Good griefus! I am very consistent in my inconsistent blogging, no?
I have wanted to stop here a bazillion times and tell you stuff, but I just haven't stopped long enough to tell you.
More than anything, I would think my theme for right now is: hills and valleys. (I was going to say "roller coaster" but a) it's been done and b) there are no fun loop-de-loops -yet- just the ups and downs).
Last week the Lord gave me an AMAZING week with Him: hearing from Him, drawing so near to Him, just precious time with Him. And I wanted to stop and tell you about that. But I didn't.
So... of course, this week, Satan took note. Ugh. Ready for the planet to be rid of him! Lots of discouragement... And a headache that has lingered all week. Just little stuff that adds up to annoying. And, yesterday, I claimed it: I was tired of it. Tired of living away from Troy. Tired of trying to be the big girl. Tired of waiting for an answer. Tired.
Of course, there is part of my problem, honestly -- I'm not sleeping enough. Honestly. That's a whole other story. Oh, I CAN sleep when Troy's gone, I just don't go to bed on time.
So, I asked God to send me some encouragement. I reached out to some people that I knew would encourage me, as well. And in little sprinkles of blessings, God provided exactly what I needed just for yesterday. I wish I could tell you that my house sold yesterday and God took care of it THAT way. Um... no. Because part of my amazing week with him last week was learning how much there is to learn in the waiting. But he did send me the encouragement I needed just for the day. Manna to make it through.
And today is a new day. The sun is on its way up now. I still have a headache, for which I am most annoyed (please, winter, cut me some SLACK!) but I am trusting the Lord for the Manna to get through this day, as well.
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22,23
Thursday
Sunday
Good Things Out There
It's been a LONG time since I've done a "Good Things Out There" post... and this one will be brief.
My father has always been a big believer in learning people's names. I try to notice, but confess I'm not very religious about it. This article is a great reminder that learning someone's name not only makes that person feel good, but it can pay off for you, as well.
I have really come to enjoy reading Michael Hyatt's blog. He is the president of Thomas Nelson publishing (Christian books). He has excellent things to say about leadership, organization, productivity, and even parenting. I enjoyed this article: "44 Actions You Can Take Now to Boost Your Energy." None of them involve Hydroxy-Cut.
I thought this article entitled "The Two Sides of Responsibility" was an interesting look at obesity: political vs. personal problem. It was written by Michael Prager, author of "Fat Boy, Thin Man."
My father has always been a big believer in learning people's names. I try to notice, but confess I'm not very religious about it. This article is a great reminder that learning someone's name not only makes that person feel good, but it can pay off for you, as well.
I have really come to enjoy reading Michael Hyatt's blog. He is the president of Thomas Nelson publishing (Christian books). He has excellent things to say about leadership, organization, productivity, and even parenting. I enjoyed this article: "44 Actions You Can Take Now to Boost Your Energy." None of them involve Hydroxy-Cut.
I thought this article entitled "The Two Sides of Responsibility" was an interesting look at obesity: political vs. personal problem. It was written by Michael Prager, author of "Fat Boy, Thin Man."
(My brief "good things" post is getting longer and longer because I keep running across good stuff!)
I'm re-stealing/ linking this from Julie. And reciting it to myself. A lot. Capable people struggle with finding balance. Right?
This is an older post of Michael Hyatt's that I came across later in the week about modesty for our girls. Some excellent guidelines to be teaching them.
I had this video on Facebook a while back... I may have even posted it here. I like this guy's attitude: even if you don't know the words, go ahead and sing out. You will probably make someone smile:
I had this video on Facebook a while back... I may have even posted it here. I like this guy's attitude: even if you don't know the words, go ahead and sing out. You will probably make someone smile:
If you would like to add your 'Good Thing' button to your blog, copy the code into an 'HTML' box on your sidebar:
Wednesday
Keepin' It Real...
As I've mentioned a bazillion times here, our house is on the market. Sunday, we had an Open House. So, I spent all week getting our house clean and spotless so that we could breeze out the door no problem on Sunday afternoon.
Uh, no.
I did a few things to declutter. I did put the Christmas tree away. What more do you want?
Ashley had a sleepover on Friday night for her birthday (post about how OLD I feel to have a 15 year old to come shortly) so by Saturday morning we were covered in blankets and pizza boxes, as well as the clutter from the previous week.
I decided to wander around the house at 5 p.m. Saturday evening to show you what my house looked like 20 hours before an Open House (this also explains why I wasn't in class Sunday morning, why I was backing out of my driveway 10 min. before it started, and why I noticed puppy footprints that should have been mopped up after the open house):
The kitchen area, where Troy has already thrown away the 4 pizza boxes, but there is still a box on the floor that contains a Christmas gift (to me), the kitchen desk has several Christmas gifts (to me) covering it, there are tennis shoes (not mine) next to Stickers' cage, who, for some reason, has 2 open bags of food. You can't see Duchess' nose prints on the French doors from here.
I should have turned on the light in the dining room for you to get a better view of the clutter. Troy already (are you noticing that all of the clutter is mine and Troy is doing all of the picking up?) picked up the newspaper and breakfast dishes, but the Sonic cup and all manner of my running gear (headband, headphones, gloves, etc.) are on the table. Beyond that on a bench in the corner is a box of Christmas decorations that still need to be put away. Good thing I only got out one box of Christmas decorations!
The bedroom. Notice there is a child in the unmade bed. I actually make my bed religiously during the week, but on the weekends, all bets are off. Troy's suitcase that he lives out of ALL THE TIME is there under the window. In front of it are my clothes that I stepped out of to change to go running, and some PJ's from the morning.
