Angels Unaware

I have written for a magazine called "Christian Chronicle" so occasionally the editor will send out a call for news, pictures, or thoughts or ideas.

Most recently (that I remember) he relayed his experience (that he VERY eloquently wrote about here) of visiting a congregation and not being greeted very warmly and was curious if we had ever experienced the same thing.

Oh, dear.

I am ALWAYS happy to give my opinion about something, and if it's something that I feel strongly about? Well, you just better make yourself comfortable, because I have got a THING or two to say!

Ten years ago, when our family moved to SmallTown (but with gazillion churches) we encountered the same thing to a degree: no one really speaks to you unless a member forces them to: "HEY! Have you met the Stirmans??? They are moving here! They are looking for a church home!" THEN the light bulb goes off and the friendly switch comes on. We got a little bit of that since my husband was working at one of the largest places in town and we knew a few people in town already.

Ironically, we honestly ended up placing membership at the least friendly church we encountered. But we knew a few people, and knew that we would eventually know more. But, BOY, did we have to WORK to know more!

At one point, very early in our time there, our lives were beyond stressful -- moving to SmallTown was a fiasco in and of itself -- and I sat through one entire Wednesday evening service with tears running down my face and occasionally sobbing. I was in the middle of enough people (and next to Troy) that it was pretty impossible to miss my emotional state.  Not one person inquired to my well being or even offered me a tissue. I began to question our decision to make that our church home -- and I definitely vowed to change how I viewed and treated people I didn't know within the walls of a church building.

Not long after my crying incident, I finally wearied of sitting in a Sunday school class FULL of people -- and none of them talking to me or my husband -- so we offered to help with the college students. That availed us to some people who were willing to get to know us: both the college students and the lovely people who worked with them.

And I began to methodically meet my church family in a very simple, straightforward manner:
"Hi! My name is Sarah. I'm not sure we've met...?" (extending my hand to be shaken by person I don't recognize).

"Are you a member here?"

Sometimes I would meet a member. Sometimes I would meet a visitor. I was still doing that the Sunday before we moved away -- 10 years later -- and when that particular member said her name, I knew who she was, and who she was friends with, but we had never met. I also knew where she sat in first service (due to my previous sign language interpreting) and since I mainly attended second service, we didn't really cross paths.

Yay! I finally met someone that I had been worshiping with for 10 years! That's not embarrassing. That's knowing my church family!

So when we had to up and move to Suburbia -- oye with the starting over looking for churches! It's just so hard.

Here is the article that came from my rant about that.

In short, my portion says that of course, NOW we have "shake and bake" (a term not original to me, but my friend LOVES it that her moniker for the forced time of greeting in church made it into the Christian Chronicle) and people will slap a smile on their face THEN and greet you -- but I can think of several churches we visited where our family very awkwardly stood and chatted with each other while the people around us heartily greeted the people they already knew... and said nothing to us.

People... it isn't hard: do you recognize that face? No? Then introduce yourself!

I had someone say to me: "But that's just in your and Troy's nature..."

Uh, NO! It is not! My nature is to sit and study my cuticles and the pattern on the carpet. I am the definition of an introvert and am really good sitting there. However, my nature IS compassionate, and I know what it feels like to walk into a church and feel like NO ONE cares that you came or went. And it feels really crappy. And heaven forbid anyone feel that way with me sitting looking at my cuticles.

So I reach beyond my nature, extend my hand, and say: "Hi! I'm Sarah! I'm not sure we've met...?"

Now, time for true confessions:

A guy at church was kidding me about that article... yes the one where I complained that no one talked to us at church. As he's talking to me, I'm finding my way to my seat, stepping over a lady I don't recognize. He and I chat about our various experiences with such churches right up until church starts. At the end of church, several of us went up to pray with a family that was leaving to do mission work. I stepped over lady again to get out. At the end of the prayer, I turned and tried to get to her... but she and her daughter were hurrying out the door.

