Can't We All Just Get Along?

A rare occurrence has been taking place at my house.

Like... "call the Smithsonian" kind of rare.

My kids have been getting along. Working together, asking each other's advice -- then actually listening to the advice offered.

It is a beautiful thing.

To hear your children getting along warms the cockles of  my heart (I love to toss out the word "cockles" -- you just don't get to use that every day) and ranks right up there with their decision to accept Christ in baptism, as well as watching them use one of the many gifts God has given them.

I wonder.

I wonder how God feels about his own children getting along.

How He feels when I can't see past the fact that my brother in Christ chooses to tell God he loves Him and worship a different way than I do, so dismiss my brother altogether.

... or how He feels when I can't see past which lever my sister in Christ pulls on election day or the sign she has in her yard so speak venomous words about her to others.

I wonder how He feels when I judge my sister who was raised in an abusive home, or by a single parent who worked 3 jobs to make ends meet, so she shows up at worship dressed inappropriately and doesn't speak to her husband or children the way I think she should. I wonder if He wishes that I would come alongside her and love her instead of judge, and show her a better way... since no one ever has.

I wonder how He feels about us getting along? I'm pretty sure He told us:

"I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

John 13:34,35

P.S. The littles are not my adorable doodlebugs. But they appear to be getting along. The bigs are mine on the first day of school. This is how we do "first day" pics.

As For Me, I Will Have Hope

I just have a moment to check in here. I am on my way out of town -- I am FIRED UP excited!

I am headed to Houston to celebrate with a group of ladies -- a year's worth of scripture memory work! The Siesta Scripture Memory Team Celebration is this weekend and I leave in a few short hours and, of course, have a bajillion things to do before I leave (and, guarantee, I WILL forget to pack something important). (If you aren't familiar with Beth Moore's blog and you don't understand what a siesta has to do with scripture -- follow the link and do some reading... it's a long story).

I didn't think I really wanted to go. But I had committed to go with someone. Our budget is very tight (we've recently had a big "destination celebration," you know...) and I'm kind of sloggy... just all of it. However, now that it's here, I am SO excited to go.

One of the HUGE blessings that I am looking forward to: I get to meet a dear friend! I don't mean meet up with -- I mean meet for the first time! Allow me to 'splain. YEARS ago Leigh and I started reading each other's blogs. Then Facebook came along. And Twitter. And she and I both do all of that and keep up with each other there. We are prayer warriors for each other, and laugh at each other. She is a fired up passionate warrior for the Lord. And, guess what?? She will be in Houston this weekend! I finally get to meet my dear friend! It is already the highlight of the weekend for me! :-)

Before I go I wanted to share with you the word the Lord is whispering to me for 2012.

Picture via bles-id blog

Through the last month of 2011 I came to realize what a powerful force 'hope' is. There are many stories of where just a tiny drop of hope came into my day to remind me that God hears, God sees -- and how that tiny drop of hope can truly lift your spirits and make you feel physically better.

Hope. The opposite of despair.

 Then, as I came across Jeremiah 29:11, for probably the gazillionth time, I was struck for perhaps the first time by the word "hope."

This sign can be purchased in WallBling etsy shop

 We look to that verse frequently to be reminded that when our life is spinning, seemingly out of control, God knew it would go this way. And He is in it. And I believe that. (GREAT post about why it's a bad idea to throw this verse at other people whose life is out of control, though).

I was struck that God not only wants to give me a future -- he wants to give me hope, too! He knows what a powerful force hope is, and wants me to have that feeling -- the feeling that is the opposite of despair. The lightness of hoping that something better is to come.

Perhaps I've taken that completely out of context. Perhaps a more scholarly person would tell me I have that verse all wrong. But for now, I have hope. And Psalm 130:5 tells me that's what His word shall provide.

Uploaded by Sue Dudley to Pinterest

Finding Me

"Who Am I? Whooo Ammm Iii? I... am a walrus."
  (extra credit for naming the movie AND character)

As I like to, on occasion, vomit the contents of my brain onto the contents of my blog (I know. You LOVE my word pictures). You are left with way too much of the contents of my brain splattered about your shoes and pants and what not.  Occasionally you either sympathize with me or help me find clarity or just nod in agreement. I don't even know which this calls for, but I just want to toss out what is consuming my thoughts rolling around my brain these days.

And, like usual, it's basically me. Yes, I am consuming my own head these days. So... hope you didn't spill your popcorn from the suspense.

I seem to be doing more navel-gazing/ daily wandering wondering "Who Am I?" Aren't I a grown woman? Aren't I supposed to know this by now?

I think it has surprised me that geographically moving has so displaced the balance of who I believe myself to be and, honestly, the value that I am on this planet. I am seeking and seeking me -- yet in my heart I know I am seeking in the wrong places.

Financially, my family needs me to have a job. As I look at my resume' and what I look like "on paper"...? Let's just kindly say that it can't possibly reflect the whole sum of who I am, thank goodness, because I don't amount to much (though I do have one VERY costly college degree I'm not using. Thank you, mom and dad!) Logically I KNOW that isn't the sum of who I am, but after rejection after rejection, it's hard not to claim just a little piece of that.

