You're Stronger Than You Think You Are

I've mentioned running on occasion. If someone says that I'm a runner I make them do air quotes around the word and call me a "runner." It doesn't come naturally to me. I didn't start really running until my 30's. I am slow. My running plans never go how I want because there are few plans out there for 40-something beginners that are turtle-slow.

My last 5k. I finished before they cleared the course. 

Photo courtesy Celebrated Images

If you are a Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter you know that I run in the morning, sometimes horrifically early. I'm not necessarily a morning person, but that is when the running must be done if it is to get done.

My legs don't work well and my brain doesn't work well at still-too-dark hours of the morning. Thankfully, my brain only has to figure out to put one foot in front of the other and stay out of traffic. That much I can usually manage.

My legs take a while to get going on these runs. I give myself a few minutes to warm up and then begin to wonder why I didn't stay in bed.

Lately, though, a sentence has been echoing in my head. A sentence that has propelled me further and faster (relatively speaking, of course) than any training program or motivational thought.

Less than ten words spoken to me over a year ago keep my legs in motion.

When we first moved here (almost 2 years ago) God almost immediately brought me a running partner knowing that I needed the running to keep me sane and the partner to keep me faithful.

She is a much stronger runner than I am but is eternally patient and helped me get on track. I was discussing some training I wanted to do or something I hoped to accomplish but bemoaning my lack of ability.

And there it was:

"You're a stronger runner than you think you are."

I don't know if she was just filling the air -- though she isn't one to say something she doesn't mean -- or if she really believed that.

It doesn't matter.

What matters is that I believed it. Okay -- I didn't believe it at first. But I considered it as a possibility. So I somewhat tested it. Maybe I can run a little longer before a walk break. Maybe this isn't as fast as these legs will go.

My running partner has moved away. I am left to train on my own. It's been a tumultuous winter of illness and injury for me. But out the door I go, starting over again and again. My legs complain. My lungs burn. But I hear it.

"You're a stronger runner than you think you are."

So I keep at it. And run just a little more and a little more.

Turns out -- I really am a stronger runner than I thought I was.

It took just a few words of encouragement from someone for me to find that out. Someone else had to believe in me before I could believe in myself.

The power of encouragement. You are probably stronger -- physically and emotionally -- than you think you are. And you probably need to tell someone close to you that they are, too.

Great video about the power of one person believing in another:

Evolving Into New Goals

"Sooner or later it happens. Sooner or later the unthinkable becomes thinkable and the undoable is done. In time, a distance that was beyond the imagination becomes routine. In time, a pace that was elusive becomes ordinary. When that happens, for better or for worse, we have to find new goals."

John Bingham,
"The Courage to Start"

Accepting The Best and Worst That I Am

"Each of us can find a way to make the act of running an end to itself, too. For me, this has meant finding a way to see myself as I really am and not be afraid. It has meant finding a way to fail and not be a failure. It has meant finding a way to experience both the best and the worst that I am and accept them equally."

John Bingham,
"The Courage to Start"

The Courage to Redefine Sucess

"I also learned that my spirit was not as broken as I thought. Through running I was rediscovering courage, in myself and in others. Running was awakening the very feelings that I had tried so hard to bury. Running made me aware that the true difference between success and failure, between winning and losing, is often our willingness to be honest about what success means."

John Bingham,
"The Courage to Start"

Don't Quit

originally published at Word for Today

I am a wanna-be runner. I will train and run and begin to almost feel like a runner, and life, illness, or an injury will set me back. But for whatever reason, I am determined. I will not release the thought of being a runner, so it’s back on the track... so to speak. At least it’s back to the training plan.

Lately it has been a little easier to get back to my plan as I have a very patient running partner. She is consistently ready for me to get back to it, yet understands my need for a break when illness or injury call for it. She won’t let me get away with “I’m just not feeling it today...” because she knows what my ultimate goal is: to be a runner, with maybe a distance race completed eventually. 

