Friends In Unlikely Places

Nine years ago, my home was flooded, I wasn't living in my house, I had a husband whose job required him to travel, two small children, we were being sued (I haven't told that captivating story on the blog), and I was keeping a baby 2-3 days a week. In short, I was a wreck.

I ran myself over to what would have been the closest gym if we lived in our house and signed up. I decided that I deserved just a little bit of me time and that was going to be it. I had no idea the significance that decision would play in the next 9 years of my life.

Soon I was attending classes there and met Laura, who had also recently joined that gym. Laura is a local preacher's wife who likes to not fit the preacher's wife mold. My earliest memory of her at the gym -- NO idea what we were discussing, but Laura laughed and said, "Honey, we've been married almost 15 years. If I shave my legs, that's foreplay." Yeah, I was going to like Laura.

I think Amy was there all along. Amy is a little more like me. Seemingly quiet... until she has an opinion. I know when the gym moved to "the new place" (where it's been for 7 years now) that Amy was there and that's when Amy and Laura and I all started going to some of the same classes regularly.

Before too long I got a job -- stinkin' income! -- and had to quit that regular class and sorely missed my friends. I would catch them on every other Friday, but it wasn't the same (of course). In time, I quit that job (theoretically to write, but we all know it was so I could work out with my friends! :-)

The class that we went to most often together was a weights class -- Body Pump if you know it. I'll be honest. We would talk all the way through it. Oh, we were working out (want to feel my biceps?) but we were catching up on life and diverting our attention from the pain in the mean time.

For the record -- we were frequently in trouble in class for our talking. We got talked to by the teacher -- and would stop talking for a while. Then the people on the other side of the class would start talking, inspiring us to continue our conversations. Until we got ugly looks from the front row. Or chewed out by the angry exerciser. And the cycle would start again. Truly, we had long conversations (at Starbucks -- not in class) about this.

Through class or at Starbucks we discussed it all, big and little. We talked our way through children's illnesses and surgeries, sports victories, defeats, and struggles, we've wrestled, prayed, and cried through two husband's unemployments, struggled over parenting decisions and children's heartbreaks, frequently coming to tears right there at the weight rack.

Muscles and bodies grew stronger, and so did the friendship. I honestly had NO IDEA how much those girls -- my "gym buddies" as they became known around my house -- meant to me. Until I needed someone to be strong. Or consistent. Or both. And they were.

(My two closest gym buddies, Amy, far left, and Laura, in yellow then me, and Rebekah our body pump instructor, far right, my last day at Body Pump the day I moved)

A Waiting Place Filled With Teen Crazies

I keep trying (not very hard) to get back over here... and I just keep doing other things.

My goal for the last couple of weeks has been to consistently get back into the word and eat better. Evidently I can only accomplish 2 things at a time, because I am unable to blog on top of it. I am getting some writing done and wrote about "Choosing Joy" when life wasn't aligning for me to do such.

I am behind and owe that ministry an article. My next article will be where my family is -- this waiting for the inevitable: beginning of school and band camp, settling in at church, etc. We are unpacked... but when people from the former town ask "are you settled??" with very hopeful eyes, what do I say? Well, no, we aren't settled. It's summer and we have stared at ourselves, a movie screen, and a big fat TV screen until we are all sick of each other. We workout and have push up challenges. We have precious dinner conversations. But settled in this town? We may as well be on Mars.

Of course, it's awesome that we live where Troy works 'cause, you know, we did it the other way and that totally stunk, too. We are just still in this "waiting place" -- just a different waiting place than before -- now waiting for a scary first day, hard time, obstacle to get over.Band camp starts soon for the high schooler, followed by orientation for the middle schooler. I, personally, am SO! READY! for these things to happen. Tensions are running a little high here at the house. We are all a little ready to see what it will be like and get it over with.

Not one prayer would be wasted on my family. You and I KNOW "it will be fine" when it all comes out in the wash -- it's these few weeks/ months of WAITING for it to "come out in the wash" that have tension/ anxiety mounting and teen crazies going crazier.

You know you're jealous of the teen crazies. Those are some good times, y'all...

Until next time, just trying to get settled... in front of a screen. SO! Tell me -- what are YOU up to this summer? Doing something fun?

Choosing to Be Chosen

The youth minister for our church in Abilene chooses a theme every summer. The theme is the focus of the mission trips, then the camp later in the summer. One of the reasons I won't refer to him as "my kids' former youth minister" is that a) he will always minister to all of us b) the themes always speak to me -- year 'round if I will let them. He is my minister, too -- and a friend that I always enjoy challenging spiritually and allow him to challenge me spiritually.

The theme this summer is "Chosen (and Choosing) to Be" (and I think I'm taking liberties with parentheses, etc., but it's my blog so it's my theme today).

