Friday

A Slice of Humble Pie

offspring: n. small people entrusted to a person to prevent excess pride or self-assurance

I have been using this as a workout book. LOVE IT, for the record. 30 minute workouts -- cardio AND resistance. A wonderful 'mom exercise book' for busy summers when lengthy time away is a luxury.
Ashley must not be so pleased with the results. Yesterday I was finishing up the workout and she said, "How many weeks are you supposed to do this?"
"Well, it's a 10-week program, I've stopped and started, but I'm now on week 7."
Gazing at me skeptically as I crunch my late-30's body on an exercise ball she asks, "Soooooo... in 3 more weeks you're supposed to have a celebrity body?????"
So, maybe not so much.
Yesterday morning Ashley got up bright and early and traveled with the youth group to Six Flags, so only Riley and I went to the last swimming lessons. He has already expressed his great disdain for helping me put sunscreen on my back, and I have already expressed my great disdain for allowing non-family members to put sunscreen on my back. I'm bigger, so I win.
I was warning Riley on the way to swim lessons that since Ashley was gone he was going to have to help me. Involuntarily, he made a classic "BLECH" sound with a little bit of a wretching noise AND full body shudder. Laughing, I said, "Is it really THAT bad???" In disgust, he shot back, "Mom! It's old person back!" Immediately I had an image of a late-70's woman squeezing her size 18 body into a size 12 swimsuit and the overhang that would result from the back. This is how my son views me from the back.
We found some spray sunscreen and made do.

4 comments:

Trina said...

Well, Kauy LOVES my "bat wings" so he is willing to put lotion on me so that he can play with them! I love Riley!!!!

mad4books said...

Oh, hilarious...you made me snort with laughter at the thought of a son having to touch Old Person Back. And even though I may not have a "celebrity body" (unless the celebrity in question is Kathy Bates or Dame Judy Dench), this crazy, pale, veiny, brittle, FORTY-something year-old body got through the step aerobics class at Gold's Gym this morning and kept up with every youngster half my age!

Woo hoo! The lumpy lady on the back has mad step skills!

Roxanne said...

Yes, did you also tell Riley that part of how you GOT "old person back" was by bringing him into this world not to mention his flight off the back yard fence and the ensuing temper tantrums that followed for the next 7 years?????

But that spray sunscreen is 10 kinds of awesome.

Anonymous said...

"a classic "BLECH" sound with a little bit of a wretching noise AND full body shudder."

LOL!