Marriage Monday: Pray for Your Spouse

Hey y’all! I trust that everyone had a restful weekend.... I know. Rolling my eyes here, too. We don’t do those in early December, do we? Surely the Lord’s birth means flit to and fro like a crazy person to band concerts, shopping malls, football games (oh, stars... I am just now drying out... good season, Eagles), adorable pageants and the like. All memories to behold.

For marriage Monday today, I want to encourage each of us -- starting with me -- to be faithful in prayer for our spouses. Praying WITH your spouse is also a beautiful, intimate exercise that shouldn’t be overlooked. But praying for your spouse is a privilege I want to encourage each of us to take on.

If you have been to Marriage Monday a time or two, you may know that I speak to marriages in crisis, as well as marriages in better places. ALL marriages will benefit from a praying spouse.

If you are a marriage in crisis, sometimes it’s hard to pray for your spouse without praying for your spouse to be an entirely different person altogether. Last week in Bible class at church someone mentioned that their children like to use evening prayers to tattle to God about their siblings and try to get God to fix them:

“And, Lord, please remind Caitlyn to ask me before she uses any of my stuff... even though I will probably say ‘no’...”

“Dear God, please help Holly not to be so mean and bossy all the time...”

When Troy and I have been in the worst places of our marriage, I prayed to know how to love him more purely. I prayed that our marriage would be healed. I prayed to forgive past hurts so that I could see when he was making honest efforts toward our marriage.

I’m sure I have prayed for Troy to be someone he’s not -- but my pride is preventing me from remembering it right now. :-)

I wrote an article about a time that I drew a line in the sand with the Lord and told him I wasn’t going to forgive Troy -- and the Lord pretty much crawled ALL up in my grill ‘bout that. (Note to self: don’t do that to the Lord.)

Now that we are at least on a somewhat even keel around here, I try to remember that it is my honor and my privilege to pray for my husband. There are SO many things I can pray for on a daily basis - too many to list here.

If I truly listen to him when he comes home from work, that is a huge pile of concerns and burdens on his heart that I can pray peace over for him. I pray over his friendships, that he would be led to godly men that would encourage him in his walk of faith. I do pray for him as a father, not to “fix” him, as mentioned before, but to strengthen him and guide him (pity’s sake -- who couldn’t use a little strength and guidance as a parent these days??)

If you are thankful for your husband, a) TELL HIM REGULARLY and b) thank God for him regularly. But also remember to ask him what you can be praying for for him. He may just give voice to that which you already know, or he may pour out a concern that you had no idea he was struggling with.

I found this list that includes ways to pray for your spouse.

And, many of you are probably familiar with the “Power of a Praying” series by Stormie O’Martian. Those are good -- but you need a full hour of prayer time if you are going to be a powerfully praying wife, parent, daughter, friend, pet-owner, and citizen. But I do believe she has a great guideline to pray over those that you love on a daily basis.

Whether you fell like you need a guide or simply want to be consistent in your prayer life for your spouse, just be sure you are praying. And I will join you in being more faithful. And we can revolutionize the world with prayed over spouses and marriages!

What about you? Do you have great resources or words of encouragement for praying for your spouse?

Praying for Marlie Ruth

First, I want to keep it real around here.

Yesterday, after I let you know how awesome my husband is - -he's still awesome -- we ended up having a shouting match last night. Over where a watermelon was in the kitchen. Not. Even. Kidding. (It was in plain sight/ tripping pattern -- hence, the problem). Just keepin' it real 'round here. Some days rainbows and lollipops, some days fights over watermelons.

Today I want to use my blog to ask for prayers for a newborn baby girl. I confess I am doing so without specific permission of the family, and that has been known to get me into trouble on more than one occasion.  But I'm going to step out here on faith and trust that asking for prayers from as many people as possible will be okay.

Marlie Ruth is six days old today. And I am writing this at 7:45 CST -- and her surgery should have already started. Before she was even born, she was found to have a brain tumor. She was born gorgeous and perfectly healthy -- except for that pesky little tumor -- last Thursday night.

Her parents, Kevin and Nathalie, are walking in faith.

Kevin writes on Marlie Ruth's carepages:

"The lead surgeon on the case will be Dr. Robert Bollo. Please lift him up in prayer and ask that God guides him to do his best work. We are praying that his surgery on Marlie will be Dr. Bollo's "masterpiece." 

