Marriage Monday: Invest in Your Marriage

Well, I'm back with apologies for my extended absence last week. I had some deadlines to meet before I left town with the youth of our church for Winterfest in Arlington. Very fun, very biblical, very challenging and encouraging. Knocked me for a loop for a little bit once I got back -- glad to have Monday to recover -- but so thankful that we went.

Today on Marriage Monday I will be speaking to all marriages -- in and out of crisis. Because investing in your marriage is something we all need to do. It can be a preventive or reparative measure, depending on where your marriage is, but we all need to invest in our marriage.

"Invest" can mean a whole list of things: time, money, emotion, energy, whatever. We seem to be short on all of those around here, so it would mean a lot to invest that toward a marriage.

Of course, "investing" can be as simple as a date night, or as extensive/ expensive as a week's vacation away, or an extended time in therapy (I'm not joking -- you may need either, and you can decide which you need the most). Therapy can be costly, but, again, it's an investment that is well worth your marriage.

Think about your television and all that goes to it: Netflix, cable, etc. You should spend at least as much time and money on your marriage as you do in front of the television and on the television, I think. You may even think so, too, and wish your spouse would do that. Well, if you have some leeway in your family's budget or money that is yours "for fun", make that your "date money" -- don't resent your spouse for not thinking of it, bless your spouse and think of it for them.

Dates or mini-vacations don't have to be expensive (TRUST me-- I am the queen of going cheap on this) the important thing is that you take the time to go be with your spouse. Swap babysitting with another couple and just go for ice cream if you have to, but have date time for you.

Beyond dates and time for you, I strongly encourage you to also spend time learning. I confess that I spent YEARS thinking that I had heard PLENTY on the subject of marriage (and, no doubt, I was blessed in my early years to hear a LOT on the subject) but God continues to humble me and reveal to me that there is always more to learn or a new way to think about an old adage.

There is no shortage of resources for learning about marriage: workshops, retreats, books, etc. I have several that I, personally, recommend (DISCLAIMER: some of these I recommend based on personal knowledge, and some of these I recommend based on the advice of others).

This week, in my very town, I will be attending Love and War with John and Stasi Eldredge, for instance. Tickets are AMAZINGLY reasonable and I hope that everyone in this area will be attending. If you aren't in this area, check here to see if the Eldredges will be coming to your area.

Lifeway also has a marriage retreat weekend in several cities throughout the country. I have not personally attended one, but they, too, seem VERY reasonably priced for the caliber of experts that are speaking -- with lunch included!

If none of this appeals to you, consider a simple book study. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas would be first on my list. Gather friends or a small group around you and go through the book together. Or, if you have the opportunity to go to an event where Gary Thomas is speaking, by all means go.

You may be just FIRED UP to go, yet thinking, "Oh, s/he would NEVER go for it... s/he would think it is stupid/ too expensive/ waste of time/ name a reason."

Don't assume your spouse's feelings before you have communicated your own feelings to your spouse.

If you have had conversations in the past that lead you to believe that this conversation may not go well, start by taking your desires before the Lord (Psalm 37:4). After you have prayed about it, tell your spouse: "This event is really important to me to understand you better. Do you have any interest in going?" If yes, then super and start making arrangements. If no, then drop it -- and you have to decide if going alone will build up more resentment for you or you will be able to lay that aside and benefit from the lessons there.

Don't waste time being hurt or resentful that your spouse won't take the lead in any of this. There may be any of a million reasons for that, and if you are a Christian, you are coming at marriage as serving your spouse. How can you serve your spouse? Serve your spouse by taking him/her on a date. Serve your spouse by learning all that you can about how to serve him/ her better. Serve your spouse by knowing and loving God the Father above all so that His love can spill over onto your spouse, also.

Spend your time, money, and energy on your marriage. Invest in your marriage. The dividends are so rewarding.

Good Things Out There

Things like this make me wish I was handy. How clever is this picture frame/ folding table?

Wow. This hammered me about pride. Just three questions. Where can I post them?

Train up a child...


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Finally Giving Daisy Chain Away!

Well, yesterday got completely away from me. I had a job interview -- my 2nd with that organization. It went okay, I guess. Aren't job interviews weird? I met with more people and that was good. I got, "Thank you. We'll be in touch." Whatever that means.

If I get the job (part-time) I'll tell you all about what it will be. If I don't, there isn't much point in bringing it up. Keeping a little quiet about the organization, hoping not to lose a job before I get it, you know?

So I am finally giving away my book. The suspense has been painful, I'm sure! :-)

Here is my name-drawer, showing you how grueling the task was (please ignore the Santas on top of the box of Christmas ornaments. We most certainly do NOT have Santas and Christmas ornaments out on January 13th):

Here is my bucket of names, that looks suspiciously like this bucket of names (it's a new picture, I promise, it just looks identical).

And finally, here is my name-drawer, also modeling the chosen name: (don't worry, Donna, I won't send you the germ-filled name with the book).

Congratulations to Donna!

If you didn't win THIS TIME-- never fear! I have more book give-aways coming. Oh, P.S. if you live in my town, you are welcome to borrow my copy of "Daisy Chain"!

In my Bible reading I am to Leviticus, which is NOT for the weak-stomached. Blech. I read through it praying, "Lord, I KNOW you kept this in here for a reason, and may I learn from it, but EW!"

However, I did get tickled at this passage. If I were an Israelite, this would happen to my house:

The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “When you enter the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as your possession, and I put a spreading mildew in a house in that land, the owner of the house must go and tell the priest, ‘I have seen something that looks like mildew in my house.’ The priest is to order the house to be emptied before he goes in to examine the mildew, so that nothing in the house will be pronounced unclean. After this the priest is to go in and inspect the house. He is to examine the mildew on the walls, and if it has greenish or reddish depressions that appear to be deeper than the surface of the wall, the priest shall go out the doorway of the house and close it up for seven days. On the seventh day the priest shall return to inspect the house. If the mildew has spread on the walls, he is to order that the contaminated stones be torn out and thrown into an unclean place outside the town. He must have all the inside walls of the house scraped and the material that is scraped off dumped into an unclean place outside the town.

Then they are to take other stones to replace these and take new clay and plaster the house.
“If the mildew reappears in the house after the stones have been torn out and the house scraped and plastered, the priest is to go and examine it and, if the mildew has spread in the house, it is a destructive mildew; the house is unclean.

It must be torn down—its stones, timbers and all the plaster—and taken out of the town to an unclean place.
“Anyone who goes into the house while it is closed up will be unclean till evening.

Anyone who sleeps or eats in the house must wash his clothes. Leviticus 14:33-47

I offer this to support my case.

More book reviews, possible give-away at the end of this week! Happy Wednesday!

Marriage Monday: In Times of Crisis

First, let me tell you that I forgot to have the drawing for the book last night. I will take care of that this evening or this afternoon and post the winner tomorrow. My apologies for drawing this out. Good luck to all those who entered.

Now that I said I would address real marriage issues here each week, my question is, "where to begin"? Do I speak to marriages already in crisis and what they can do, or do I speak to all marriages about how to prevent getting in crisis?