This is based on one of my favorite verses: 1 Peter 2:9:"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

There are many parts of that to pull out and dissect that I love and that bless me, but the main point that Ricky told us on the mission trip again and again is that a) we are a chosen people, chosen by God to take Him into the world (be "his wonderful light"), be His ambassadors and b) we must, in turn, CHOOSE to put on that royal title and mantle.

We can choose to accept Christ as our Savior. Once we have done that, we can get up on a daily basis and choose our actions. We can choose to read His word. Choose to take up His cross on a daily basis. We get to CHOOSE. We have already been chosen... but what will we choose?

Last week (while the air was out in my house) I had an annoying day. Of course, when you start with an 85* house, it stands little chance of being otherwise. But I had to go into a retail establishment where I knew I would need patience and kindness. Not only did I want to reflect Christ in my actions -- I wanted them to help me out and I knew that going in as annoyed as I was at life would not help my cause. So, yes, I had a little bit of ulterior motive. But I knew I could choose.

Sleep-deprived and hot, I had little patience and kindness on my own, so I purposely pulled out my shirt from the mission trip to wear: I wanted to remind myself that I was chosen -- and I wanted to choose to act like royalty.

It's a daily decision, this royalty business. I get immensely frustrated with people who "show their tail" when it will reflect poorly on a group that I am affiliated with -- but how often does my impatience, selfishness, and judgmental heart reflect poorly on the God I worship?

This thought continues to roll around in my head... that I have been chosen, so I can choose to be. Today... then again tomorrow.

*************************************************************************************

COMPLETE side note/ public service announcement for you if you are reading this on the day I write it:
Get your free Slurpee at 7-11 today!! And... choose to act like royalty when you do! :-) Enjoy!

Air Conditioner Out in Texas in July? SCORE!

"Umm... why is the air blowing hot air?"

No one wants to hear this at 6 p.m on a July afternoon in Texas, when we definitely like our air of the cool variety.

Oh, yes. Like about 80% of everyone else that we know, our air conditioner simply couldn't keep up with the horrific heat this week.

We commiserated with the dog, trapped in her fur coat. We tried, valiantly, to put a happy face on it. But when it came down to it... we were all miserable.

We spent one night in the heat. Woke up to house at 82*, outside at 75*. Urg.

The kids were already heading out to meet a group at amusement parks for a couple of days. Troy and I scheduled our repair guy -- for two days out -- and used hotwire to book a (NICE) hotel for the night.

Until I could get in the hotel I did a few things at the house, with temps climbing to around 87* in the house. Partly from partial heat stroke, partly from sleep deprivation due to sleeping in a hot house, and partly from just trying to be okay, I realized it's not completely terrible if your air goes out in the summer in Texas.

Therefore, in no certain order, the good parts about going without air conditioning in July in Texas:

-- The SAVINGS!! Not running your unit for almost 3 days!

-- The earnings potential! You could open a Bikram Yoga studio in your living room!

-- Your pores look AMAZING after being in your own little homemade sauna all day long.

-- No need to eat (who's hungry?) while sitting in the sauna, so the pounds fall off.

-- It is a true emergency to go spend a night at a hotel. Thank you, Dave Ramsey emergency fund!

Obviously all of the savings (and earnings!) could have been completely wiped out by the verdict of "your system needs to be replaced..." But, thank you, Lord! The verdict was (I kid you not) the capacitor. I want it to be the flux capacitor so that Michael J. Fox will show up in a DeLorean and take me away to a simpler time.

Best thing, hands down? When it starts working again!

So very very happy to be going to bed in a cool house!

Dear Running Dude

(now that I am on my Facebook fast, the blog will get my drive-by thoughts again. Won't that be fun?)

Dear Runner Dude,

You totally kept me going today. I had a 5 mile run today (that I am still walk/running). Want to know something HILARIOUS -- so I am at about mile 3.9, running with my iPhone for my music and Nike+ training thing, and I checked my training plan on SmartCoach to see the pace I should be going my 5 miles. Because I am a turtle and today I totally blew that turtle business out of the water... for the first 3.5 miles. Then the turtles passed me and laughed and gathered their friends around to point and laugh.

It was at this point (the 3.9 mile mark, checking my SmartCoach) that I noticed that I wasn't even supposed to be going 5 miles today. My training plan said 4 miles. Isn't that SO! FUNNY! Um... yeah, it wasn't to me at the time, either. But I was out for 5 and I had already planned to do 5 AND I had already told my Nike+ thing that I was doing 5 and I couldn't have that little piece of electronics mocking me, now could I?

So I kept going -- did I mention I was at the corner where I could have turned to come home? Or I could have kept going straight up a hill... Up the hill I went. Into the sun. I did decide not to add an extra loop and I was running less and walking more and, in short, dying. I convinced myself to run in little 30 second shuffles.

I finally was getting toward the end. Mainly the part where I was heading down the hill toward home. I didn't care what Nike+ said, I was just going home. Since I was heading down a hill I talked myself into going for broke and running for a whole 60 seconds.