Specifically, we additionally ask for prayers that - 
* Marlie's brain tumor will be removed in a successful surgery and she will complete the surgery and be a healthy baby girl. 
 * Marlie will have complete healing from this infirmity and from her surgery. * Marlie's brain tumor will be benign. 
* Our family will have peace, comfort and strong faith as we accept whatever result fulfills God's will."

Marlie Ruth has a sister and a brother: Maycie and Coleman.

Please say a prayer for this family today. I know they would appreciate every last prayer.

Prayers for All

The pictures of backpack-clad munchkins have begun cropping up on Facebook. The sales papers are full of crayons and glue sticks. You know what that means! It's TIME!

While I definitely have some of this guy's sentiment about it:


this year brings new heaviness to my heart as my kids are heading into uncharted territory (for them).

Next Monday I will take my 13 year old man-child to a school of 900 middle schoolers where he knows no one to start 8th grade. Then I will take my 15 year old daughter to a school of 1700, where she has had the good fortune of being in band camp for almost 3 weeks, so she has someone to sit with at lunch perhaps. Then I shall return to my house and cry for a good long while, I suppose.

I have told both of my kids that since I knew we would move (even when I didn't know WHEN we would move) I have been praying for their first day of school at their new school. Mainly -- that just ONE person would be gracious and friendly to them -- and eat lunch with them.

Of course, you and I know that in the global scheme of things there are much worse things than feeling completely left out on your first day of school in your new town.... but at 15 and 13, it's pretty hard to imagine what that would be.

So, as you are praying for your own children and their teachers, and please do be praying for teachers and administrators everywhere, it would honestly mean the world to me if you would remember to pray for my two. While we have had some bumps along the way, this summer has gone much better than I ever imagined, and I fully credit it to the prayers of folks like you.

And while I'm praying... feel free to leave any requests in the comments. I'll be talking to God, I would love to go to Him on your behalf as well.

Praying for the South

Our family had lived in this house (and town) 6 months when a flood hit this area. While we "only" got 8 or 9 inches in our house, if you know anything about flooding, that is total devastation to the construction of the house, as well as MANY belongings.

We would rip out carpet, sheetrock, throw away ruined belongings. When my being and brain couldn't stand it anymore, I would step outside to catch my breath -- and that was equally depressing. For as far as my eyes could see from my front door, people were in the same situation. Neighbors were helping each other haul personal belongings and treasures to the side of the road for the National Guard to come and toss it away, ruined. It looked like a war zone, only with the houses still standing.

We were unable to live in our house for 6 months and when we moved back in we had no kitchen -- NOTHING, no floors anywhere other than the carpet in the bedrooms, and only one functioning toilet, shower and bathtub -- but no sinks. We brushed our teeth and washed our hands in the bathtub.

Of the things I have been through in my life -- unemployment, marriage implosion, etc. -- I cannot walk back through the time of the flood. I testify to a lot of things and tell of God's grace and faithfulness through it all, and of course that is true of the flood as well, but that is SUCH a black time for me that I simply can't talk about it. There are many factors that make that true, but it causes me to just cringe at natural disasters for people.

I think about the fact that many of the people facing the rebuilding after a tornado won't even have a front door to step outside. Many will be facing rebuilding while grieving the loss of a loved one - or more than one. And I imagine that it will be a season of blackness for a very long time for so many people. It will be a years-long process of fighting back and standing together, grieving what was and building what will be.

As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you. 1 Samuel 12:23

John Dobbs has an excellent list of resources and ways to help on his blog.

How-To on Something Overly Simple: Bible Study

I wanted to share how I do my morning Bible Study when I'm not already in a Bible study (and sometimes when I am). You may already have your way, and that's awesome.

This is just one of those things that always was elusive to me. People would talk about their "quiet time" and "being with the Lord" and I needed someone to sit down and tell me: could you explain EXACTLY what you do when you have "quiet time"? Y'all, I'm a recipe person. Give me the recipe!

I actually had someone laugh at me when I mentioned I thought this would be a good topic to speak (briefly) on or write about -- but I stand by my thoughts. I don't think we decide to follow Jesus and automatically know how to spend time with him effectively. And, if you did know, then don't tell me. Let me think it's not just me..
So. My morning quiet time. For starters, I always like to be going through the entire Bible. Some people mention that they like to sometimes slow down and meditate on one or two passages or books a year. I, personally, don't feel like I am familiar enough with all of the Bible to go quite that slowly yet. However, I don't feel it necessary to go through the Bible in a year (guilt!) so I am using THIS awesome plan. (You HAVE to click over -- just to see the title!)