This week I opted for going with speaking to marriages in crisis since they are, in fact, in crisis and may need the most immediate attention.

So. Where to begin? I honestly don't know, and I will throw one item out and let you think on that and ponder that before I go on next week.

One of the things that I did right in trying to put my marriage back together was to open up and seek counsel from godly friends who were committed to their own marriages (so I suspected they would be eager to see me put my marriage back together, as well).

I had more than one divorced woman offer to counsel with me and pray with me and I refused, to be honest. I was kind -- I thanked them for their offer and let them know if I needed them, I would let them know, but I knew that I didn't plan to talk to someone who wasn't where I wanted to end up. I have since talked to several of those women and know that they wouldn't have advised me to leave Troy, but I didn't know that at the time (our marriage crisis came when we were VERY new in town and I didn't know anyone or their story very well).

You will be able to find anyone to advise you to do ANYTHING in this day and age: change the locks before he gets home, throw his belongings on the lawn, you name it. Be selective about who you seek counsel from, but do seek counsel.

Please remember that scripture refers to Satan as a 'prowling lion' and lions seek to separate the prey from the herd. Once you have been isolated and separated, Satan has a much easier time convincing you of his lies.

Obviously, to seek counsel from other people, you have to confess to someone that your marriage is in trouble. That was HARD and very humbling for me, but I knew that it was necessary for my marriage to survive. Our marriage therapist (something else we did right that I will discuss later) advised me, "Pray that God reveal to you a friend that you can discuss this with." From that prayer, Coffee Group was born, but that's really a story for another day. Point is, I got way more than just one friend, and I got my marriage prayed over, prayed through, and finally restored.

If more of us would open up and lean on one or two friends and say, "We are really having a tough time right now -- would you be praying for us?" then, in time, the person you confide in would be able to say, "You know, Sarah and Troy went through that. Maybe they would be able to talk to you or pray with you." But no one will know your struggles -- or your victory!! -- if you don't open up to others.

If you are not in marriage crisis right now, there are two things you can do: 1)be praying for marriages that are. As I have started writing this series, more and more marriages have been revealed to me that need our prayers. Just pray. 2)Be a trustworthy friend. When someone needs to talk to you about their struggling marriage, do not immediately wonder who you can tell, but wonder how quickly you can get to your knees. Struggling marriages do not need the rumor mill to add fuel to the fire, they need listening ears and godly wisdom to be reminded of the covenant they have with each other.

May God bless your marriage!

Good Things Out There

A VERY good thing is that my friend, Mindy, is pregnant! YAY! and congratulations! and prayers for healthy baby and safe delivery, et. al. However, I was unaware that she and her husband had been trying for some time to get pregnant, and she pointed her readers to this awesome post about how silent the Bible seems to be about infertility. My own "struggle" with infertility was that Troy and I seemed to be able to get pregnant by washing our undies together while those around us cried out to God to give them a baby. I have learned much of what not to say from them. I love what Josh says: quit asking married couples: "So, when are y'all going to have kids" (and why do people start asking that at the wedding reception anyway...?) You have no idea what wounds it may re-open.

Soapbox put away.

If you know my brother -- shoot, even if you don't -- go check out his new website for his business. Not only does the website look great, but he is amazingly talented. Because not only will the music he and his wife play at your wedding sound really good, but he designed that website, as well. Yeah, he and I don't know which one of us was adopted from the gypsies, but we cannot be from the same parents.

WARNING: This is NOT good news, but it's good information to have, especially for those of you who rely on nutritional information from restaurants for your New Year's weight loss plan. Seems you may need to figure in much more "wiggle room" if you want some wiggle room in your jeans.

Again... not necessarily good news, unless you are planning on giving up sodas this year. This should definitely help. If you still want to drink sodas, do not read this.

This is yet another piece of video genius from my church. It's about a year and a half old, but it makes me laugh so much. Enjoy.

Don't forget!! You have until 6 p.m. CST Sunday to leave a comment here to enter to win a free book. And you want this book!

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What Say You?

In my opinion, (and, since this is my blog, my opinion is right, of course) Potato Soup is simply potato soup -- there is no cheese in potato soup! (to the phrase-ology of "there's no crying in baseball!") There may be grated cheese ATOP potato soup, as you might garnish a baked potato, but say it with me, "There is no cheese in potato soup!" I have learned to ask at restaurants: "What is your potato soup like: does it have cheese in it?" I generally get, "Oh, yes! Very cheesy!" Well, I don't want it!

Huge diversion: Colt McCoy. Awesome dude, no question. There was some discussion that he came out of Thursday's game somewhat hurt to save his shoulder for a potential NFL draft. I am all about Colt McCoy, the guy and think he lives up to all the college football AND nice guy hype he has been dealt. However, NFL draft material? I don't follow closely enough to really know, of course, but is he even big enough/ tall enough? Just don't know. This is yet another great blog about Colt and his family being the real deal. Colt's grandpa worked at a camp that I came to out at ACU when I was about 5th grade and Colt's uncle helped with it. All very nice and godly people.

Potato soup: cheesy or not?

Colt McCoy: NFL material or not?

Discuss.

Book Review: Daisy Chain

Last summer at SheSpeaks I had the opportunity to not only sit at the feet of Mary DeMuth in a class, but I had the opportunity to receive her novel "Daisy Chain" -- a signed copy! -- for agreeing to read it and tell you what I thought about it! Well, how hard is that?

Sadly, when I returned from the conference, our family turned around and left on vacation and by the time I got back the book had gotten put.... who knows where and forgotten. A few weeks ago I signed up to receive the next book in that series -- again, FOR FREE!!, if I would just tell you what I thought about it -- so I decided that I should know what I thought of the first one!

I dug it out for my trip to Louisiana at Christmas. Truth in advertising: when I went to Mary's class, I received another free copy that I gave to Ashley to read while I was also reading. She stayed ahead of me the whole time. She is so funny. Ashley is my child who, EVERY YEAR, tries to convince us that it is family tradition to open Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. It isn't, but it has now become tradition for her to try to convince us that it is.

Ashley couldn't stand that I didn't know all she did about what was going on in the book. "Where are you now? Can you believe that guy? I don't like this guy at all..." We were both enthralled and could hardly wait for the next page/ chapter to unfold.

"Daisy Chain" is set in Defiance, Texas. The main character is a 14 year old boy, Jed, who I now love dearly and want to adopt. Jed's best friend, Daisy, goes missing in the first few chapters of the book, leaving Jed with plenty of guilt and to face his father's abusive fury. There are so many quality characters in this book that you will find yourself in at least one of them. I love when a book -- or even TV show or movie, honestly -- is like real life in that it not only establishes one or two characters, but an entire community. That is what "Daisy Chain" did -- we got to know quite a bit of Defiance -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. And the lovely. Just like your town has.