Hebrews calls me to the same single-minded dedication to the hope I have: “Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:19-24)

Yes, He who promised is faithful, but there are days that I might lose my grip on my hope. These verses give me two remedies for that. First, “draw near to God with a sincere heart.” That is truly some of the best news in the New Testament -- that we don’t have to take our petitions to God through a priest. These scriptures remind us that Christ gave us the confidence to enter the Most Holy Place, cleansed by his very blood. Nothing can prevent us from doing that on a daily, even hourly, basis.

Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do that, though. When the unemployment seems to drag on longer than I ever dreamed, or the news from the doctor wasn’t what I hoped it would be, when family news is disappointing or hurtful, sometimes my heart is too broken, too fragile, or too wounded to approach the throne of grace.

That’s when I look to my running partner... or those that “spur me on toward love and good deeds.” God placed us here to be in community so that we may do just that. When I have the strength and energy, it is my time to spur others on toward love and good deeds. Other times, I let those that run this race with me encourage me to simply put one foot in front of the other, to approach the throne of grace.

Let’s run victoriously today.

A Blog A Day In September...

One of the blogs I follow is posting every day right now (and I'm fuzzy on why so don't ask for details).

I thought: I think I could post every day in September. It would get me back in the habit of checking in over here. And remind me that I don't have to tell you people my whole life story to start back up.

So, I thought of TWO things to tell you on the first day. It may lead you to believe that I have a sad little life over here if I'm considering this blog-worthy. Let's look at it that I am saving the really fascinating stuff for ... some other time.

First, I have a running partner! If you are on Facebook, this is not news to you (can y'all believe I actually have a VERY computer-savvy blog reader who is not on Facebook at all. She's awesome). My running partner is perfect for me -- she texts, not calls, to line up if we're going the next day, and she is VERY patient with me in my pace. We run as far as I can, then we run intervals for the rest of our distance. She wanted a partner more than she wanted to get in a super hard workout, and I needed someone to spur me on to do better, especially with it being 88* when we go at 5:15 a.m. OVER this heat, people!!

The second thing is about our new area. If you aren't a Texas person, or even from the South, this may not be a big deal to you, but this is something I am simply BAFFLED by -- and so are my children, honestly.

So, we move here (larger city) and are finding that everything extracurricular is far more intense: the band program is at a level we never imagined, we didn't even look at the soccer programs because it is craziness, I can't even discuss the lacrosse program (NO! I'm not kidding!), there's power lifting, volleyball, basketball, blah, blah, blah... but football? Oh... yeah... we have that, too... WHAT???!!!

Y'all -- today is the first football game at Ashley's high school. Woohoo, right? Um, no Woo. no Hoo. Not even a pep rally! Just... nothing. Not one word has been said about it. Ashley said no one... in ANY of her classes has said, "I'm so excited about the game tonight!" Are ya kiddin' me??? What are these people thinking?? It's FOOTBALL season! Don't they understand that?

Now I'm wondering if there is a pep rally for soccer games. We have entered the twilight zone...

So that's the news from the Metropolis. Check ya tomorrow with more yawn-invoking news. I think I'll go to the game tonight. Sounds like the largest population in attendance will be band parents. Stay tuned.

Reasons Not to Hit The Snooze

A few times a week I get out of bed while it is still dark, strap on my running shoes, and hit the road. The temperature and upheaval of this summer have done a number on my pace and training and I am basically back to square one, but I am celebrating where I am.

If you can fog a mirror, it's not too late to start over. So I start over. This week I ran further than last (without walking -- the end number is the same) and next week I plan to run farther still. God has blessed me with healthy legs. We got this.

When the alarm goes off and all is quiet in the house, of course I want to stay in bed. Especially Saturday mornings. But eventually I crawl out and go. And I have found that the rewards are great. Below I wanted to document some of the reasons I am glad that I get out of bed:

1) Avoiding heat stroke:This one is a little too obvious. Forget those crazy highs (though I have seen some whack-a-doos out running in it) even the lows are too hot for me. It doesn't matter if I set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. (I don't) -- it's not getting any cooler out there, and the longer I lay in bed, chances are it's getting MUCH hotter. Let's ROLL!


