Grieving, As One With Hope, Is Still Painful...

These are my friends Brian and Dana. How cute are they?Here is Brian with their three kids. Also precious.
These beautiful pictures were taken by Dana's sister-in-law, Whitney, who has this photography business that captures life stories that make you want to squeeze your family. Thank you, David (Dana's brother/ Whitney's husband), for letting me steal these off of your facebook page without your permission or knowledge. :-)

Brian lost his valiant fight with cancer this morning. I have so much to say about it that I will say very little. Brian was tough as nails and gentle with those babies.

Troy grew up with Dana. I've known her since she was in college and Troy and I first got married. Almost 20 years, I guess. She and Brian were dating then, I think. We all wondered if it would last -- young love, you know. Troy was supposed to sing at their wedding, but came down with the flu, so Riley was my date. Riley was about 5 weeks old, a little butterball of a date that drooled on me through the night.

Dana is my friend that we can not talk for months and when we see each other cut right to the core and talk about real things. When Brian was first diagnosed with cancer and had gone through horrific treatment and was in remission, I was in town for a day or two and Dana came to where I was after she got off work (nurse).

It was late -- 8 or 9 p.m. before she got there. We talked long and hard about what our lives had been like recently -- Brian initially battled cancer the same year Troy and I fought to put our marriage back together. When she finally went to leave, we weren't even all the way talked out, but we both had children to be nice to at some point. She was out on the driveway leaving -- and threw the newspaper back to me. It was 4:30 in the morning and the next day's paper had already come. That's how caught up we were getting. It still makes me smile.

I am so thrilled for where Brian is now, but I have hurt so much to know what life has been like for Dana -- and what it will be like for her from now on.

1 Thessalonians 4:13,14 says:
Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

No, I do not grieve as one with no hope, but I do indeed grieve. My heart hurts and I am very sad. Holding onto hope and praying peace for Dana and all of the family.


Roxanne said...

What a beautiful family, and what a beautiful tribute.

john dobbs said...

Sarah, I know your words will be sweet to this family. I hope they will keep them and when the children are older let them read them. What a loss... it is so hard when loss seems unjust. I know that my most heartfelt questions will never be answered until I see Him face to face. Until then ... living with pain becomes second nature ... and when I read something like this I just want to give all my love to this family. Thanks for sharing the hurt, and the hope. Hope does remain.

dad said...

Thank you. Thank you for the pictures and the words. I feel like I know them now, but I also grieve a lot more deeply now. And from my daddy standpoint, I am sorry for the pain you feel now.

Dana Miller said...


One year ago this month my sister lost her husband after only a four month battle with cancer. As sisters, it was one of the hardest things we ever went through together. Death is one of the most amazing things, and can be as beautiful as the birth of a child. Knowing that someone we love is in His arms brings comfort.

Katherine said...

What a beautiful tribute!! I will be praying for this sweet family. Glad you can be a comforting friend and encouragement to them as they walk this journey. Thankful we have HOPE amidst the pain.

Scott F said...

Sarah -- Thank you for using your gift of writing with this post. I know how much it means to me, I can only imagine what it means to Dana and will to the kids someday. Yes, we grieve. But oh yes we most certainly have hope!

Anonymous said...

Well said. May God bless all of you that mourn.

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