Walking Through Unemployment

I came across this excellent post about how to mentally go through unemployment. It was her spouse that was unemployed, but when either of you are unemployed you are both walking that road, going through many of the same emotions and experiences.

It made me walk back through our own unemployment road a little. I didn't blog much about it at the time, for many reasons. Mainly because I was working so hard to keep my own head above water mentally, I couldn't gather my thoughts and put them down anywhere. And partly because I knew if I did put them down anywhere, I would NOT want to look at them.

If you don't click and read that whole article, one thing rang especially true for me. Quoting:

"I found I was so distracted by the tornado of job searching that it was hard for me to be around others (even at church) whose futures seemed secure. At times we felt like we were wandering through a blizzard — we could see people enjoying the warmth of their fireplaces through their picture windows while our family was out in the workplace cold."

That is very true for me. I gravitated to a precious few people that had recently walked the unemployment road or who were a constant source of encouragement for me. To stare into the future and see... nothing ... isn't as frightening when you "know who holds your future" -- but it becomes very wearisome. Especially when two beautiful pair of blue eyes looked at you at least weekly and asked (with their eyes if not verbally), "Mom...? What's going to happen? Where will we be living? Can I stay at my school?" And you simply do not know.

We are so very thankful for Troy's new job. As hard as it was for him to lose a job, we know that God is in all of it. Troy is LOVING his new job, and we trust that God has many things for him to do there.

Even as difficult as it is to have him going back and forth, living out of a suitcase, not knowing when we will be living together again -- it STILL isn't as hard as having NO idea what the future holds. We know that EVENTUALLY we will live where he is working, and EVENTUALLY we will all live together again. God's peace that passes understanding has settled on this house.

If you are walking the road of unemployment, I have no words of comfort other than to tell you that God knows the path you are on and is leading you. Lean into His arms. If you know OF someone walking that road, I would encourage you to offer small, meaningful words of encouragement. I will tell you that the BEST encouragement I got was from a friend who would text me once or twice a week and either say: "Praying for you at this moment." or text me a scripture. How simple is that? It only required that I be thought about and a very small action taken .

That is when Romans 15:13 became my lifeline:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Four Words

At the beginning of every year, I hear/ read on blogs some people say, "The Lord gave me my word for the year: xxxx" (no, no one actually uses xxxx. You know.) Anyway, some people spend a year focusing on 3 words.

Last week as 'words' kept cropping up on people's blogs and statuses (stati?) I started praying (remember, I'm going to hear from the Lord?):

"Lord do you have a word for me? I think I may need a word? What about a word? Aren't you going to give ME a word? Come ON already...!! A word!"

Surprisingly enough, the word: Patience ...
came to mind.

But so many other words came to mind over the next week, too. Actually, tomorrow is when I was going to give myself to come up with A word. And I have come up with 4 words. Not because I am an over-achiever, or think I'm better. But for two reasons: a) I really like all words. The more the merrier, I always say. and b) I have many more things to work on. Even if I live to be 100 (I still need to tell you the story of my 99 year old grandmother who wants to buy a Christmas sweater for next year) only working on one word a year is too few.

My 4 words and why they are important to me at this season of my life:
1) Patience: in everything. Listening to the Lord. Waiting on my husband. Waiting for the light to turn green. Waiting on the person with a bazillion groceries to check out. Waiting for the house to sell. Waiting for answers. Waiting on my children. Patience in all things.

2) Humility: This is one of those blessings that comes with the wrinkles and gray hair. Help me to be ready, nay eager to say: "you don't have to do it my way" "but I could be wrong" "what do you think?" "as long as it makes you happy".

3) Gentleness: This will come with humility, I suppose, since my non-gentleness seems to stem from my matter-of-fact-ness: "This is the way it is. Put your happy britches on about it. Move along." Part of that is my parenting gene (and it wouldn't kill me to pour some gentleness into that, either) and part of that is my logical gene. The Spirit needs to smooth out those rough edges in me.

4) Wisdom: So thankful scripture tells us that as we pray for wisdom it will be granted. For instance, if God also grants me humility, how will I know when to stand up with a solid backbone and speak Truth into someone at a difficult time? Wisdom (and love) will have to be over all and in all of these words.

Does anyone else use words in a year? I would love to hear yours!

Time With Jesus

Jana mentioned one of her resolutions was to listen more to what God has for her. In her wise words, "I'm so busy gabbing my head off to Him (or ignoring Him entirely) that I have no idea what He has to say to me or what He wants me to do."