Years ago, I asked my former Children's Literature teacher for book recommendations for Ashley -- specifically if there were any Christian books she would recommend. She shook her head sadly and said, "Like adult Christian fiction, most of it is just so bad..." And as I thought about what little I had tried to read, I realized she was so very, very right. Mary DeMuth is finally taking that label off of Christian fiction and giving us quality fiction to read with real characters struggling with real life and real Christianity.

I HIGHLY recommend Daisy Chain. It has some difficult subjects in it, but nothing I would describe as graphic or gruesome. As I said, I let my 14 year old daughter read it, who is an avid reader and has read many mature books. It gave us opportunity to discuss people who are real in their Christianity and those who are not and where we plan to land on that spectrum. I even called Denise and said, "You have to use this for book club!" Yeah, you need to read it!

As a matter of fact, as mentioned, I even have one to give away. Daisy Chain is set in stifling summer. Texas is currently frozen solid. So, think to summer. Tell me about what you would do this weekend if it were the end of July or beginning of August. OR tell me about your favorite summer shoes (there are several things in "Daisy Chain" that make me think about summertime and what it does to our feet). Each person that comments before Sunday, January 10 at 6 p.m. will be entered in the drawing for the book. (I'll use a fancy random drawing like so).

Fourteen Today

It was about noon on a bitterly cold Sunday. I remember standing at the sink, spotless except for the one glass I had been drinking out of. Troy went through the nesting phase, but I never did. The periodic pain in my belly and back were telling me that this rolling and active little girl was ready to make an appearance, but I wasn't ready. My feet were rooted to the floor of the kitchen, but Troy stood with the back door open, holding my bag, waving me out.

One tear rolled down my cheek, entirely too small to hold all the fear it carried. Yes, I was scared of what it would take to bring this child into the world, but I was scared of what to do with her once she got here.

Ashley is so different from me that it has been frustrating at times, but I've learned along with her. She was the child leading the way among the crowds at church, friends with young and old, all colors, but not desiring the spotlight at all. She cried any time anyone sang "Happy Birthday" to her (and for a while, cried any time any one sang "Happy Birthday" at all, for fear that they were singing it to her) and wouldn't sing in her pre-school program -- rather, cried. When she wanted to claim her Lord in baptism, she was ready, ready, READY -- but wanted NO ONE around.

She has a gift of compassion and love I envy. She wants to help everyone, she hurts to see anyone hurt. She is gentle and kind -- but DO NOT get in her way on the basketball court! She becomes a fierce competitor there and has no tolerance for teammates that don't work hard and carry their own weight.

She has been a gift from the Lord and the most gracious gift a new mother could have been given: a forgiving, loving blessing that turned into a lovely, precious young lady despite the many mistakes and flaws of her mother. I am so thankful for my Ashley and pray many blessings on her today, her fourteenth birthday!

Marriage Monday on Wednesday

Before Christmas when I told you all about my friend Dana losing her husband I mentioned that when he first became ill it was the year that Troy and I fought to put our marriage back together. I had MANY people message me privately about that statement. Some asking, "Okay, tell me how you did it..." and another person or two simply saying, "Good for you for fighting the fight."

One person that mentioned it to me said, "You should write about that on your blog...!" Please don't throw stones at the poor person -- they haven't known me long and don't know that many of you have heard ad nauseum about this very subject. But it did make me realize that not everyone has heard my story, and I wanted to be a little more intentional about using my blog to share some things I learned along the way.

So I would like to take some regular time this year to do just that -- share some things here on the blog that I regularly share with others privately. I don't mind people knowing where I've been, and I would LOVE for other people to be able to learn from where I've been. However, some of the road I've been on wasn't mine alone and I won't share every last detail here. But I can tell you enough to tell you that Troy and I looked each other in the eye and wondered if we would still be married the next month, much less the next year. And I can tell you that only God's grace and mercy could not only repair a marriage as broken as ours, but redeem it to the point that it is now.

*Truth in advertising disclaimer* We've had a GREAT last year, but for whatever reason the holidays were hard on our marriage. We're not in the best place EVER at this precise moment in time, but because of where we've been, I know that we have the tools to get back there. It's not all rainbows and lollipops in a redeemed marriage, but it has a different feel to it than a marriage that is just ... hanging on.

I had planned to start this today, then I listened to an AMAZING podcast yesterday on marriage that I would recommend to anyone -- in crisis or not. Even in my redeemed state, it led me to understand some things about my marriage that brought tears to my eyes and a repentant heart about what I have expected from Troy in the past.

Andy Stanley, of the Northpoint Church, has a podcast series on iTunes entitled 'iMarriage.' It's 3 lessons long. I've only heard the first one so far, but it was really good and I highly recommend it. (sorry, but I don't know how to link directly to things in iTunes: you can find it here under the 'Destinations' link)

What got my attention -- and cracked me up -- was that Stanley started out the lesson by saying that when a woman says to a man "We need to talk about our marriage..." (or tried to get him to come to that sermon) he hears it the same way she would hear him say "Have you heard that sound the car is making?"

She just wants to turn up the radio and ignore the sound the car is making! (Oh, yeah, he's been riding in the car with me!) She figures if the car is still running, why worry about what sound it's making? He figures if the marriage is still running, why talk about it? (Oh, yeah, he's been at our house, too!)

Well, I am living proof that if you turn up the radio too long on your car, the back wheels will fall slap off (didn't happen, but it was on its way according to my mechanic -- but I still wanted to turn up the radio). And if you leave a marriage be without checking on it, the wheels of your marriage will fall slap off (did happen -- awful, painful, can't even tell you...) and that is much harder to recover from. You can trade in your car, and some people try to trade in a marriage, but once the wheels fall off either one, trade-in value is greatly decreased.

This year I will tell you some of the things I did right to get my marriage back together, and I will share with you a few of the 3 million things I did wrong to get me in the spot where it needed to be put back together. Until I get to more practical topics, please just know that you aren't the only person who has ever felt lonely in a marriage, or wondered if you married the wrong person, or wondered if it was even worth sticking together. Trust me on this: it is absolutely, completely 100% worth it. I will explain why later.

Know that I am praying for marriages -- even if you don't comment, even if I don't know your name. I am praying for marriages that are hurting, and even marriages that are simply ... there. God can redeem those marriages and use them for Him.

Today I am posting Marriage Monday on Wednesday, joining Sheila Gregoire for Wifey Wednesday. She has some really down-to-earth great topics, starting with sex today!

Good Things Out There

Okay, y'all, this is everything I have been longing to say. Now, I would have said it nicer, but not nearly as funny. If some words trip you up on spelling, go check this out. Hilarious, and very, very necessary.

Roxanne posted one of my favorite musicians and songs. Did you know that we had a blue moon on New Year's Eve?

Trey is a consistent warrior for godly marriages. He has some great guidelines for husbands, and in turn great guidelines for wives.

I can't embed my favorite video, but you need to go see it. Twelve years ago today my friends Brian and Dana got married. One month ago today Brian took his last breath on this earth. Here is a video of Dana's very eloquent talk at Brian's funeral. It's about 10 minutes long, but worth your time.

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Happy New Year!