This is my favorite picture. Here is Duchess, knowing that some great calamity is going to befall her when a cleaning frenzy takes place -- either she's going to be left alone here for a very long time (we leave town), or she's going to be drug in the car to wait out an open house. She's not having it at this point.
If you would like to see pictures of my pristine house, you are welcome to view our real estate website. But where's the fun in pristine? Honestly...You know, as I post this it occurs to me that I don't mind showing you this junk for many reasons. One... it really isn't THAT bad. Okay, the bedroom is pretty bad, but it has been MUCH worse. Trust me. Also, I know that we ALL let our house go on occasion, usually on the weekend.
I have really been convicted lately of my double speak. I SAY that I am "all about authenticity" but there are certain things I won't confess here. Of course, it's a difficult balance because I do have a family to protect and honor, as well (but I sure didn't mind showing their dirty house).
What I won't let you peek into is my pride, or my greed, or my judgmental heart. I don't openly talk about that. Baby steps, baby steps.
Hoping you will be kind when I find the courage...
James 5:16:
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
Tuesday
The Waiting Place
"And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!"
(excerpt from Dr. Seuss' "Oh, The Places You'll Go!")
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!"
(excerpt from Dr. Seuss' "Oh, The Places You'll Go!")
I'm considering how much of the last year of our lives we have spent in The Waiting Place. This Waiting Place (waiting for a house to sell) is a smidgen different than the last Waiting Place (of waiting for a job), which I presume will be just a little different than the next Waiting Place.
And I'll be honest, I initially RAGE against The Waiting Place. First I organize it: there is a plan for how we will wait and how long we will wait, and the activities we will do while we wait. God usually thumps my plan over at some point.
I have to send up a praise and tell you that God has finally brought me to the peace that surpasses human understanding in my current Waiting Place. That is NOT me at all, but the work of the Spirit in my life. Sarah wants it mapped out, squared away, over and DONE, but the Spirit has brought some amazing grace AND peace into my life and led me to be still and wait.
My prayer in this time is to "redeem the time" -- may God use it for His good. Let us not squander our time of waiting twiddling our thumbs or raging at the circumstances of an unsold house (yes, you heard plenty of that last month) or spending energy beating the bushes for a buyer that simply isn't here now. I will spend this time in prayer that my life may be His, praying that I may hear His nudge of how best to honor Him in time of waiting.
I pray much for sweet Troy, too, in his new job and new town that he may be at peace since I think he's definitely got the short end of this deal without the support system that the kids and I have here.
I don't know WHY we are here: it may be for me, it may be for Troy, or the kids, or the buyer of this house, or the seller of the next house. I simply don't know. I simply know that I want to use this time to His glory.
One thing that brought me to this place is a song. I play it almost every day -- at least once if not 3 or 4 times -- in the car as my prayer. I had forgotten about it, but someone posted it on Facebook. The first time I heard this was a little over a year ago at a funeral.
Remember my friend Dana? She lost her beloved husband to cancer way too soon. I think he was 37. She spoke very eloquently at his funeral, and said that this song had allowed her to get through, then she played "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller (originally in the movie "Fireproof"). Then she sat down. Through a crowd of people, I could see Dana in her seat.
With tears streaking her gorgeous porcelain skin, she lifted her face and hands heavenward, and praised and worshipped to this song. Dana, as all people in grief, are now in a forever waiting place -- waiting to see their loved one. Remembering that moment has given me new resolve. If she, my beautiful, stubborn, strong friend can lift her hands in praise at her husband's funeral, then I can by golly buck up and lift my hands in praise waiting for a house to sell.
While I'm waiting...
Sunday
Walking Through Unemployment
I came across this excellent post about how to mentally go through unemployment. It was her spouse that was unemployed, but when either of you are unemployed you are both walking that road, going through many of the same emotions and experiences.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
It made me walk back through our own unemployment road a little. I didn't blog much about it at the time, for many reasons. Mainly because I was working so hard to keep my own head above water mentally, I couldn't gather my thoughts and put them down anywhere. And partly because I knew if I did put them down anywhere, I would NOT want to look at them.
If you don't click and read that whole article, one thing rang especially true for me. Quoting:
"I found I was so distracted by the tornado of job searching that it was hard for me to be around others (even at church) whose futures seemed secure. At times we felt like we were wandering through a blizzard — we could see people enjoying the warmth of their fireplaces through their picture windows while our family was out in the workplace cold."
That is very true for me. I gravitated to a precious few people that had recently walked the unemployment road or who were a constant source of encouragement for me. To stare into the future and see... nothing ... isn't as frightening when you "know who holds your future" -- but it becomes very wearisome. Especially when two beautiful pair of blue eyes looked at you at least weekly and asked (with their eyes if not verbally), "Mom...? What's going to happen? Where will we be living? Can I stay at my school?" And you simply do not know.
We are so very thankful for Troy's new job. As hard as it was for him to lose a job, we know that God is in all of it. Troy is LOVING his new job, and we trust that God has many things for him to do there.
Even as difficult as it is to have him going back and forth, living out of a suitcase, not knowing when we will be living together again -- it STILL isn't as hard as having NO idea what the future holds. We know that EVENTUALLY we will live where he is working, and EVENTUALLY we will all live together again. God's peace that passes understanding has settled on this house.
If you are walking the road of unemployment, I have no words of comfort other than to tell you that God knows the path you are on and is leading you. Lean into His arms. If you know OF someone walking that road, I would encourage you to offer small, meaningful words of encouragement. I will tell you that the BEST encouragement I got was from a friend who would text me once or twice a week and either say: "Praying for you at this moment." or text me a scripture. How simple is that? It only required that I be thought about and a very small action taken .