That made me think of this video that never fails to step on my toes AND make me laugh.


Shortly before Christmas I read a very powerful book, "The Power of a Whisper: Hearing God, Having the Guts to Respond" by Bill Hybels, founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. (at the time, it was a free Kindle download. Sadly, it isn't anymore -- still worth a read!)

God is still speaking to each of his children today. I am finding that my untrained ear still isn't sure what is His whisper and what is my brain. That requires more prayer and practice. But He speaks through His word, through other children, and through my own thoughts. Read the book. Great read.

Jeremiah 33:3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

Resolutions? Goals? Po-tay-to? Po-tah-to?

I mentioned yesterday that I have really balked at setting goals/ resolutions because of our state of transition/ whatever. I have also, always in the past, really steered away from setting hard- and -fast resolutions only to fail and feel crummy about myself.

So. I have goals. Some are 'this-year-specific'. Some not. Some I will share with you to hold myself accountable. Some not (though I do plan to share them with SOMEONE to hold me accountable -- I think that's a great idea).

Other ways I have seen folks go about goal setting recently:

Rob has a very ambitious 101 Things in 1,001 days (almost 3 years) list.

Erin Doland of Unclutterer plans to have monthly goals (but she also plans to plan each day to the hour. Wow.). I have tried a variation of monthly goals before.

Michael Hyatt (I have no idea if he also does New Year's Resolutions on top of this) creates an overall Life Plan, working toward the end result of the person he would like to be. He reviews this each quarter.

I started and created myself a Life Plan, as well. I have always LOVED the word 'intentionality'. If there is someplace you want to end up (being a good parent and spouse, skilled writer/ basket weaver, certain level of fitness, etc.) you need to PLAN to end up there on purpose. It rarely happens on accident. So I have a life plan -- I have a few areas I still need to work toward writing out (blech -- who wants to face a plan for their finances? We just want LOTS of money, right??)

These are a few of the things I am working toward this year (and I think most of these are on my Life Plan):

*Read more books. At least 2 fiction, 1 non-fiction per month. I know for you big readers that isn't a lot, but I just get sucked into blogs and facebook and my own stuff and let it get away from me. I have gotten a running start on this by using the library and the Kindle on my iPhone and my laptop (you can get Kindle software on almost any electronic device now). This page will help you find some good deals on Kindle, but between Amazon 1-click and iTunes, I can drain my bank account $1.29 at a time!

*Complete 2 half-marathons this year. I am already registered for the Dallas Rock -n - Roll in March. So, Lord willin' and barring injury, that will be #1. My 2nd will be in the fall and I'm not sure which that will be. My overall goals for running is to continually better my time (I would almost have to stand still to make it worse than it was last fall!)

*Memorize 52 verses of scripture. I am participating in Beth Moore's Scripture Memory Team which only requires that you memorize 24 (2 per month). I knew that wasn't enough of a challenge for me, considering how much scripture I want to be rolling through my head. 52 is an ambitious goal, no doubt. But I know I can do it. (and you can totally do 24 -- it's not too late to start if you want!)

*Consistently be in the word and in prayer. Because I always have my time in the word first thing in the morning, it's also the first thing to get dropped off when life gets crazy. I have been catching my Bible reading here, and "praying without ceasing", but I miss the structured time. This is one of the reasons I have made myself have monthly goals -- to get back to this.(Y'all, I found this "Bible Reading Plan for Slackers and Shirkers". Can NOT tell you how much I love it!!)

*No Diet Cokes. Again. I was off of Diet Cokes for almost a year because of my migraines and for some crazy reason, started ooching back onto them this summer. When one didn't bother me, I had one or two more. Then a LOT more. However, now that winter has hit, the combination of my migraine preventative and the Diet Cokes keep my fingers and toes miserably cold, and the carbonation affects my running (as in, my breathing). Why do I drink that junk? Because it is yummy. But I will not put one to my lips for 2011. About to take the last of a 12-pack over to a friend's house now.

These are all I can think of right now. What about you? Goals? Plans? Resolutions?

A New Year, Same Old Junk

So. 2011. *sniff, sniff* Still smells like 2010 to me...

Remember how before the holidays I wrote (quite a bit) about not moving, etc.? Yeah, still not moving. Still tired of people asking when we are moving.