I have successfully spent this day doing basically nothing and loved every second of it. I started my day with Bibles and journals and notebooks and digressed into blog reading, internet perusing, and TV flipping. Did you know that you can carve abs in bed? Home shopping network says you can... Troy said not to consider it, but I thought about it.

I really hoped my day of doing nothing would rest me up and lead me to really want to get busy tomorrow -- putting away Christmas, organizing, decluttering, what have you. Not so much. I would like another day or seven of doing nothing.

I have just been completely out of sorts this holiday season. Don't know exactly what it is, but I wasn't ready for Christmas, I don't feel as rested as I usually do coming out of the holidays, therefore I am not very ready to greet 2010 (though I am almost 22 hours into it) and be all exuberant about plans or goals about it.

I've been reading writing blogs that tell me how or why I need to be making goals for my writing. And I haven't yet. And I know that to aim at nothing you'll hit it every time, right? But I am just without enough gumption to make a year-long goal for my writing. Maybe I will start with monthly goals and see how that works.

So, I have no plans, dreams, or goals for the whole of 2010 yet. Other than to have all of my Christmas decorations put away by the end of the weekend. And a pedicure with my daughter for her birthday sometime next week. Other than that, I'm aimless.

So... speak to me: what are your goals/ hopes/ dreams? I've heard some good ones on Facebook.

Give, and Give Abundantly

I have mentioned that I come from a family heritage of generous folk. I am thankful that was instilled in me and I have been able to see the blessing that comes in holding loosely to what God gives you.

I also will openly admit that I really like THINGS and struggle with wanting more things all the time, but I pray to frequently be called to mind that I am blessed beyond measure already and to "give as it has been given to me" (Luke 6:38).

If you are like me, end of year doesn't call to mind "have to give now to help out my taxes" -- end of year calls to mind (like every other end of month) "please let us make it a few more days until the paycheck comes in". But you MAY be thinking of places you would like to give MORE next year. If so, this is a great list of the 10 Most Fiscally Responsible Charities. Several of these hold a very special place in my heart.

Compassion International is a wonderful organization that changes children's lives worldwide. I am pleased to see that they are considered to be fiscally responsible. For the cost of 1 family's meal eating out per month, a child's life could be changed forever. Definitely worth looking into.

International Rescue Committee is an organization that places refugees in safe homes in a new country. I had an opportunity to interview our local office, and my heart really went out to the refugees who are starting completely over. Again, happy to hear that they are fiscally responsible since they do so much good.

World Vision also has opportunities to sponsor children, and does much more beyond that internationally. A great organization to donate to.

Of course, there are many local organizations that deserve your money and may be dearer to your heart. The important thing is to give and give generously!

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38

Sportsmanship of the Decade

Last week I stumbled across this list of acts of sportsmanship over the last decade. Many of them I had heard of when they happened -- and they made me cry the first time and this time, as well. Of course, I had to point these out to my athlete-children, and I hope you will to yours, as well. I don't include all of them, here, only my favorites:

April 26, 2008: In the top of the second inning, Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky hit a pitch over the left field fence with two runners on against Central Washington, for whom a loss would mean elimination from a possible NCAA Division II playoff berth. But when Tucholsky rounded first base, she accidentally missed the bag. As she doubled back to touch it, her cleats stuck in the ground and she tore the ACL in her right knee.
While Tucholsky writhed on the ground in pain, the umpires consulted the rule book and declared that if any of her teammates aided her around the bases, she would be called out. Central Washington's senior first baseman, Mallory Holtman, her school's career leader in homers who was facing her final collegiate game if her team were to lose, had an idea: She would help her opponent round the bases. Holtman locked eyes with shortstop Liz Wallace and the two of them picked up Tucholsky and carried her, dipping the stricken runner at each base so she could touch the bag and complete the home run that she had rightfully earned.

November 7, 2008: Grapevine Faith, a small Christian school in suburban Dallas-Fort Worth, was hosting an unusual opponent: Gainesville State School, a maximum-security correctional facility for teenaged male felons. Gainesville plays all of its games on the road, and its students, who arrive in handcuffs, use old equipment. Grapevine Faith's coach, Kris Hogan, created a welcoming environment by splitting his school's fans and cheerleaders into nearly equal groups. When Gainesville's players got off their bus, they were greeted with a 40-yard spirit line and a "Go Tornadoes" banner for them to run through at the end. Their designated "fans" even cheered them by name. Faith won, 33-14, but Gainesville's players raved about their treatment. In the postgame prayer circle, one said, "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank you, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."
Extended article here (amazing).

October 15, 2005:

Mount Gilead High sophomore Van Houten shot 144 over two rounds to win the Ohio Division II golf tournament by six strokes. After signing his scorecard, however, Van Houten double-checked his rounds and realized that he had recorded the 10th hole one stroke better than he had actually scored. For Van Houten, this meant that he had had actually defeated the field by five strokes, rather than the six he was credited for. The stroke in question would have no bearing on the competition, only on Van Houten's conscience, so he reported the error even though he knew that a card signed with an incorrect score disqualifies the player. Thus, Van Houten lost the tournament and his state title.

February 7, 2009: The basketball teams at Milwaukee Madison (Wisc.) and DeKalb (Ill.) high schools were scheduled to meet, but earlier that day Madison's senior captain, Johntel Franklin, lost his mother to cancer. Franklin's coach, Aaron Womack Jr., planned to cancel the game, but Franklin insisted that his team play,and appeared at the gym in the second quarter, directly from the hospital. Womack called timeout so his players could greet their grieving teammate. Franklin asked if he could play, but his name and uniform number had not been entered into the scorer's book. Doing so would cost his team a technical foul. DeKalb asked the referees to overlook the rule, but they insisted on following the book. DeKalb's coach, Dave Rohlman, asked for a volunteer to take the free throws. McNeal shot the ball two feet. His second shot didn't go even that far. Madison's players and the crowd stood and applauded. Once the game resumed, Franklin scored 10 points and helped Madison to a 62-47 win. "I did it for the guy who lost his mom," McNeal told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. "It was the right thing to do."

Now that we have had to be inundated with Tiger's off-course activities and too many other sports atrocities, it is so nice to see young people in sports acting so honorably on the courts and fields.

Good Things Out There

Why didn't I ever think of this? I've never needed it, but I've heard of so many sad stories of lost cameras at Disney World, on airplanes, etc. This is a great idea to avoid that mishap.

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Christmas, Poppa Max Style

As I consider the upcoming holidays, I would love to write an article about slowing down, enjoying this time of year, and remembering the reason for the season. The reality is that by the time this article is published I will be eating Tums as a regular meal, darting from one activity to another as a crazed woman with her hair aflame, and I will probably be on my way to a party that I resent needing to attend and coughing up money for a gift I didn’t exactly agree to give but am expected to contribute to. The rut is too deep, the habits too engrained, and I know myself too well. This will be a season of running and rushing and spending. So, instead of trying to take some things OUT of the season, I have decided to add TO the season.