I am fairly certain not one person in that room spoke to her. While I sat next to her talking about that article where I complained about unfriendly churches.

That, boys and girls, is what is known as irony...

And I feel horrible.

However, I have to remind myself: there were 200 people in that room. SOMEONE could have stuck out a hand and said, "Hello! My name is...." But I'm fairly certain no one did. And I doubt we will get a second chance to say hello to her.

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing.” Hebrews 13:2

Longing for a Risk-Taking Faith

Hey, y'all!

I don't usually ACTUALLY WRITE a post, even when I post a post on Sunday.

But here I sit. And I'm thinking some. Both dangerous.

One thing I'm thinking is what we talked about at my church this morning. We are going through the Bible chronologically this year, and all Bible classes are discussing what is being discussed in church. This morning was parts of Genesis (Chapters 12-22) that discuss God's covenant promise with Abraham, his obedience, Isaac's birth, and God's testing of Abraham through asking him to sacrifice Isaac (then stopping him short of actually doing it).

Two things that were said (in class) that I keep rolling through my brain about that:

1) God initiated relationship with Abram/ Abraham -- and continues to initiate relationship with us today. He seeks and desires relationship with us. Let's just camp out on that thought. The creator of the universe and all that is in it -- would like to have lunch with me, court me, walk with me, etc. But I'm too busy on Facebook, Pinterest, etc. Hmmmmmm...

2) God asks/ requires a faith of risks (slaughter the son you waited 25 years for). We rarely live a life that allows God to move in such a huge way (delivering Isaac) because we rarely walk in places where only God will deliver. We put our God into a safe box that we can make work (a real-life example was used of a class member who agreed to go on a mission trip, but didn't know where the funding would come from. Funding came in at the last minute, and then some). It was pointed out that most of us wouldn't have agreed to go on the trip until we knew for sure that we had funding in place to the penny. Of course, as someone else pointed out -- is that stewardship, or testing God, or taking risks in faith? Only you can answer any of those questions.

I'm a big talker, -- I think taking risks sounds like a super great idea in theory --  but when it comes down to it, I won't step out in faith until the Lord breaks the branch under my feet and faith is all I have to stand on.

And the Lord has shown me... time and again... that He is enough.

Longing for a deeper faith.

Pondering, pondering...

What about you? What did God speak to you at church today?

Welcome Back to Me!

Whoa. It's been... a VERY long while.

If you're still here, glad to have you. Last I posted, I was telling you that Troy and I were trying to adjust to living together. Think we're still trying to adjust. That and this town-o-concrete and the driving. I don't mind the driving but all of it takes very, very long to do.

We have celebrated my grandmother's 100th birthday, painted over some wallpaper, and the kids and I went on a mission trip to the Rio Grande Valley and just returned Friday night. NOW let summer begin.

I know I SAY this all the time, but I plan to get back to the blog more regularly. One way I plan to do that is get away from Facebook (which will keep some of you from knowing that I have updated my blog). I plan to shut down my Facebook account for the month of July. I have many things I want to concentrate on, and Facebook isn't one of them.

Our mission trip was truly bittersweet and a great time for us. It was tough to make the effort to go, but I'm so glad that we did. The kids all had a great time. It was the 3rd year in a row for Ashley and me, and Riley's first year. Lives change when kids see what a difference it makes to serve others. I'm noticing that and mindful of that as we start looking at where to serve in a church now.

"Church shopping" -- there's a weird thing to say and do. Not super fun, either. Think we have a fairly good plan in place, but it's still not a ton of fun.

Also trying to get hooked back up with exercise but REALLY missing my gym buddies from Abilene -- isn't accountability a great thing? Isn't a cheap gym membership a great thing? Starting over. In every area. I admit it can become overwhelming at times.

So. Looking toward the 4th. What's everybody up to? We have a bazillion options in our huge city now. I suspect we'll end up doing what we've always done -- a big fat nothing.