Resolutions? Plans? Goals?

See, I don't want to do ANY of that because it isn't neat and tidy. You see, it should all be color- coded on my calendar in my goal-setting and checking off and how to go about it. Yet, when I don't know when I'll be moving or my forwarding address, or any of that, I balk at planning ahead very much.

Yes, yes, grinchity, grinch. However, I have come to see the blessing in facing the black hole that is my 2011.

You see, I thought I had my 2010 all mapped out for me last year. I had goals and plans. I had ideas. I had thoughts. I boxed up my Christmas decorations having NO idea what 2010 would hold for me. And what a blessing that was. Sure, I was blindsided when tough times came, but I'm glad I didn't spend the first 6 months of the year dreading that moment.

And now? Now I'm glad that I know that 2011 will be a year of change, upheaval and transition for us. Obviously, I can't lie: I loathe the blackness stretching in front of us. The Unknown of when and where and how long. I LIKE having my calendar squared away and filled in. But I do know that God is here, through it all. God has ordained every day of my life before it ever dared to get written on a calendar. I don't HAVE to see the road ahead, because God is in it. I am thankful that I have that reminder through this time.

I have claimed Joshua 3:5 as a verse for our family for this year:

Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”

We are living expectantly that this road we are on will take us amazing places with the Lord.

Christmas Fun

A Little Grinching For the Season

Ever have one of those moments that takes you back -- no matter how briefly -- to your most awkward, rejected middle school feelings?

Yeah, that happened. And, I am callin' her out.

My family depends on me to fill them in on ALLLLLL the details of any situation, no matter if I have ever been there or not.

"How long will this take?"
"Will we know anyone?"
"How many other people are there?"

And on and on it goes. And so it was earlier this week as I drug my family to do a little ministry to others. The project was city-wide, come one, come all, and I had never done it before, either.

I was already feeling a little rattled being there by myself with the kids, answering all of their questions about it, yet trying to maintain my calm through it all. I walked into a very crowded room where we were being herded to receive instructions and ... HEY! There's some people I know... not very well.

There were some people who attend my church... yes, my same church... sitting in one area and one row of chairs had 3 seats left in it. Me, two kids. I make a move to claim said seats.

This woman from my church -- yes, my sister in Christ -- doesn't even make eye contact with me, but SLAMS both of her hands down on the one seat closest to her and is looking about FRANTICALLY for the person that should be occupying the seat.

I have not felt so humiliatingly rejected since 6th grade when I didn't own a pair of Luv-It jeans with the satin lips and lipstick on the pocket.

You know, if she had simply smiled and said, "I'm sorry... I'm waiting for my husband/ friend/ Darth Vader/ bin Laden/ neighborhood leper to sit here... we only have 2 seats." it just wouldn't have been so bad.

I simply smiled, found 3 other seats next to a Dyess B-1 pilot who had manners, and added her to my list of people I simply will not miss once I don't live here.

A Decorating Thought

This one isn't whining about my house not selling, I promise.

In "staging" our house, we are keeping all things minimalist, including Christmas decorations. We got down the pre-lit tree, the stockings and stocking hangers, and that's about it. I didn't want to get down ALL of the ornaments (you know, the precious little handprint ones, the dixie cups rolled in glitter with jingle bells hung with yarn from the inside), but the lights alone were a little... pathetic.

So I checked out who had Christmas ribbon on sale and, lo and behold, when you wait until the middle of December to decorate, EVERYONE has their decorations and ribbon on sale! I went to Michael's and bought several (way too many, it turned out) rolls of wide, wired ribbon that was 60% off, so it was $4/ roll. Turns out, on our tree, 3 rolls was PLENTY, but I'll keep one extra roll just for good measure.

So, my thought for today is: $16 bucks worth of ribbon can make a tree look like a tree. Not bad. (yes, I know we have a strand out. It's not the fuses. We give up.)

For Nothing Is Impossible

As you might imagine, I'm a little single-minded these days, so this 'choose one thought' blog idea may not work out too well. They may seem to all center around the same theme for a while. I will try to vary the idea a bit throughout the week. But today, the idea centers around the same thing I spoke about last time: my house hasn't sold.

I have become very specific in my prayers with the Lord. And bold. My prayer is not that my house will sell "soon" or "quickly". You see, scripture tells me that a day with the Lord is like a thousand years. So, I am being very specific in telling the Lord every time I pray that I would please like my house to sell THIS MONTH. Sure, it's a long shot. Sure it's the holidays. Sure it's the worst economy ever. But He is God and I will boldly ask.

