Well, there's much, and it all boils down to a big pile of nothing, other than I believe the root of my griping is that I am currently living a life I detest. I don't detest the whole of my life, but when I see other people running non-stop from activity to activity, exhausted and grouchy with each other because the schedule is lord of the house, I hate that kind of life. And now I'm smack in the middle of it. Much of it is temporal -- end of school frivolity coupled with end of school projects at work -- but I have been running on empty for too long.
I miss the peace of being so close to the Father. I miss the joy of knowing that surface things and surface problems vanish within a blink of an eye. I miss the patience with unloveable people that comes from being in the presence of holiness. I miss the gentle answer that turns away wrath instead of the inflammatory answer that fans wrath into flame.
"I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them. I will make rivers
flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert
into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs." Isaiah 41:17,18
Send your rain, Oh, Lord.
3 comments:
If the devil can't make you bad, he will try and make you busy.
At least you know what is at the root of your despair--which goes a long way to making things better until they actually ARE better. School will be out soon, and I'm assuming your part time job is a no time job in the summer. . .here's hoping that in your busy weekend you can find time for a nap.
Remember the night of graduation when I, for all practical purposes, passed out at your house and didn't wake up until the next afternoon? ("Roxanne, it looks like you slept in that.")
Well, I went to bed at 9:00 last night and woke up at 10:00 this morning. . .I haven't done that in years. I was actually awakened by Thad at 5:55, and Victoria at 6:30, but I don't recall much brain function until I rolled over and saw that the clock read 9:57.
Love and rest and peaceful thoughts sent your way.
R--
I am right there with you friend! I have been praying for the light at the end of the tunnel for weeks!
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