That is when Romans 15:13 became my lifeline:
Thursday
Four Words
At the beginning of every year, I hear/ read on blogs some people say, "The Lord gave me my word for the year: xxxx" (no, no one actually uses xxxx. You know.) Anyway, some people spend a year focusing on 3 words.
Last week as 'words' kept cropping up on people's blogs and statuses (stati?) I started praying (remember, I'm going to hear from the Lord?):
"Lord do you have a word for me? I think I may need a word? What about a word? Aren't you going to give ME a word? Come ON already...!! A word!"
Surprisingly enough, the word: Patience ...
came to mind.
But so many other words came to mind over the next week, too. Actually, tomorrow is when I was going to give myself to come up with A word. And I have come up with 4 words. Not because I am an over-achiever, or think I'm better. But for two reasons: a) I really like all words. The more the merrier, I always say. and b) I have many more things to work on. Even if I live to be 100 (I still need to tell you the story of my 99 year old grandmother who wants to buy a Christmas sweater for next year) only working on one word a year is too few.
My 4 words and why they are important to me at this season of my life:
1) Patience: in everything. Listening to the Lord. Waiting on my husband. Waiting for the light to turn green. Waiting on the person with a bazillion groceries to check out. Waiting for the house to sell. Waiting for answers. Waiting on my children. Patience in all things.
2) Humility: This is one of those blessings that comes with the wrinkles and gray hair. Help me to be ready, nay eager to say: "you don't have to do it my way" "but I could be wrong" "what do you think?" "as long as it makes you happy".
3) Gentleness: This will come with humility, I suppose, since my non-gentleness seems to stem from my matter-of-fact-ness: "This is the way it is. Put your happy britches on about it. Move along." Part of that is my parenting gene (and it wouldn't kill me to pour some gentleness into that, either) and part of that is my logical gene. The Spirit needs to smooth out those rough edges in me.
4) Wisdom: So thankful scripture tells us that as we pray for wisdom it will be granted. For instance, if God also grants me humility, how will I know when to stand up with a solid backbone and speak Truth into someone at a difficult time? Wisdom (and love) will have to be over all and in all of these words.
Does anyone else use words in a year? I would love to hear yours!
Last week as 'words' kept cropping up on people's blogs and statuses (stati?) I started praying (remember, I'm going to hear from the Lord?):
"Lord do you have a word for me? I think I may need a word? What about a word? Aren't you going to give ME a word? Come ON already...!! A word!"
Surprisingly enough, the word: Patience ...
came to mind.
But so many other words came to mind over the next week, too. Actually, tomorrow is when I was going to give myself to come up with A word. And I have come up with 4 words. Not because I am an over-achiever, or think I'm better. But for two reasons: a) I really like all words. The more the merrier, I always say. and b) I have many more things to work on. Even if I live to be 100 (I still need to tell you the story of my 99 year old grandmother who wants to buy a Christmas sweater for next year) only working on one word a year is too few.
My 4 words and why they are important to me at this season of my life:
1) Patience: in everything. Listening to the Lord. Waiting on my husband. Waiting for the light to turn green. Waiting on the person with a bazillion groceries to check out. Waiting for the house to sell. Waiting for answers. Waiting on my children. Patience in all things.
2) Humility: This is one of those blessings that comes with the wrinkles and gray hair. Help me to be ready, nay eager to say: "you don't have to do it my way" "but I could be wrong" "what do you think?" "as long as it makes you happy".
3) Gentleness: This will come with humility, I suppose, since my non-gentleness seems to stem from my matter-of-fact-ness: "This is the way it is. Put your happy britches on about it. Move along." Part of that is my parenting gene (and it wouldn't kill me to pour some gentleness into that, either) and part of that is my logical gene. The Spirit needs to smooth out those rough edges in me.
4) Wisdom: So thankful scripture tells us that as we pray for wisdom it will be granted. For instance, if God also grants me humility, how will I know when to stand up with a solid backbone and speak Truth into someone at a difficult time? Wisdom (and love) will have to be over all and in all of these words.
Does anyone else use words in a year? I would love to hear yours!
Wednesday
Time With Jesus
Jana mentioned one of her resolutions was to listen more to what God has for her. In her wise words, "I'm so busy gabbing my head off to Him (or ignoring Him entirely) that I have no idea what He has to say to me or what He wants me to do."
That made me think of this video that never fails to step on my toes AND make me laugh.
Shortly before Christmas I read a very powerful book, "The Power of a Whisper: Hearing God, Having the Guts to Respond" by Bill Hybels, founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. (at the time, it was a free Kindle download. Sadly, it isn't anymore -- still worth a read!)
God is still speaking to each of his children today. I am finding that my untrained ear still isn't sure what is His whisper and what is my brain. That requires more prayer and practice. But He speaks through His word, through other children, and through my own thoughts. Read the book. Great read.
Jeremiah 33:3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'
That made me think of this video that never fails to step on my toes AND make me laugh.
Shortly before Christmas I read a very powerful book, "The Power of a Whisper: Hearing God, Having the Guts to Respond" by Bill Hybels, founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. (at the time, it was a free Kindle download. Sadly, it isn't anymore -- still worth a read!)
God is still speaking to each of his children today. I am finding that my untrained ear still isn't sure what is His whisper and what is my brain. That requires more prayer and practice. But He speaks through His word, through other children, and through my own thoughts. Read the book. Great read.
Jeremiah 33:3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'
Tuesday
Resolutions? Goals? Po-tay-to? Po-tah-to?