Yesterday, through a series of events that I'll share later God led me to read Luke 1. And in Luke 1, I have a verse highlighted and underlined.

v. 37: "For nothing is impossible with God."

Now, I realize there are 2 ways to take this. Obviously, I could hear it that selling my home this month is not impossible with God. OR me surviving it NOT selling this month is not impossible with God. But God and I (and all of you) know which way I want that to go!

That makes me think of Evan Almighty when God had told Evan there would be a flood on Sept. whatever. And on Sept. whatever Evan is standing there ON HIS ARK that he built and there is nary a cloud in the sky.

Evan's wife says, "Maybe... maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. Maybe He meant a flood of knowledge, or emotion, or awareness."
Evan replies, "Oh, if that's true, I am going to be so ticked."

Yeah. Please Lord.

So we wait, secure in the knowledge that nothing is impossible with God.

And tonight, while we wait, to reframe our minds, the kids and I will be volunteering with a local ministry to inner city children to deliver blankets, food, and gifts for the season. And we will then return to our warm home, that we still own, and be very grateful that we have it and for all that the Lord has given us.

"For nothing is impossible with God."

Just a Thought

Julie inspired my to dip my toe back into blogging ever so lightly.

If you don't want to clicky-click ALLLL the way over to Julie's spot, here is what she says:

"For some reason I find myself flush with ideas as I go about my day that I think would make most interesting blog topics. However, when I finally sit down at the computer they have flown from my mind, like birds seeking warmer places for winter...

It's not that I can't remember anything about my day, it's just that the writing impetus has gone, gone away...

So today I decided that surely for the next few days I could just write one sentence. Or better put, just one thought."

So I shall try to give you just one thought on my blog, but my dream last night was a foreshadowing of trying to catch that thought. I was trying to help a toddler out of water that was up to the top of her head. Her mother had no idea that the water was too deep for her and had left her. For some reason, I was hovering over the water. Let's not analyze, shall we. I would get within arm's reach of the toddler, and she would walk in a circle, trying to figure out how to get out of the water. This went on to a comedic level. I was frantically reaching for this toddler walking in circles in water. No, I never got her. The alarm went off.

Yes, my thoughts to capture are that elusive. Julie's one was about her Christmas lights that she is thankful for. We don't have any up right now. We don't have any Christmas out. My hope was that our house would at this point be "under contract" and we would be frantically packing, buying a new home, etc. Instead we are waiting on God's perfect timing to bring a buyer to our home.

And, if I had to give you one thought, it would be that, since that is the question I get most frequently, "How's the sale of your house going?" And my response is, "About like you would expect during the holidays of the worst economy of my lifetime..."

Most days I am at peace, but the past two nights I have slept like a baby. Meaning -- in 2 hour increments. And in my 2 hour increments, I'm evidently dreaming of near-drownings of toddlers. I'm not well rested which means I'm not in a super great frame of mind.

At one point when I was at peace, God brought to mind a verse I am claiming for our family for 2011. I know that at this point in time, God is taking us to a new town to do something... awesome for Him. I don't know what, but the hard part is waiting to get started.

Stirman family verse for 2011:
Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you." Joshua 3:5

Let's do this thing!

Eighteen??

Today's the day!

Yes, it's a day of craziness and another day of sending Troy off to work at a job far away after he survived, nay, thoroughly enjoyed his first week. Add to it a birthday for a 13 year old complete with Harry Potter film fest, a basketball tournament and an out of town basketball game

and we are a family ON THE GO. Oh... of course today is Open House for the house, so I SHOULD be dusting, scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, straightening, or tossing something, but right now I have to pause to remember.

Eighteen years ago this morning I was waking up for the last time as a single woman. It was a muggy Louisiana morning (there are about 4 per year that aren't). I remember certain vivid details about my wedding day, few of them that you want to hear. I do remember my Poppa Max's booming voice as he prayed over us. I remember poor Roxanne, my maid of honor, had a sinus infection. It POURED on us after we left from our honeymoon. And I thought I loved Troy more than I ever would or could.

Eighteen years later I love him still and I love him more. I have made no secret of the fact that our marriage isn't perfect now and has had its share of trouble... which is why I love him so. We have both fought hard for what we have which makes it that much more precious.