As soon as I started running I saw Mr. Runner Dude coming around the corner towards me -- which meant... up the hill. More overweight than I am, pouring buckets of sweat like I was, but running the whole time. He's probably some awesome distance runner, just in what they call the "Clydesdale" division (and I am SO not entering a race that has a Clydesdale division for me -- I have a very brave friend that I shall not call out that faithfully reads my blog that entered a race and was in the Clydesdale division for her age group... and she's smaller than me!! I would. have. DIED!!)

When I passed him, I yelled, "Good job! We're doing it!" and truly hope he didn't think I considered myself some super-awesome runner being condescending to him. Oh, no. I hope he goes home and pops open the Gatorade and scouts out random blogs and happens across mine and finds out that he kept me running today -- because he chugged it UP the hill when I barely could run down at that point in my run.

So... thanks, Mr. Runner Dude. You never know when the little thing you're doing encourages someone else to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

P.S. I got in front of my house -- Nike+ read 4.90 miles. Doh! Went to the end of the street and back. Boom! Done...

Welcome Back to Me!

Whoa. It's been... a VERY long while.

If you're still here, glad to have you. Last I posted, I was telling you that Troy and I were trying to adjust to living together. Think we're still trying to adjust. That and this town-o-concrete and the driving. I don't mind the driving but all of it takes very, very long to do.

We have celebrated my grandmother's 100th birthday, painted over some wallpaper, and the kids and I went on a mission trip to the Rio Grande Valley and just returned Friday night. NOW let summer begin.

I know I SAY this all the time, but I plan to get back to the blog more regularly. One way I plan to do that is get away from Facebook (which will keep some of you from knowing that I have updated my blog). I plan to shut down my Facebook account for the month of July. I have many things I want to concentrate on, and Facebook isn't one of them.

Our mission trip was truly bittersweet and a great time for us. It was tough to make the effort to go, but I'm so glad that we did. The kids all had a great time. It was the 3rd year in a row for Ashley and me, and Riley's first year. Lives change when kids see what a difference it makes to serve others. I'm noticing that and mindful of that as we start looking at where to serve in a church now.

"Church shopping" -- there's a weird thing to say and do. Not super fun, either. Think we have a fairly good plan in place, but it's still not a ton of fun.

Also trying to get hooked back up with exercise but REALLY missing my gym buddies from Abilene -- isn't accountability a great thing? Isn't a cheap gym membership a great thing? Starting over. In every area. I admit it can become overwhelming at times.

So. Looking toward the 4th. What's everybody up to? We have a bazillion options in our huge city now. I suspect we'll end up doing what we've always done -- a big fat nothing.

What about you? Does your family have big plans for the 4th?

Marriage Monday: Time To Reconnect

Well... hello there.

It's me. My name is Sarah. I blog occasionally. When my life isn't in grand upheaval.

You'll notice this is a "Marriage Monday" post. I STARTED to write 2 weeks ago: for optimal marital health,

never,
never,
never,
never,
NEVER
move. The end.

It still isn't bad advice, but I'm not sure it's reasonable.

We got moved into our house (with a little tension) and a few days of settling in, but I had to return to the other town (200 miles away) for the kids to finish school. And they did. Stellarly. (That isn't a word. But my kids are awesome and I am proud). My kids maintained great grades, played in their respective band concerts, fought bronchitis, and slept in 6 different places the last 4 weeks of school. No sweat. Seriously. I'm kind of goofy-over-the-top proud of them.

So marriage Monday stuff. So Thursday the kids got out of school at noon. I loaded them, the dog (who had been staying with a friend), the computer tower (that had been being repaired by another friend), a trombone and clarinet and all of our luggage in the truck and headed over. Now my husband and I are living together for more than 48 hours at a stretch for the first time in 6 months. Not. Even. Kidding. 6 months.

A bit of an adjustment. He is so happy to have us here and with him -- and has mentioned more than once how much lower his stress level is with us here -- and I am happy to be here with him and just flat happy to have a HOUSE after 3 weeks of floating.

But the reality is that not only are we adjusting to living together, the kids and I are adjusting to living in a new town. In other words, stress level is high.

I have to check my heart and my words quite frequently these days. I want to lash out -- and have more times than I care to admit. I want to be selfish -- and am too frequently. I have been in charge and queen of my domain now for 6 months. Troy has been basically a bachelor for 6 months. There will be some adjustment.

I know the main thing I need to be doing that I have sadly neglected -- time in God's word. I need to surround and fill myself with His word to remind me that this, my family, is my blessing and my calling and that His love, according to 1 Corinthians 13, is kind, patient, not rude or easily angered, and never fails. Yeah. I'm gonna need some divine help for that.

So look for me back here. Feel free to say a prayer as we learn our new town, each other (again) and our new neighbors. I'll be digging into God's word to be reminded of what this all means.

Friday Friends

Most of us have seen this, but I think this is simply a great reminder for all of us:

Marriage Monday: This is "Worse"; Are You In?