2) Sun coming up (Part 1)
I go down to the middle school track on occasion to run. This picture doesn't do justice the HUGE orange orb that rose -- yet I was VERY thankful for that stand of trees that blocked the light and heat for a few more minutes. Every last minute without the extra heat is a blessing.

3) Every once in a while --
Random hot air balloon. Dunno why, but I loved it. Hot air balloon on a Monday morning. Why not?

4) Sunrise (Part 2)
After the sun rose a little higher in the sky, some clouds blew in. Not the rain variety, of course. We don't get those in this part of Texas. Rumors are that they get them on the coast, but not us. Anyway, it made for an amazing few moments of sunrise. Definitely worth being out of bed for (this is the same spot I took the first sunrise pic from -- weird, huh?)

5) You might find a friend:
Elsie and I have a deal: she doesn't mention my pace, I don't point out that her udders are in woeful need of support. It's a friendly arrangement. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm crazy for the whole running deal anyway. You can kind of see it in her eyes.

Running doesn't have to be your deal. Walking, biking, swimming, yoga... whatever gets you moving. But I love what I see when I head out on the road. Now I talked to someone recently who lives close to some Buddhist monks. SHE got to see a monk sitting at the bottom of a spiral slide in her park having his morning meditation while she was on HER walk. I may ask for directions to where she walks just so I can get a picture. What do you see around you?

Dear Running Dude

(now that I am on my Facebook fast, the blog will get my drive-by thoughts again. Won't that be fun?)

Dear Runner Dude,

You totally kept me going today. I had a 5 mile run today (that I am still walk/running). Want to know something HILARIOUS -- so I am at about mile 3.9, running with my iPhone for my music and Nike+ training thing, and I checked my training plan on SmartCoach to see the pace I should be going my 5 miles. Because I am a turtle and today I totally blew that turtle business out of the water... for the first 3.5 miles. Then the turtles passed me and laughed and gathered their friends around to point and laugh.

It was at this point (the 3.9 mile mark, checking my SmartCoach) that I noticed that I wasn't even supposed to be going 5 miles today. My training plan said 4 miles. Isn't that SO! FUNNY! Um... yeah, it wasn't to me at the time, either. But I was out for 5 and I had already planned to do 5 AND I had already told my Nike+ thing that I was doing 5 and I couldn't have that little piece of electronics mocking me, now could I?

So I kept going -- did I mention I was at the corner where I could have turned to come home? Or I could have kept going straight up a hill... Up the hill I went. Into the sun. I did decide not to add an extra loop and I was running less and walking more and, in short, dying. I convinced myself to run in little 30 second shuffles.

I finally was getting toward the end. Mainly the part where I was heading down the hill toward home. I didn't care what Nike+ said, I was just going home. Since I was heading down a hill I talked myself into going for broke and running for a whole 60 seconds.

As soon as I started running I saw Mr. Runner Dude coming around the corner towards me -- which meant... up the hill. More overweight than I am, pouring buckets of sweat like I was, but running the whole time. He's probably some awesome distance runner, just in what they call the "Clydesdale" division (and I am SO not entering a race that has a Clydesdale division for me -- I have a very brave friend that I shall not call out that faithfully reads my blog that entered a race and was in the Clydesdale division for her age group... and she's smaller than me!! I would. have. DIED!!)

When I passed him, I yelled, "Good job! We're doing it!" and truly hope he didn't think I considered myself some super-awesome runner being condescending to him. Oh, no. I hope he goes home and pops open the Gatorade and scouts out random blogs and happens across mine and finds out that he kept me running today -- because he chugged it UP the hill when I barely could run down at that point in my run.

So... thanks, Mr. Runner Dude. You never know when the little thing you're doing encourages someone else to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

P.S. I got in front of my house -- Nike+ read 4.90 miles. Doh! Went to the end of the street and back. Boom! Done...