Troy and I both are "out there" folks in our own way -- he is a networking/ making things happen guy, and I am the write about what has happened gal. God taught me years ago that my emotions and happiness don't depend on Troy (that is God's place in my life) but Troy very ably steps in and reminds me of my gifts, points out where I might best use them in God's kingdom, and when Satan tries to convince me it won't work or I can't do it, Troy points out the lie that is. The "being comfortable in my own skin" that has come with age has also come from being married to Troy. My skin is pretty comfortable next to him, too.

So, in the midst of this crazy day, happy anniversary to the love of my life. I hope we get way more than 18 more.

I thought this post, by Matt Hammit of Sanctus Real, was wonderful for today. If you haven't heard of his story, Matt's baby, Bowen, was born about 6 weeks ago with serious heart complications. Following surgery, several scary days, and a LONG stay in the NICU, Bowen FINALLY came home this week... one day before Matt had to leave for a show. He talks about his struggle to find that elusive balance we all look for.

What. A. Day.

As I was opening my eyes this morning, I was thinking, "We should leave the house 'show ready' when we go to church this morning... they gave us such short notice yesterday, and the weekends may be a busy time for house hunters..." Yeah..

Then Troy came back and told me that the dog (our LARGE dog) had a LARGE accident in the laundry room. VERY unlike her, I think I know what happened, but nonetheless, there was machinery that needed to be moved, grout to be cleaned, etc. Troy thought he had cleaned it all up, but he can't smell anything, so off I went scrubbing and mopping and moving the dryer, etc.

That didn't get the morning off to a very peaceful beginning as you might imagine.

The day concluded with trying to coax a hibernating hedgehog out of her cage so that we could clean it out -- we had forgotten to bring her in from the garage when we had someone come to look at the house yesterday. She's fine in cold temperatures, but she goes into hibernation. Good times, good times.

Betwixt and between I sent my husband on his way to a town 180 miles away for his first week of work -- only to send him with my car keys so that he would have to turn around about 30 miles out and come back... --, took a teenage girl clothes shopping (which was actually relatively painless compared to everything else), and helped son prepare for a devo talk.

I'll be honest -- you knew I was going to -- I haven't loved today. But I have been thankful. I have been tempted to gripe (and I have) -- but underneath it all, I am thankful. If nothing else, it's awesome blog material, right?

Yesterday afternoon I was blessed to meet and spend a few minutes talking to the mother of the stinkin' cutest little 4 year old leukemia patient -- still going through one more year of treatment. Also learned of a 5 year old diagnosed with leukemia. Can I really complain because of a few inconveniences due to a new job and life transition? I'm sure I can, but Lord help me if I do.

Today was the first of what will be several challenging days ahead, I'm sure. Mandisa sings it best, "It's only the World", oh, yes, it is.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17,18

Fixing my eyes on the eternal to get past this temporary mess.

What A Difference 9 Years Makes

We are in the 'staging' phase of selling our house. We hope to get it on the market in the next 48-72 hours. This morning we had a friend come over who stages homes professionally. I THOUGHT I had looked at enough house listings to have a good idea of how to show our house well. This gal had great ideas but it involved some WORK on our end.

Troy and I were BOTH overwhelmed. Still are. But I did realize tonight the difference a few years can make in a move.

Nine years ago it would have gone like so:

She: we need to move that here, this there, and that over there.

Him: I'm not moving that.

She: silent and sullen, pouting and sad that it won't get done, but when asked, she is FINE

Now:

She: we need to move that here, this there, and that over there.

Him: I'm not moving that.

She: But what if I really want it that way?

(After two hours of shoving, pulling, rearranging, and vacuuming --- DONE).

And everyone lived happily ever after.

Too Much! Too Much!

It is BEYOND time to get the "Just for Today" post off of there! I have SO many things I want to tell you that I am FROZEN and haven't told you anything. So here I am to tell you something, which is always better than nothing, but it won't be everything. Right? Here we go. May have to hit the high points:

** Hello. We have a job. Y'all, I am not kidding. The very day, nay, the HOUR that I was posting my last little post -- and weeping a little through it -- Troy called me from an interview, "They LOVE me!!" In short, he was "lead candidate" for this job. So we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Then we yelled at each other a lot. I'm not kidding. That's one of the posts I want to write: what healthy marriages do under stress. It isn't pretty, but somehow we make it through. Then FINALLY the actual job offer came in. As of November 15, Troy will be working for the Cox School of Business at SMU in Dallas. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness.