Then there is a title that I truly dearly love as "Mom." Not everyone is blessed or gifted to be a mom, not everyone wants to be a mom, yet the Lord entrusted two of His amazing souls to me and I am thankful every day. However -- being "mom" to teenagers is about as rewarding as being "mom" to newborns, and about as equally sleep depriving. I won't continue my lament, but for as much as I love this role, nothing is telling me that I have excelled or been successful at it overall. It's a work in progress that most days feels like walking through quick sand. And on a bad day, there are leeches. Yelling about the quality (or lack) of the food offerings.

And I wrestle with this writing ministry. I long to make it a ministry, a ministry that matters, that touches lives, and that encourages others. But a)I am as lost as a goose in how to do that and b) did I mention that our family kind of needs some dollars flowing into the homestead so that the teenagers/ leeches will quit shouting about the paltry offerings of food? Yet the Lord provides everything that we need.

I admit that I am not hearing the Lord's leading clearly on this. And I can tell you clearly why: I am running so fast through the forest of "Who am I?/ What am I supposed to be doing?" that I cannot hear the still, small whisper that is telling me to "be still and know" through this season. I don't WANT to be still. I WANT to KNOW NOW.

I am being a toddler having a little bit of a tantrum, only it doesn't look like a tantrum, it looks like that kid calling his mom's name again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again..... only he has turned away, watching TV or picking his nose and doesn't even realize that his mother is giving the demanding toddler her full attention.

Here is what I KNOW, and where I know I need to start every day: 

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

 That should be the very foundation of who I am, what I know, and how I launch my day. I should follow by time on my knees, searching for and listening for those good works that are prepared for me. Yet I wander. 


And that, friends, is where I am today. A little bit wandering.


Always love hearing from you. Can you relate? Kick me in the rear? Tell me to take a hike? What do you got for me?

Don't Quit

originally published at Word for Today

I am a wanna-be runner. I will train and run and begin to almost feel like a runner, and life, illness, or an injury will set me back. But for whatever reason, I am determined. I will not release the thought of being a runner, so it’s back on the track... so to speak. At least it’s back to the training plan.

Lately it has been a little easier to get back to my plan as I have a very patient running partner. She is consistently ready for me to get back to it, yet understands my need for a break when illness or injury call for it. She won’t let me get away with “I’m just not feeling it today...” because she knows what my ultimate goal is: to be a runner, with maybe a distance race completed eventually. 

Hebrews calls me to the same single-minded dedication to the hope I have: “Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:19-24)

Yes, He who promised is faithful, but there are days that I might lose my grip on my hope. These verses give me two remedies for that. First, “draw near to God with a sincere heart.” That is truly some of the best news in the New Testament -- that we don’t have to take our petitions to God through a priest. These scriptures remind us that Christ gave us the confidence to enter the Most Holy Place, cleansed by his very blood. Nothing can prevent us from doing that on a daily, even hourly, basis.

Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do that, though. When the unemployment seems to drag on longer than I ever dreamed, or the news from the doctor wasn’t what I hoped it would be, when family news is disappointing or hurtful, sometimes my heart is too broken, too fragile, or too wounded to approach the throne of grace.

That’s when I look to my running partner... or those that “spur me on toward love and good deeds.” God placed us here to be in community so that we may do just that. When I have the strength and energy, it is my time to spur others on toward love and good deeds. Other times, I let those that run this race with me encourage me to simply put one foot in front of the other, to approach the throne of grace.

Let’s run victoriously today.

Choosing to Be Chosen

The youth minister for our church in Abilene chooses a theme every summer. The theme is the focus of the mission trips, then the camp later in the summer. One of the reasons I won't refer to him as "my kids' former youth minister" is that a) he will always minister to all of us b) the themes always speak to me -- year 'round if I will let them. He is my minister, too -- and a friend that I always enjoy challenging spiritually and allow him to challenge me spiritually.

The theme this summer is "Chosen (and Choosing) to Be" (and I think I'm taking liberties with parentheses, etc., but it's my blog so it's my theme today).

This is based on one of my favorite verses: 1 Peter 2:9:"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

There are many parts of that to pull out and dissect that I love and that bless me, but the main point that Ricky told us on the mission trip again and again is that a) we are a chosen people, chosen by God to take Him into the world (be "his wonderful light"), be His ambassadors and b) we must, in turn, CHOOSE to put on that royal title and mantle.

We can choose to accept Christ as our Savior. Once we have done that, we can get up on a daily basis and choose our actions. We can choose to read His word. Choose to take up His cross on a daily basis. We get to CHOOSE. We have already been chosen... but what will we choose?

Last week (while the air was out in my house) I had an annoying day. Of course, when you start with an 85* house, it stands little chance of being otherwise. But I had to go into a retail establishment where I knew I would need patience and kindness. Not only did I want to reflect Christ in my actions -- I wanted them to help me out and I knew that going in as annoyed as I was at life would not help my cause. So, yes, I had a little bit of ulterior motive. But I knew I could choose.

Sleep-deprived and hot, I had little patience and kindness on my own, so I purposely pulled out my shirt from the mission trip to wear: I wanted to remind myself that I was chosen -- and I wanted to choose to act like royalty.

It's a daily decision, this royalty business. I get immensely frustrated with people who "show their tail" when it will reflect poorly on a group that I am affiliated with -- but how often does my impatience, selfishness, and judgmental heart reflect poorly on the God I worship?