Too Much! Too Much!

It is BEYOND time to get the "Just for Today" post off of there! I have SO many things I want to tell you that I am FROZEN and haven't told you anything. So here I am to tell you something, which is always better than nothing, but it won't be everything. Right? Here we go. May have to hit the high points:

** Hello. We have a job. Y'all, I am not kidding. The very day, nay, the HOUR that I was posting my last little post -- and weeping a little through it -- Troy called me from an interview, "They LOVE me!!" In short, he was "lead candidate" for this job. So we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Then we yelled at each other a lot. I'm not kidding. That's one of the posts I want to write: what healthy marriages do under stress. It isn't pretty, but somehow we make it through. Then FINALLY the actual job offer came in. As of November 15, Troy will be working for the Cox School of Business at SMU in Dallas. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness.

** So... if you understand my current zip code, and Troy's job situation, you will figure out that there is a move in my future. I have figured out that to say the word 'move' and hand me a cardboard box, I have a Pavlovian response of elevated blood pressure, increased acid level in my stomach, and a tension headache. And my feet hurt. I don't move well, can you tell? Our move here was stressful, but went fabulously.... until we hit these city limits and the bottom fell out of our life. Then the next 3 years continued to eat our lunch. I do not have the mental wherewithall to do that again.

Most people ask about the kids. They are being good sports and handling it pretty well. They know that we have all prayed that we stay here, and God has led us to the Dallas area. So... can they really argue? :-) Of course, I am tempted to worry since I am mom, but when my brain travels that direction, I pray for just ONE friend for them those first few days and weeks, and that they will have someone to sit with at lunch on their first day of school.

** Race report: I really want to write an actual race report blog post, but if I don't get to it, I need to say that this last weekend was the 'Marathoning for Miracles' half- marathon for Children's Miracle Network. I completed it and truly had a great time.

We often quote an Andy Griffith show around here. Barney had gotten a new car, and all went for a drive, but Gomer was a little prone to motion sickness. The crew was driving through the hills surrounding Mayberry in Barney's new car when Barney thought to ask, "Gomer, how ya' doin'?" Gomer replied, in his characteristic drawl, "I'm sick as a dawg, but I'm havin' the time of m' life!" So... yeah ... I hurt all over, but I had the time of my life. I really did. I got texts from all over the state, I read encouraging facebook messages and tweets from EVERYWHERE. Saturday, I was mentally ready to take on two more a year for the rest of my life, improving my time every race. Today (after a few days' rest and missing running) my brain has already geared away from running and thinking that I don't ever want to run again. Someone please make me run. My brain will need it in the midst of this mess I'm in.

**Various and sundry: I have been blessed to see my boy score touchdowns this year! Big doin's for 7th grade football! Very exciting. Loving being a band parent for Friday games with Ashley, too, but Friday night is supposed to get down to 36*. We aren't even to playoffs yet! Brrrrrrrrrrr! Love to watch my babies in action, using their gifts! We are so blessed.

So... I've got plenty going on over here. What about you? What's up with you?

My Running Community -- and Still Keepin' It Real

Last weekend was one of my long runs -- 10 miles. It was awesome. Seriously. I felt SO great the whole time. Cool weather, and was fueled properly. Just good. (I'm about a month out from my next half marathon).

Today was a shorter "long run" (long runs are on Saturday -- in my head, if they are over 6 miles, they are a long long run, 6 or less is a short long run). Today was 6. And it was awful.

Woke up to GLORIOUS rain, so I slept in, knowing that I was either going to have to wait out the rain or run on the treadmill anyway. When I finally got around to running (about noon) I had only had a bowl of cereal because my stomach was kind of 'iffy'. I waited around to see if the rain would clear up -- nope --.Then I finally took some medicine for my stomach and headed to run (at the gym on the treadmill).

