Prayers for Anne

Many of you have seen my friend Anne comment on this blog. What a precious woman. Anne is a soprano with the voice of an angel, and the faith to go with it. I don't know how old she is -- 22? 23? 17? -- but far too young to have been through what she has been through. One of the things I love most about Anne is that she loves to laugh. She even lets me try to make her laugh when it's entirely inappropriate to be laughing -- mainly because I don't know what else to say.

Since I've only known Anne for a few years, there are parts of her story that I don't have down in concrete. I know that before her first anniversary of marriage, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I kind of want to capitalize those two words -- Ovarian Cancer -- for the enormous impact they can have in a life. Doctors removed the cancerous ovary and told Anne and Nathaniel, "If you two are planning on having children, you had better do it now so that we can get the rest of the reproductive organs out of there before more cancer develops."

With one ovary, "hurry up and have kids" is easier said than done! (Anne, when you said it was okay for me to tell your story, I hope that included going into detail about the quantity of your internal organs! :-) Anne and Nathaniel went through fertility treatments and -- this is where I'm fuzzy on the story -- I believe their precious little Natalie is the result of in vitro fertilization. Hoping to have one more child they spent 2004 back and forth to Temple to Scott and White for more fertility treatment and several in vitro attempts. Finally, they were at their financial and emotional end and tried in vitro one last time.

Lo and behold!! Anne was pregnant!! We all rejoiced and were so excited for that tiny little baby to make it here. That tiny little baby didn't make it very long and Anne and Nathaniel lost the baby they named Hope one year ago tomorrow, November 29, 2004. It was a very sad holiday season for them, but the light of their faith continued to shine even on the hardest days. In January Anne whispered a secret to me: she was pregnant -- and only by she and Nathaniel and the Good Lord!! She asked me to pray, and pray I did. But I knew this was their miracle baby. They were so due for this miracle baby.

As winter gave way to spring, we all breathed a little easier that Anne continued to feel well and the baby seemed to be growing and thriving. Okay, Anne maybe didn't feel well, but definitely pregnant. Phil tried not to take it personally when she left church during one of his sermons to go throw up. One evening we were together and Anne was so excited that the next week was the ultrasound and they would finally be able to decide a name when they found out if baby was a boy or girl.

The ultrasound showed the most shattering news of all. I've never heard exactly what the "fluke of nature" was -- kink in the umbilibcal cord, cord around the neck, I'm not sure -- but it showed that the baby didn't make it . May 19, 2005, after laboring for 4 days, Anne delivered precious Carson who would never draw breath here, but join Hope in heaven.

It was too much -- for all of us. I was so proud of Anne and Nathaniel as they allowed others to minister to them in the only ways we know how. I was so proud of Anne and Nathaniel as they continued to grieve and tried so hard not to ask "why" nor demand compensation. I'm still so proud of Anne and Nathaniel.

Anne is pregnant again. We are all thrilled and scared to death for her. So far, so good, if you count throwing up on a regular basis "so good". Anne does. She's well past the first trimester. Tomorrow, on the anniversary of losing baby Hope, Anne will have an ultrasound. An ultrasound that I pray with all of my heart shows a pumping heart, a fully formed brain, and all of the fingers and toes we could hope for.

If you have made it this far in this entry, please just stop and say a brief prayer -- mainly for peace for Anne and Nathaniel as they approach such a scary time and place. And pray for this baby that I can't wait to kiss on his head! :-) If you are so inclined, leave a prayer or message of encouragement to Anne in the comments.

Personal message to Anne -- you have been my hero through all of this. I am so thankful for you and your faith. As I write about and consider the reality of the next 24 hours for you, I pray for peace for you -- but doubt I will be able to sleep myself! I love you dearly and long for good news with you.