As my family gathers this year for Christmas, there will be a very large hole. My grandfather, who we referred to as Poppa Max, finished his 90 years on this earth this year and is celebrating around the throne of Him whose birth we celebrate. My grandfather was a big man, in stature as well as personality. His absence this season will be tangible. So, to honor his memory, I have decided to add some things into my holiday season to make it Christmas, Poppa Max style:
1. I will take an active part in spreading some of the magic of the holidays. Not only was my grandfather a physically large man, he had an enormous bass voice. As our family gathered on Christmas Eve, he would make phone calls to some of our pre-school aged friends as Santa Claus. Many were left in speechless wonder. Maybe I will jingle some of Santa’s bells outside a doubting child’s bedroom window; maybe I will give some of my younger friends reindeer food for them to sprinkle on their lawn on Christmas Eve; maybe I will help Santa respond to some of his mail. I will do something to spread the magic of this season this year.
2. I will remember Christmas for “the least of these”. Under my grandparent’s tree, there was always a gift for a Down’s Syndrome gentleman that is my parents’ age that attends the same church. Sometimes a record, sometimes a new coloring book, it was always a very tiny something to let Mitchell know there was a family that loved him. I will look around and see folks that others may not notice and just let them know that there is someone that loves them.
3. I will give and give some more. Giving was not a holiday exercise for my grandfather, it was his attitude and way of life. I will give in secret throughout the year – just a little secret between my Poppa Max and me.
4. I will laugh and laugh loudly. With his enormous voice, Poppa Max also had a grand laugh that filled the room. During the holiday season, it came quite easily, so tickled was he to be surrounded by family. I will put aside spending concerns and scheduling conundrums at least once a day to laugh with my family. I will let them know that my joy in their presence cannot be contained and I must laugh.

I think we all look back at folks who have made Christmas magical and special for us in the past and are no longer with us to celebrate. May you find something in those memories to share with others, spreading the magic and laughing all the way.

(originally posted 12/18/07)

"He Had in Mind to Divorce Her Quietly"

I am part of a faith that for years ignored Christmas. Yes, ignored Christmas. The reasoning was that we celebrated Jesus' birth every day, so we shouldn't make any day more important than the other. I never got that -- the rest of the world is finally talking about the birth of our Savior and we're going to ignore it? Huh?

I actually grew up in a "liberal" church and had a rebel Christmas tree in the building and everything. But only in the last few years have I really been enjoying the true focus of the season. We have had Christmas services -- no, we still don't have service ON Christmas or Christmas Eve, we have to go elsewhere for that, and my family does -- but we have services centered around that blessed event of the birth of our Savior. I'm so glad.

Since I've been a mother, the part about Mary has really gotten to me, and now that my daughter is approximately the age we think Mary was at the time she gave birth (Ashley is almost 14, we think Mary was 14 or 15) I just am haunted by what that must have been like, and think of Mary and her obedience.

This scripture really gave me pause this weekend:

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:
“The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”–which means, “God with us.”
When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. Matthew 1:18,19

I don't know how long it was between Joseph making that decision to "divorce" (break the engagement) Mary and the angel showing up, but I would venture a guess that Mary was aware that Joseph wasn't pleased with the situation, and at least had the honor to keep publicly quiet about it.

I wondered how out of control she must have felt, how she must have wondered what crazy road God was dragging her down when nothing was going as she thought it would, and she probably felt very alone.

Of course, all of that is complete speculation. But I do suspect there may be a grain of truth in there somewhere.

And I wonder do we ever feel out of control, wondering what crazy road God is dragging us down, nothing going like we think it should, feeling very alone on this earth -- when the author of creation has The Plan engraved on His palm? When He who loves us more perfectly than we can know has us in His hand?

Yes, I think that must happen all the time. This Christmas, may you know Him and His perfect love for you.

He's a Texas Boy

Waking the kids for a holiday-schedule at church, I pointed out how nice it was that they got to sleep late enough for the sun to be up.

"Isn't that great? The sun is already shining! Riley, you need to wear your long pants."

"What's the weather?"

"It's 32*

"Then the sun isn't shining. It's just for decoration."

I'll take that kind of decoration! If it must be 32*, please let the sun be out! What about you? 32* and cloudy, 32* and sunny, or please don't make me live where it ever gets 32*?

Good Things Out There

This is a very inspiring post about not overindulging during the holidays. Be it food or money issues, this is a great read.

John does a great job of summing up the deal with Facebook and privacy settings. Somewhere along the way, I accidentally got it right. Thanks for this post, John.


If you know me personally just a little bit, you know that I really drag through the winter. I can tell this winter will be rough since it got cold earlier than usual this year here. I came across these tips that I think really hit home. I encourage you to check them out, too.

If you only read one of these, make it this one. Remember that not everyone is having a holly jolly Christmas. And don't forget in our busyness to stop and take a moment to lift up those that are struggling.




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Classic

Best quote and summation I've seen in a while:

"Hey Facebook users: stop pretending your data is protected from prying eyes. It’s all in the open. You can try to complain, but you can’t fight city hall. Better just to let it go, and embrace Facebook for what it is: the biggest bathroom wall in the world, and one that anyone can write on and that everyone can see."

Jim Louderback

More Good Things

I don't know if I'm being supremely lazy or thoughtful lately, but there is much out on the internet that I long to share with you! Too much for yesterday's "Good Things" so it has run over. (I guess if I were smart I would save some for next week, but I'm not)

I have mentioned my friend Jana many times before. Love her. A woman whose inner beauty is perfectly reflected on the outside. She had this to say on facebook to new grads (she teaches college, so some graduated this weekend). Feel free to pass it along because it is golden wisdom that is hard to come by:

Message to new grads: Finding God's will is not geography; it's not some dot that you have to get to & if not, your life will be ruined. It is about who you are & about making decisions informed by what pleases God. Do what pleases God, and you will be in His will. Are you taking the "right" job? Are you marrying the "right" person? Take the job, marry the guy/gal, and please God in those choices. I would have been relieved to know that 20 years ago. I thought there might be one "right" job and years later, one "right" person. Looking back, I know that I could have pursued a number of paths. The point was not geography; God's will was honoring him, no matter where the choices led me. And that, my friends, is the very good news for the newest graduates here, and for all of us, really.

Indeed.

The next good thought is too long to copy and paste here. You must go over and read here. If you have had a thought about money in the last week, go read. No, really. I'm not kidding. I'll even let you enter those free giveaways at Dave Ramsey, but you still need to read this if you have had any thoughts about money. Seriously.

And there is much more. But I will try and actually write something for you to think about. Wow. What if I wrote something that someone ELSE said to "go read". Yeah, it's been known to happen, but not lately. 'Cause, see? You have to do some actual writing first! True that.

Happy Monday to all and to all... the happiest of Mondays!

Good Things Out There

I know I have talked much about Dana and Brian. Humor me one more. Whitney, the talented sister-in-law photographer, wrote beautifully about it from her point of view. Check it out.

This is just like my friend Vann and his wife, Susan. Love this story.

This article talks about something I have really wanted to say FOR YEARS but haven't been brave enough. The linked blog also has a lot of good information.

If you drink bottled water because you think it's cleaner than tap, read this. Yikes.

