Monday

How Great The Father's Love

by Sarah Stirman
on heartlight

A Perfect Post


I overheard a young mother recounting her nighttime ritual of laying her head on her pillow and asking herself, "Did I love my family enough today? If something happens to me tonight will they know exactly how much I loved them?"

As an "older and wiser" woman — and more skeptical and a bit jaded, I suppose — my first instinct was to laugh: "Well, of course you didn't love them enough! How silly!" Jesus conceded that though we are imperfect parents (He literally called us "evil"!) we still do the best we know how! (Luke 6:11-13) Chances are, I did NOT love my family enough today or on any day.

Her question, however, haunted me. I continued to turn it over again and again in my mind. The question seemed a bit less daunting and a lot less accusing if I rephrased it: "Could I love my children more, could I love my children better, tomorrow?"

Well, Lord willing, I will be given tomorrow with my family. And yes, I will try to love them more completely tomorrow. However, none of us is promised tomorrow for our families or ourselves.

I have wept with mothers who have kissed tiny foreheads for the last time to send them to "The Land Where There Is No Tomorrow." I have prayed and pleaded with mothers whose children have been precariously close to the edge of "The Land Where There Is No Tomorrow." Those women know what it is to lay their heads down at night and ask, "Did I love them enough ...?"

My husband and I have tangoed around the line of calling it quits on "happily ever after." With our new resolve for our marriage, I am painfully aware of how fragile a marriage can be. I am fully aware of his choice to be here. I am intentional about daily letting him know that I appreciate his choice and all that he is to our family. Thankfully, I have not faced the horrific loss of one of my children. But, I think I have failed to be intentional about letting them know how thankful I am for them, as well.

The old apostle John, near the end of his life, reminded us, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1) My loving Father has LAVISHED His love on me. Surely, that lavished love should run over and splash on my family.

One small thing I am realizing more and more is that as my children grow, the frequent opportunity to touch or hug them is diminishing. I don't lift them in and out of car seats or high chairs any more. I don't help them in and out of the bathtub, wipe their faces, or even brush their hair for them any more. They are no longer at an arm's distance or underfoot all day, so I must be intentional about meaningful touch for my children. I know that my arms ache when my husband is not in town to hug and touch me. My children need touch and love even more!

I also realize that sometimes I really have to try to listen carefully to what my children say. I am frequently guilty of multi-tasking which, I've come to realize, means doing several things poorly at the same time. It really doesn't take very long to sit, look into their eyes, and really hear what they are saying — and sometimes, if I am really listening, I can even hear what they aren't saying. I think about how much it means to me when someone has obviously heard what I said and then later asks me about it. I want my children to know they are valuable enough to get my full attention!

Another thing that I've realized that means a lot to my kids is to simply sit together and hang around together. Of course, the TV should be off for this — although it's also a good idea to know what they're watching and talk to them about it. My kids like for me to talk to them about my day, as well as listen to them about theirs. We dream and scheme, hope and plan.

Meaningful touch, intentional listening, and being together are not huge undertakings. They take a very little amount of time — my kids really like to limit how much time they hang out with me anyway— and they require no money at all! I just have to be intentional about doing those things.

And tonight I will wonder, "Could I love them more tomorrow?"

15 comments:

LiteratureLover said...

So true! I'm going to get off the computer and go talk to my kids now.

Melodee said...

Good thoughts. Thank you.

Roxanne said...

Beautiful. . .we will always be able to loe them more. . .and thankfully God grants us the time to do it. We need to take advantage of every second.

Glad Duchess is back too.

R--

SuperMom said...

Sarah,
I read this this morning and it's been rolling around in my head all day. I sometimes get so discouraged that God gave me such a beautiful family but didn't give me the ability to serve them perfectly, without failing them. But how can we appreciate sweet when we never taste the sour?

I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your openness and honesty. I related on so many levels!

Michelle- This One's for the Girls said...

I couldn't agree more.

Kyle said...

Meaningful touch, intentional listening, and being together are not huge undertakings.

You know they're not huge - and yet they can be with as busy or distracted or caught up as we all seem to get. And sometimes, yes, investing myself in the oridinary moments with my kids requires me to uninvest myself in myself some. Which just further reminds me how much further I have to go and grow into the image of Christ.

Thanks for you post.

By the way - if you attend Southern Hills - you know one of my heroes - Vann Conwell!

Heth said...

This was wonderful. I am so guilty of multi-tasking and doing all those things poorly at the same time.

I needed this post, thanks.

owlhaven said...

Wonderful post!!

Mary, mom to many

Diane Viere said...

Loved your post. This is a devotional I wrote for our church's on-line devotionals some time ago--regarding the natural transition of our children leaving home. Our children are the most important gift of all!
1 John 2: 12-14 Friday, June 24, 2005
“I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven…I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning…I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, dear children, because you have known the father…”

Parting Words

When our first child, Katie, graduated from High School and went away to college, I panicked! Had we prepared her for life on her own? Did we sufficiently give her the life-tools she would need to succeed? Would she remember all of the valued principles we meant to impart?