If you haven't kept up with the schedule, this is it! This is the week that movers put my belongings on a truck, my family moves into a hotel, then into a house, then in with friends, all the while doing a wildflower project for Pre-AP Biology, a band concert, and having some sort of honor bestowed upon a student. It's just a wee bit cuckoo 'round here. No wonder someone woke up with a stomach ache.

To add to the cuckiness, two weeks ago there was a ginormous hail storm (that 2 days later produced horrifically deadly tornadoes as it moved east -- don't worry, I have it in perspective!) and the new owners of my home would like all of their shingles to be in one piece, thankyouveruhmuch, so I have thrown a roofer who REALLY likes to ring my doorbell, insurance adjustors and paperwork into the mix.

Of course all of this Troy and I have tackled as a team, yet from 200 miles apart. Thank you, Lord, for electronic media!

Last week my parents came in and helped me pack. They are most precious and understand that my exercise is my sanity. They would send me on my way while they packed a box or 20. On one very brief run I ran by a vehicle that had been shoe polished: "I love you SO much!" on one window. "So glad you're mine!" on another. Didn't see the others. I'm sure they were equally gooey.

I smiled at the sentiment. I would have -- and probably have done -- equally sweet things. But to the shoe polish author I want to ask: "Are you all the way in? Will you still be there when it's hard? You're here for the better... what about the worse?"

Years ago I wrote about what real love looks like -- and it isn't pretty. It's slogging through times like these knowing you'll come out better.

Perhaps it's unfair to call this season of transition "worse" -- Troy and I have lived through the absolute worst a marriage could go through, and this is nowhere close. As long as two people are working together toward a common goal, it isn't the worse, no matter how far apart geography separates them. However, in no form or fashion can this be construed as one of the sunshiny parts of life, either.

I'm so thankful this season of separation is ending, but I know when it ends there will be a season of adjustment and healing. And, as in this season, God will be in it all.

Friday Fun

Teacher Appreciation

This month includes teacher appreciation week. Every year I promise myself that starting in April I will get all of my ducks in a row and do something excessively wonderful for all of my children's teachers. And every April looks just like the last where I finish out the month with disheveled hair and wild eyes screaming, "What was THAT??"

I rarely do anything excessively wonderful for my children's teachers but I do appreciate them.

I always tell people that my philosophy on choosing how to educate your children (public, private, or home) is to do it prayerfully and carefully, and be willing to admit at any moment that it is no longer working for your family and change gears.

Thus far, we have been in public schools. Thus far, I still cannot believe how blessed my children have been with teachers and administrators. I do not request or choose teachers for my children, I pray and let the One who knit them and knew them before I did choose my children's teachers for them. He has never failed.

Yes, my children are my responsibility. Beyond my responsibility, they are little pieces of my heart out walking around on this planet. But research tells us that the more adults my children have that take an interest in their lives and have a relationship with my children, the more successful they will be in all areas of life. My children's teachers have not disappointed.

To you, precious people, words are not enough. How do you say 'thank you for being a brush stroke and background lighting for this masterpiece of a human'? How can I tell each of you that your delight in my child's successes fanned into flame a passion that will carry them into adulthood? You have pointed out strengths and pushed them along and kept them from doing 'just enough'.

None of you have let my children blend into the background. You have encouraged and cheered, praised and prodded, expected the best and never accepted the worst.

I have done your job. That is why I am now not doing your job. It is NOT for the faint of heart (or weary of foot). It is for people with tender hearts, thick skin, and a million hugging arms. It is for people with cast iron stomachs, bladders of elastic, and Solomon's wisdom.

I know that by this time of year you don't want to be appreciated by any way other than a day away from these people and you wonder if you would actually come back. But for some crazy reason, back you come. Sometimes you wonder if it's just your car coming out of habit.

Even at middle school level, you wouldn't believe how much I hear about you and how you touch my child's life and shape their values by what you find funny, the way you treat other students, and even the music played in your class; how your sad days will make my tender-hearted child's heart ache until you are smiling again.

You live in my neighborhood, worship at our church, exercise at my gym, shop at my grocery store. We see you and feel like a part of your life. You are a beloved part of my family, but not the crazy faction that we try to abstain from visiting. And I am part of yours -- if for no other reason than the fact that you have given your all to my children and there is little of you left by the end of the day. Thank you, and thank your family for us, too.

I can't say thank you enough or adequately. But I do thank you, and pray frequently for you. This time of year, my prayer is "strength for the journey". May you truly have strength for your journey, and countless blessings in your life for the blessing you are in mine.

I thank my God every time I remember you. Philippians 1:3

Mom? I'm Bored

originally in Abilene Families
posted here on 4/21/10

I was in the shower. Alone, as tends to be my practice. So a child wandered into the bathroom, of course. Does anyone remember back before they had kids when a bathroom was a sanctuary instead of a thoroughfare? Me neither.

