The Waiting Place

"And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!"

(excerpt from Dr. Seuss' "Oh, The Places You'll Go!")

I'm considering how much of the last year of our lives we have spent in The Waiting Place. This Waiting Place (waiting for a house to sell) is a smidgen different than the last Waiting Place (of waiting for a job), which I presume will be just a little different than the next Waiting Place.

And I'll be honest, I initially RAGE against The Waiting Place. First I organize it: there is a plan for how we will wait and how long we will wait, and the activities we will do while we wait. God usually thumps my plan over at some point.

I have to send up a praise and tell you that God has finally brought me to the peace that surpasses human understanding in my current Waiting Place. That is NOT me at all, but the work of the Spirit in my life. Sarah wants it mapped out, squared away, over and DONE, but the Spirit has brought some amazing grace AND peace into my life and led me to be still and wait.

My prayer in this time is to "redeem the time" -- may God use it for His good. Let us not squander our time of waiting twiddling our thumbs or raging at the circumstances of an unsold house (yes, you heard plenty of that last month) or spending energy beating the bushes for a buyer that simply isn't here now. I will spend this time in prayer that my life may be His, praying that I may hear His nudge of how best to honor Him in time of waiting.

I pray much for sweet Troy, too, in his new job and new town that he may be at peace since I think he's definitely got the short end of this deal without the support system that the kids and I have here.

I don't know WHY we are here: it may be for me, it may be for Troy, or the kids, or the buyer of this house, or the seller of the next house. I simply don't know. I simply know that I want to use this time to His glory.

One thing that brought me to this place is a song. I play it almost every day -- at least once if not 3 or 4 times -- in the car as my prayer. I had forgotten about it, but someone posted it on Facebook. The first time I heard this was a little over a year ago at a funeral.

Remember my friend Dana? She lost her beloved husband to cancer way too soon. I think he was 37. She spoke very eloquently at his funeral, and said that this song had allowed her to get through, then she played "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller (originally in the movie "Fireproof"). Then she sat down. Through a crowd of people, I could see Dana in her seat.

With tears streaking her gorgeous porcelain skin, she lifted her face and hands heavenward, and praised and worshipped to this song. Dana, as all people in grief, are now in a forever waiting place -- waiting to see their loved one. Remembering that moment has given me new resolve. If she, my beautiful, stubborn, strong friend can lift her hands in praise at her husband's funeral, then I can by golly buck up and lift my hands in praise waiting for a house to sell.

While I'm waiting...

Checking In...

Well, I am slowly sliding -- actually waddling due to recent caloric consumption -- into real life and I am not very pleased with it. I really enjoyed my not-real life so very much.

And, of course, my precious husband was most excited about our weekend away. He was more worried about whether or not any students were going to be expecting him Friday afternoon. Once he figured out he was in the clear there, all was good. I asked him SOOO many times about missing hunting, "Are you SURE you don't mind??" he finally said, "Babe! It's one weekend out of 9. No worries!" How cute is he?

You know how you get in your head how things will be and start to get mad about it before it actually happens? I was SO worked up and just positive that Troy would be really disappointed in not hunting that by Thursday I thought (not for long, but the thought did cross my mind) about calling him and screeching: "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THIS WEEKEND THAT IS JUST! FINE!! I WILL HAVE A GLORIOUS WEEKEND ALL! BY! MYSELF!!" Now it's funny -- actually, I think the comic effect of it is what kept me from doing it. When I told Troy about that today, he said, "What made you think that?" "Oh, just my crazy, crazy head...!"

And, of course, went to breakfast the first morning and the only other couple there was a couple from Temple whose son was in Ashley's pre-school class for 3 years in a row. We don't know them well, but that was funny. The B&B owner, a salty, say-anything kind of guy, drawled, "Well, at least you were with your own spouses; we've had that happen..."

It was GLORIOUS to just 'be' with my hubby. It was wonderful to go and do whatever, whenever, and however we wanted. For the record, it wasn't much, and might be boring to most people, but it was great. These things did make me laugh about being in Small Town, Texas:

• Chicken-fried BACON (yes, bacon) was served for breakfast yesterday. Yes, I ate it, yes, it was as gloriously wonderful as it sounds.
• We pumped gas at a place that didn't require you to prepay.
• I stood behind a gentleman named 'Conrad'. I know, because his name was stamped into his leather belt.
• We ordered the pecan pie with Jack Daniels ice cream for dessert last night. Y'all the PECAN PIE was fried!! I have consumed more fried food in the last 48 hours than in the last 12 months combined. P.S. Jack Daniels ice cream? Oh, yeah...!

All in all, it was so great. Every time Troy and I do that -- take just a little time for the two of us -- we agree it is well worth the financial and time investment. But we just let life keep rolling by for a year or two and forget to make it a priority. I think we've been better about it in the last few years. Probably because we have seen what a mess we become when we don't...

One last thing: I know I asked you to pray, pray about God being in the details. I need to sit and write all of the little tiny things that God took care of so beautifully and perfectly for us. I hope it will teach me to breathe that prayer far more often: "God, be in the details..." He really is, and as our loving parent longs to take care of us and delight us. It's only when we snatch back trying to take care of the details ourselves that the biggest mess is made.

God, be in the details...

My Daughter is My Sister!

For a while now, as Ashley's friends have made the decision to give their lives to Christ and be baptized, she has mentioned it. We have talked about it as a family, and I have prayed about it frequently. Truly, her biggest obstacle, in her mind, is her 'crowd shyness'. She absolutely, positively, didn't want to be baptized in front of the church and she absolutely, positively, didn't want to be 'singled out' in front of church afterward even if she chose to be baptized in private. I continued to assure her neither of those were requirements for telling Jesus you were ready to be His girl, but she just wasn't sure...

Last week, while Ashley was safely tucked away at camp, and Troy and I were cuddled on the couch watching a movie, she sent me a text message, "I HAVE to get baptized in the next week! I can't explain it, but it's something I have to do." There were other words, that I treasured in my heart (and on my iphone! ;-), but with those words, she didn't HAVE to explain it. I knew. We really didn't talk about it much at all when she got home, but last night after we got home from church, we opened up the conversation about it. In short, she felt exactly the same: it must be done. She was ready to go in my bathtub!!

But we chose to break into let ourselves into the church, just the 4 of us. (Roxanne said, "There's nothing like a little breaking and entering with your parents before giving your life to Christ." Indeed). Her daddy said some beautiful words about her decision, what it meant to HER, as well as what it meant to all of us. I didn't cry too much. But I am so amazingly thankful. According to Acts 2:38, now my daughter has received the gift of the Holy Spirit. I believe that with that indwelling, no matter the choices she makes in her life or the roads she may walk, the Spirit will remind her again and again of the cleansing waters she experienced -- a joining of Christ in his death when He was the ultimate sacrifice. I'm walking on the clouds right now, watching the heavens rejoicing as they welcome my new sister!

P.S. youtube is still chugging trying to upload the video. If you would like to see it, email me sstirman [at] gmail [dot] com and I will send you the link to it (if it ever fully uploads!)