** So... if you understand my current zip code, and Troy's job situation, you will figure out that there is a move in my future. I have figured out that to say the word 'move' and hand me a cardboard box, I have a Pavlovian response of elevated blood pressure, increased acid level in my stomach, and a tension headache. And my feet hurt. I don't move well, can you tell? Our move here was stressful, but went fabulously.... until we hit these city limits and the bottom fell out of our life. Then the next 3 years continued to eat our lunch. I do not have the mental wherewithall to do that again.

Most people ask about the kids. They are being good sports and handling it pretty well. They know that we have all prayed that we stay here, and God has led us to the Dallas area. So... can they really argue? :-) Of course, I am tempted to worry since I am mom, but when my brain travels that direction, I pray for just ONE friend for them those first few days and weeks, and that they will have someone to sit with at lunch on their first day of school.

** Race report: I really want to write an actual race report blog post, but if I don't get to it, I need to say that this last weekend was the 'Marathoning for Miracles' half- marathon for Children's Miracle Network. I completed it and truly had a great time.

We often quote an Andy Griffith show around here. Barney had gotten a new car, and all went for a drive, but Gomer was a little prone to motion sickness. The crew was driving through the hills surrounding Mayberry in Barney's new car when Barney thought to ask, "Gomer, how ya' doin'?" Gomer replied, in his characteristic drawl, "I'm sick as a dawg, but I'm havin' the time of m' life!" So... yeah ... I hurt all over, but I had the time of my life. I really did. I got texts from all over the state, I read encouraging facebook messages and tweets from EVERYWHERE. Saturday, I was mentally ready to take on two more a year for the rest of my life, improving my time every race. Today (after a few days' rest and missing running) my brain has already geared away from running and thinking that I don't ever want to run again. Someone please make me run. My brain will need it in the midst of this mess I'm in.

**Various and sundry: I have been blessed to see my boy score touchdowns this year! Big doin's for 7th grade football! Very exciting. Loving being a band parent for Friday games with Ashley, too, but Friday night is supposed to get down to 36*. We aren't even to playoffs yet! Brrrrrrrrrrr! Love to watch my babies in action, using their gifts! We are so blessed.

So... I've got plenty going on over here. What about you? What's up with you?

Just For Today

Just for today... I am so weary of the not knowing.

Last night, like several others recently, I sat through a parent meeting about a sport, wondering how long our family will be living in this town, if my child will have an opportunity to participate in the sport.

Just for today... the tears are closer to the surface than usual.

The constant holding us up wears a momma down, and eventually I collapse physically. I don't feel sad or down as much as I simply feel tired. Tired of the mental jockeying of 'what if/ what now/ which way/ what to do'. Simply tired.

Just for today... I don't have to have it all figured out.

Today I don't have the energy or strength to figure out all the possibilities of goin's on in our lives. It is a day that I will gather my family close, drawing strength and joy from them. Obviously, I will openly confess that this unemployment/ uncertain future isn't always the barrel of laughs it was billed to be.

When I say 'uncertain future'... please hear this: I'm saying I'm not positive what my address will be. I'm a planner and compartmentalizer (not a word... I know). I need the things ahead of me to fit on my calendar and in my address book. Looking into the vast stretch of nothingness in front of me has been a HUGE stretch for me that, for the most part, I have been totally okay with. But... just for today... I am not.

The important things are in my future: my God will be faithful no matter where my feet walk the earth and where my head touches my pillow at night. Which is why under the exhaustion, even under the tears, I have a peace. Peace that a God who loves me more than I can know is holding us all in His hand.

Just for today... I am so grateful.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

Watching The Kids

I literally have two minutes, but just have a thought in my head ... you know, rolling around because it's otherwise fairly empty except for remnants of a shopping list and some Christmas ideas... and I wanted to put it down.

Yesterday Troy had a phone interview scheduled for mid-morning. Early morning, he got called and could he possibly reschedule it for 5 p.m. "Sure, that won't be a problem." The instant he hung up he smacked his forehead. "Shoot! I spoke too soon! That is RIGHT in the middle of Riley's football game!" He grieved and moaned. He debated about attending the 4:15 game at all, but finally decided to go to the first quarter of it, hating that he had to miss any of it (and, true to form, Riley had an awesome game, as Ashley always does in her sporting events when one of us has to miss any of it!)