I mentioned yesterday that I have really balked at setting goals/ resolutions because of our state of transition/ whatever. I have also, always in the past, really steered away from setting hard- and -fast resolutions only to fail and feel crummy about myself.
So. I have goals. Some are 'this-year-specific'. Some not. Some I will share with you to hold myself accountable. Some not (though I do plan to share them with SOMEONE to hold me accountable -- I think that's a great idea).
Other ways I have seen folks go about goal setting recently:
Rob has a very ambitious 101 Things in 1,001 days (almost 3 years) list.
Erin Doland of Unclutterer plans to have monthly goals (but she also plans to plan each day to the hour. Wow.). I have tried a variation of monthly goals before.
Michael Hyatt (I have no idea if he also does New Year's Resolutions on top of this) creates an overall Life Plan, working toward the end result of the person he would like to be. He reviews this each quarter.
I started and created myself a Life Plan, as well. I have always LOVED the word 'intentionality'. If there is someplace you want to end up (being a good parent and spouse, skilled writer/ basket weaver, certain level of fitness, etc.) you need to PLAN to end up there on purpose. It rarely happens on accident. So I have a life plan -- I have a few areas I still need to work toward writing out (blech -- who wants to face a plan for their finances? We just want LOTS of money, right??)
These are a few of the things I am working toward this year (and I think most of these are on my Life Plan):
*Read more books. At least 2 fiction, 1 non-fiction per month. I know for you big readers that isn't a lot, but I just get sucked into blogs and facebook and my own stuff and let it get away from me. I have gotten a running start on this by using the library and the Kindle on my iPhone and my laptop (you can get Kindle software on almost any electronic device now). This page will help you find some good deals on Kindle, but between Amazon 1-click and iTunes, I can drain my bank account $1.29 at a time!
*Complete 2 half-marathons this year. I am already registered for the Dallas Rock -n - Roll in March. So, Lord willin' and barring injury, that will be #1. My 2nd will be in the fall and I'm not sure which that will be. My overall goals for running is to continually better my time (I would almost have to stand still to make it worse than it was last fall!)
*Memorize 52 verses of scripture. I am participating in Beth Moore's Scripture Memory Team which only requires that you memorize 24 (2 per month). I knew that wasn't enough of a challenge for me, considering how much scripture I want to be rolling through my head. 52 is an ambitious goal, no doubt. But I know I can do it. (and you can totally do 24 -- it's not too late to start if you want!)
*Consistently be in the word and in prayer. Because I always have my time in the word first thing in the morning, it's also the first thing to get dropped off when life gets crazy. I have been catching my Bible reading here, and "praying without ceasing", but I miss the structured time. This is one of the reasons I have made myself have monthly goals -- to get back to this.(Y'all, I found this "Bible Reading Plan for Slackers and Shirkers". Can NOT tell you how much I love it!!)
*No Diet Cokes. Again. I was off of Diet Cokes for almost a year because of my migraines and for some crazy reason, started ooching back onto them this summer. When one didn't bother me, I had one or two more. Then a LOT more. However, now that winter has hit, the combination of my migraine preventative and the Diet Cokes keep my fingers and toes miserably cold, and the carbonation affects my running (as in, my breathing). Why do I drink that junk? Because it is yummy. But I will not put one to my lips for 2011. About to take the last of a 12-pack over to a friend's house now.
These are all I can think of right now. What about you? Goals? Plans? Resolutions?
Monday
A New Year, Same Old Junk
So. 2011. *sniff, sniff* Still smells like 2010 to me...
Remember how before the holidays I wrote (quite a bit) about not moving, etc.? Yeah, still not moving. Still tired of people asking when we are moving.
Resolutions? Plans? Goals?
See, I don't want to do ANY of that because it isn't neat and tidy. You see, it should all be color- coded on my calendar in my goal-setting and checking off and how to go about it. Yet, when I don't know when I'll be moving or my forwarding address, or any of that, I balk at planning ahead very much.
Yes, yes, grinchity, grinch. However, I have come to see the blessing in facing the black hole that is my 2011.
You see, I thought I had my 2010 all mapped out for me last year. I had goals and plans. I had ideas. I had thoughts. I boxed up my Christmas decorations having NO idea what 2010 would hold for me. And what a blessing that was. Sure, I was blindsided when tough times came, but I'm glad I didn't spend the first 6 months of the year dreading that moment.
And now? Now I'm glad that I know that 2011 will be a year of change, upheaval and transition for us. Obviously, I can't lie: I loathe the blackness stretching in front of us. The Unknown of when and where and how long. I LIKE having my calendar squared away and filled in. But I do know that God is here, through it all. God has ordained every day of my life before it ever dared to get written on a calendar. I don't HAVE to see the road ahead, because God is in it. I am thankful that I have that reminder through this time.
I have claimed Joshua 3:5 as a verse for our family for this year:
Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” We are living expectantly that this road we are on will take us amazing places with the Lord.
Saturday
Friday
A Little Grinching For the Season
Ever have one of those moments that takes you back -- no matter how briefly -- to your most awkward, rejected middle school feelings?
Yeah, that happened. And, I am callin' her out.
My family depends on me to fill them in on ALLLLLL the details of any situation, no matter if I have ever been there or not.
"How long will this take?"
"Will we know anyone?"
"How many other people are there?"
And on and on it goes. And so it was earlier this week as I drug my family to do a little ministry to others. The project was city-wide, come one, come all, and I had never done it before, either.
I was already feeling a little rattled being there by myself with the kids, answering all of their questions about it, yet trying to maintain my calm through it all. I walked into a very crowded room where we were being herded to receive instructions and ... HEY! There's some people I know... not very well.
