Tuesday

Just For Today

Just for today... I am so weary of the not knowing.

Last night, like several others recently, I sat through a parent meeting about a sport, wondering how long our family will be living in this town, if my child will have an opportunity to participate in the sport.

Just for today... the tears are closer to the surface than usual.

The constant holding us up wears a momma down, and eventually I collapse physically. I don't feel sad or down as much as I simply feel tired. Tired of the mental jockeying of 'what if/ what now/ which way/ what to do'. Simply tired.

Just for today... I don't have to have it all figured out.

Today I don't have the energy or strength to figure out all the possibilities of goin's on in our lives. It is a day that I will gather my family close, drawing strength and joy from them. Obviously, I will openly confess that this unemployment/ uncertain future isn't always the barrel of laughs it was billed to be.

When I say 'uncertain future'... please hear this: I'm saying I'm not positive what my address will be. I'm a planner and compartmentalizer (not a word... I know). I need the things ahead of me to fit on my calendar and in my address book. Looking into the vast stretch of nothingness in front of me has been a HUGE stretch for me that, for the most part, I have been totally okay with. But... just for today... I am not.

The important things are in my future: my God will be faithful no matter where my feet walk the earth and where my head touches my pillow at night. Which is why under the exhaustion, even under the tears, I have a peace. Peace that a God who loves me more than I can know is holding us all in His hand.

Just for today... I am so grateful.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

8 comments:

Scott F said...

Hang in there! I have no idea what the future will be, but I know His faitfulness to you and your family will be a part of it! Your family is loved by many.

dad said...

You have to know your mom and dad are lifting you and your loved ones daily!

Susan said...

Well said, Sarah Lu. Limbo isn't a comfortable place to be. Being new isn't comfortable sometimes, too. But just for today, it's okay to be where you are. Have you read the Just for Today prose? I'm assuming this is where you got this. If not, I'll send it to you. It's helped me through many a time of discomfort and angst. Love you.

ChristyCate said...

Beautiful glimpse of your heart, my friend. I promise, others gain strength from your vulnerability in expressing the sometimes painful reality of life blessedly wrapped in Spiritual assurance. He is using your gift, right here, today, for His purposes. You will look back and KNOW -- He is faithful and able. I can't wait to see where He plans to use you and yours next.

Donna said...

And I hope that you know that especially on those "just for today" days, you have folks carrying you in prayer. Take a deep breath and rest in the Lord!
Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Where are the words when you want them? Just know there are prayers for you and your family, and we know they will get through, no matter how feeble the words.
Bill K.

Jae said...

FYI, your testing something out didn't work. I'm now curious as to what you were testing and why it didn't work. Inquiring minds...

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