What about you? Does your family have big plans for the 4th?

So Thankful for a Village

My daughter, my beautiful athletic daughter, is being recognized as an "outstanding youth of our city" by one of the local civic clubs this week. Troy and I are, as you might imagine, quite proud.

The outstanding youth, I will confess, is less than amused by the whole ordeal for two main reasons:

a) it appears that she will have to miss her first basketball game of the season for the award ceremony and

b) semi-formal attire suggested.

Bless.

Missing the basketball game I can deal with. The 'semi-formal attire' strikes as much fear into me as if I were going to be asked to take her place in the basketball game. Y'all, I still need Garanimals for Grown-Ups. I am in no shape to be outfitting another person, ESPECIALLY one who may or may not have a very strong opinion about what she may or may not like to wear.

Because I am so handicapped in this arena, my daughter has been handicapped. Shopping is always an ordeal, I hate it, she hates it, we do as little as possible and move on. We can't communicate AT ALL what works, what doesn't and why it doesn't. It's terrible.

But, the outstanding youth of the city needs semi-formal attire. The Optimist Club has spoken. I can procrastinate no more. I just may need reinforcements.

I called my friend from church knowing that she would know where to go, what was in, what to get, how not to spend an entire fortune. Even better, she said, "Would you like for me to come with you?" Tears welled in my eyes. "Would you? Please?"

This precious woman met us and had the best time "playing dress up" with my daughter. What a God-send for both of us. We had already had one tense argument about who-knows-what. The Fairy Godmother of Fashion came in and smoothed it all out, finding us bargains and fashion, making one and all happy.

That, right there, is why I go to church. Not in its entirety, but that is why I have a church family. I don't have blood family in this town and, even if I did, love ya, mom, but you simply couldn't do what this lady could -- but mom could do math homework like nobody's business! Fashion and putting stuff together was as easy for this woman as breathing.

I don't know how she does it -- let's call it her spiritual gift. Honestly. Because last week, she blessed my socks off by bringing peace (and fashion) into my family. If that isn't a spiritual gift, I don't know what is!

So, seriously, if you think you have NOTHING to offer the Lord, you may have a gift that your sister-in-need does not. Simply be willing to say, "Can I help you do that?" You NEVER know where someone is seriously handicapped. Me? Fashionably handicapped.

So thankful to belong to a body of Christ where we all have strengths and weaknesses and people are willing to treat my family like family. I am blessed.

Monday

First: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was 80* Friday. Currently 34*. No wonder we never get used to the cold here!

Had a girls' night out at Journey's Inn Bed and Breakfast. What a wonderful place. If you need a place to stay while in Abilene, or just would like a romantic 'staycation' with your hubs, that would be a great place to go! Check them out! We watched movies and played Apples to Apples which was definitely fun, but I think made all the more fun by my exhausted state of delirium. That comes a LOT earlier in the evening than it used to...

Susan -- co-owner of Journey's Inn -- has such a delightful way of looking at life. And it is SO different than the way I look at life. She mentioned recently what 'color' a day had been. Must be the artist in her...! I love that she is going to keep a record of the colors of days for a while. Beautiful!

Ashley also had a basketball tourney this weekend. I shall state this under a spiritual guise so it doesn't sound TOTALLY like bragging on my kid, but God has given that girl a gift! Oh, what joy to watch her play, delighting in using her gift! Made me wonder how God must feel when we take delight in using the gifts He has blessed us with. It also convicted me about being more purposeful about USING my gifts, instead of letting the control of the calendar rob me of that ability. Falcons played HARD for 3 games (Ashley missed the middle game -- taking the SAT) and came in 2nd in the tourney. The last game was a tough one to lose (I guess they all are...) Never fear! More basketball is on the way! Game Thursday, then ANOTHER tourney Friday and Saturday. Yay! More using of the gift! :-) And, Riley will be using his gift on Friday, as well. Austin's Spelling Bee is coming up! Spelling is definitely a gift of Riley's, and I'm excited to see him in the Bee! Very exciting weekend!