When my meds finally kicked in and my stomach settled, I was STARVING. In a runner, starving = no fuel and I didn't have a protein bar with me. I ran/walked for a while on the treadmill, was BEYOND mad that it didn't have the decency to rain not one little drop on the puddle in the gym parking lot (seriously Troy couldn't believe how mad I was -- but I REALLY hate running on the treadmill. REALLY).

Since it wasn't going to rain I thought I might have a better run outside. Nope. I couldn't really get going, not properly fueled, my stomach still not right, just all the way around not good.

My trainer, Ruthie, reminds me that running is like life: you have good days and bad days. Learn from the bad days, and go on. Before I had a trainer, or even a running community of friends, I would try to be a runner, but after a run like today, I would tell myself, "this just isn't for you. You're a loser at this. I don't know why you think you can do this. You should just give up." And I would.

Now I have a running community. Granted, the majority of it is virtual and online, but I see that people have bad runs... but they keep running. It started as I really got into reading Ruthie's blog. I guess she knew about grace to herself and determination -- or maybe she just liked running more than I did right away -- but I saw that Ruthie kept plugging away after illness and injury.

My running -- or attempts at running -- have been my secret before this year. I basically knew I would fail at some point and didn't want to have to 'fess up when it happened. But having a community has cheered me on and allowed me to see other people stumble, yet start over and succeed. It let me watch how successful runners are successful: by starting over when they have a bad day. "Back in the saddle" or however you want to call it -- it has kept me going.

This really isn't a running post -- it's a community post. I had to be intentional about surrounding myself with people who had the same goals that I did, people that I could see how they handled setbacks and how they achieved goals. That is true for any goal I would want to achieve -- including getting to heaven.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

Training Tuesday

'kay. Well, I didn't immediately revisit my 11 miles, but since I did, in fact, post yesterday, I'm sure you gathered that I at least lived to tell about it. And live I did.

I'm learning lots about this ol' bod of mine -- more all the time. Sadly, most of it is stuff I KNOW -- stuff you know, too -- but am just too hard- headed to internalize and live out. For instance, I was better fueled and hydrated for this run, and felt energized, but unfortunately truly had the wrong equipment (shoes) for the distance I was going and am currently in worse shape than ever: stone bruises on my feet, hip trouble, etc. It has affected my training and I'm paying the price.

Ruthie, as mentioned, is training me. She is also gearing up to train some folks for the next half-marathon. The hook to this one, though, is that you can raise money/ awareness for a mission of your choice. Details are here. You can participate from anywhere on the planet -- as long as you can receive the training schedule via email. She isn't starting to train until July 12. I'll try to have a few thoughts along the way between now and then. But if you can go walk 2 or 3 miles right now, you can follow the training schedule and be ready for the half in October or November.

Why in heaven's name would I go through this? What in the world would possess me to torture myself so? Believe me, I have given up on running hundreds of times in my life. Evidently I've started it just one more time than that. Right before I left for my run Saturday morning, while munching on my bagel, I came across a blog that summed it up really well for me (this gal is HILARIOUS and I am currently way too tired to come anywhere close to being hilarious...) So, to explain me, and why I do this crazy thing, check out The Sport of Selfishness.

And, every once in a while, if you non-runners will indulge me, I would love to be able to process all that I'm learning here on the ol' blog. I don't know that I need another blog, but I need to think this through. It's a new thing for me, running consistently. And I want to stick with it.

For now, I am WIPED OUT. Summer only feels like summer temperature-wise. I have run kids and me back and forth and hither and yon today. Whew. Then, I act like it's summer at the end of the day and stay up too late, but still get up about 5:30 to run while it's still cool, or to attend a weights class at my gym before I teach swim lessons. Do you know what that makes me? Exhausted and grouchy!

So... I am off of here so that I may get in bed at a reasonable hour. And? A little 'ew' for your bloginess: I'm sitting outside at dusk/ evening. Troy is home more than usual these days, and the kids are out of school and, in short -- exercise endorphins only get me to dinner. So I am sitting outside blogging watching the stars come out and being completely consumed by mosquitoes. AND in trying to flick a bug off my computer screen? Yeah, I've gotta go get some screen cleaner.