I have seen this written by Mike Cope. He recorded it not too long ago. It still touches my heart. We may have quarters in stockings this year -- for several reasons...

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The GiveAways! The Bloggy Giveaways!!

For. The. Love! These bloggy folks are outdoing themselves in the giveaways here at the end of the year and I will confess that I am spending no small amount of time frolicking to and fro flitting from blog to blog entering some contests.

First, I started here to enter to win an HP TouchSmart computer thingy-joober. If I win it, I will be sure to know what the official name is, but it is just WAY COOL!! Check it out!

Also, Dave Ramsey, financial guru extraordinaire, is having various daily giveaways all through the month of December. I feel certain I just missed my phone call that I won the $3,000 cash. But that means I can still enter! You know you want to enter, too!

As I mentioned, I'm having a hard time finding some holiday spirit. I think today may be the day. Maybe. I MIGHT buy a Christmas present today. But I just saw that the UT head coach got his salary bumped from $3 million to $5 million. Maybe I'll just ask him to buy Christmas for my family.

We had a funny discussion at the table this week: worst Christmas gift ever received, and you couldn't mention any given by anyone sitting at the table! :-) I couldn't think of one, honestly, and I can't out the others because, virtually, you are all now sitting at the table...

What about you -- worst Christmas gift ever received? Spill it!

Prayers for the Day

(sighing as I begin...)

Some of you may want to know "how was the funeral" -- it was awful and it was beautiful. It was lovely and amazing and painful and heartwrenching. All that you would expect. If you were there, you know. If you weren't, my apologies, but my words can't do it justice.

I can sum up -- over 700 people attended in a room designed for about 500. Dana, Brian's very brave and beautiful wife, felt called to speak, and did so eloquently and with grace. Most people's reaction is, "...HOW???" The only answer I have to that is, "By the grace of God." The same way she will put one foot in front of the other for many years to come. Dana spoke beautifully of their love for each other and their love for the Lord. She thanked both sets of parents for how much they had helped in their time of need. She didn't say this outright, but alluded to it and made me think -- don't wait until it's too late to honor and appreciate your spouse. Tell them now what s/he means to you.

Pray for Dana, and Rian, and Rhea, and Reid and all of us that are struggling through the pain of losing a dear and precious man.

In my Immanuel book, I came across a prayer that many of you may already be familiar with, that I love dearly. She refers to it as "The Breastplate of St. Patrick". You will find that in many different forms on the internet, but this small portion is a beautiful prayer to pray:

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Christ on my right hand, Christ on my left hand,
Christ all around me, shield in the strife;
Christ in my sleeping, Christ in my sitting,
Christ in my rising, light of my life.

Christ be beside me, Christ be before me,
Christ be behind me, King of my heart;
Christ be within me, Christ be below me,
Christ be above me, never to part.

Then, Vann posted another beautiful prayer on his blog. I think if you pray the one above frequently, it will make the one below easier to pray.

Deliver me, Jesus, from the desire to be praised,
honored, glorified, preferred, consulted, or approved.
Deliver me, Jesus, from the fear of being humiliated,
criticized, forgotten, ridiculed, maltreated, and
from the fear of what others will think.
O Jesus give me the grace to desire: that others
would be loved and esteemed ahead of me,
that in the eyes of the world they would increase
while I decrease, and praised while I pass by
unnoticed; that others would be preferred in all
situations; that others would become more than
myself -- in order that I would be as holy as You
want me to be. -- Charles de Foucauld

And, today, praying that you are blessed beyond measure.

Tomorrow, I promise to LIGHTEN UP around here! I do have some fun things to take care of on the old blog, and some other fun things to talk about. But, I honestly need you to help me find my holiday spirit. What can I do to find some holiday spirit?

Good Things Out There

Leigh is the most fun ever. She is also a precious woman of God. I love this blog. It challenged me on many levels. Thanks, Leigh.

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Thank You For Asking!

Needing to get out of town for Brian's funeral, but the kids wanting to stay here for church activities, I started calling around getting my kids squared away with church folks who are neighbors and have kids our kids' ages.

Thankfully, I didn't have to make too many calls -- people were very willing to help. But the second call I made totally blew me away. I told her what I needed: my child to spend the night at her house on a school night, some transportation for both of my children the night before, and some transportation for one of my children on a school morning. A Monday morning, at that.

This precious saint, like the other, said, "Oh, absolutely, I would be happy to help you out." But what she said after that really blew me away. "I'm honored that you would ask me. Thank you so much for asking me."

Um, seriously? Well, you are so welcome to be asked to be inconvenienced.

But on a small scale I know what she means. I hate to hear sometimes that someone needed help and I wasn't aware of it to help. So, indeed, I'm thankful to know when people are willing to let me help -- but to go so far as thanking them for asking me? Well, why wouldn't I?

I will certainly do that from now on. Have YOU ever thanked someone for asking you for help?

I also need your help -- Good Things Out There for tomorrow. Lay it on me. What's the best of the internet this week? Preferably blogs, but any good writing, thinking, or inspiration you can find. What do you think?

Grieving, As One With Hope, Is Still Painful...

These are my friends Brian and Dana. How cute are they?Here is Brian with their three kids. Also precious.
These beautiful pictures were taken by Dana's sister-in-law, Whitney, who has this photography business that captures life stories that make you want to squeeze your family. Thank you, David (Dana's brother/ Whitney's husband), for letting me steal these off of your facebook page without your permission or knowledge. :-)

Brian lost his valiant fight with cancer this morning. I have so much to say about it that I will say very little. Brian was tough as nails and gentle with those babies.

Troy grew up with Dana. I've known her since she was in college and Troy and I first got married. Almost 20 years, I guess. She and Brian were dating then, I think. We all wondered if it would last -- young love, you know. Troy was supposed to sing at their wedding, but came down with the flu, so Riley was my date. Riley was about 5 weeks old, a little butterball of a date that drooled on me through the night.

Dana is my friend that we can not talk for months and when we see each other cut right to the core and talk about real things. When Brian was first diagnosed with cancer and had gone through horrific treatment and was in remission, I was in town for a day or two and Dana came to where I was after she got off work (nurse).

It was late -- 8 or 9 p.m. before she got there. We talked long and hard about what our lives had been like recently -- Brian initially battled cancer the same year Troy and I fought to put our marriage back together. When she finally went to leave, we weren't even all the way talked out, but we both had children to be nice to at some point. She was out on the driveway leaving -- and threw the newspaper back to me. It was 4:30 in the morning and the next day's paper had already come. That's how caught up we were getting. It still makes me smile.

I am so thrilled for where Brian is now, but I have hurt so much to know what life has been like for Dana -- and what it will be like for her from now on.

1 Thessalonians 4:13,14 says:

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

No, I do not grieve as one with no hope, but I do indeed grieve. My heart hurts and I am very sad. Holding onto hope and praying peace for Dana and all of the family.

Money Saving

Just a quick stop in today to tell you how to save some dollars! Heaven knows we could all use some dollar-saving here at Christmas time!