Our church is trying to transition into having 'groups' ministry: small groups to insure the care and inclusion of all members. We are a large church, and the elders are trying to see to it that no one falls through the cracks. Groups are also meant to be a family-focused time -- no 'youth group' during groups time. This has some people all in a tizzy, which kind of makes me crazy. We have a new youth minister, Ricky Pruitt. I love what he said to a group of us in class yesterday, "Your kids will look like you, not me, spiritually." Absolutely. And eeek, to boot. Just makes me wonder: of those folks that are all in a tizzy about missing that 1 hour of youth group time for their kids, how much are they worried about the other 167 hours in a week? As for me and my family -- well, yes, we shall serve the Lord, but also? We don't need one more hoop to jump through and place to show up for the kids to be entertained. I absolutely agree that having a small group of church family is imperative to spiritual survival these days. Maybe I'll write a book about that someday...

May you all have a yellow day with shades of pink and blue dabbled in!

So... Why I Go To Church

First, my apologies. I know you all have been waiting with baited breath and popcorn for why in heaven's name I go to church. Took a little longer than I thought to get back here!

Well, we've established why I don't go to church: church isn't the most conducive place for me to worship, I'm not even resting just sitting there, and I don't even get a shopping list written out of the deal. So, why do I go? Mindy touched on where I am going with this: I go to be with my family. No, I don't have one person that lives in my town that is blood relation. But my church is my family. The crazies, the lovelies, the sad and the happy are all my family. Some of those people I have NOTHING in common -- other than the biggest commonality of all: the One we allow to Lord our lives.

Scripture is full of the ways that the Lord never intended us to trudge this ball of dirt alone. Starting with creation, when he made Adam: The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18) Jesus knew he shouldn't do ministry alone, and gathered 12 men around him. Of those 12, he had 3 men he drew closer still. In Acts, the disciples 'partnered up' to go tell the world of Jesus Christ. 

Sometimes when I go to church I am able to be there FOR other people -- a listening ear, encouraging word, hug or smile, or just a "Hey! I've been missing you!" Any of those things that my brothers and sisters may need from their family. Other times I may go because I need those same things FROM my family. Sometimes I go when I just want to be left alone and would really rather not be there -- but a touch or smile from someone else makes me glad I went.

I go to church to BE church: to love and receive, to comfort and connect, "Jesus with skin on". Sometimes I go to church to RECEIVE the church: to be loved and be received, to be comforted and feel connected, to hug a "Jesus with skin on". And THAT, is how I worship when I go to the church building:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

Why I Go To Church

in conjunction with this thought

Newsflash: I don't go to church to worship God.

Oh, I DO worship God when I go, but if MY church were going to be all about ME and MY best way to worship God, MY church would only have ME in attendance, and I would be outside somewhere talking with and worshipping God. I have had the privilege/ responsibility of being in on some discussion about 'worship planning' recently. I finally told the group: "Not gonna happen -- you will NEVER plan a worship service that is perfect for me, or anyone else for that matter. I don't worship best in 'the pink room' (what I call our horribly outdated auditorium)"

Besides not lovin' the setting for 'corporate worship', I'm generally busy. I have mentioned a time or twelve that I interpret services for the deaf. That means I'm HEARING what is said/sung/prayed, but I can only process it in the part of my brain that translates it into another language, not the part that absorbs it and lets it transform me or reflect praise to our Father. Even when I'm not 'working' by interpreting, I'm 'feeding' signs to the person who is interpreting. (The very funny part about our deaf ministry is that we are positioned in the auditorium where the speakers shoot the sound over us -- the interpreters can't hear a darn thing where we are!) Again, even if being surrounded by hundreds of people were my 'thing' for worship, I'm a little occupied.