Have a great Wednesday!!

Summertime and the Livin' Is... CRAZY!

Hey, friends.

*sigh* Life is just craziness in so many ways. The BEST part of it? God is SO good and faithful through all of the craziness!

One thing going on (among a bazillion others) is that I am training for a half- marathon. I have been a bit on the down-low about that, on facebook or otherwise. Please hear this first and foremost: I AM NOT RUNNING THE ENTIRE HALF-MARATHON. I committed to it planning to walk the entire thing, then started running a few minutes of the training. I am currently walking 3 minutes, running 1.5-2 minutes.

I tell you this because I would LOVE any encouragement you have to offer. Tomorrow (Saturday) I am scheduled to do my longest training run yet (11 miles). Guess what? It's going to be STINKIN' hot, even early. And? by the way? That is a LONG way for this old body to go.

I did almost 9 a couple of weeks ago. And that was a long way to go, and I felt awful. I wasn't hydrated enough, and hadn't eaten right/ enough. It's a learning process, and as tough as it is, I'm enjoying what I'm learning. Did you know that this stuff we put in our bodies is meant to make us go, and go well?

This article talks about nutrition and what it means not only for your body, but for your brain now and in the future. I want my brain to still be going to good use in a few years, so I shall feed it well.

And Ruth, who is leading up the training for the half-marathon, tells her story of breaking her sugar addiction that started in childhood. The short answer is: keep starting over. I am currently eating more sugar than I was this time last year, but I try to get most of my sugar from fruits.

So -- that is a random "Cleft of the Rock" post. Not at all what you usually come here for, and not what I generally talk about, but what is currently going on in my life. And? I would love to hear about yours as well. What does summer find you doing? (I've got LOTS more summer talk, but this is it for now...)

Blessings to you all and happy Friday!

Oh, What a Night!

Last night was one of those 'lasts' (or 'only' if you are talking about per-child) of elementary school for our family.

One of the elementary schools in our town sponsors an area-wide 5th grade track meet as a fund raiser for their PTO. And, y'all, they have to make a KILLIN' doing this. Not my point, but you may want to consider it.

I adore both of my elementary school's PE teachers. Precious people with a heart for kids. A women teaches K-2 and a man teaches 3-5, but they team up on much of their work and work together well. The man has a daughter Ashley's age and has coached her in basketball. He is soft-spoken, a gentle spirit, but he is COMPETITIVE!! And he REALLY likes to win the 5th grade track meet.

Riley ran in the 100 m dash. We know the kid is fast and he did great. Oh, for perspective. There were 20 schools or groups (a running group of homeschool kids participated) in the meet. There were about 18 HEATS (9 runners each) of the 100 m dash for first girls, then boys. I am too tired to do the math -- it's a LOT of kids. Riley qualified for the finals! (You qualify by time, not by how you place in the heat).

A very long day indeed after those 36 heats of 100 m dashes. Then many, many other races of 200m, then 400m. At the 800, Ashley and I went to pick up dinner and bring it back. We got back just as the 4x100 relays for girls were starting. Riley was in the boys' relay team. His relay team qualified for the finals in THAT, too.

Finals were scheduled to start at 7 p.m. They started at 8:45 p.m. Riley ran HARD in the 100m, but was the last finisher. Not by a long way, but the last across. We talked about it and decided that 9th place out of 20 schools isn't too shabby.

If you don't know track meets -- well, you should, 'cause they are SO much fun. but the 4x100 relay is ALWAYS the last, and the boys is always the last one. So that was the last final. Riley was in the 100 final and one of his teammates was in the 200 final -- won it BIG -- and THEN in the 400 final and didn't appear to give that much effort. I didn't expect the relay team to do too well by the time their 9:40 start time rolled around. Boy, was I wrong! It was a great race, and Riley's team came in 2nd and another of his elementary team came in 1st. What a night.