“Mom? I’m bored...”

This was the first day of spring, the last day of spring break. Yeah, the day it snowed? That one. When we had all had all the fun with each other we could stand and couldn’t go outside. I could understand the boredom, but did I mention I was in the shower?

Hmmmm.... I would have to think on this one. Since I didn’t bring my “Bag-o-Entertainment” into the shower with me, I called out ideas:

“You could fold the clothes in the dryer!”

“What about picking up all those things off the floor of your room?”

“I’ve got it! You could write a 500-word essay on how my mom made my spring break the awesomest ever!” (My kids are accustomed to their writer mom using invented words such as “ridonkulous” or “awesomest”. Do not attempt until your children know the difference).

I couldn’t see the accompanying eye roll, but the child did wander away. Hoping for less sarcasm, I presume, though I was perfectly serious with all of those options as something to do.

When the kids were younger I had an “I’m Bored” jar. It had slips of paper in it with different activities on each slip of paper. Some of the activities may be a fun idea: “Build a fort with the covers from your bed,” “Draw a picture for Nonna and Grandad,” or “Play hopscotch with Mom.”

However, some of the activities weren’t so fun: “Clean windows for 10 minutes,” “Give the dog a bath,” or “Clean out a dresser drawer”. So, it was a gamble to draw from the jar -- would it be something fun or not? A job or a joy? (A funny side note: in asking my kids about their memory of this jar, they did not believe that I had any fun things in the jar, only jobs).

I found out which of my children will lose their shirts in Vegas as an adult, and which of the two isn’t willing to risk anything. Oh, don’t act as if you don’t want to encourage gambling in your children. I’ve seen you at Gatti’s.

One of my children never tried. One of them tried a few times, though I kept the jar on a shelf for a year or two. If nothing else, it kept the complaints to a minimum. Rather than complain to me and be threatened with drawing from the jar that I now realize they thought only contained jobs, they went off and found something to do that entertained themselves. I guess in that regard it promoted creativity, as well.

Perhaps it’s time for a teen version of the “I’m Bored” jar. However, most of the jobs my kids are capable of doing, they already do. Some fall into the “you live here, eat my food, wear my clothes, and use my gasoline so I expect you to do that” category, and a few are the “I’ll pay you ‘x’ for doing this” category. For those that I’ll pay them to do, I can’t afford to have them draw out of the job jar every time they get bored.

But who really has time to be bored anyway? What with all the texting, Facebooking, and I-have-to-be-there-5-minutes-ago going on. And soon (oh, all too soon) it will be friends picking up in the car going here and there, hither and yon. I’m not sure I’m ready for that, either.

Perhaps I will make myself a prayer jar, full to overflowing, with the prayers of a momma who realizes that these babies were never really hers to keep anyway. And, eventually, perhaps I shall shower in peace, as well.

It's Almost Dump Day!!

Tomorrow will be a huge day around the Internets and you are not going to want to miss out!

My friend, Trey Morgan, is hosting the 2nd Annual Dump Day! What in heaven's name is Dump Day? You will be so glad you asked. Trey regularly (twice a year, I think) travels to Honduras and takes a group with him. While there, one of the traditions they have established (I think this happens more often than when Trey goes -- I know about it through Trey) is to have what they call a "Jesus Banquet" at the dump. You see, there is an entire community of people living at the dump in Honduras so that they can find food on a regular basis: Luke 4:12-13 “When you give a dinner or a banquet, don’t invite your friends and family and relatives and rich neighbors. If you do, they will invite you in return, and you will be paid back. When you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.”

Trey's team took Luke 4:12-13 quite literally. They go to the dump in Tegucigalpa, Honduras and prepare a banquet. A sit-down banquet: tables, chairs, silverware, a place to wash up, napkins -- and as much food as the diners can hold.Last year Trey fasted, prayed, and raised money for Jesus Banquets on the 1st Annual Dump Day. God completely overwhelmed Trey (and me) by how many people were moved to respond. Trey was hoping to raise about $10,000. By late evening he had $19,000! Wow, huh? However... Bread for a Hungry World contacted Trey and said if Dump Day raised $25,000 by midnight -- they would match it! Whoa! Guess what? Done!

Now the story behind this little girl:
Trey saw her at one point when he walked off by himself. She was completely alone, with her head resting on the cardboard. Shaking with chills from fever, she was obviously ill, even before he witnessed her turn her head aside to vomit. He had no idea if there were any parents or siblings around or who even knew that she was sick. He offered her what he had -- a few pieces of hard candy and a smile -- and prayed for her. She has haunted me.

Germophobe friends/ moms out there: can you imagine having to live at a dump and finding food for your children there? Can you imagine the sicknesses that must ravage their tiny little bodies from living under those conditions? Obviously a Jesus Banquet is a band-aid on a huge problem, but the funds donated are able to go beyond just one day every few months, especially as more people respond.