I have been into couponing out of necessity, as have some of you.

I do subscribe to Grocery Game. It's a pay service and can save you at least as much as your subscription cost. There are pros and cons, and I would be happy to answer any questions about it.

I happened across Couponing 101, which is free and has almost as much information as the pay site. Big thumbs up.

Keeping the Kingdom First is another good blog about living frugally.

If you want to do much online shopping for Christmas, you will want to know about Want Not. Lots of good deals. Updated ... hourly it seems. Crazy deals, she has.

That's all I've got for now. What about you? Julie is over there finding crafty blogs. Are you finding good blogs? Are you finding ways to be frugal? What are you up to these days?

Advent Season/ Conspiracy

Um, well, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry December to you.

So.

I have been a bit absentee. Have you noticed? No, probably not.

I will tell you -- I am heavy hearted. Much going on that is just too much for my heart to carry. So glad that sweet little baby was born over 2,000 years ago and promised he could carry it for me, 'cause I simply can't.

One precious daddy we know is at death's door -- the oldest of his 3 children in first grade. I cannot make it make sense, though I have begged God to do it (I can stand anything, go through anything, as long as it is logical to me). God refuses to have it make sense to me, but he has assured me He is in it -- there with that family holding them close. Please pray for the White and Scott families.

Other situations swirl my head and weigh my heart down, but I am happy to hand them over to the Lord.

As we enter into a time of Advent-- that the dictionary defines as "an arrival or coming, especially one which is awaited" -- I have been studying this book by Ann Spangler. Immanuel: Praying the Names of God Through the Christmas Season. I went through it once a few years ago and simply loved it. It is a precious reminder of what this time of year is for and the One who we worship through it all. I highly recommend it.

And, thanks to our youth minister, I have been reminded of the Advent Conspiracy campaign.

Spend less. Give more. Worship fully. Love all. Now I could get into that.

Good Things Out There

My friend Julie moved to California -- seems like last week to me, but I think it's actually been almost a year ago now. She has been busy, busy, un-wallpapering her house, painting her un-wallpapered walls, and if that weren't enough, making these adorable little guys to sell at a holiday boutique this weekend. Hope it went well for her!

This post kind of hit me squarely between the eyes. It kind of called me on the carpet for what I like to call "lazy compassion" -- what I am FREQUENTLY guilty of practicing. Worth a read. Worth letting it change your heart.

Anybody ever ask you to pray but not give you details what TO pray. Keep praying. Someday you might here an amazing story like this one. Wow.

This made me gasp. And smile. And stop and appreciate my kids instead of doing FOR my kids.

Since Riley's birthday is the week before Thanksgiving, we have made these little handprint turkeys at his birthday party before. Several cute ideas.

One of those clever videos from my church:

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Where Does the Time Go?

Y'all, I miss one day blogging, then I miss almost a week! Wow.

Tonight is finally FINALLY the first basketball game for Ashley. We are all so excited. We even picked up a mouth-guard so that the million-dollar orthodontia stays in place.

I don't remind you often about my A Better View gig, but I would encourage you to catch up if you haven't been listening. We have the best time over there. This weekend would be a good time to download to your iPod or onto CD's and listen while you travel for Thanksgiving. Our most recent show has a special guest that was a joy to be with. Stop over here and check us out. We are on iTunes, also (which is the best way to download to your ipod, etc.)

This song has really haunted me lately. I'll try to post lyrics underneath. Very beautiful:

Lyrics | Leeland lyrics - Follow You lyrics

Yes, he has taken care of all of my needs -- how could I not give it away so freely. Truly, may I follow Him into the homes that are broken and meet the needs of the poor and needy.

Have a great Thursday.

Good Things Out There

How cute are these little pilgrim hat Thanksgiving place cards? You'll want to make some of those!

Mary constantly challenges me as a writer, but above that, as a child of God. This hit it on the head for me. Thanks for the challenge, Mary.

Anyone else think this centerpiece is just a little over the top? Don't think I could eat Thanksgiving dinner with him staring at me...

I usually like to show off the video skills of my church here. I had planned to do that, but ran across this video. It's from my church, but not super-great video skills, but some super-great church family. Remember this summer when I showed you the video of the "JK Wedding Entrance Dance" that had its 15 minutes of fame? Well, at our church's summer camp, the counselors relived it for the kids. How fun is this? The guy in the do-rag that somersaults in? Yeah, he was Troy's youth minister when Troy was Ashley's age. We love our church family. I'm so thankful for all of these guys making memories for my kids. It was the hit of camp.

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Friday Reminders

Quick check-in.

Busy end of week. Yesterday I substituted in PE. I had a blast playing with kids, but was reminded why I quit teaching by stopping to talk to a first grade teacher. She was grieving over the loss of a student who had moved away. He had only been in her class for 6 days, had been a complete terror the entire time he had been there, but she grieved losing him. Why? Because mom isn't legally to have custody of him, and she fears for his future. She hates not knowing, she hates having to release it and worry about the other 20 kids in her class, equally needy. And she told me all of this with blue glitter stuck to her top lip. All reasons I am thankful I left teaching. I'm not emotionally equipped for it. Thank you, teachers, for continuing to soldier on, fighting for the kids whose parents won't.

Last night was the awards ceremony. Everyone at my house had an awful day on the way to it, yet we made it, looked great, and smiled all the same. By the time I tried to get everyone dressed and happy and sit through all of that, I came home with a migraine, but we are all still very proud, Ashley has now survived missing a sporting event and lived to tell about it, and the weekend is here. God bless us every one.

Today I am substituting in PE again. Precious little ones, stinky big ones all. And God sent me a reminder for my writing, as well. Just a sweet little note from someone I don't keep up with often to say: "Your writing is really making a difference in my life." I am blessed and my cup overflows. Honestly, I have been talking to God recently about just such an affirmation. Just a LITTLE something to let me know to keep going. Should I keep going or get a "real job"? Thank you, Lord, for perfect timing of precious souls.

There is deer hunting and truck hunting and birthday party-ing and Girls Conference-ing this weekend. I, personally, don't have a busy weekend planned, but everyone around me does! What about you? What's going on at your house?

Wait. Ing...

Do you know what you get when you have involved teens that are not quite old enough to drive? You get a LOT of waiting.

It seems to begin to be a major reality in middle school. I'm sure it will reach a crescendo before there is finally a driver's license, but then I will still be waiting... for my car, or for someone to come home.

Now it's waiting for athletics to get out. Or carpool to come home from athletics, or carpool to pick up to go to school, or waiting for it to be time to leave for carpool, or waiting for soccer practice to start or finish or see if it is rained out. This week I have also waited for All-City band auditions to start and then to finish, and for a game to start. At tennis matches you have to wait for a court. Lots and lots of waiting.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. One mom I consider a precious mentor told me that is when she started doing needlepoint -- so that she would feel like she had accomplished something by the time soccer/basketball/ band was finally over. It has definitely helped to have a laptop now. I can work on articles, or jot down thoughts. I may need to throw a journal in the car for times that don't require a laptop, but when my brain is full-to-overflowing, as today.