This thought continues to roll around in my head... that I have been chosen, so I can choose to be. Today... then again tomorrow.

*************************************************************************************

COMPLETE side note/ public service announcement for you if you are reading this on the day I write it:
Get your free Slurpee at 7-11 today!! And... choose to act like royalty when you do! :-) Enjoy!

How-To on Something Overly Simple: Bible Study

I wanted to share how I do my morning Bible Study when I'm not already in a Bible study (and sometimes when I am). You may already have your way, and that's awesome.

This is just one of those things that always was elusive to me. People would talk about their "quiet time" and "being with the Lord" and I needed someone to sit down and tell me: could you explain EXACTLY what you do when you have "quiet time"? Y'all, I'm a recipe person. Give me the recipe!

I actually had someone laugh at me when I mentioned I thought this would be a good topic to speak (briefly) on or write about -- but I stand by my thoughts. I don't think we decide to follow Jesus and automatically know how to spend time with him effectively. And, if you did know, then don't tell me. Let me think it's not just me..
So. My morning quiet time. For starters, I always like to be going through the entire Bible. Some people mention that they like to sometimes slow down and meditate on one or two passages or books a year. I, personally, don't feel like I am familiar enough with all of the Bible to go quite that slowly yet. However, I don't feel it necessary to go through the Bible in a year (guilt!) so I am using THIS awesome plan. (You HAVE to click over -- just to see the title!)

So, I'll do my reading (and/ or Bible study) then write in my prayer journal. My prayer journal is NEVER fancy. It is a 5"x8" 3-subject notebook that I buy in the school supply section of my local grocery store. Because it's mine, sometimes I'll pay a few extra bucks and get the bright colors.

In my prayer journal I start by responding to what I read. This is the main thing I wanted to share with you today. It is 2 sentences long, and has changed my Bible reading/ Bible study time more profoundly than anything else I can remember doing.

I put the date at the top (because I have a calendar brain and like to be able to look back at such things), then I write the passage that I read or the portion of the Bible study that I did. Then, I simply write: "God:____________________" and I write something that God does or did according to what I read. Then on the next line I write: "I:____________________" and write my response to what I read about God.

For instance, on February 15 of this year I evidently read Joshua 11-14. There are MANY things (battles) contained within those chapters, and some of it is horrifically boring (the division of land described by tree and creek and how each tribe received it). I chose just one thing I got out of that passage. It was from the very end of it.

I wrote:
"God keeps his promises, sometimes VERY slowly.
I need PATIENCE as the Lord works."

I wrote patience like that because it is one of my 4 words for the year -- I still pray over those every day.

Research shows that unless you do something to process what you hear or read within 45 seconds, it leaves your brain. This is my way of snagging what I've read, prayerfully hearing what the Lord wants me to absorb from what I've read, and applying it to myself. Of course, if a scripture stops me cold while I'm reading, I do the usual underlining, highlighting, and writing of that, as well.

Then I write out my prayer, being as specific as I have time for. I have my daily pleas and request on that page. At the back of my notebook I put things that will be ongoing requests: SELL THIS HOUSE, for example, someone with a chronic illness. It is also where I write the date of someone who passes away, remembering to pray for the family, and thinking to send them a card and/or Facebook message/ email when the anniversary of the death approaches.

That is how I do my Bible study/ prayer time. I would love to hear from you. What do you do that helps you absorb the Word? What are you working on now? Any tips or tricks?

Our God is (Always) an Awesome God

Just a thought rolling around my head these days.

I've been around and in proximity and rejoiced with several people recently who, when blessings rained upon them and God moved mightily in their lives, proclaimed, "Oh! Our God is an awesome God!"

Do not think for one moment that I am going to dispute that statement or criticize the praise of another. No, but I just began to think about how rarely you hear that phrase when life isn't going so swimmingly for a believer. Yet our God is always awesome. More than anything, I began examining my own life: will I declare "in good times and bad, you are on your throne, you are God alone" as the song goes? AND that He is awesome? May it be so!

If, for some reason, you are new to my blog and/ or you haven't exactly kept track let me clue you in. In the last 10 months, my family has gone through 6 months of unemployment and now 4 months of my husband working 200 miles away while 2 teens and I are here trying to sell the house and maintain some semblance of normalcy (cue maniacal laughter). At this point in the school year, we will definitely stay another 3 months, for a total of 7 months of dual-city living for my husband, single parent living for me.

Financially, it is not easy to go from unemployment to maintaining 1.5 households. Emotionally, the uncertainty of 2 weeks down the road being an ever-moving target is exhausting, as well as the physical toll the stress takes on each of us.

The above isn't to grinch but to catch you up and to tell you that included in all of that: Our God is an amazingly awesome God. I could start to list out every blessing in this situation, but it would take me all day. Truly, they are immeasurable. Let me start by saying that the first blessing is that I'm not in charge. I have already seen that my unanswered prayers of us moving at Christmas has blessed my children in their activities and relationships.

Let me tell you the most amazing way that our God is an awesome God: the fact that I have one ounce of my sanity left. The real, authentic, honest-to-goodness Sarah has already had a full-body, all-out tantrum and left the building emotionally because this is all too hard and I just can't and won't do this and you people are ON YOUR OWN, DO YOU HEAR ME????