Trey has a Q&A about Dump Day here. Please be in prayer about what you may be able to give tomorrow. My family is in the middle of a move (read: hemorrhaging cash). I haven't decided yet what we will give, but it will be something. I typically have about 75 people visit my blog in a day. What if each person were able to give $10? That would be $750 for Dump Day! Huge stuff!

I can't wait. God always does big stuff when His people work together! Let's do it!

Marriage Monday: Give Up on The Fairy Tale, Put on The Work Boots

With all the hooplah of the last weeks/ months of the royal wedding, I have been intrigued by the attention focused on the couple. Perhaps I've been more intrigued by how little interest I had in it.

I am not critical of people who were interested in getting up in the middle of the night for it -- there are VERY few things that I will allow to interrupt my sleep, and a wedding of someone not in my immediate family is not one of them. I won't do middle of the night openings of movies, book releases, bargain sales, or store openings either. Maybe if my child were completing an around the world journey on foot or by sea. Maybe -- but I would request them to arrive at a more convenient hour for me.

Something said on "wedding day" -- I'm sure it was said more than once but I avoided fanfare as much as I could -- made me realize what makes me uncomfortable about all of the attention... besides the fact that the lauding from the balcony borders on worship and gives me the heebie jeebies. I heard a radio DJ -- I'm sure not the first person -- mention that it was our "modern day fairy tale".

Wait. There's already been a modern day fairy tale:
Sooooo... how'd that one work out? Color me jaded and cynical, but I just know that this fairy tale day will evaporate into a real life drama of hurts and wounds and health problems and family crises.

I know because it happened to my very own fairy tale wedding and marriage -- only without the paparazzi.

Again, it's fine if you want to become absorbed in this "fairy tale world" -- but if you are dragging your daughters into it, I pray you are spending equal time letting them know that the ONLY rider on a white horse in our fairy tale is Jesus Christ (Revelation 19:11). He is the only one whose love will never fail us, and who will never disappoint us.

I pray all the time for the spouses my children will choose -- that they will be godly men and women who will strengthen their walk with the Lord and complement my children's spiritual gifts. But they will be human. And my children will be human. And the marriage will be work. And there will be heartaches and sad times and difficult things and disappointments.

No, I don't fault anyone that wants to start off a marriage with a lovely ceremony and all manner of fanfare -- don't we all? But I think I bristle at the "fairy tale" concept. Because it simply doesn't work. Because everyone knows that with fairy tale comes "happily ever after" -- and we won't get to happily ever after until that rider on the white horse comes again. I, for one, cannot wait!

Until then, I have much work to do. I must be in prayer for my spouse. I will be honoring my spouse with my words. (LOVED this post from last week -- needed the reminder so much!) I am a co-laborer with him on this planet. And I will disappoint him. And he will disappoint me. And I will forgive. And we will go on because we have committed to each other. It will be hard and beautiful and lovely and messy and hurtful and determined.

It doesn't look like happily ever after. But it's a pretty good thing we have here.

Friday Fun

It's been a LOOOOOOOOONG week, y'all.

Yesterday it was summed up thusly: driving the kids to school we got stuck behind a garbage truck. Literally had a plastic bag, milk carton, and lettuce leaf rain on us before I ran over the dead possum. Too fitting.

THEN just this minute I went and stood in the garage over gasoline cans to unpack a box to fish out a USB port that one child "had to have" and I will give it an 87% chance that upon producing it for same child, the response will be, "Oh... never mind. My partner has one." It's just the way the week has gone.

So, I really needed some laughs. And Tim Hawkins ALWAYS delivers. Enjoy!

Praying for the South

Our family had lived in this house (and town) 6 months when a flood hit this area. While we "only" got 8 or 9 inches in our house, if you know anything about flooding, that is total devastation to the construction of the house, as well as MANY belongings.

We would rip out carpet, sheetrock, throw away ruined belongings. When my being and brain couldn't stand it anymore, I would step outside to catch my breath -- and that was equally depressing. For as far as my eyes could see from my front door, people were in the same situation. Neighbors were helping each other haul personal belongings and treasures to the side of the road for the National Guard to come and toss it away, ruined. It looked like a war zone, only with the houses still standing.

We were unable to live in our house for 6 months and when we moved back in we had no kitchen -- NOTHING, no floors anywhere other than the carpet in the bedrooms, and only one functioning toilet, shower and bathtub -- but no sinks. We brushed our teeth and washed our hands in the bathtub.

Of the things I have been through in my life -- unemployment, marriage implosion, etc. -- I cannot walk back through the time of the flood. I testify to a lot of things and tell of God's grace and faithfulness through it all, and of course that is true of the flood as well, but that is SUCH a black time for me that I simply can't talk about it. There are many factors that make that true, but it causes me to just cringe at natural disasters for people.