There were some people who attend my church... yes, my same church... sitting in one area and one row of chairs had 3 seats left in it. Me, two kids. I make a move to claim said seats.
This woman from my church -- yes, my sister in Christ -- doesn't even make eye contact with me, but SLAMS both of her hands down on the one seat closest to her and is looking about FRANTICALLY for the person that should be occupying the seat.
I have not felt so humiliatingly rejected since 6th grade when I didn't own a pair of Luv-It jeans with the satin lips and lipstick on the pocket.
You know, if she had simply smiled and said, "I'm sorry... I'm waiting for my husband/ friend/ Darth Vader/ bin Laden/ neighborhood leper to sit here... we only have 2 seats." it just wouldn't have been so bad.
I simply smiled, found 3 other seats next to a Dyess B-1 pilot who had manners, and added her to my list of people I simply will not miss once I don't live here.
Tuesday
A Decorating Thought
This one isn't whining about my house not selling, I promise.
In "staging" our house, we are keeping all things minimalist, including Christmas decorations. We got down the pre-lit tree, the stockings and stocking hangers, and that's about it. I didn't want to get down ALL of the ornaments (you know, the precious little handprint ones, the dixie cups rolled in glitter with jingle bells hung with yarn from the inside), but the lights alone were a little... pathetic.
So I checked out who had Christmas ribbon on sale and, lo and behold, when you wait until the middle of December to decorate, EVERYONE has their decorations and ribbon on sale! I went to Michael's and bought several (way too many, it turned out) rolls of wide, wired ribbon that was 60% off, so it was $4/ roll. Turns out, on our tree, 3 rolls was PLENTY, but I'll keep one extra roll just for good measure.
So, my thought for today is: $16 bucks worth of ribbon can make a tree look like a tree. Not bad. (yes, I know we have a strand out. It's not the fuses. We give up.)
In "staging" our house, we are keeping all things minimalist, including Christmas decorations. We got down the pre-lit tree, the stockings and stocking hangers, and that's about it. I didn't want to get down ALL of the ornaments (you know, the precious little handprint ones, the dixie cups rolled in glitter with jingle bells hung with yarn from the inside), but the lights alone were a little... pathetic.
So I checked out who had Christmas ribbon on sale and, lo and behold, when you wait until the middle of December to decorate, EVERYONE has their decorations and ribbon on sale! I went to Michael's and bought several (way too many, it turned out) rolls of wide, wired ribbon that was 60% off, so it was $4/ roll. Turns out, on our tree, 3 rolls was PLENTY, but I'll keep one extra roll just for good measure.
So, my thought for today is: $16 bucks worth of ribbon can make a tree look like a tree. Not bad. (yes, I know we have a strand out. It's not the fuses. We give up.)
Monday
For Nothing Is Impossible
As you might imagine, I'm a little single-minded these days, so this 'choose one thought' blog idea may not work out too well. They may seem to all center around the same theme for a while. I will try to vary the idea a bit throughout the week. But today, the idea centers around the same thing I spoke about last time: my house hasn't sold.
I have become very specific in my prayers with the Lord. And bold. My prayer is not that my house will sell "soon" or "quickly". You see, scripture tells me that a day with the Lord is like a thousand years. So, I am being very specific in telling the Lord every time I pray that I would please like my house to sell THIS MONTH. Sure, it's a long shot. Sure it's the holidays. Sure it's the worst economy ever. But He is God and I will boldly ask.
Yesterday, through a series of events that I'll share later God led me to read Luke 1. And in Luke 1, I have a verse highlighted and underlined.
v. 37: "For nothing is impossible with God."
Now, I realize there are 2 ways to take this. Obviously, I could hear it that selling my home this month is not impossible with God. OR me surviving it NOT selling this month is not impossible with God. But God and I (and all of you) know which way I want that to go!
That makes me think of Evan Almighty when God had told Evan there would be a flood on Sept. whatever. And on Sept. whatever Evan is standing there ON HIS ARK that he built and there is nary a cloud in the sky.
Evan's wife says, "Maybe... maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. Maybe He meant a flood of knowledge, or emotion, or awareness."
Evan replies, "Oh, if that's true, I am going to be so ticked."
Yeah. Please Lord.
So we wait, secure in the knowledge that nothing is impossible with God.
And tonight, while we wait, to reframe our minds, the kids and I will be volunteering with a local ministry to inner city children to deliver blankets, food, and gifts for the season. And we will then return to our warm home, that we still own, and be very grateful that we have it and for all that the Lord has given us.
"For nothing is impossible with God."
I have become very specific in my prayers with the Lord. And bold. My prayer is not that my house will sell "soon" or "quickly". You see, scripture tells me that a day with the Lord is like a thousand years. So, I am being very specific in telling the Lord every time I pray that I would please like my house to sell THIS MONTH. Sure, it's a long shot. Sure it's the holidays. Sure it's the worst economy ever. But He is God and I will boldly ask.
Yesterday, through a series of events that I'll share later God led me to read Luke 1. And in Luke 1, I have a verse highlighted and underlined.
v. 37: "For nothing is impossible with God."
Now, I realize there are 2 ways to take this. Obviously, I could hear it that selling my home this month is not impossible with God. OR me surviving it NOT selling this month is not impossible with God. But God and I (and all of you) know which way I want that to go!
That makes me think of Evan Almighty when God had told Evan there would be a flood on Sept. whatever. And on Sept. whatever Evan is standing there ON HIS ARK that he built and there is nary a cloud in the sky.
Evan's wife says, "Maybe... maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. Maybe He meant a flood of knowledge, or emotion, or awareness."
Evan replies, "Oh, if that's true, I am going to be so ticked."
Yeah. Please Lord.
