Just for today... I am so weary of the not knowing.
Last night, like several others recently, I sat through a parent meeting about a sport, wondering how long our family will be living in this town, if my child will have an opportunity to participate in the sport.
Just for today... the tears are closer to the surface than usual.
The constant holding us up wears a momma down, and eventually I collapse physically. I don't feel sad or down as much as I simply feel tired. Tired of the mental jockeying of 'what if/ what now/ which way/ what to do'. Simply tired.
Just for today... I don't have to have it all figured out.
Today I don't have the energy or strength to figure out all the possibilities of goin's on in our lives. It is a day that I will gather my family close, drawing strength and joy from them. Obviously, I will openly confess that this unemployment/ uncertain future isn't always the barrel of laughs it was billed to be.
When I say 'uncertain future'... please hear this: I'm saying I'm not positive what my address will be. I'm a planner and compartmentalizer (not a word... I know). I need the things ahead of me to fit on my calendar and in my address book. Looking into the vast stretch of nothingness in front of me has been a HUGE stretch for me that, for the most part, I have been totally okay with. But... just for today... I am not.
The important things are in my future: my God will be faithful no matter where my feet walk the earth and where my head touches my pillow at night. Which is why under the exhaustion, even under the tears, I have a peace. Peace that a God who loves me more than I can know is holding us all in His hand.
Just for today... I am so grateful.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
Showing posts with label Philippians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philippians. Show all posts
Tuesday
Chicken or the Egg, Cart or Horse?
I've written about this verse before, so I've obviously read it before! I just love how God uses scripture again and again to teach, enlighten, and sharpen me.
So yesterday I was reading through my Face to Face book (a praying-God's-word book of awesomeness) and it came to a prayer regarding Philippians 2:14 and 15:
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.
I get that God wants us to do everything without complaining or arguing, so that we shine like stars in the universe. But I hadn't (until yesterday) caught on that we are supposed to do everything without arguing or complaining so that we may become blameless and pure.
Well, wait a minute...! I have been putting that verse on my 'to do when I am blameless and pure' burner. You know, with fasting and loving my enemy and stuff. We can't really be expected to do that stuff while we're still figuring it all out, can we? I'm supposed to believe that not complaining or arguing can have me become blameless and pure?
Well, if this is to be believed, it sure can. That, friends, is what Paul Faulkner used to call "Fake it 'till you make it." It may even seem to be 'inauthentic', which would lead some folks to say, "Well, I have to be honest about how I feel." Well, maybe you don't. Perhaps your momma was actually being scriptural when she told you, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
I believe that is the fruit called 'self control'.
I've got some work to do about keeping my mouth shut. Maybe, just maybe, I will eventually become blameless and pure!
So yesterday I was reading through my Face to Face book (a praying-God's-word book of awesomeness) and it came to a prayer regarding Philippians 2:14 and 15:
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.
I get that God wants us to do everything without complaining or arguing, so that we shine like stars in the universe. But I hadn't (until yesterday) caught on that we are supposed to do everything without arguing or complaining so that we may become blameless and pure.
Well, wait a minute...! I have been putting that verse on my 'to do when I am blameless and pure' burner. You know, with fasting and loving my enemy and stuff. We can't really be expected to do that stuff while we're still figuring it all out, can we? I'm supposed to believe that not complaining or arguing can have me become blameless and pure?
Well, if this is to be believed, it sure can. That, friends, is what Paul Faulkner used to call "Fake it 'till you make it." It may even seem to be 'inauthentic', which would lead some folks to say, "Well, I have to be honest about how I feel." Well, maybe you don't. Perhaps your momma was actually being scriptural when she told you, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
I believe that is the fruit called 'self control'.
I've got some work to do about keeping my mouth shut. Maybe, just maybe, I will eventually become blameless and pure!
Monday
Better Than I Deserve
If you've ever caught Dave Ramsey online or on the radio, when people ask him how he's doing, his standard answer is, "Better than I deserve." I don't know if he really means it or if it has just become his 'schtick' now, but I think it's a great attitude to have in life. One that I could stand to adopt, I recently realized.
A few days ago someone important to me was unkind to me. I don't think I was the underlying problem, just received the backlash. I am certainly guilty of dragging fears and stresses around with me so that I can be sure to unload the full force of my life irritation on someone that I think will still love me when it's over. I guess that's what this was. But it still hurt my feelings.
So I told the Lord about it and, honestly, I wasn't ready to pray to be kind in return to this person. I told God about it and caught myself saying, "I deserve to be treated nicer than that!"
I think I heard some holy laughter.
Didn't His son deserve to be treated MUCH nicer than he was here on earth? Hasn't the Lord PROMISED me I would have trouble in this world?