But God.

God drew me in, strengthened me, and promised me:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)

And, oh, I am weak. But our God is an awesome God.

If this is the hardest road I will ever walk, I realize this will be an easy life. Someone please remind me on the difficult days -- at a hospital bedside, after hearing bad news at the doctor's, when my own children are struggling and there is nothing I can do -- that our God is still an awesome God.

God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle...

I (texted) checked in with a friend going through a rough patch this week. Her husband has been struggling with his health and had a minor surgery but ended up back in the hospital this week. She is exhausted, as you can imagine. At one point, via text, she wrote, "I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I think enough is enough." She, of course, included a smiley to let me know that she is fully submitting to the Lord's will and in it for the long haul.

Being a text conversation, I simply let her know she could call on me for anything they needed and I was praying, but I have pondered that oft-used phrase all week long: "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." I have thought it and said it myself.

Several years ago, however, I read a blog that gave me an entirely different perspective on it. And, as is the tragedy with blogs, I have no idea where I saw it, so I can't credit this person or even send you to her and we are all grieving that fact because she said this point far more eloquently than I will.

She had an ill child. Like ... potentially fatally ill. It was scary and she used this same phrase to a pastor that came to minister to her: "I know God doesn't give me more than I can bear, but I just don't think I can do this..."

The pastor encouraged her to look up the scripture that phrase is taken from: 1 Corinthians 10:13. It isn't talking about life struggle situations at all. It's talking about temptation. Perhaps we are using it in the wrong context:

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. " 1 Corinthians 10:13

The blogger went on to say (probably in my paraphrase), "God gives us situations all the time that we can't handle. We are to go to Him with them and let him bear them for us."

That has stuck with me through the years. It isn't always the time to correct someone's theology about the matter, but I want to encourage you to consider the point. You may be carrying something that you think you can't handle. Guess what? God may not intend for you to be carrying it alone.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 (emphasis mine)

See? He promises us that we will have trouble. But he also reminds us that he is bigger than all of it. Oh, I am so grateful. It's only the world.

Matthew 19:26

Mark 10:27 and

Luke 1:37

all have a variation on the theme, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (the one in Luke is spoken by the angel Gabriel so I think it's pretty cool!) Those are words I cling to when I am in the pit of time that I see no end in sight or way to break free. Luke 1:37, "For nothing is impossible with God." Nothing.

Whatever road you are walking today, God may have allowed you to have way more than you can handle alone. But NOTHING is impossible with God. Truth. And GLORY!

Thank Goodness It's FRIDAY!!

I just deleted an entire venting of my week. Suffice it to say: it's been crazy and not what I planned.

The Lord reminded me again and again of Proverbs 19:21: "Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

I don't have a great verse for stewardship of our body, but He also reminded me that I can't spend 3 days treating my body horribly (not stopping to eat/ fuel up, not enough sleep or exercise or water) and not pay for it on the 4th day: migraine. Blah. I do not like those, Sam I Am. But I am VERY thankful for medications.

So, thankful things of this week: Got to (safely) travel to Ashley's last basketball game about 3 hours away. It was a GREAT game and she played SO well! So very fun. Love to watch her play. Riley, who has felt crummy all week -- we finally got him on some meds for his sinus infection -- rode with me though and he is always so fun to be around. Love that guy.

Also had some other happies in the week: forced fun with another mom who I thoroughly enjoy. We co-volunteered to sell tickets to a dance. A few other things were fun, a few more were not fun, but it is almost over.

Oh... just typical of my week: I tried to schedule my Valentine's post to post, you know, ON Valentine's day. Yeah... there it went. Yesterday. Big as life. Oh, well. Read it again on Valentine's Day. My gift to you.

After Valentine's day I will tell you about my lovely and nice package that I DID in fact manage to get off to Troy... that included a major brain fail in it. It is so stinkin' typical of me it is sad, but it also is going to cause me to quit laughing at our friend who iced the potholder into the layer cake. Yeah, it's about on that level.

Satan tries to convince me that not getting to my 'to-do' list makes me worth less. Yet I know that "I am more than a conqueror through Him who loved me" according to Romans 8:37 And this week, if the kids and the dog and I are all still breathing and the house is still standing by 6 p.m. today, I am claiming VICTORY! What about you?

Have a happy weekend!

Nothin' But Snow...

I would love to have something fascinating and worthwhile to say, but we have been snowed in. I can tell you how many episodes of "The Office" are on Netflix streaming. I can tell you how cold my bedroom -- with the north-facing wall-o-glass -- gets when I have to leave the space heater in the laundry room to thaw the pipes there (actually, I don't have a specific number... let's just go with "real cold"). I can tell you the time in the afternoon that my body decides it needs to nap on a snow day. But things of value? I got nothin'.*Pic info below

This is a rare Texas occurrence and I don't mind it one bit. Of course Monday was your typical end-of-January 70*, as I mentioned. Then came the rain, then the sleet, then the plummeting temperatures, then the snow. JUST as the cooler weather was coming in Monday afternoon I was leaving the vets office. I will spare you the details, but I became aware that my dog was quite ill on Monday.