So we wait, secure in the knowledge that nothing is impossible with God.
And tonight, while we wait, to reframe our minds, the kids and I will be volunteering with a local ministry to inner city children to deliver blankets, food, and gifts for the season. And we will then return to our warm home, that we still own, and be very grateful that we have it and for all that the Lord has given us.
"For nothing is impossible with God."
Friday
Just a Thought
Julie inspired my to dip my toe back into blogging ever so lightly.
If you don't want to clicky-click ALLLL the way over to Julie's spot, here is what she says:
"For some reason I find myself flush with ideas as I go about my day that I think would make most interesting blog topics. However, when I finally sit down at the computer they have flown from my mind, like birds seeking warmer places for winter...
It's not that I can't remember anything about my day, it's just that the writing impetus has gone, gone away...
So today I decided that surely for the next few days I could just write one sentence. Or better put, just one thought."
So I shall try to give you just one thought on my blog, but my dream last night was a foreshadowing of trying to catch that thought. I was trying to help a toddler out of water that was up to the top of her head. Her mother had no idea that the water was too deep for her and had left her. For some reason, I was hovering over the water. Let's not analyze, shall we. I would get within arm's reach of the toddler, and she would walk in a circle, trying to figure out how to get out of the water. This went on to a comedic level. I was frantically reaching for this toddler walking in circles in water. No, I never got her. The alarm went off.
Yes, my thoughts to capture are that elusive. Julie's one was about her Christmas lights that she is thankful for. We don't have any up right now. We don't have any Christmas out. My hope was that our house would at this point be "under contract" and we would be frantically packing, buying a new home, etc. Instead we are waiting on God's perfect timing to bring a buyer to our home.
And, if I had to give you one thought, it would be that, since that is the question I get most frequently, "How's the sale of your house going?" And my response is, "About like you would expect during the holidays of the worst economy of my lifetime..."
Most days I am at peace, but the past two nights I have slept like a baby. Meaning -- in 2 hour increments. And in my 2 hour increments, I'm evidently dreaming of near-drownings of toddlers. I'm not well rested which means I'm not in a super great frame of mind.
At one point when I was at peace, God brought to mind a verse I am claiming for our family for 2011. I know that at this point in time, God is taking us to a new town to do something... awesome for Him. I don't know what, but the hard part is waiting to get started.
Stirman family verse for 2011:
Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you." Joshua 3:5
Let's do this thing!
If you don't want to clicky-click ALLLL the way over to Julie's spot, here is what she says:
"For some reason I find myself flush with ideas as I go about my day that I think would make most interesting blog topics. However, when I finally sit down at the computer they have flown from my mind, like birds seeking warmer places for winter...
It's not that I can't remember anything about my day, it's just that the writing impetus has gone, gone away...
So today I decided that surely for the next few days I could just write one sentence. Or better put, just one thought."
So I shall try to give you just one thought on my blog, but my dream last night was a foreshadowing of trying to catch that thought. I was trying to help a toddler out of water that was up to the top of her head. Her mother had no idea that the water was too deep for her and had left her. For some reason, I was hovering over the water. Let's not analyze, shall we. I would get within arm's reach of the toddler, and she would walk in a circle, trying to figure out how to get out of the water. This went on to a comedic level. I was frantically reaching for this toddler walking in circles in water. No, I never got her. The alarm went off.
Yes, my thoughts to capture are that elusive. Julie's one was about her Christmas lights that she is thankful for. We don't have any up right now. We don't have any Christmas out. My hope was that our house would at this point be "under contract" and we would be frantically packing, buying a new home, etc. Instead we are waiting on God's perfect timing to bring a buyer to our home.
And, if I had to give you one thought, it would be that, since that is the question I get most frequently, "How's the sale of your house going?" And my response is, "About like you would expect during the holidays of the worst economy of my lifetime..."
Most days I am at peace, but the past two nights I have slept like a baby. Meaning -- in 2 hour increments. And in my 2 hour increments, I'm evidently dreaming of near-drownings of toddlers. I'm not well rested which means I'm not in a super great frame of mind.
At one point when I was at peace, God brought to mind a verse I am claiming for our family for 2011. I know that at this point in time, God is taking us to a new town to do something... awesome for Him. I don't know what, but the hard part is waiting to get started.
Stirman family verse for 2011:
Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you." Joshua 3:5
Let's do this thing!
Sunday
Eighteen??
Today's the day!
Yes, it's a day of craziness and another day of sending Troy off to work at a job far away after he survived, nay, thoroughly enjoyed his first week. Add to it a birthday for a 13 year old complete with Harry Potter film fest, a basketball tournament and an out of town basketball game
and we are a family ON THE GO. Oh... of course today is Open House for the house, so I SHOULD be dusting, scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, straightening, or tossing something, but right now I have to pause to remember.
Eighteen years ago this morning I was waking up for the last time as a single woman. It was a muggy Louisiana morning (there are about 4 per year that aren't). I remember certain vivid details about my wedding day, few of them that you want to hear. I do remember my Poppa Max's booming voice as he prayed over us. I remember poor Roxanne, my maid of honor, had a sinus infection. It POURED on us after we left from our honeymoon. And I thought I loved Troy more than I ever would or could.
Eighteen years later I love him still and I love him more. I have made no secret of the fact that our marriage isn't perfect now and has had its share of trouble... which is why I love him so. We have both fought hard for what we have which makes it that much more precious.