But I do GO to church: I'm one of those 'every-time-the-doors-are-open' kind of people. (I'm also one of those 'last-ones-leaving-because-they're-turning-off-the-lights' but that's a whole other post). Even though I am openly professing to not attend church for the number 1 cited reason for attending, I think it is a crucial part of my faith and "Christian walk" (I really dislike that over-used phrase, but work with me here). I'm also teaching that to my children. My children know where we will be 'every time the doors are open', and they know we don't plan events or things that would interfere with our attending.

So... you GO to church, but you don't go to church to worship God??? HUH? Well, yes, it's true. And, I'm sure begs the question, "Then why DO you go to church?" And I will tell you. Tomorrow.

Until then, why do you go to church?

And now... my son is my brother!!

Can it get any better than this??? As many of you saw, a few weeks ago my daughter claimed Christ as her savior and was baptized. The REALLY cool/freaky/ God-thing about it: while she was at camp at ACU, Riley was here with us. On the way home from Wednesday night church, Riley announced: "I really want to talk about getting baptized."

whispery-secret: I'm sure some super-spiritual people out there will tell you how the light shone from heaven, and their conversation regarding their children's baptism came naturally and was totally spirit-filled. Let me tell you this: few things in parenting have made me feel so completely inept, and if the Spirit was telling me what to say or how to react, this is how it sounded inside my head: (Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh). Big vacuum-o-nothin'.

I told him we could do some talking/ studying (but first I had to talk to the Lord and do some studying myself, evidently). It was less than an hour later that we got the text message from his sister that said that she HAD to be baptized. I was a little freaked out. And at peace at the same time. God was AFTER my children -- and I couldn't have been any happier.

It was yet another situation that highlighted my children's individual personalities: Ashley wanted NO. ONE. THERE!!! And Riley wanted to be at 'big church' with all of his friends, families, and plenty of total strangers as witnesses. Fine by me.

Grandparents were able to come in and witness the wonderful event. All of the same "high" that I got with sister -- all the same again! Very exciting and just so, so grateful that I have a God that will hunt down and claim my children, when I am just so ... me as a parent. If anything on the planet is evidence of God's grace, faithful children are it. Humbled and grateful and full-to-the-brim with joy am I.

Here is Troy introducing Riley to our church family.

Y'all, this precious man that prayed over us -- I can't say enough about (and not just because you read my blog, Bill). He is one of our shepherds, and he and his wife both have the most beautiful spirit. And, he's just funny -- which is always a bonus in my book.This picture makes me cry -- well, they all do, and partly because I seem to have way-layed my camera with a crowbar-type object while in San Antonio, and I do believe it is on borrowed time. I digress. This picture makes me cry because it is what church is to me: young, old, and in between, all family, all loving, all looking toward heaven, and rejoicing to welcome one more to go with us. The two young men in front are two of Riley's dear friends. In 7 years we'll see some embarassing pictures of them on Senior Sunday. Until then, I pray they may model Christ to each other, and sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron.

All in all, my "What I did during summer vacation" was to welcome my children into the family of Christ. I think I may take a few weeks off as a mother! :-)

Sunday Blessings

It's been a busy weekend, one that I approached with a horrible attitude because if there is one thing that is NOT lacking (nor needed) in my life, it's 'busy'. But busy came, and God sprinkled blessings all throughout it. Now I am trying to stay awake long enough to just post a quick, "Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of this weekend," here before my nap (one of the ENORMOUS blessings of the weekend!)

• Time with people I don't ordinarily get to talk to -- people who speak godly words of encouragement and wisdom over me. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17
• Time with dear friends, laughing until my cheeks hurt and my eyes wept. I don't do that often enough.
• Time with my family, having fun and enjoying their sweet faces.
• Riley asking me a deep question about future boy/girl relationships, his thoughtful face as I answered, and his, "That's really good advice, Mom," response.
• Air conditioning.
• Hugs for new friends with teary eyes, prayers for hurting folks, encouragement for my precious friend struggling to find 'new normal' after the death of a spouse. Privileges and blessings all.
• My Sunday afternoon nap.