Thankfully, it was something that a few pills and a special diet for a few days will take care of. That has been the most exciting and productive thing I have done all week: cook my dog some rice and, later, after a run to the store, some pumpkin. Yes, he recommended pumpkin for the fiber. Can you believe? For the record? She prefers the pumpkin to the rice, but isn't crazy about either. Tomorrow she gets to eat real food.

So. For 3 solid days. The house. Me. Two children. Tomorrow school has already been canceled. My facebook posts indicate that some of my neighbors are hearing voices inside their head that sound like Jack Nicholson in "The Shining," and may eat their own young before the thaw on Saturday. All of us have realized we are a little too used to being able to run to the grocery store every 48 hours (yes, I skated on the ice for the milk and the dog's pumpkin... AND some sweetened condensed milk for snow ice cream! :-)

But I have learned -- among the many other ponderous things such as how messy it is when a dog eats pumpkin out of a bowl -- that food supplies aside, I am perfectly fine being inside the four walls of this house. Granted, my children are at an easily (read: electronically) entertained age, and aren't doing too many handstands against the walls (though I refuse to lie and say that none have been attempted).

But with you lovely people reading and commenting on my blog, and catching up with some folks on facebook and via text... my "cabin fever" limit is much much higher (lower? different?) than most folks.

Hands down, the crummiest part of this WHOLE deal: Troy's work was also closed all 4 days. Of course we had no way of knowing that at the beginning of the week, and even yesterday he was supposed to go in, then slid into work on ice, got his phone out in the parking garage and got his email that work was closed. Blah! So... it would have been nice to have him home, but more than anything, I'm still praying for him to get back here safe. Not sure when he's going to attempt that. Ugh.

The first day of snow, I saw this on another friend's status. So true, so beautiful:

“He directs the snow to fall on the earth
and tells the rain to pour down.
Then everyone stops working
so they can watch his power."
Job 37:6,7

Hope you are each warm and safe!
*We really didn't play in the snow, so I totally stole this pic from AP:
"Ilona Chisholm, 13 months, helps her mom shovel snow out of their driveway using a rake in Cohassett, Mass., Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2011. (AP Photo/Stephan Savoia)

Manna for This Day

Good griefus! I am very consistent in my inconsistent blogging, no?

I have wanted to stop here a bazillion times and tell you stuff, but I just haven't stopped long enough to tell you.

More than anything, I would think my theme for right now is: hills and valleys. (I was going to say "roller coaster" but a) it's been done and b) there are no fun loop-de-loops -yet- just the ups and downs).

Last week the Lord gave me an AMAZING week with Him: hearing from Him, drawing so near to Him, just precious time with Him. And I wanted to stop and tell you about that. But I didn't.

So... of course, this week, Satan took note. Ugh. Ready for the planet to be rid of him! Lots of discouragement... And a headache that has lingered all week. Just little stuff that adds up to annoying. And, yesterday, I claimed it: I was tired of it. Tired of living away from Troy. Tired of trying to be the big girl. Tired of waiting for an answer. Tired.

Of course, there is part of my problem, honestly -- I'm not sleeping enough. Honestly. That's a whole other story. Oh, I CAN sleep when Troy's gone, I just don't go to bed on time.

So, I asked God to send me some encouragement. I reached out to some people that I knew would encourage me, as well. And in little sprinkles of blessings, God provided exactly what I needed just for yesterday. I wish I could tell you that my house sold yesterday and God took care of it THAT way. Um... no. Because part of my amazing week with him last week was learning how much there is to learn in the waiting. But he did send me the encouragement I needed just for the day. Manna to make it through.

And today is a new day. The sun is on its way up now. I still have a headache, for which I am most annoyed (please, winter, cut me some SLACK!) but I am trusting the Lord for the Manna to get through this day, as well.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22,23

Keepin' It Real...

As I've mentioned a bazillion times here, our house is on the market. Sunday, we had an Open House. So, I spent all week getting our house clean and spotless so that we could breeze out the door no problem on Sunday afternoon.

Uh, no.

I did a few things to declutter. I did put the Christmas tree away. What more do you want?

Ashley had a sleepover on Friday night for her birthday (post about how OLD I feel to have a 15 year old to come shortly) so by Saturday morning we were covered in blankets and pizza boxes, as well as the clutter from the previous week.

I decided to wander around the house at 5 p.m. Saturday evening to show you what my house looked like 20 hours before an Open House (this also explains why I wasn't in class Sunday morning, why I was backing out of my driveway 10 min. before it started, and why I noticed puppy footprints that should have been mopped up after the open house):

The kitchen area, where Troy has already thrown away the 4 pizza boxes, but there is still a box on the floor that contains a Christmas gift (to me), the kitchen desk has several Christmas gifts (to me) covering it, there are tennis shoes (not mine) next to Stickers' cage, who, for some reason, has 2 open bags of food. You can't see Duchess' nose prints on the French doors from here.

I should have turned on the light in the dining room for you to get a better view of the clutter. Troy already (are you noticing that all of the clutter is mine and Troy is doing all of the picking up?) picked up the newspaper and breakfast dishes, but the Sonic cup and all manner of my running gear (headband, headphones, gloves, etc.) are on the table. Beyond that on a bench in the corner is a box of Christmas decorations that still need to be put away. Good thing I only got out one box of Christmas decorations!
The bedroom. Notice there is a child in the unmade bed. I actually make my bed religiously during the week, but on the weekends, all bets are off. Troy's suitcase that he lives out of ALL THE TIME is there under the window. In front of it are my clothes that I stepped out of to change to go running, and some PJ's from the morning.
This is my favorite picture. Here is Duchess, knowing that some great calamity is going to befall her when a cleaning frenzy takes place -- either she's going to be left alone here for a very long time (we leave town), or she's going to be drug in the car to wait out an open house. She's not having it at this point.
If you would like to see pictures of my pristine house, you are welcome to view our real estate website. But where's the fun in pristine? Honestly...

