So I'm Thinkin'...

Always dangerous to be thinkin', I know. But, yeah, I've got a few New Year's resolutions, mostly going okay so far. But more than anything as the new year rolls around (do you capitalize New Year, or only when referring to it as a holiday? so confused...) I, like many of us, take stock of me, goals, yada, yada. And, no doubt, some years I have the same resolution for several years in a row.

So, a little bit fed up with that, I of course want to simply stop and declare, "Well, that's just the way I am; I won't ever accomplish 'x'" or "I just don't have it in me to do 'y'". And, no doubt, God definitely designed me a certain way and there are certain things that are (literally) beyond my reach -- the top shelf of anywhere being one of them! I probably won't start in the WNBA anytime soon (my daughter's current dream), probably won't win the Tour de France in the next 10 years (or ever), and don't expect a Dara Torres-esque dive into the 2012 olympics from me.

But to have realistic goals and expectations of myself that I have simply fallen short of in the past, does that mean it's over forever and a done deal? More than anything, if my goals and expectations are in line with God's will for my life, am I doubting His ability to carry them through in me?

One faithful blog reader (don't know if it's okay to 'out' you here) wrote on her blog (facebook? somewhere...) that she wants to claim to be fearless this year. Fearless in Him. I love that, and think we are all called to be just that. And I think that is where many of us trip up in our goals. We get to the edge, see the unknown, see the hard work, see the patience required... and turn around to what we've always known.

I long to trust HIM beyond my abilities. I pray to relinquish the phrase "But I can't..." I just want to live each day big and loud, to His glory, and fearlessly. Wonder if I would have given an atheist a Bible...?