Troy and I both are "out there" folks in our own way -- he is a networking/ making things happen guy, and I am the write about what has happened gal. God taught me years ago that my emotions and happiness don't depend on Troy (that is God's place in my life) but Troy very ably steps in and reminds me of my gifts, points out where I might best use them in God's kingdom, and when Satan tries to convince me it won't work or I can't do it, Troy points out the lie that is. The "being comfortable in my own skin" that has come with age has also come from being married to Troy. My skin is pretty comfortable next to him, too.
So, in the midst of this crazy day, happy anniversary to the love of my life. I hope we get way more than 18 more.
I thought this post, by Matt Hammit of Sanctus Real, was wonderful for today. If you haven't heard of his story, Matt's baby, Bowen, was born about 6 weeks ago with serious heart complications. Following surgery, several scary days, and a LONG stay in the NICU, Bowen FINALLY came home this week... one day before Matt had to leave for a show. He talks about his struggle to find that elusive balance we all look for.
What. A. Day.
As I was opening my eyes this morning, I was thinking, "We should leave the house 'show ready' when we go to church this morning... they gave us such short notice yesterday, and the weekends may be a busy time for house hunters..." Yeah..
Then Troy came back and told me that the dog (our LARGE dog) had a LARGE accident in the laundry room. VERY unlike her, I think I know what happened, but nonetheless, there was machinery that needed to be moved, grout to be cleaned, etc. Troy thought he had cleaned it all up, but he can't smell anything, so off I went scrubbing and mopping and moving the dryer, etc.
That didn't get the morning off to a very peaceful beginning as you might imagine.
The day concluded with trying to coax a hibernating hedgehog out of her cage so that we could clean it out -- we had forgotten to bring her in from the garage when we had someone come to look at the house yesterday. She's fine in cold temperatures, but she goes into hibernation. Good times, good times.
Betwixt and between I sent my husband on his way to a town 180 miles away for his first week of work -- only to send him with my car keys so that he would have to turn around about 30 miles out and come back... --, took a teenage girl clothes shopping (which was actually relatively painless compared to everything else), and helped son prepare for a devo talk.
I'll be honest -- you knew I was going to -- I haven't loved today. But I have been thankful. I have been tempted to gripe (and I have) -- but underneath it all, I am thankful. If nothing else, it's awesome blog material, right?
Yesterday afternoon I was blessed to meet and spend a few minutes talking to the mother of the stinkin' cutest little 4 year old leukemia patient -- still going through one more year of treatment. Also learned of a 5 year old diagnosed with leukemia. Can I really complain because of a few inconveniences due to a new job and life transition? I'm sure I can, but Lord help me if I do.
Today was the first of what will be several challenging days ahead, I'm sure. Mandisa sings it best, "It's only the World", oh, yes, it is.
"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17,18
Fixing my eyes on the eternal to get past this temporary mess.
Wednesday
What A Difference 9 Years Makes
We are in the 'staging' phase of selling our house. We hope to get it on the market in the next 48-72 hours. This morning we had a friend come over who stages homes professionally. I THOUGHT I had looked at enough house listings to have a good idea of how to show our house well. This gal had great ideas but it involved some WORK on our end.
Troy and I were BOTH overwhelmed. Still are. But I did realize tonight the difference a few years can make in a move.
Nine years ago it would have gone like so:
She: we need to move that here, this there, and that over there.
Him: I'm not moving that.
She: silent and sullen, pouting and sad that it won't get done, but when asked, she is FINE
Now:
She: we need to move that here, this there, and that over there.
Him: I'm not moving that.
She: But what if I really want it that way?
(After two hours of shoving, pulling, rearranging, and vacuuming --- DONE).
And everyone lived happily ever after.
Tuesday
Too Much! Too Much!
It is BEYOND time to get the "Just for Today" post off of there! I have SO many things I want to tell you that I am FROZEN and haven't told you anything. So here I am to tell you something, which is always better than nothing, but it won't be everything. Right? Here we go. May have to hit the high points:
** Hello. We have a job. Y'all, I am not kidding. The very day, nay, the HOUR that I was posting my last little post -- and weeping a little through it -- Troy called me from an interview, "They LOVE me!!" In short, he was "lead candidate" for this job. So we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Then we yelled at each other a lot. I'm not kidding. That's one of the posts I want to write: what healthy marriages do under stress. It isn't pretty, but somehow we make it through. Then FINALLY the actual job offer came in. As of November 15, Troy will be working for the Cox School of Business at SMU in Dallas. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness.
** So... if you understand my current zip code, and Troy's job situation, you will figure out that there is a move in my future. I have figured out that to say the word 'move' and hand me a cardboard box, I have a Pavlovian response of elevated blood pressure, increased acid level in my stomach, and a tension headache. And my feet hurt. I don't move well, can you tell? Our move here was stressful, but went fabulously.... until we hit these city limits and the bottom fell out of our life. Then the next 3 years continued to eat our lunch. I do not have the mental wherewithall to do that again.
Most people ask about the kids. They are being good sports and handling it pretty well. They know that we have all prayed that we stay here, and God has led us to the Dallas area. So... can they really argue? :-) Of course, I am tempted to worry since I am mom, but when my brain travels that direction, I pray for just ONE friend for them those first few days and weeks, and that they will have someone to sit with at lunch on their first day of school.
** Race report: I really want to write an actual race report blog post, but if I don't get to it, I need to say that this last weekend was the 'Marathoning for Miracles' half- marathon for Children's Miracle Network. I completed it and truly had a great time.