In today’s scripture, the Apostle John wrote with a similar sentiment of compassion for a child. While this passage is found in what may be one of the last written letters from a living apostle, I do not sense any panic in John‘s greeting. Instead, his tenderhearted message reflects the confidence found in the redeeming work of Jesus Christ. As a beloved Elder, John reminded each believer of God’s steadfast character and unfailing love; regardless of the spiritual stage they were in. While these verses may actually have been familiar creed-like statements, the repeating phrases emphasize the complete assurance we have in the transforming power of Christ in the life of all believers.

• John honors the fathers, those spiritually wise and deeply-rooted in their faith; reminding them of their experiential knowledge of Christ and their long-standing relationship with God. We will grow in wisdom.
• John commends the young men; those strong in their faith, having overcome temptation by remaining strong in the Word of God. We will develop strength.
• John welcomes the little ones or dear children; for just as newborns depend on the care and love of a parent, they too have known the care and love of their Father. We must remain dependent…on the One who loves and cares for us each day of our lives.

Within these few passages, we discover that while the chapters of our life will vary, we can rely on the never-changing faithfulness and presence of God. For all of His dear children, for Katie and for each of us, that is a creed to live by!

Challenge: On this final day of a challenging week of spiritual self-reflection, contemplate your current spiritual stage. What chapter of life are you in? Is it time to grow? What is holding you back? What area would you like to develop? What are some things you can do to accomplish this? With confidence, boldly move ahead into the transforming power of Jesus for your life.

Anonymous said...

That was a very touching post! I am not surprised at all that it was the best post of the month! (I read Owlhaven's blog!)

Suburban Turmoil said...

This was brilliant and inspiring. Thanks to this post, I will be a better mother today!

Congrats on your Perfect Post Award! :)

Kimberly said...

Wonderfully written and very touching. Congrats on your award!

Gotta go hug my kids now :)

Anonymous said...

Great writing! You found a new subscriber here. How I found you? Well, I had a dream in which Jesus reminded me about how he is the Cleft in the rock and I did a google search to do some more study on that concept and I found you. GOD Bless!

www.myspace.com/lizhorbelt
also on facebook
www.horbeltfamily.com

Anonymous said...

Great writing! You found a new subscriber here. How I found you? Well, I had a dream in which Jesus reminded me about how he is the Cleft in the rock and I did a google search to do some more study on that concept and I found you. GOD Bless!

www.myspace.com/lizhorbelt
also on facebook
www.horbeltfamily.com

Anonymous said...

Pray For Israel & Jews… Pray For Mother In Israel. Pray For USA Mothers, Will Have Peace in There Heart.. Mothers Who Do Not Know U As There Saver Salvation Will Get Saved In The Blood Of Jesus Christ... To.
Pray For World Homeless Families. & Please Pray For Homeless Women to… In The Name of Jesus Christ & all There health Problem In The Name Of Jesus Christ

Pray For In The Name Of Jesus Christ
Attorney General
—Eric Holder
Secretary of State
—Hillary Clinton
Chief of Staff
—Rahm Emanuel
Chair, Council of Economic Advisers
—Christina Romer

If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." (NIV)


Pray For Our Youth & Young Adults. In The Name Of Jesus Christ

Please Pray for Street Bullies In The Name Of Jesus Christ & Pray For Schools
Prays for President Obama and Wife, & Children’s and his new administration. Your efforts will work powerfully in our nation.

I’M RAYING FOR YOU AND OTHER PEOPLE AROUND ME
Prayer for families is the very foundation that keeps a family unit together. Have you heard the phrase "A family that prays together stays together"? The concept is true - a family that has their focus on praying to the Lord Jesus Christ has a foundation that may be shaken at times, but it will withstand all that comes against them.

Prayers for Justice and Peace

Please Pray for Other People Have Heart Problem. & Diabetes, In The Name Of Jesus Christ &, Athesma Problems.
And the Blind In The Name Of Jesus Christ. Pray For Israel & Jews… Pray For World Homeless Families. & Please Pray For Homeless Women to… In The Name of Jesus Christ & all There health Problem In The Name Of Jesus Christ… Prays for President Obama and Wife, & Children’s and his new administration. Your efforts will work powerfully in our nation.
Pray For World Homeless Families. & Please Pray For Homeless Women to… In The Name of Jesus Christ & all There health Problem In The Name Of Jesus Christ…
Hear our prayers, O God, In The name of Jesus Christ I Pray

I do pray that any of our nation's leaders who do not know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior would develop a relationship with Him. Pray that those who are believers would grow closer to Him each day. In The Name Of Jesus Christ I Pray. Amen
Hear our prayers, O God, In The name of Jesus Christ I Pray
Praying For Every One Around Me
Pray For Our Enemies

O God, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth; deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

I do pray that any of our nation's leaders who do not know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior would develop a relationship with Him. Pray that those who are believers would grow closer to Him each day. In The Name Of Jesus Christ I Pray. Amen