You know, as I post this it occurs to me that I don't mind showing you this junk for many reasons. One... it really isn't THAT bad. Okay, the bedroom is pretty bad, but it has been MUCH worse. Trust me. Also, I know that we ALL let our house go on occasion, usually on the weekend.

I have really been convicted lately of my double speak. I SAY that I am "all about authenticity" but there are certain things I won't confess here. Of course, it's a difficult balance because I do have a family to protect and honor, as well (but I sure didn't mind showing their dirty house).

What I won't let you peek into is my pride, or my greed, or my judgmental heart. I don't openly talk about that. Baby steps, baby steps.

Hoping you will be kind when I find the courage...

James 5:16:
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

Time With Jesus

Jana mentioned one of her resolutions was to listen more to what God has for her. In her wise words, "I'm so busy gabbing my head off to Him (or ignoring Him entirely) that I have no idea what He has to say to me or what He wants me to do."

That made me think of this video that never fails to step on my toes AND make me laugh.


Shortly before Christmas I read a very powerful book, "The Power of a Whisper: Hearing God, Having the Guts to Respond" by Bill Hybels, founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. (at the time, it was a free Kindle download. Sadly, it isn't anymore -- still worth a read!)

God is still speaking to each of his children today. I am finding that my untrained ear still isn't sure what is His whisper and what is my brain. That requires more prayer and practice. But He speaks through His word, through other children, and through my own thoughts. Read the book. Great read.

Jeremiah 33:3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

For Nothing Is Impossible

As you might imagine, I'm a little single-minded these days, so this 'choose one thought' blog idea may not work out too well. They may seem to all center around the same theme for a while. I will try to vary the idea a bit throughout the week. But today, the idea centers around the same thing I spoke about last time: my house hasn't sold.

I have become very specific in my prayers with the Lord. And bold. My prayer is not that my house will sell "soon" or "quickly". You see, scripture tells me that a day with the Lord is like a thousand years. So, I am being very specific in telling the Lord every time I pray that I would please like my house to sell THIS MONTH. Sure, it's a long shot. Sure it's the holidays. Sure it's the worst economy ever. But He is God and I will boldly ask.

Yesterday, through a series of events that I'll share later God led me to read Luke 1. And in Luke 1, I have a verse highlighted and underlined.

v. 37: "For nothing is impossible with God."

Now, I realize there are 2 ways to take this. Obviously, I could hear it that selling my home this month is not impossible with God. OR me surviving it NOT selling this month is not impossible with God. But God and I (and all of you) know which way I want that to go!

That makes me think of Evan Almighty when God had told Evan there would be a flood on Sept. whatever. And on Sept. whatever Evan is standing there ON HIS ARK that he built and there is nary a cloud in the sky.

Evan's wife says, "Maybe... maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. Maybe He meant a flood of knowledge, or emotion, or awareness."
Evan replies, "Oh, if that's true, I am going to be so ticked."

Yeah. Please Lord.

So we wait, secure in the knowledge that nothing is impossible with God.

And tonight, while we wait, to reframe our minds, the kids and I will be volunteering with a local ministry to inner city children to deliver blankets, food, and gifts for the season. And we will then return to our warm home, that we still own, and be very grateful that we have it and for all that the Lord has given us.

"For nothing is impossible with God."

Just a Thought

Julie inspired my to dip my toe back into blogging ever so lightly.

If you don't want to clicky-click ALLLL the way over to Julie's spot, here is what she says:

"For some reason I find myself flush with ideas as I go about my day that I think would make most interesting blog topics. However, when I finally sit down at the computer they have flown from my mind, like birds seeking warmer places for winter...

It's not that I can't remember anything about my day, it's just that the writing impetus has gone, gone away...

So today I decided that surely for the next few days I could just write one sentence. Or better put, just one thought."

So I shall try to give you just one thought on my blog, but my dream last night was a foreshadowing of trying to catch that thought. I was trying to help a toddler out of water that was up to the top of her head. Her mother had no idea that the water was too deep for her and had left her. For some reason, I was hovering over the water. Let's not analyze, shall we. I would get within arm's reach of the toddler, and she would walk in a circle, trying to figure out how to get out of the water. This went on to a comedic level. I was frantically reaching for this toddler walking in circles in water. No, I never got her. The alarm went off.

Yes, my thoughts to capture are that elusive. Julie's one was about her Christmas lights that she is thankful for. We don't have any up right now. We don't have any Christmas out. My hope was that our house would at this point be "under contract" and we would be frantically packing, buying a new home, etc. Instead we are waiting on God's perfect timing to bring a buyer to our home.

And, if I had to give you one thought, it would be that, since that is the question I get most frequently, "How's the sale of your house going?" And my response is, "About like you would expect during the holidays of the worst economy of my lifetime..."