I think about the fact that many of the people facing the rebuilding after a tornado won't even have a front door to step outside. Many will be facing rebuilding while grieving the loss of a loved one - or more than one. And I imagine that it will be a season of blackness for a very long time for so many people. It will be a years-long process of fighting back and standing together, grieving what was and building what will be.

As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you. 1 Samuel 12:23

John Dobbs has an excellent list of resources and ways to help on his blog.

An Ordinary Spring Day

One of those clear spring perfect temperature days is so rare here in Abilene, but this one was. The blue of the sky seemed to be from a movie set, too brilliant to be real. Grass was coming in emerald green, causing dads to think about mowing and moms to think about pedicures. The day held the promise that not one thing could possibly go wrong.

A TAKS testing day, even the state of Texas agreed: this should be a regular old school day, only quieter. Students should come to school well fed and well rested. The state couldn’t do much about how badly those same students longed to be outside in the glorious weather, if a tad on the windy side. It seemed the only danger of the day would be a wayward toddler, blown away by the stiff West Texas wind.

But then.

Sirens began to sound, phones began to ring, news crews were rounded up. “Officer down.” Officer Rodney Holder, killed in a motorcycle collision on Sayles Boulevard. Abilene took a collective gasp.

The loss of Officer Holder struck my own family to our core, as his family is dear to each of us. Officer Holder was “our officer” at our local elementary school. Tall and imposing in his uniform, Officer Holder was a regular figure on campus.

If you needed an officer to remind you not to do drugs, Officer Holder would come. If you needed a safety vehicle, Officer Holder would bring his motorcycle or a police car. The kids and parents knew him and his wide smile, a regular presence, the very symbol of safety and security.

*Officer Holder, right, with his friend and mine, Officer Ricker.

Things like losing a police officer aren’t supposed to happen on a regular day, are they? It was a TAKS day, for crying out loud. Mrs. Holder, the school counselor, had TAKS tests to distribute and count and sign and keep watch over. No, this day had taken a meteoric leap.

The occasions I have been blessed to be riding in a car while “great with child,” heading to the hospital to deliver the baby, I have been very mindful that the day around me is an ordinary day for those driving past, yet my world was shifting on its axis, never to return.

The same thought occurs riding in a funeral procession, watching people stop to buy gasoline or groceries, or fill up at the drive thru or catch a movie. Life is forever changed, yet somehow it goes on for the rest of the world.

Many phrases can cause a life to turn upside down in an instant: “The doctor called. It’s not good.” “They cut my job.” “Mom...(insert any of a million ways your child’s world could be rocked).” “I’m so sorry. There isn’t anything else we can do.” “There’s been an accident.”

In those moments, the lens of life seems to tighten into sharper focus. What is truly important becomes clear: those that we love, the things in life that will last, and the grievances that are worth getting upset about.

Turns out, there are only a precious few things in life worth taking the time and energy to fuss about when life is so dear. May my ordinary day words to my children be, “Have a great day! I love you!” Turns out, all too often, it’s, “Don’t slam the door!” or “You didn’t forget your lunch AGAIN, did you?”

As the weather continues to warm and we are again blessed with azure skies, emerald grass and just a little too much wind, I remember Officer Holder. I will back my foot off of the gas pedal, as I do tend to drive a little, um, “efficiently” I like to call it. Officer Holder called it speeding and longed for the streets of Abilene to be safe.

I will clutch my babies and my spouse just a little too long every morning, being sure they know I love them before life flies past us.

Thank you, Officer Holder, for continuing to teach the city of Abilene.

Thankful for all of our men and women in uniform, as well as their families, for whom there are no ordinary days.

Officer Rodney Holder, E.O.W.: April 29, 2010.

This Day Ordained

(a variation on an original posting from 10/6/08)

I don't have much time here today, but wanted to share with you just a little of what God is putting on my heart. My time with the Lord has been so precious lately, and it seems that every little piece of scripture speaks right to my heart and where I am now. The ever-changing application of scripture always makes me think of Isaiah 55:10,11:

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Indeed, the Lord's word will not return empty! I would also like to HIGHLY recommend this book for praying the scriptures: Kenneth Boa's Face to Face
My mom recommended it to me and I have loved it. For me, it is the best book I have found about consistently praying the scriptures, not just when you need to pray over a certain stronghold. It never fails to bring tears to my eyes.

Today, one of the prayers included a portion of Psalm 139:
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-16

I had to pause over the last sentence in v. 16: All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Ordained: one definition is, "confer holy orders on".

This day. This Tuesday. This Tuesday that has changed plans minimum 15 times and it's barely begun. This Tuesday full of insurance claims, my aging body, boxes to pack, laundry, missed deadlines and looming deadlines, movers to schedule, and 12 other things I feel certain I have forgotten. This day has been ordained for me and written in His book. All of the clutter and dirt and bills and obstacles are all part of the day He ordained for me.