Some days it is hard to remember that this is simply a passing season of life, just like the diaper days were, just like preschool and elementary. But I shall have to do more waiting to move on to another season. May I remember, too, that this is one of my last seasons of parenting with children in my nest -- the waiting season.

Perhaps I should spend more of it in prayer.

Veteran's Day Lesson

I got this email yesterday for Veteran's Day:

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock , did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks out of her classroom.

When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks.

'Ms. Cothren, where're our desks?'

She replied, 'You can't have a desk until you tell me how you earn the right to sit at a desk.'

They thought, 'Well, maybe it's our grades.'

'No,' she said.

'Maybe it's our behavior.'

She t old them, 'No, it's not even your behavior.'

And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom.

By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms.Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room.

The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the deskless classroom, Martha Cothren said, 'Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.'

At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and o pened it.

Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall. By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned..

Martha said, 'You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it's up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget it.'

In checking snopes.com to see if this was true or not, I read this: "I talked to Martha Cothren about that day also her military history class. This daughter of a World War II POW regularly has veterans visit her classroom -- it's one of the ways she teaches her course on the history of World War II and the Vietnam War. Her class doesn't yet have a textbook (she is busy writing one), so she uses less typical methods of imparting knowledge about those events to her students. Part and parcel of what she teaches is an appreciation for members of the armed forces."

May God bless Martha Cothren with many years of teaching, and God bless the men and women who serve our country in the armed forces.

So Thankful for a Village

My daughter, my beautiful athletic daughter, is being recognized as an "outstanding youth of our city" by one of the local civic clubs this week. Troy and I are, as you might imagine, quite proud.

The outstanding youth, I will confess, is less than amused by the whole ordeal for two main reasons:

a) it appears that she will have to miss her first basketball game of the season for the award ceremony and

b) semi-formal attire suggested.

Bless.

Missing the basketball game I can deal with. The 'semi-formal attire' strikes as much fear into me as if I were going to be asked to take her place in the basketball game. Y'all, I still need Garanimals for Grown-Ups. I am in no shape to be outfitting another person, ESPECIALLY one who may or may not have a very strong opinion about what she may or may not like to wear.

Because I am so handicapped in this arena, my daughter has been handicapped. Shopping is always an ordeal, I hate it, she hates it, we do as little as possible and move on. We can't communicate AT ALL what works, what doesn't and why it doesn't. It's terrible.

But, the outstanding youth of the city needs semi-formal attire. The Optimist Club has spoken. I can procrastinate no more. I just may need reinforcements.

I called my friend from church knowing that she would know where to go, what was in, what to get, how not to spend an entire fortune. Even better, she said, "Would you like for me to come with you?" Tears welled in my eyes. "Would you? Please?"

This precious woman met us and had the best time "playing dress up" with my daughter. What a God-send for both of us. We had already had one tense argument about who-knows-what. The Fairy Godmother of Fashion came in and smoothed it all out, finding us bargains and fashion, making one and all happy.

That, right there, is why I go to church. Not in its entirety, but that is why I have a church family. I don't have blood family in this town and, even if I did, love ya, mom, but you simply couldn't do what this lady could -- but mom could do math homework like nobody's business! Fashion and putting stuff together was as easy for this woman as breathing.

I don't know how she does it -- let's call it her spiritual gift. Honestly. Because last week, she blessed my socks off by bringing peace (and fashion) into my family. If that isn't a spiritual gift, I don't know what is!

So, seriously, if you think you have NOTHING to offer the Lord, you may have a gift that your sister-in-need does not. Simply be willing to say, "Can I help you do that?" You NEVER know where someone is seriously handicapped. Me? Fashionably handicapped.

So thankful to belong to a body of Christ where we all have strengths and weaknesses and people are willing to treat my family like family. I am blessed.

Marriage Monday: Use Your Words

I have mentioned, a time or fifteen, that Troy has been traveling quite a bit of late. Today? Leaving again...

I also mentioned last week that I called in to 'make sure you received my article' and got a 'no, thank you' -- actually it wasn't even 'no, thank you', but bordering on rude. That was about 2 weeks ago while Troy was, imagine it, traveling.

It's a crummy way to start the day and I was having a hard time getting focused on getting any writing done when Troy sent me a text letting me know what time he would be home that afternoon. I replied with a quick 'this person said 'no' and really didn't try to be polite and I'm a little sad' text. His reply to that still brings tears to my eyes (in a good way... :-)

"You'll have the last laugh..."

He was saying to me, "I believe in what you are doing. I know you will make it. Keep plugging away." I can't put into words how much it meant to me to have those words at that moment.

Let your spouse know that you believe in his/her dreams and goals, as well. Obviously, it doesn't have to be with a long speech or bulleted points, just a "I know you can do it," or something of that nature.

I am blessed beyond measure that even amidst his frantic schedule, my precious husband sees the need to take the time to encourage me and let me know he believes in me. I'll take a lesson from him.

Observing Life

When you do that whole "do the difficult thing first" plan, you have the potential of starting your day by having a "yes, we received your article, no, we aren't interested" phone call. Maybe you should save those for the end of the day.

What a Week and What's for Dinner

It's been quite a week around here, hence the silence.

It started at the end of last week with the death of a dear man from church. He, his wife, and his 7 year old granddaughter that they are raising sat right behind us in church each week. Long story about what happened, but it was very unexpected. Late 50's, worked at my kids school as a speech therapist, sang on the praise team with Troy, precious man of God. He was one of the very few people that could be counted on to read from the Bible as if the words on the page actually spoke to him (reading it otherwise is a bit of a peeve of mine).

His funeral blessed me beyond measure, calling me to walk more closely with Jesus. It was truly inspirational. Troy was blessed to do the music for the funeral and I was, as usual, proud beyond proud of him. I married a good man.

Amongst the funeraling there has also been other snapshots of God's amazing works: his mercies and grace sprinkled throughout relationships and activities all through our lives. Details may sound boring to you, and not all are available for publication, but let me remind you: God is in the details.

If you aren't a facebook friend, you have missed that I am on a quest to get more of my writing published, which I jokingly refer to as "racking up the rejections". It's just a matter of kissing a few frogs before you find your prince, or getting lots of doors slammed in your face. The quest continues. Right now I do not have "the book" in the works, but columns and/ or articles -- magazine or newspaper.

Also, you may have missed that I posed the question on facebook: what do I do with leftover rotisserie chicken? I got a VERY long answer that I posted here on my recipe blog. I went with chicken spaghetti, thank you, Robin.

So my Friday begins. A full, yet relaxing weekend begins here at my house. Deer season starts this weekend -- so long, Troy -- and one of the kids is having a friend over. Life is what it should be. Yet, my heart is heavy. Thursday was already a little sad for me with cancer continuing to ravage too many too young, and others face hard times, but the Fort Hood mess takes my breath away. A few short miles from where I first started teaching, first lived with Troy as his wife, and became a mom, I am as stunned as you are by the horrific violence at Fort Hood. Praying for the hearts that are breaking and struggling to understand.