This is Judy's family. Aren't they beautiful? Judy's claim to fame is having babies in 3 different decades, then adopting a son when he was in his teens! Her precious Tom is back left with his hand on Cade (90's baby!) Johnny, the adopted son is next to Tom and then there is Johnny's gorgeous wife (y'all, she has the most amazing skin I have ever seen on a real person). Tom's mom, Billie, is next to Cade. Lori (70's baby!) is holding Macy (I guess that's Macy? That would make this pic a few years old). I guess that Lori's husband, Paul, took this picture, because he isn't in there! Then there's Judy with Ben (80's baby!)
Ben has been in medical school in Houston. Monday he went to the hospital with chest pains and a friend that he grew up with went with him. Tom, Judy, and Lori chartered a plane to go see to him. Before their plane landed in Houston, Ben had passed away.
Today, many of us went to the airport to meet Tom, Judy, and Lori when they flew back here. Thankfully, they have much family here in town and most of them were at the airport, as well. I'll be honest: it was awful. It was SO much pain in one place, so much raw grief. Just horrible. At the same time, it was beautiful. The plane was delayed about an hour because of bad weather, so for an hour, I watched the faces of church family love, cry, and laugh as we gathered around. And they were so amazingly beautiful. And then we wept and cried and held and hugged as we helped all of the family gather together and share their pain.
Women are funny: we must DO when something happens. We must bake, clean, organize, and tend to. We know in our hearts it won't take away anyones pain, but we simply must DO. Probably for selfish reasons -- we want to feel of use, to help, I don't know. So many of us DID and shopped and got ice and cleaned (Judy's house didn't need it, but we pretended) and fed the dogs. And then we cried. A lot. And we aren't finished. Actually, I don't think we've gotten warmed up well.
Grief from the sidelines is tough. May the Lord guide my mouth away from those ridiculous words searching for reason or goodness from awfulness, and may I simply proclaim my love and desire to do what I can. And may I be there.
Ben was a precious gentle spirit, who was planning to fly-fish across Texas. I think he's got a much bigger pond to fish in now. 