They are blessings and distractions, responsibilities and privileges, all capable of being offered up as a sacrifice of praise. I must have forgotten Beth's encouragement to us to get up every morning, look in the mirror, and say, "I am a PRINCESS! I have an inheritance!" I AM a princess, and today my inheritance is to do the little things with holiness. For today has been ordained for me.

I have become convinced, more than ever, that God's glory is in this day, just like every other. My prayer through all of this craziness in my life is not to miss it. May my eyes be trained to seek out His glory and goodness in this day. This day ordained for me.

Marriage Monday: Invest in Your Marriage

Today on Marriage Monday I will be speaking to all marriages -- in and out of crisis. Because investing in your marriage is something we all need to do. It can be a preventive or reparative measure, depending on where your marriage is, but we all need to invest in our marriage.

"Invest" can mean a whole list of things: time, money, emotion, energy, whatever. We seem to be short on all of those around here, so it would mean a lot to invest that toward a marriage.

Of course, "investing" can be as simple as a date night, or as extensive/ expensive as a week's vacation away, or an extended time in therapy (I'm not joking -- you may need either, and you can decide which you need the most). Therapy can be costly, but, again, it's an investment that is well worth your marriage.

Think about your television and all that goes to it: Netflix, cable, etc. You should spend at least as much time and money on your marriage as you do in front of the television and on the television, I think. You may even think so, too, and wish your spouse would do that. Well, if you have some leeway in your family's budget or money that is yours "for fun", make that your "date money" -- don't resent your spouse for not thinking of it, bless your spouse and think of it for them.

Dates or mini-vacations don't have to be expensive (TRUST me-- I am the queen of going cheap on this) the important thing is that you take the time to go be with your spouse. Swap babysitting with another couple and just go for ice cream if you have to, but have date time for you.

Beyond dates and time for you, I strongly encourage you to also spend time learning. I confess that I spent YEARS thinking that I had heard PLENTY on the subject of marriage (and, no doubt, I was blessed in my early years to hear a LOT on the subject) but God continues to humble me and reveal to me that there is always more to learn or a new way to think about an old adage.

There is no shortage of resources for learning about marriage: workshops, retreats, books, etc. I have several that I, personally, recommend (DISCLAIMER: some of these I recommend based on personal knowledge, and some of these I recommend based on the advice of others).

Lifeway has a marriage retreat weekend in several cities throughout the country. I have not personally attended one, but they seem VERY reasonably priced for the caliber of experts that are speaking -- with lunch included!

If none of this appeals to you, consider a simple book study. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas would be first on my list. Gather friends or a small group around you and go through the book together. Or, if you have the opportunity to go to an event where Gary Thomas is speaking, by all means go.

You may be just FIRED UP to go, yet thinking, "Oh, s/he would NEVER go for it... s/he would think it is stupid/ too expensive/ waste of time/ name a reason."

Don't assume your spouse's feelings before you have communicated your own feelings to your spouse.

If you have had conversations in the past that lead you to believe that this conversation may not go well, start by taking your desires before the Lord (Psalm 37:4). After you have prayed about it, tell your spouse: "This event is really important to me to understand you better. Do you have any interest in going?" If yes, then super and start making arrangements. If no, then drop it -- and you have to decide if going alone will build up more resentment for you or you will be able to lay that aside and benefit from the lessons there.

Don't waste time being hurt or resentful that your spouse won't take the lead in any of this. There may be any of a million reasons for that, and if you are a Christian, you are coming at marriage as serving your spouse. How can you serve your spouse? Serve your spouse by taking him/her on a date. Serve your spouse by learning all that you can about how to serve him/ her better. Serve your spouse by knowing and loving God the Father above all so that His love can spill over onto your spouse, also.

Spend your time, money, and energy on your marriage. Invest in your marriage. The dividends are so rewarding.

It's Friday, but Sunday's Coming

For years, the phrase "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming" was one of the most popular searches that brought people to my blog -- especially around this time of year -- because of this post (which means my punkin' little friend Levi turned 5 years old last week! Where does the time go??)

I am currently reading an AMAZING book. No, I'm not exaggerating.

Amazing.

Go. Here.

Order with one-click. Amazing.

So. This morning, this Good Friday morning, I read it briefly as my house came awake. Here are the words I read:

"I awaken to the strange truth that all new life comes out of the dark places, and hasn't it always been? Out of darkness, God spoke forth teeming life. . . . Out of the dark, tender life unfurled. Out of my own inner pitch, six human beings emerged, new life, wet and fresh.
All new life labors out of the very bowels of darkness.
That fullest life itself dawns from nothing but Calvary darkness and tomb - cave black into the radiance of Easter morning.
Out of the darkness of the cross, the world transfigures into new life. And there is no other way.
Then ... yes: It is dark suffering's umbilical cord that alone can untether new life.
It is suffering that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace.
And grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering overcomes the suffering.
I need to breathe."

Indeed. This is what the cross means to each of us. Grace. Overcoming suffering.

So very thankful.

Here is Tony Campolo with the sermon that started that phrase: