Book Review: Mockingbird

I have been catching up on a FEW of my Twelve by 2012 list (but I am woefully behind on others... sigh). I have been doing some reading. When I'm in the middle of a book, I'm always so glad that I am -- it's when I don't have one going and don't know what to read next that I get stuck in a Facebook/ blogs/ Pinterest vortex and forget that people actually write books.

So. I want to share with you some of the books I've been reading.

First, a word of warning. I LOVE -- crazy love -- young adult fiction. It's my genre. It's usually an easy read, with a great message, and the well-written ones have loveable characters. Think "Because of Winn Dixie," "The Hunger Games," and "Once Upon A Marigold." (I know you don't know that last one -- you should!)

I found a list (that if I could find again I would share with you) of the best YA (young adult) books to read. This first book was on it:

*Cover art from Amazon

Mockingbird by Kathryn Erskine

Before I give you the synopsis, let me just say: I flat out loved this book.

Told from the point of view of an 11 year old with Asberger's, Caitlyn. The book opens the day of Caitlyn's brother's funeral -- we later find out he was the victim of a school shooting. The whole book is Caitlyn, her dad (her mom passed away earlier), and the entire community trying to struggle through the grief and aftermath of a school shooting through the eyes of a girl who only sees things in black and white, no color. Parts of it are hilarious because of her point of view, parts of it are heartbreaking because of what she can't understand.

Without giving too much away, I think I will say that the ending is a little too far-fetched with sunshine, rainbows, and lollipops and wraps up grief into something that will end and be over. But perhaps Caitlyn would have needed it that way. Also, the prologue says that the author wrote it in response to the shootings in Virginia Tech, as a way for people to understand others that are different from them. Perhaps the author was hoping that grief could be wrapped up and put away.

I still think it is an excellent book for anyone with children trying to deal with loss and/ or trying to understand autism or Asberger's Syndrome. (It would be EXCELLENT reading for any teacher or parent of children with Asberger's -- the descriptions of the way Caitlyn sees the world are amazing).

All in all, it is definitely worth your time. I read it in a day. It would be a great read-aloud for 3rd grade and up, and the reading level on it says 4th-6th grade, but I have told my 10th and 8th grade kids I thought they would like it.

So... Read any good books lately? Let me hear about it!

Prayers for the Day

(sighing as I begin...)

Some of you may want to know "how was the funeral" -- it was awful and it was beautiful. It was lovely and amazing and painful and heartwrenching. All that you would expect. If you were there, you know. If you weren't, my apologies, but my words can't do it justice.

I can sum up -- over 700 people attended in a room designed for about 500. Dana, Brian's very brave and beautiful wife, felt called to speak, and did so eloquently and with grace. Most people's reaction is, "...HOW???" The only answer I have to that is, "By the grace of God." The same way she will put one foot in front of the other for many years to come. Dana spoke beautifully of their love for each other and their love for the Lord. She thanked both sets of parents for how much they had helped in their time of need. She didn't say this outright, but alluded to it and made me think -- don't wait until it's too late to honor and appreciate your spouse. Tell them now what s/he means to you.

Pray for Dana, and Rian, and Rhea, and Reid and all of us that are struggling through the pain of losing a dear and precious man.

In my Immanuel book, I came across a prayer that many of you may already be familiar with, that I love dearly. She refers to it as "The Breastplate of St. Patrick". You will find that in many different forms on the internet, but this small portion is a beautiful prayer to pray:

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Christ on my right hand, Christ on my left hand,
Christ all around me, shield in the strife;
Christ in my sleeping, Christ in my sitting,
Christ in my rising, light of my life.

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Then, Vann posted another beautiful prayer on his blog. I think if you pray the one above frequently, it will make the one below easier to pray.

Deliver me, Jesus, from the desire to be praised,
honored, glorified, preferred, consulted, or approved.
Deliver me, Jesus, from the fear of being humiliated,
criticized, forgotten, ridiculed, maltreated, and
from the fear of what others will think.
O Jesus give me the grace to desire: that others
would be loved and esteemed ahead of me,
that in the eyes of the world they would increase
while I decrease, and praised while I pass by
unnoticed; that others would be preferred in all
situations; that others would become more than
myself -- in order that I would be as holy as You
want me to be. -- Charles de Foucauld

And, today, praying that you are blessed beyond measure.

Tomorrow, I promise to LIGHTEN UP around here! I do have some fun things to take care of on the old blog, and some other fun things to talk about. But, I honestly need you to help me find my holiday spirit. What can I do to find some holiday spirit?

Grieving, As One With Hope, Is Still Painful...

These are my friends Brian and Dana. How cute are they?Here is Brian with their three kids. Also precious.
These beautiful pictures were taken by Dana's sister-in-law, Whitney, who has this photography business that captures life stories that make you want to squeeze your family. Thank you, David (Dana's brother/ Whitney's husband), for letting me steal these off of your facebook page without your permission or knowledge. :-)

Brian lost his valiant fight with cancer this morning. I have so much to say about it that I will say very little. Brian was tough as nails and gentle with those babies.

Troy grew up with Dana. I've known her since she was in college and Troy and I first got married. Almost 20 years, I guess. She and Brian were dating then, I think. We all wondered if it would last -- young love, you know. Troy was supposed to sing at their wedding, but came down with the flu, so Riley was my date. Riley was about 5 weeks old, a little butterball of a date that drooled on me through the night.

Dana is my friend that we can not talk for months and when we see each other cut right to the core and talk about real things. When Brian was first diagnosed with cancer and had gone through horrific treatment and was in remission, I was in town for a day or two and Dana came to where I was after she got off work (nurse).

It was late -- 8 or 9 p.m. before she got there. We talked long and hard about what our lives had been like recently -- Brian initially battled cancer the same year Troy and I fought to put our marriage back together. When she finally went to leave, we weren't even all the way talked out, but we both had children to be nice to at some point. She was out on the driveway leaving -- and threw the newspaper back to me. It was 4:30 in the morning and the next day's paper had already come. That's how caught up we were getting. It still makes me smile.

I am so thrilled for where Brian is now, but I have hurt so much to know what life has been like for Dana -- and what it will be like for her from now on.

1 Thessalonians 4:13,14 says:

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

No, I do not grieve as one with no hope, but I do indeed grieve. My heart hurts and I am very sad. Holding onto hope and praying peace for Dana and all of the family.

Calvin for Today

Most of us don't understand it any better than Calvin...

Grief from the Sidelines Cont.

It's odd -- I have wanted to write/ blog about how we, as Christian brothers and sisters, don't usually handle grief well. And I truly started thinking about this subject thinking of people who have had enormous pain in their lives due to sin: their own or another's. It doesn't matter -- we don't know what to do with too much pain and grief. We either say nothing, or we have some awful theology as if we know why this had to happen.

And I don't mean I'm pointing fingers. I've SEEN it when I've gone through a particularly difficult time -- it was as if I had an invisible boundary about 10 feet around me that precious few people would penetrate, frequently even to say 'hello'. People don't know what to say or do, and so do nothing. Of course I vowed to not be that way, and learn from my own experience. Until this summer... One man was living a horrific nightmare due to some crazy choices his wife made. And when I saw him I couldn't even say anything. I didn't know what TO say. I DID say, "hello' -- but that was IT. I totally failed.

I was confessing this to another lady who has been there because of some crazy choices HER husband made (PEOPLE!! You cause your spouses grief when you make crazy choices!! Cut it out!!). She had an awesome response:

My favorite TV show is Law and Order for many reasons: the detectives, the
plots, the lawyers, the struggles as the justice system plays out in often very
unjust ways. Kind of like life. After informing the family of a loved one's
murder and the grieving begins, the detectives often say, "I'm sorry for your
loss." I've seen and heard of a lot of terrible things coming into people's
lives, but I haven't seen anything yet that wouldn't be eased a bit by an "I'm
sorry about your pain" or "I'm sorry you're hurting." It's short, sweet, doesn't
try to solve the person's problem--which is pretty arrogant anyway!--and is
generally socially appropriate. If a TV show can get it right, surely God's
people can give it a shot? I believe it's worth the risk.

And, when we look at it, there's very little risk involved. The only risk is feeling awkward -- and I have to tell myself that others' pain isn't about me; it's not about me feeling awkward, or me not knowing what to say, or knowing what to DO. Others' pain is about them needing comfort and needing to get to the foot of the Throne to pour out their pain. May I carry them there...

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Grief From the Sidelines

Here is a picture of me (left) with my friend Judy (right). Notice I am LAUGHING! Because Judy brings amazing joy to so many people. She is a visionary, dreamer -- but in the completely practical sense -- REALLY! She softly speaks words of great wisdom. And we all nod and say, "Another one of Judy's jewels..."

This is Judy's family. Aren't they beautiful? Judy's claim to fame is having babies in 3 different decades, then adopting a son when he was in his teens! Her precious Tom is back left with his hand on Cade (90's baby!) Johnny, the adopted son is next to Tom and then there is Johnny's gorgeous wife (y'all, she has the most amazing skin I have ever seen on a real person). Tom's mom, Billie, is next to Cade. Lori (70's baby!) is holding Macy (I guess that's Macy? That would make this pic a few years old). I guess that Lori's husband, Paul, took this picture, because he isn't in there! Then there's Judy with Ben (80's baby!)

Ben has been in medical school in Houston. Monday he went to the hospital with chest pains and a friend that he grew up with went with him. Tom, Judy, and Lori chartered a plane to go see to him. Before their plane landed in Houston, Ben had passed away.

Today, many of us went to the airport to meet Tom, Judy, and Lori when they flew back here. Thankfully, they have much family here in town and most of them were at the airport, as well. I'll be honest: it was awful. It was SO much pain in one place, so much raw grief. Just horrible. At the same time, it was beautiful. The plane was delayed about an hour because of bad weather, so for an hour, I watched the faces of church family love, cry, and laugh as we gathered around. And they were so amazingly beautiful. And then we wept and cried and held and hugged as we helped all of the family gather together and share their pain.

Women are funny: we must DO when something happens. We must bake, clean, organize, and tend to. We know in our hearts it won't take away anyones pain, but we simply must DO. Probably for selfish reasons -- we want to feel of use, to help, I don't know. So many of us DID and shopped and got ice and cleaned (Judy's house didn't need it, but we pretended) and fed the dogs. And then we cried. A lot. And we aren't finished. Actually, I don't think we've gotten warmed up well.

Grief from the sidelines is tough. May the Lord guide my mouth away from those ridiculous words searching for reason or goodness from awfulness, and may I simply proclaim my love and desire to do what I can. And may I be there.

Ben was a precious gentle spirit, who was planning to fly-fish across Texas. I think he's got a much bigger pond to fish in now.