Most days I am at peace, but the past two nights I have slept like a baby. Meaning -- in 2 hour increments. And in my 2 hour increments, I'm evidently dreaming of near-drownings of toddlers. I'm not well rested which means I'm not in a super great frame of mind.

At one point when I was at peace, God brought to mind a verse I am claiming for our family for 2011. I know that at this point in time, God is taking us to a new town to do something... awesome for Him. I don't know what, but the hard part is waiting to get started.

Stirman family verse for 2011:
Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you." Joshua 3:5

Let's do this thing!

Is There A Reason For This?

Last night at small group, someone asked about difficult life situations, mentioning specifically our current unsettled time of unemployment. The man who asked is also in an uncertain time and said that he is trying to figure out the meaning behind it... is there a reason for his struggle?

I, of course, had a little mini-sermon in reply. (If you know me at all this will not surprise you). I think it even had three points, the way a scriptural sermon should.

Let me say that I, to this point, have lived an amazingly blessed life, and would never deem to compare my time of uncertainty to whatever hardship you may be in the midst of. But my thoughts on whether or not a current trial has meaning were this:

a) I am BEYOND hard-headed (again, if you know me at all this will not surprise you). Whether I believe my current situation to be from Satan or discipline from the Lord (I have been in circumstances where it was CLEAR to see which was which, or times like now, I have no idea), I will dig in my heels and say, "I'm in this thing, Lord!" I jokingly said I have been known to be like Captain Dan in Forrest Gump -- remember when he got MAD at God and crawled up on the mast, screaming at the Lord, saying, "Is that the best you've got???" Yeah... I've been through times like that. My determination (nice way to say "hard head"), as well as my own life testimony of God's faithfulness through such times, is what keeps me walking toward the Lord when times get tough.

b) The only reason I will ever claim for why something may have happened in my life I find in John 9:1-3:

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. (emphasis mine)

I gave up a LONG time ago trying to figure out why things have happened in my life -- I have learned that trials may not be for me. They may be for Troy, or for my kids, even for my next door neighbor, or the little boy who lives down the lane. I will never know. But I know that the work of God may always be displayed in my life by the way I walk through the trials, if I will surrender my will to the Spirit during those times. If I miss letting the work of God be displayed in my life, I have missed the only reason FOR SURE that I know of for that trial being in my life. May I not miss it.

c) A story (summarized that I read from a Chicken Soup for the Soul... I think...): a guy is watching his kid's little cocoon on a stick in the jar. There is violent shaking, blood drops... awful struggle. He watches the struggle for a while and thinks he'll help the little butterfly. He takes a pen knife and makes a tiny slit in cocoon. The wings finally emerge from the slit in the cocoon, and the butterfly walks around on the stick for the rest of the afternoon, but never takes flight.

Guy calls his scientist friend and asks why the butterfly isn't going to fly. When scientist-dude hears the whole story, he replies, "Oh... that's the problem. It is in the struggle to get out of the cocoon that the wings become strong enough to fly."

Again... I will never know why I go through some of the things that I do, but each trial allows my wings opportunity to grow stronger so that I can fly higher with each trial, and you can bet that I will be doing all that I can that the work of God may be displayed in my life.

Is it important for you to have reason in your struggle? How do you get through them?

Love Where You Are

Do you know how you can tell that it is mission trip season?

Yes, I am making appearances in Wal-Mart again. This morning, I woke up to rain on my skylights. So I drug myself out of bed and put on my rainboots and happy face and waited for Troy to get home from prayer group. Off we went to the land of (theoretical) lower prices.

We gathered band-aids and water balloons and icing and sugar cookies and Dixie Cups and all manner of various sundry items needed to feed teens and have a VBS for little ones when we travel.

At one point, I put on Facebook that I seemed to have lost my husband in the Wal-Marts on a rainy mornin'... I was the beginning of a bad country song.

We finally got ready to check out but had to wait for the guy with the money. Some story about helping people or maybe the soccer game was really exciting... I dunno, it took a while.

If nothing else, there is plenty-o-people watching to be done in a Wal-Mart, ya know? So we people watched and were entertained, but one guy really caught my attention. He was a Wal-Mart employee. He was cleaning the floors. He had a little cart full of tools -- broom, dust pan, mop, and the most clever contraption EVER!

He stopped to get a scuff mark up. He reached in his cart, gave it a squirt with a squirt bottle. Put the squirt bottle back. Reached in the cart again, drug out a broom handle that had a tennis ball stuck on it and used the tennis ball to scrub the scuff mark. It worked! Drug back out the squirt bottle, squirt! Then mopped heartily and happily.

I'm not kidding about the happily part. Imagine if your job were to clean the floors at Wal-Mart. How would you approach that? This guy was humming LOUDLY. He was so darn happy to have his floor cleaning job. What a great lesson in life. It was a rainy morning. All of us were going to be creating more work for him. Maybe he was extra happy to be using that tennis ball rig of his. Whatever the case, he was happy as he could be.

I'll try to remember that guy next week when I'm on my mission trip scraping paint, standing in mud, or better yet, standing in line at Wal-Mart again.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Colossians 3:23, 24

Finally Giving Daisy Chain Away!

