! Starting over is way better than the alternative of avoiding it!!

See you soon!

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