I was thinking about how much Troy and I both love watching our kids "in action" and "doing their thing"... basically using the gifts that God has given them, and how out of our way we will go to catch just a few minutes of it. Sometimes it's here in the house, I love to hear the insights they have on a subject because of the gift of their humor or intelligence or compassion, but it also brings us great joy to watch them at play on the court or field of their choice, going all out for a sport that they enjoy, win or lose (and, no doubt, winning is always more fun). We love to see and hear them play in band, and have been amazed to hear the progress as they have gone from fledgling beginners to accomplished honors band members.

As the Lord often does, He spoke to me about how it gives Him great joy to see His children "in action" and "doing their thing", using the gifts that He has given us.

Lord, may I not get so caught up in the every day of this world that I miss what you have for me. May you delight in seeing me use the gifts you have blessed me with. May I purposely unfold and develop those gifts for your glory this day and every day.

Friday Laughs

Techno-Rant by a Techno-Snob

With my husband looking for work, and precious little of it to be found in our fair town, there is a strong possibility that our family will end up relocating at some point in the next 6-12 months. With relocation, comes starting over with schools, church, doctors, hairdressers, vets, the whole of living.

Here is something I have realized: if you are a church or school in 2010 and your website doesn't reflect that it's 2010, do not expect my family to give you an opportunity to meet our needs otherwise.

And, being a further snob, I'll tell you (as a church) you NEED our family in your midst, oh, yes, you do. Okay, a school does, too, but school families who will be involved are a dime a dozen. Church families who will be involved... not so much. Evidently, they are all too busy being involved at school. Troy is a great administrator in things he gets involved in at church, gorgeous voice for singing, I take my turn teaching Sunday school, and my kids will make your youth ministry look good. They are leaders among their peers and sweet kids, befriending kids of all shapes and sizes. And... yeah, you want to know... of course we give on a regular basis. We are your model church family.

But if I move to my new (undetermined) town and am scouting out churches and pull up your website and it has (only) an article by the preacher, pictures of the staff, and service times and location... pass. That is a 2003 website.

I started thinking about this when a Facebook friend also recently relocated and mentioned that she had placed membership at The Happy Sunshine Church (*not actual name of congregation). Since my friend had relocated in North America, and we will probably relocate somewhere in North America, I thought I would scope out The Happy Sunshine Church. One can never be too prepared.

Um... yeah. Won't be going there. Pulled up the 'youth' page: a gray box with the word: 'testing' in the middle of it. Pulled up the youth calendar: same gray 'testing box'. They did have a super-secret, password-only member-only section, but I wasn't invited into that... My part was gray and 'testing'... And I was becoming 'testy'... Their WORDS said, "We would LOVE to have you visit us and you can find us at this location." Their website said, "You aren't worth the effort."

Yes, I do Facebook and Twitter, too, but I'm not being adamant about that. By the year 2000, once we all figured out that the lights were going to stay on after the Y2K scare, your church should have figured out, "Hey! I think this internet thing is going to stick around. We may need us a world wide internet address for our church."

Granted, MOST churches have seen the need for a website... but that is all. It's time to move past the year 2000, and let your website be an active place of outreach for your congregation, as well as a place to communicate with your members. If you'll notice, people now have the internet on their phone, at their kitchen table, at McDonald's and Starbuck's... they may be wondering where they are going to church on Sunday, and if the children's ministry is any more than coloring pages and 'testing'. What is your church communicating?

I think the church where I worship does a fairly good job of this (and in about 2 more weeks we will be unveiling a new, improved site that will be even better -- SO EXCITED!) I was blessed to work with the team that helped create the new site, and spent some time scouting out other church sites. I saw entirely too many church calendars set at October, 2006, or some other such random date when the website was created. If it isn't current, it's useless.

I think another local church has an awesome website as well.

If you are reading this and nodding and wishing your church had something like this, let me direct you to The Marketing Twins, Randy and Donny Vaughn. Troy and I were in school with Randy and Donny and they could totally hook you up with a website.

I mentioned schools, but I will say that since we are currently a public school family, most school districts do a GREAT job of communicating online, keeping calendars current, having a place to check grades, etc. If we move to a place where I feel that private schools are our best option, the website will be a key indicator as to the academic and technological capability of the school.

So... that is my techno-rant for today. Do you have website peeves? Would love to hear them.