We often quote an Andy Griffith show around here. Barney had gotten a new car, and all went for a drive, but Gomer was a little prone to motion sickness. The crew was driving through the hills surrounding Mayberry in Barney's new car when Barney thought to ask, "Gomer, how ya' doin'?" Gomer replied, in his characteristic drawl, "I'm sick as a dawg, but I'm havin' the time of m' life!" So... yeah ... I hurt all over, but I had the time of my life. I really did. I got texts from all over the state, I read encouraging facebook messages and tweets from EVERYWHERE. Saturday, I was mentally ready to take on two more a year for the rest of my life, improving my time every race. Today (after a few days' rest and missing running) my brain has already geared away from running and thinking that I don't ever want to run again. Someone please make me run. My brain will need it in the midst of this mess I'm in.
**Various and sundry: I have been blessed to see my boy score touchdowns this year! Big doin's for 7th grade football! Very exciting. Loving being a band parent for Friday games with Ashley, too, but Friday night is supposed to get down to 36*. We aren't even to playoffs yet! Brrrrrrrrrrr! Love to watch my babies in action, using their gifts! We are so blessed.
So... I've got plenty going on over here. What about you? What's up with you?
Just For Today
Just for today... I am so weary of the not knowing.
Last night, like several others recently, I sat through a parent meeting about a sport, wondering how long our family will be living in this town, if my child will have an opportunity to participate in the sport.
Just for today... the tears are closer to the surface than usual.
The constant holding us up wears a momma down, and eventually I collapse physically. I don't feel sad or down as much as I simply feel tired. Tired of the mental jockeying of 'what if/ what now/ which way/ what to do'. Simply tired.
Just for today... I don't have to have it all figured out.
Today I don't have the energy or strength to figure out all the possibilities of goin's on in our lives. It is a day that I will gather my family close, drawing strength and joy from them. Obviously, I will openly confess that this unemployment/ uncertain future isn't always the barrel of laughs it was billed to be.
When I say 'uncertain future'... please hear this: I'm saying I'm not positive what my address will be. I'm a planner and compartmentalizer (not a word... I know). I need the things ahead of me to fit on my calendar and in my address book. Looking into the vast stretch of nothingness in front of me has been a HUGE stretch for me that, for the most part, I have been totally okay with. But... just for today... I am not.
The important things are in my future: my God will be faithful no matter where my feet walk the earth and where my head touches my pillow at night. Which is why under the exhaustion, even under the tears, I have a peace. Peace that a God who loves me more than I can know is holding us all in His hand.
Just for today... I am so grateful.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
Last night, like several others recently, I sat through a parent meeting about a sport, wondering how long our family will be living in this town, if my child will have an opportunity to participate in the sport.
Just for today... the tears are closer to the surface than usual.
The constant holding us up wears a momma down, and eventually I collapse physically. I don't feel sad or down as much as I simply feel tired. Tired of the mental jockeying of 'what if/ what now/ which way/ what to do'. Simply tired.
Just for today... I don't have to have it all figured out.
Today I don't have the energy or strength to figure out all the possibilities of goin's on in our lives. It is a day that I will gather my family close, drawing strength and joy from them. Obviously, I will openly confess that this unemployment/ uncertain future isn't always the barrel of laughs it was billed to be.
When I say 'uncertain future'... please hear this: I'm saying I'm not positive what my address will be. I'm a planner and compartmentalizer (not a word... I know). I need the things ahead of me to fit on my calendar and in my address book. Looking into the vast stretch of nothingness in front of me has been a HUGE stretch for me that, for the most part, I have been totally okay with. But... just for today... I am not.
The important things are in my future: my God will be faithful no matter where my feet walk the earth and where my head touches my pillow at night. Which is why under the exhaustion, even under the tears, I have a peace. Peace that a God who loves me more than I can know is holding us all in His hand.
Just for today... I am so grateful.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
Watching The Kids
I literally have two minutes, but just have a thought in my head ... you know, rolling around because it's otherwise fairly empty except for remnants of a shopping list and some Christmas ideas... and I wanted to put it down.
Yesterday Troy had a phone interview scheduled for mid-morning. Early morning, he got called and could he possibly reschedule it for 5 p.m. "Sure, that won't be a problem." The instant he hung up he smacked his forehead. "Shoot! I spoke too soon! That is RIGHT in the middle of Riley's football game!" He grieved and moaned. He debated about attending the 4:15 game at all, but finally decided to go to the first quarter of it, hating that he had to miss any of it (and, true to form, Riley had an awesome game, as Ashley always does in her sporting events when one of us has to miss any of it!)
Yesterday Troy had a phone interview scheduled for mid-morning. Early morning, he got called and could he possibly reschedule it for 5 p.m. "Sure, that won't be a problem." The instant he hung up he smacked his forehead. "Shoot! I spoke too soon! That is RIGHT in the middle of Riley's football game!" He grieved and moaned. He debated about attending the 4:15 game at all, but finally decided to go to the first quarter of it, hating that he had to miss any of it (and, true to form, Riley had an awesome game, as Ashley always does in her sporting events when one of us has to miss any of it!)
I was thinking about how much Troy and I both love watching our kids "in action" and "doing their thing"... basically using the gifts that God has given them, and how out of our way we will go to catch just a few minutes of it. Sometimes it's here in the house, I love to hear the insights they have on a subject because of the gift of their humor or intelligence or compassion, but it also brings us great joy to watch them at play on the court or field of their choice, going all out for a sport that they enjoy, win or lose (and, no doubt, winning is always more fun). We love to see and hear them play in band, and have been amazed to hear the progress as they have gone from fledgling beginners to accomplished honors band members.
As the Lord often does, He spoke to me about how it gives Him great joy to see His children "in action" and "doing their thing", using the gifts that He has given us.
Lord, may I not get so caught up in the every day of this world that I miss what you have for me. May you delight in seeing me use the gifts you have blessed me with. May I purposely unfold and develop those gifts for your glory this day and every day.
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