Well, yesterday got completely away from me. I had a job interview -- my 2nd with that organization. It went okay, I guess. Aren't job interviews weird? I met with more people and that was good. I got, "Thank you. We'll be in touch." Whatever that means.

If I get the job (part-time) I'll tell you all about what it will be. If I don't, there isn't much point in bringing it up. Keeping a little quiet about the organization, hoping not to lose a job before I get it, you know?

So I am finally giving away my book. The suspense has been painful, I'm sure! :-)

Here is my name-drawer, showing you how grueling the task was (please ignore the Santas on top of the box of Christmas ornaments. We most certainly do NOT have Santas and Christmas ornaments out on January 13th):

Here is my bucket of names, that looks suspiciously like this bucket of names (it's a new picture, I promise, it just looks identical).

And finally, here is my name-drawer, also modeling the chosen name: (don't worry, Donna, I won't send you the germ-filled name with the book).

Congratulations to Donna!

If you didn't win THIS TIME-- never fear! I have more book give-aways coming. Oh, P.S. if you live in my town, you are welcome to borrow my copy of "Daisy Chain"!

In my Bible reading I am to Leviticus, which is NOT for the weak-stomached. Blech. I read through it praying, "Lord, I KNOW you kept this in here for a reason, and may I learn from it, but EW!"

However, I did get tickled at this passage. If I were an Israelite, this would happen to my house:

The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “When you enter the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as your possession, and I put a spreading mildew in a house in that land, the owner of the house must go and tell the priest, ‘I have seen something that looks like mildew in my house.’ The priest is to order the house to be emptied before he goes in to examine the mildew, so that nothing in the house will be pronounced unclean. After this the priest is to go in and inspect the house. He is to examine the mildew on the walls, and if it has greenish or reddish depressions that appear to be deeper than the surface of the wall, the priest shall go out the doorway of the house and close it up for seven days. On the seventh day the priest shall return to inspect the house. If the mildew has spread on the walls, he is to order that the contaminated stones be torn out and thrown into an unclean place outside the town. He must have all the inside walls of the house scraped and the material that is scraped off dumped into an unclean place outside the town.

Then they are to take other stones to replace these and take new clay and plaster the house.
“If the mildew reappears in the house after the stones have been torn out and the house scraped and plastered, the priest is to go and examine it and, if the mildew has spread in the house, it is a destructive mildew; the house is unclean.

It must be torn down—its stones, timbers and all the plaster—and taken out of the town to an unclean place.
“Anyone who goes into the house while it is closed up will be unclean till evening.

Anyone who sleeps or eats in the house must wash his clothes. Leviticus 14:33-47

I offer this to support my case.

More book reviews, possible give-away at the end of this week! Happy Wednesday!

Give, and Give Abundantly

I have mentioned that I come from a family heritage of generous folk. I am thankful that was instilled in me and I have been able to see the blessing that comes in holding loosely to what God gives you.

I also will openly admit that I really like THINGS and struggle with wanting more things all the time, but I pray to frequently be called to mind that I am blessed beyond measure already and to "give as it has been given to me" (Luke 6:38).

If you are like me, end of year doesn't call to mind "have to give now to help out my taxes" -- end of year calls to mind (like every other end of month) "please let us make it a few more days until the paycheck comes in". But you MAY be thinking of places you would like to give MORE next year. If so, this is a great list of the 10 Most Fiscally Responsible Charities. Several of these hold a very special place in my heart.

Compassion International is a wonderful organization that changes children's lives worldwide. I am pleased to see that they are considered to be fiscally responsible. For the cost of 1 family's meal eating out per month, a child's life could be changed forever. Definitely worth looking into.

International Rescue Committee is an organization that places refugees in safe homes in a new country. I had an opportunity to interview our local office, and my heart really went out to the refugees who are starting completely over. Again, happy to hear that they are fiscally responsible since they do so much good.

World Vision also has opportunities to sponsor children, and does much more beyond that internationally. A great organization to donate to.

Of course, there are many local organizations that deserve your money and may be dearer to your heart. The important thing is to give and give generously!

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38

Drive-by Blogging

Ugh.

What a crummy day yesterday, and went to bed with a migraine as a souvenir. So, I woke up with the room spinning in circles and still feel a little dizzy -- yes, I always ACT a little dizzy, but I'm not usually actually dizzy.

I don't really have time for dizziness, of course. I finished an article this morning, after chopping one almost to the death yesterday after an editor requested that it be 25% shorter (y'all, that is like asking if I can be 25% shorter -- it is painful!). I've got laundry strewn hither and yon, both of the clean and dirty variety, about to leave for Meals on Wheels, need to recycle first, then... you get the idea.

Much happening.

But today my daddy is 360 miles away, having a spot on his lungs biopsied. We are praying for the best and would be honored if you would, as well. All other indicators (blood work, etc.) indicate that these (there are several) are non-cancerous, but it is, of course, unsettling to face. And it certainly puts laundry and article editing in perspective.

Before I hustle off to the next thing, I want to leave you with one thing I read this morning from John 15. If you remember, that is the chapter where Jesus is talking to his disciples right before he is to be crucified. He is basically reminding them to be faithful, saying over and over, "Remain in me." verse 16 says:

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit–fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

It blessed me SO much to be reminded that I was CHOSEN. Chosen and APPOINTED. And so are you. May you go and bear fruit today.