May you find His blessings all throughout your day and weekend!

Why I Go To Church

We had a bit of excitement last night at church. Every Wednesday during the school year we have a pre-service dinner. We call it 'Manna and More' because we are catchy and clever like that, and our church also never passes up an opportunity to name AND logo-tize something. Manna was particularly fitting last night as one particularly unidentifiable dish kept being asked about, "What is it?" (look it up, people).

So the evening was going as usual. Pay your meager fee, get in line, heh-heh with the serving ladies (teams of cooks, servers, and cleaners all rotate their duty about once a month) find a spot, get a drink, yada, yada. I was somewhere between getting a drink and the yada when one of the serving ladies stepped out of the kitchen to holler at the 100+ crowd of people, "Is there a doctor or nurse in here? We need a doctor or nurse!" I scanned the crowd trying to think of one person I knew who was such (sorry, Karene, but I was so freaked I couldn't think of one person). And I felt so helpless.

Trying not to be in the way, I just returned to my seat and glanced up toward the kitchen. There was one lady on the phone to 911, a small crowd around the evidently ill or injured person, one very focused woman trying to keep the food line moving by serving food, and a growing line of folks waiting to get their food. I watched and evaluated for a little bit -- I REALLY didn't want to be in the way or a gawker -- but it didn't take long to realize what I COULD do. So I got up and went to help the lone lady who was serving. (I only served one or two plates before I thought to stop and wash my hands!) Before long Tammy came back. Then she left when the 911 caller could return to her spot. Then Denise relieved me to go finish my meal as two other ladies were coming into the kitchen to trade out full trays of food for empty and replenish dessert trays as needed.

I'm sorry to say I can't give an update on the downed kitchen worker. She was awake and talking while I was in there, and the ambulance took her to be checked out. I'm not even sure what happened, and I don't know the lady's name. I'm not even positive I could pick her out of a gurney line-up. But folks needed help. Not only the sick or hurt, but the workers. I (and LOTS of others -- there is no tooting of my own horn here) just did all I knew to do or COULD do: I slapped food on a plate and smiled and heh-heh-ed with people. I teased the tiny gals for eating so little. I teased the teen boys for eating so much. I helped my serving sisters how I could and when I could. Because it has been done for me over and over and over again.

Years ago in a different, smaller congregation, we were welcoming a new staff member at a small gathering. I noticed one particularly eccentric member had the new staff member cornered and was talking non-stop. I told a dear friend next to me, "Wouldn't you like to follow around the new person and explain everyone to him? It's just like family -- that's just crazy ol' Aunt Trudy (Trudy's name is a pseudonym to protect the crazy). We love her, but we all know she's crazy." That's how church is to me -- just like your own family tree: full of nuts. But nuts that will serve, weep, laugh, mop, pray, build, hammer, teach, hug, and love as needed.

My church isn't perfect. Neither is yours. But they're my family and I love them dearly. And I hope no one sues me if they found one of my hairs in their food last night.

Verse for the Week

I have decided that I am going to claim this verse this week:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Please don't hear me say I will be PERFECT at it -- 'cause I won't. But I will claim it.

For whatever reason, the Lord has really put on my heart how we, as a body, treat each other. I am also reading in Acts, the infancy of "church" on this planet. I think of how those believers, newly gifted with His Spirit, met together, prayed together, shared their belongings, and literally clung to each other for their lives. Church was a natural result of His Spirit being alive and vibrant within their hearts. So many of us (myself being the first of the line) expect church to be the entirity of our relationship with the Lord. And we wonder why He seems so far away.

My thoughts are muddled, and just as likely to be in error as accurate, but this I will cling to this week:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29.