It has begun. Today, the 15th whole day of 6th grade, middle school has become middle school for my daughter. Bless, bless, bless her. The basic problem is: the child does not have a mean bone in her body. Bossy? Absolutely. Dingy? Testify. But mean? Completely beyond her realm of thinking.
So we have had many conversations that conclude with a snotty, weepy declaration of, "But I thought she was my friend." The sad part is that it isn't the same girl. You see, if you know Ashley's name, she's your friend. If you pass her in the hall, she's your friend. If you have the same notebook/ t-shirt/ tennis shoes/ math teacher as her, she's your friend. And she will treat you the way a friend treats people. But that is evidenlty rare among 6th grade girls.
One thing I have always commended Ashley for is choosing her friends wisely. And the friends that she is closest to are still being kind. Oh, but not all friends are being friendly. And it is a shock and blow to her little sense of fairness and rightness in the world and today, the worst happened -- about a half-dozen different people (MEAN GIRLS!!) commented negatively about the same part of her appearance. So we are having an all-out appearance crisis in our home, which I'm barely ready to talk myself out of, much less an 11-year-old. I have never in my life wanted to feed a child food for comfort -- until today because I had absolutely NO IDEA what to do with her.
So I just cried with her.
5 comments:
Oh, Sarah. . .my heart is breaking for her and breaking just as much for you. I'm am so, so, so sorry. You and I both know that, unfortunately, this is only the beginning of such yuckiness. . .but no matter how much she has to endure "out there," you have given her a soft place to land. I'm sorry it is not all better immediately. Saying a prayer for God to guard her heart and lift up her head. . .
Words to describe Ashley: Kind, beautiful, great smile, lovely, fun, wild, amazing friend, amazing heart, loving, tender, tough, strong, loves Jesus,...anyone who can't see that must be a middle school girl who wants to see a pasty replica of themselves. I rejoice in Ashley.
This is what makes me wish I had boys. Why do girls have to be so mean? I remember the mean comments from middle school and the tears just like it was yesterday. I think we all suffered through it at some point, but it doesn't mean it is right. I wish that mother's would instill in their daughters the kindness that you have in Ashley and the world would be a better place! :)
In 'the old days', boys would handle this by making fun of the offender's momma, and middle school harmony would be restored- usually. No crying, no tantrums, no rumors or innuendo, just out-and-out public embarrassment. End of story. (When you are the shortest guy in your class- you have to be pretty good at the Momma Jokes.)
-TMS
I understand her! And I resorted to comfort food! Now look at me. I am in the trenches of Middle School. They are ruthless sometimes. I often feel like Middle School is part of the "thorn in my flesh" time for young people. We will get her through 6th grade because and then when she can stuff a basketball down their throat in 7th grade, they will leave her alone, and worship the ground she walks on. As for you, mom, call Hysti. She had me to deal with!!!
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