Keep in mind, I wasn't being 'persecuted for my faith' -- I was being 'persecuted' (yes, I am using that term very, very broadly) just for being where I was. I just happened to receive the fall off of an irritating, fallen world we live in. And 'deserving to be treated better' -- that is SO the world talking!
No doubt, Beth reminded us in August, and scripture tells us all over -- we are co-heirs with the King of Kings! We have an inheritance! But to think "I deserve better" than the way I'm being treated. Well, I do, but I certainly can't righteously demand it.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:5-11
A few days ago someone important to me was unkind to me. I don't think I was the underlying problem, just received the backlash. I am certainly guilty of dragging fears and stresses around with me so that I can be sure to unload the full force of my life irritation on someone that I think will still love me when it's over. I guess that's what this was. But it still hurt my feelings.
So I told the Lord about it and, honestly, I wasn't ready to pray to be kind in return to this person. I told God about it and caught myself saying, "I deserve to be treated nicer than that!"
I think I heard some holy laughter.
Didn't His son deserve to be treated MUCH nicer than he was here on earth? Hasn't the Lord PROMISED me I would have trouble in this world?
Keep in mind, I wasn't being 'persecuted for my faith' -- I was being 'persecuted' (yes, I am using that term very, very broadly) just for being where I was. I just happened to receive the fall off of an irritating, fallen world we live in. And 'deserving to be treated better' -- that is SO the world talking!
No doubt, Beth reminded us in August, and scripture tells us all over -- we are co-heirs with the King of Kings! We have an inheritance! But to think "I deserve better" than the way I'm being treated. Well, I do, but I certainly can't righteously demand it.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:5-11
Wednesday
This One Thing I Do
I am announcing, without much fanfare, that I have discovered what it is the Lord has for you to do in life. I know, before I go on, that I SHOULD write the book, get a good publisher and marketing campaign, and make millions. Because that is the question for the Christian: "But what does God want me to do with my life?"
Troy and I spent several years here working in ministry with college students. They seemed to ask the question frequently, but I found it no different than people twice their age: "What does God want me to do with my life?" I hear it from others of all ages, and I've wondered it myself. I do think that, finally, God has revealed it to me. Not just for me, but for you, as well. But my book won't be published, because no one wants to hear it. People don't really want to know what God wants them to do with their life, but instead they want a peek at the rest of their life will look like. People are really saying, "Lord, hand me the map! I will get myself there if I just know where I'm going!!" Our impatience stops us from being able to do what it is that God has for us to do -- or at least stops us from considering it as what God wants us to do with our life.
I do want to know what God has for me to do. I don't think that at my season of life I'm doing all that the Lord will have me do in life, but I am secure in the knowledge that I am doing what the Lord has for me at this minute. When will it change? When will God call me to change occupations or increase a ministry? Which of those will He ask me to do? What will it look like? In short, He's not going to tell me right now. But I still know what God wants me to do with my life. Jesus told me. They are part of his last words to his disciples before crucifixion
Did you catch it? That's all he wants: "Remain in me" and I will be sure you do what you're supposed to do. "Remain in me" and I will lead you to the occupation/ministry/calling that I have for you. "Remain in me" and I will fully equip you for the occupation/ ministry/ calling that I have for you. "Remain in me."
I guess now you understand why this idea/ philosophy won't exactly sell to the masses. I've tried it with a few souls who trust me enough to share their searching hearts with me. It's too ambiguous, too "out-there", maybe even too "churchy" of an answer. I don't know -- but I do know it isn't what people want to hear. And, truthfully, I get that. I can't stand getting to my birthday or Christmas morning and not knowing what is already wrapped for me -- I sure don't want to wait another 5-10 years to see where the Lord is taking my life, ministry, and family. But I know that He loves me more than anyone on this earth can, so I can trust my future to Him. Well, and, there's that whole, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." thing (Proverbs 19:21). Truly, how much control do I have over my future anyway? I may as well remain in Him and let Him take care of it all, instead of me thinking that I have it totally under control.
Paul seemed to allude to this idea in his letter to the Philippians, and he put it much better than I have:
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14
Troy and I spent several years here working in ministry with college students. They seemed to ask the question frequently, but I found it no different than people twice their age: "What does God want me to do with my life?" I hear it from others of all ages, and I've wondered it myself. I do think that, finally, God has revealed it to me. Not just for me, but for you, as well. But my book won't be published, because no one wants to hear it. People don't really want to know what God wants them to do with their life, but instead they want a peek at the rest of their life will look like. People are really saying, "Lord, hand me the map! I will get myself there if I just know where I'm going!!" Our impatience stops us from being able to do what it is that God has for us to do -- or at least stops us from considering it as what God wants us to do with our life.
I do want to know what God has for me to do. I don't think that at my season of life I'm doing all that the Lord will have me do in life, but I am secure in the knowledge that I am doing what the Lord has for me at this minute. When will it change? When will God call me to change occupations or increase a ministry? Which of those will He ask me to do? What will it look like? In short, He's not going to tell me right now. But I still know what God wants me to do with my life. Jesus told me. They are part of his last words to his disciples before crucifixion
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch
in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so
that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I
have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No
branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.
Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in
me.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and
withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish,
and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much
fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
"As the Father has
loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 1If you
obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have
obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that
my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love
each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay
down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no
longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business.
Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father
I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed
you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you
whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." John
15:1-14
Did you catch it? That's all he wants: "Remain in me" and I will be sure you do what you're supposed to do. "Remain in me" and I will lead you to the occupation/ministry/calling that I have for you. "Remain in me" and I will fully equip you for the occupation/ ministry/ calling that I have for you. "Remain in me."
I guess now you understand why this idea/ philosophy won't exactly sell to the masses. I've tried it with a few souls who trust me enough to share their searching hearts with me. It's too ambiguous, too "out-there", maybe even too "churchy" of an answer. I don't know -- but I do know it isn't what people want to hear. And, truthfully, I get that. I can't stand getting to my birthday or Christmas morning and not knowing what is already wrapped for me -- I sure don't want to wait another 5-10 years to see where the Lord is taking my life, ministry, and family. But I know that He loves me more than anyone on this earth can, so I can trust my future to Him. Well, and, there's that whole, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." thing (Proverbs 19:21). Truly, how much control do I have over my future anyway? I may as well remain in Him and let Him take care of it all, instead of me thinking that I have it totally under control.
Paul seemed to allude to this idea in his letter to the Philippians, and he put it much better than I have:
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14
Saturday
Complaint Department, 300 Miles That Way -->
Do you have someone that you call when you just need to vent? If not, please do not make it me. I am evidently several folks' go-to steam release, and I've about had my fill of the griping. Don't get me wrong, I have done my share of griping, and once I get started... oh, man. And, better yet, I love to use BIG words when I gripe, so it becomes hysterically funny. I think that's why I'm having such a hard time listening to the complaints of others -- I want so much to join in. Like a dieter who has a hard time hanging out with her friend who is trying to put on weight, it's hard for me to listen to some griping and not join in.
About a year ago, I REALLY read Philippians 2:14-16a: "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Sure, I knew the verse "Do everything without complaining or arguing," and I'm pretty sure I had my children memorize it as well. Not only is it a directive (order/command), it has a reason with it -- and a darn good one: "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Basically, how in heaven's name is the world going to know you belong to Christ if you're just as gripy as the next person? And, truly, when I look around at my life -- what in the world do I have to gripe about anyway? I mean, honestly...!
I really do TRY to limit my griping to God and my husband. Sometimes I will call Troy and say, "I don't need you to do anything, but I just need to VENT." If I ever need to vent ABOUT Troy -- oh, yeah, it happens -- I really try to keep that between me and God. 15 years ago we became one -- I signed up to be a part of him as well as being his biggest fan and cheerleader. I don't need to "spread the (kill)joy" by griping about half of me to other folks. That is where it is really hard to not join in when griping is around me, 'cause, turns out, some other husbands can annoy their spouses, too. But then you have to remember that marriage is for our holiness, not happiness, right? It's all a cycle.
So, when you get all good and worked up about whatever it is, please do not call/email/stop-by-my-house/whatever. Blog about it. Pray about it. Find what the Lord has to say about it in scripture. Google it -- I'm sure at least 15,000 other people have your same exact gripe.
I'm over here trying REAL hard to shine like a star in the universe!
About a year ago, I REALLY read Philippians 2:14-16a: "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Sure, I knew the verse "Do everything without complaining or arguing," and I'm pretty sure I had my children memorize it as well. Not only is it a directive (order/command), it has a reason with it -- and a darn good one: "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Basically, how in heaven's name is the world going to know you belong to Christ if you're just as gripy as the next person? And, truly, when I look around at my life -- what in the world do I have to gripe about anyway? I mean, honestly...!
I really do TRY to limit my griping to God and my husband. Sometimes I will call Troy and say, "I don't need you to do anything, but I just need to VENT." If I ever need to vent ABOUT Troy -- oh, yeah, it happens -- I really try to keep that between me and God. 15 years ago we became one -- I signed up to be a part of him as well as being his biggest fan and cheerleader. I don't need to "spread the (kill)joy" by griping about half of me to other folks. That is where it is really hard to not join in when griping is around me, 'cause, turns out, some other husbands can annoy their spouses, too. But then you have to remember that marriage is for our holiness, not happiness, right? It's all a cycle.
So, when you get all good and worked up about whatever it is, please do not call/email/stop-by-my-house/whatever. Blog about it. Pray about it. Find what the Lord has to say about it in scripture. Google it -- I'm sure at least 15,000 other people have your same exact gripe.
I'm over here trying REAL hard to shine like a star in the universe!
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