So, I'll do my reading (and/ or Bible study) then write in my prayer journal. My prayer journal is NEVER fancy. It is a 5"x8" 3-subject notebook that I buy in the school supply section of my local grocery store. Because it's mine, sometimes I'll pay a few extra bucks and get the bright colors.

In my prayer journal I start by responding to what I read. This is the main thing I wanted to share with you today. It is 2 sentences long, and has changed my Bible reading/ Bible study time more profoundly than anything else I can remember doing.

I put the date at the top (because I have a calendar brain and like to be able to look back at such things), then I write the passage that I read or the portion of the Bible study that I did. Then, I simply write: "God:____________________" and I write something that God does or did according to what I read. Then on the next line I write: "I:____________________" and write my response to what I read about God.

For instance, on February 15 of this year I evidently read Joshua 11-14. There are MANY things (battles) contained within those chapters, and some of it is horrifically boring (the division of land described by tree and creek and how each tribe received it). I chose just one thing I got out of that passage. It was from the very end of it.

I wrote:
"God keeps his promises, sometimes VERY slowly.
I need PATIENCE as the Lord works."

I wrote patience like that because it is one of my 4 words for the year -- I still pray over those every day.

Research shows that unless you do something to process what you hear or read within 45 seconds, it leaves your brain. This is my way of snagging what I've read, prayerfully hearing what the Lord wants me to absorb from what I've read, and applying it to myself. Of course, if a scripture stops me cold while I'm reading, I do the usual underlining, highlighting, and writing of that, as well.

Then I write out my prayer, being as specific as I have time for. I have my daily pleas and request on that page. At the back of my notebook I put things that will be ongoing requests: SELL THIS HOUSE, for example, someone with a chronic illness. It is also where I write the date of someone who passes away, remembering to pray for the family, and thinking to send them a card and/or Facebook message/ email when the anniversary of the death approaches.

That is how I do my Bible study/ prayer time. I would love to hear from you. What do you do that helps you absorb the Word? What are you working on now? Any tips or tricks?

Prayers for the Day

(sighing as I begin...)

Some of you may want to know "how was the funeral" -- it was awful and it was beautiful. It was lovely and amazing and painful and heartwrenching. All that you would expect. If you were there, you know. If you weren't, my apologies, but my words can't do it justice.

I can sum up -- over 700 people attended in a room designed for about 500. Dana, Brian's very brave and beautiful wife, felt called to speak, and did so eloquently and with grace. Most people's reaction is, "...HOW???" The only answer I have to that is, "By the grace of God." The same way she will put one foot in front of the other for many years to come. Dana spoke beautifully of their love for each other and their love for the Lord. She thanked both sets of parents for how much they had helped in their time of need. She didn't say this outright, but alluded to it and made me think -- don't wait until it's too late to honor and appreciate your spouse. Tell them now what s/he means to you.

Pray for Dana, and Rian, and Rhea, and Reid and all of us that are struggling through the pain of losing a dear and precious man.

In my Immanuel book, I came across a prayer that many of you may already be familiar with, that I love dearly. She refers to it as "The Breastplate of St. Patrick". You will find that in many different forms on the internet, but this small portion is a beautiful prayer to pray:

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Christ on my right hand, Christ on my left hand,
Christ all around me, shield in the strife;
Christ in my sleeping, Christ in my sitting,
Christ in my rising, light of my life.

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Then, Vann posted another beautiful prayer on his blog. I think if you pray the one above frequently, it will make the one below easier to pray.

Deliver me, Jesus, from the desire to be praised,
honored, glorified, preferred, consulted, or approved.
Deliver me, Jesus, from the fear of being humiliated,
criticized, forgotten, ridiculed, maltreated, and
from the fear of what others will think.
O Jesus give me the grace to desire: that others
would be loved and esteemed ahead of me,
that in the eyes of the world they would increase
while I decrease, and praised while I pass by
unnoticed; that others would be preferred in all
situations; that others would become more than
myself -- in order that I would be as holy as You
want me to be. -- Charles de Foucauld

And, today, praying that you are blessed beyond measure.

Tomorrow, I promise to LIGHTEN UP around here! I do have some fun things to take care of on the old blog, and some other fun things to talk about. But, I honestly need you to help me find my holiday spirit. What can I do to find some holiday spirit?

Who Am I?

A week ago my hair looked like this:

and my car looked like this:

Now my hair looks like this:

and my car looks like this:

A week of changes at my house. Yes, I know you are thinking I'm gearing up for that landmark birthday, but if my very old, very mine-all-mine car could have made it another 6 months, we would still have it. But it scared me and God took care of us in getting another. And so did Troy. :-)

Obviously, none of these things define me, but I have to say that I've waved and waved at several people in the past week -- in my car and face to face -- that have seemed to look right through me. A few politely smiled back. Oh, well. Maybe I could pull off some huge prank right now -- nah, who has the energy?