It was another time I was able to see my child using his gifts and it was SO fun, but I love track meets for the stragglers. I am a straggler and would be tempted to simply walk off the track. But those guys don't. They struggle and try and strive and the crowd cheers and encourages and nudges them on. Track meets are a great way to spend an afternoon. Go find one soon.

At the ever-lovin' blessed FINAL end of the meet, medals were given for the finalists that placed 1st, 2nd, and 3rd on a little medal stand and everything. Being that there were still quite a few 5th grade girls around, there was a LOT of screaming that took place. After the medals were given out, the winner of the meet was announced. When it was announced that it was our little school, the kids (girls) SCREAMED and took off across the infield of the track...? Wha? Yes, they were heading to the other side of the track to go take a victory lap. Are you kidding me!

Then, coming around the track to where their sweet PE teacher was filming the madness, they started singing their school song. Cutest thing ever, and a memory that, even though it happened LONG after I like to be in my PJ's, I am SO thankful I saw.

Way to go, Raiders and most of all, Riley. So proud of you for giving it your all.

Re-do

I knew as soon as I wrote this about being a generally healthy person, the creeping crud would be lurching off of my keyboard to attack me. It took longer than I thought, but I am indeed, sick of the garden variety. Just a general yukkiness that is punctuated with coughing fits as soon as I lay prone for longer than 12 seconds. I don't run fever -- if I am running fever, I am sick, SICK, SICK, nigh unto death, and get me to a medical professional muy pronto. Alas, I am not running fever, so I still show up and do all that is required of me various and sundry places, trying to keep my groaning to a minimum. At home I do a lot of schlumping around and sighing. Oh, and of course cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Stupid fever never shows up when I need it.

So, I am going to run a blog re-run for today -- from a time when I had actual thoughts inside my head. Enjoy. I'll be on the couch reading a magazine and calling it "research" for a writing project. And sighing.

Run the Race
by Sarah Stirman

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1 NIV)

This passage from the book of Hebrews has always been one of my favorite verses. In the few-and-far-between seasons of my life when I am a runner, I love to meditate on this verse as I run. Life is a race -- A marathon! -- and I am so encouraged to think of the great cloud of witnesses that surrounds me.

The phrase in the version with which I am familiar reads "the sin that so easily entangles." This phrase kind of tripped me up. To me it sounded as if sin is a creeping vine that seems friendly, enticing, and harmless until you realize that you’re in too deep and helplessly stuck.

While I know that’s true of sin in so many ways, it didn’t fit with the running analogy to me. Most runners I know avoid running through foliage. Also sin, in my own personal experience, is much more like a wrecking ball in the cartoons than it is like a vine -- creeping or otherwise. By the time I have identified the sin (wrecking ball), I am lying flat on my back, complete with stars and birdies circling my head, wondering how I got there.

However, more recently I have come to think of this phrase in a new way. I am struggling with forgiveness -- even somewhat struggling with laying down the badge that identifies me as "someone wronged." I know this is not the life Christ has called me to embrace, yet I battle with finally laying down this burden of another’s sin. I have prayed and thought and meditated about why this is so difficult to let go.

I recently prayed asking God to let me run this race victoriously. That’s when this verse came to mind: I must throw off the sin that so easily entangles! Sometimes I cling to my past sins and let them weigh me down. Sometimes I cling to another’s sin against me and let that weigh me down. It’s impossible to run with perseverance the race marked out before me if I am clinging to all of the burdens of the past -- my own or anyone else’s. Christ calls me to run victoriously and I can’t do that with my hands full of old junk. It hinders me and I must lay it down if I want to run the race ... victoriously.

The apostle Paul gives us this victory thanksgiving: "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him." (2 Corinthians 2:14) I love to think of the "triumphal procession" as the time we are being led in as a victory parade after we have finished our race victoriously. We already know who wins this race. Now, let’s run it victoriously!

Posted: 04/26/2006URL: http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200604/20060426_runtherace.html