How Many Ways Am I a Dork? Let Me Count the Ways...

Yesterday was a somewhat (using 'somewhat' as in -- not really) historical day for me: I saw my first ever Indiana Jones movie. Yes, I, a child of the '80's, had never seen Harrison Ford crack a whip until yesterday. Side note to my friend who said they had trouble buying into the last scene: so you were completely on board for the red ants dragging the guy away and the 5 people going over 3 different Niagra-sized waterfalls in an aluminum fishing boat unscathed? It's your 7 bucks... I HAVE seen Indiana Jones run away from a giant rock or ball or something-or-other, and I do know that Sean Connery is his father and that he hates snakes. I've got all that. Just never seen a movie.

So, to show how ignorant I am of much pop culture, I started thinking about the many, many things that I have never seen:

• Any of the other Indiana Jones movies
• The only 'Star Wars' movie I have seen is 'Star Wars'. When I was 7, the year it came out.
• Never seen an episode of "S*x and the City" (nor the movie)
• Never seen an episode of "Desperate Housewives"
• Never seen an episode of "The Office"
• Only watch 'American Idol' the first few weeks with their auditions on location. After that, meh.

So, mock me if you will. I'm just not that into it. More than anything, I think I've figured out, screens -- movie or TV -- are not my way to relax. They're okay in short segments, but to sit for 2 hours makes me twitch. EXCEPT in front of a computer screen. It plays into my ADD. I can do research for a writing project. I can pick out a paint color for my son's bedroom. I can Facebook with the best of 'em. I can read every blog in existence. Whatev. But I don't do plots well anymore. Especially for action stuff. Life is tense enough. If I have to sit for two hours, make me laugh, but don't make my neck hurt from squinching up my shoulders (no, Indiana Jones didn't do that.)

So, my perfect way to relax was pretty much this afternoon: in my pajamas, in my bed, laptop on my lap, punching lots of buttons on the laptop to let it make me crazy, then happy at my whim. That was fun.