Does anyone remember the sitcom "Alice"? Okay, I'm about to confess to you what an absolute TV JUNKIE I was (this is why I limit my kids' TV so much -- my brain is STUFFED with stupid TV trivia). I LOVED "Alice". And, Google has found for me that you can find anything you EVER wanted to know about "Alice" here. I remember that when Diane Ladd joined the cast her character's name was Belle. Belle used to talk about her conversations with herself: "So my little voice said, 'Self' -- that's what my little voice calls me is 'Self' -- . . ." I think it may have actually called her "Lulla-belle" or some other horrific version of "Belle".
I thought of Belle today, because myself had to have a very stern talk to myself!
We've already established that I'm busy -- nutty, crazy busy. So this morning I got everyone to school early so that I could help Riley's class sell Valentine's before school, then I hustled to the gym where I had to cut my work-out short so that I could get to Ladies Class to teach at church. I hurried away from there to make a return and then pick up one grocery item to use for dinner. I scurried home to throw together dinner and Troy was actually here so we ate lunch together. I finally made it in to work! The WHOLE time I was doing all of these things, I'm trying to figure out how to cut short what I'm doing so that I can get to the next thing. As you might imagine, my attitude continued to downward spiral.
This is where the over-analyzation came in. It's also where I proceeded to have a stern conversation with myself:
Whiny self: This is too much! I am doing too much! When can I get a break? Who lives like this. Who can I blame for all of this?
Rational self: Good question: Who can you blame? Who exactly signed you up for all of these things? When are you going to stop doing so much?
Whiny self: Well I signed myself up -- good point. And I don't plan to drop any of it -- you and I have already discussed this! There's nothing that I want to drop, because I enjoy all of those things.
This is where myself got just a little testy with myself. I think she actually yelled:
WELL, THEN ACT LIKE YOU ENJOY THEM!!!!!!!!!!!
Truly a revelation to me.
I sat next to one of my precious Valentine's while listening to precious children ask for expressions of their love to go to their moms, dads, and friends -- and I was only worried about how long it was taking. I visited with a dear friend on the treadmill at the gym -- and was stressed out about not getting all of my weight-lifting in. My precious husband was hoping I could spend 7 minutes eating lunch with him -- and I was only worried about not being at work. I can honestly say that I had no grinch or worry or stress over teaching Ladies Class -- and I truly believe it was because of the confessional prayer I led before I ever started teaching. "Lord, your word is not meant to be rushed through, but savored and treasured." Amen!
So, I had to shake myself by the shoulders earlier today. Yes, this crazy nutty life is the one that I signed up for. It's pretty much exactly the way it should be. And myself has reminded myself that now all that's left is for me to put my happy face on about it!