So, I'm still trying to figure out who I am in the mirror and which car is mine in the parking lot (seriously, I haven't had to press the alarm YET to figure it out, but I'm afraid I will soon...!) Someone mentioned that I finally have the hair to fit my personality: sassy! :-) I do like the word 'sassy' and I think it fits me just perfectly.

That word calls to mind one silly night at Bunco. Autum and I were deciding everyone should have a nickname that was alliterative with their first name. I made her Awesome Autum and she made me Sassy Sarah. She called me Sassy for months after that.

What would your alliterative name be?

On a much more serious note, please pray for this precious punkin' having very serious surgery that I don't fully understand. Tell the Lord to hold Stellan and the doctors operating on him. God knows the rest.

Some 'Housekeeping' Business

First, please pray for Trinity. Her parents put her to bed after fighting a cold Saturday night and couldn't wake her late Sunday morning. Her acid levels are high as if she drank antifreeze -- but they don't think she ingested anything weird. Just don't know. Pray and pray some more.

Some of you have asked how I know who comes to my blog. I don't know specifically, but I can make some educated guesses. If I REALLY wanted to know, I could pay for a service that would tell me which COMPUTER visited my blog. Freaky, right? I use a service called sitemeter. It's very interesting for tracking traffic trends for my blog. WHICH can become a total obsession if you let it! Sitemeter can tell me the city of the SERVER that your computer uses (my server is in a little town outside of Abilene, I've learned!), it tells me what time you clicked onto my blog and how many 'pages' you visited while you were here (when you go to the comments, it counts as a separate page). The most interesting thing, though, is the referrals. It tells me if someone clicked on a link anywhere on the internet that brought them to my blog.

That is how I found out that Janie, and Dr. Butner, and Carrie (who was my BFF in 4th grade and recently happened across on facebook -- how weird is THAT. Oh, and she has the cutest blog!) all have links to me in their sidebar/ blogroll for which I am grateful! (Y'all -- I know I need a blogroll. Someday I'll get to that!) There are a few others that I can't think of off the top of my head, but I didn't know those folks knew I EXISTED until I saw that they had linked to me. That's really cool.

That's also where I can find out that people landed on my blog by googling for 'hammy downs' (oh, yes, they did....) or their local cult or my name. I have a friend that doesn't ever remember how to get to my blog -- I suspect she's my Abilene person who googles my name and blog. Very funny.

There are other options to use for this information, and if you have a Wordpress blog it tells you some of it automatically (Wordpress users, what info do you get from your traffic reports?)

In the post about "borrowing"/ stealing another's words or information, Warren brought up an interesting point about video -- or, more specifically, posting a video on your own blog that you saw on another. First, Warren, I agree with the first part of your statement -- what's so hard about just linking and saying: "I really liked this." The person who posted my stuff said s/he wanted a family member to know how they felt and my words summed it up best. Which is very flattering! But, still... a little credit, folks!

But video? What do you all think? I confess that I saw that video on... someone's blog and now I don't remember which one? I think it was Dr. Butner's? But since I was ABLE to embed it -- post it in my blog from the youtube server -- I consider it 'public domain'. Would it have been NICE of me to mention where I got it so that you, too, may go see all the clever and funny things that person posts? Absolutely! Was it stealing for me to NOT give credit? I don't THINK so, but this is certainly a gray area that I am happy to receive a little guidance in!

While I'm being a walking (typing) Public Service Announcement, let me tell you about a tool I recently started using. A recent Reader's Digest article talked about preventing (or being aware of) cyber-bullying, where someone (not always kids we've learned!) trash talks you or your child be it true or not. They mentioned that one way to be aware of what is 'out there' about either is to sign up for Google Alerts. Google Alerts are emails automatically sent to you when there are new Google results for your search terms. So, if you set up a Google Alert for your child, you will receive an email when someone posts something to the internet with their name on it. I signed up for all of my family -- all I came across unawares was a comment Ashley had made to her youth group's blog. Whew! But I'm thankful to have one more tool on my side to know what is out there. More info about Google Alerts here (seems it would also be useful for research, etc.)

I'm out of useful information! Anyone else want to share? :-)

Prayer Time

This video made me laugh out loud, but a little sad, also. I know if I'm not careful, I can allow my prayer life to look like this. What we're missing out on...