Your Child's Village

originally in Abilene Families

As the initial school bells pealed this year, parents had varying emotions and approached the year with different attitudes, in different vehicles, and from various neighborhoods. However, as the paperwork filtered home, one thing bound us all together in a united brotherhood drowning in felled forestry: our loathing of the forms.

As a former educator, I recognize that (some of) the forms are a necessary evil that must be waded through. I believe that I even read somewhere that this year an effort was made to reduce the number of forms, but once I filled the same one out for athletics, band, drama, chemistry club, and my cashier at the grocery store, the effort was really lost on me.

Some of the questions on the forms stumped me, too. Questions that I know were meant to be easy: “Is Yiddish your primary language at home?” I mutter. I rant. I speak in half sentences. Whatever language that the children answer in, claim that one. I don’t know.

“Is your home a temporary living arrangement?” Well, that’s just a can of worms, isn’t it? First, we have high hopes that these people that require piles and piles of forms will move out and fill out their own forms some day. So, yes, this arrangement is temporary, Lord willin’.

Also, occasionally in church I sing a song about this earth not being my home, I’m just a-passin’ through, though I don’t believe having a heavenly home as a permanent dwelling is what the form is asking. I doubt there is even government assistance for that.

This year there was a new one that really stumped me. Next to all of the student’s contacts, you were to check a box next to the contact name if he or she was a “responsible party”. Hmmmmm. We sometimes eat popcorn for dinner and I have been known to leave my children at school forgetting it was my week for carpool. Can you really call me responsible? I checked my husband’s box.

Then, there were the blanks that make me freeze up every year. You know the ones - especially you military families that move frequently. Those dreaded “Emergency Contacts”. Not having family in town, my mind is as blank as the form before me as I consider who would drop everything to help my child were he or she to need it.

Sometimes I play Russian roulette with my cell phone and land on my dentist and my pizza place and call it good. Giving it a little more thought, I begin to realize how blessed I am.

An African proverb accurately states “It takes a village to raise a child”. While our villages today have more brick and mortar and drive-thru windows, the premise still holds true.

I consider the village that loves my family and have been our extended family here. People who have driven, housed, fed, partied, entertained, hugged, and loved my children are all on standby willing to be emergency contacts.

As a young person, I prided myself on being “fiercely independent”. Now as a not-so-young person, I realize what a handicap independence can be. Seeing myself as a member of my village I recognize the astounding value in the community that surrounds me: people and families each a different puzzle piece to complete the overall picture of my family.

Now the hard part is deciding which one to use as an emergency contact. While I do that, I shall be icing my carpal tunnel syndrome from filling out all those forms.

He's Still The Daddy

I wrote this a few years ago. A little over 3 years ago, it seems, as my girl will soon turn 15 (yes, those were my gray hairs "sproing-ing" straight up as I said that):

Our Ashley is adult-sized. She is not adult shaped, and, at barely 11, isn't an adult, but she is adult sized. Over 5' tall and in ladies clothes that do not fit because she isn't shaped like a lady yet, but the girl that she still is. She is still getting used to those long legs and ginormous feet that she inherited from her mother.

Last night, due to events we will never understand other than the earth's gravity, Ashley's feet came completely out from under her while she was walking into the kitchen. She had both hands full, so the entirity of her adult-sized body landed on her tailbone on our tile floor. As Troy and I stood over her trying to help her and determine what happened it quickly became obvious that even if there WERE something you could do for an injured tailbone, we didn't know what it was, and watching her cry and writhe in pain was heartbreaking.

So Troy squatted down and, without even audibly groaning, scooped up her adult-sized body as if she were still 3 or 4 and carried her to a more comfortable spot
-because she's his baby girl
-because she needed him
-because he's the daddy.

It still kind of makes me cry... because our opportunities to take care of our babies are so few these days. But Troy had one more opportunity to take care of his girl, somewhat like this, a few days ago. I wasn't around, I'm not even sure of the circumstances, but I know they left for a 'I need to be looking somewhat nice' occasion and promptly returned home with her having scraped up knees, and mud all over, due to a difficult to see slick spot in a parking lot. It was so very very sad. I appreciated so much that he knew that to an almost-15 year old girl, he could not say, "Just go rinse off in the bathroom." No, this called for wardrobe and make-up and momma, and they came home. We got her cleaned up and back on track, not too much worse for the wear.

Because he's the daddy. And a darn good one, at that. We are so very very blessed.