Marriage Monday: Let's Talk!

Look at me! Posting Marriage Monday on Monday! Get outta town!

Next thing you know I may even be taking my coupons to the store and USING them! But let's not get carried away...

Today's post is just a quick little idea that I am stealing borrowing from my favorite "date-your-spouse" site, The Dating Divas (sure, they really are my favorite -- but how many "date-your-spouse" sites are out there? Thank you, Dating Divas, for realizing what we all need!)

On this post, Corie planned a fun evening at home for her and her man: some treats and games. But her game was simply "let's talk." Nothing says "night-o-fun" to a guy like "let's talk" -- however, she cut up some pre-printed questions, had them at the ready, and spent time learning even more about her husband of 16 years.

As I read over the questions, I realized that after 19 years of marriage, I might pass on how Troy would answer, but some of them I don't know. Some of them he may not know.  I probably won't save these for "Date Night" -- I may pull out 2 or 3 every night before he completely shuts his brain off in the evenings. Just a way to touch base without the usual yammering about what is or isn't happening in our day.

So I made mine. In 5 minutes. On a Monday -- in which I had a splitting headache. So it is not cute, like this one. Alas, it is done. I did search for ribbon that I used to own, and still might, but it is packed in boxes somewhere. But it will work.

I also really like that it came from this original idea: "Hot Topics" -- a dinnertime conversation starter. You know I am all about eating dinner together as a family on a regular basis. Sometimes we are so tired we just shovel our food in and not much is said. These would be great to just pass out one per meal. It would only take one, because someone would have to argue why the answer was the most ridiculous thing in the world, I would have to retrain about manners and respect, and the evening would be a success!

Obviously this isn't rocket science for a Marriage Monday, but I thought it was fun.


Do you have any easy date night ideas?

Marriage Monday: Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut

I kind of have a mixed bag of stuff I want to talk about for MM. But one thing is weighing heavy on my heart.

A friend -- acquaintance, really -- that I don't know super well, but has given me the honor of hearing some fairly personal information, is really struggling in marriage. I will call that friend, FOGMC (Friend whO is Going to Marriage Counseling!) And, it would mean a lot to both FOGMC and myself if you would pray for FOGMC. I'm being totally serious. God knows who it is, and a marriage is in crisis.

Listening to FOGMC, I realize many things, but it seems to me that the main one is that spouse is pretty much where, in FOGMC's eyes -- can do nothing right. If spouse tries to do right things, it is too little too late and only to keep FOGMC from leaving. If spouse doesn't do right things, well, it's just more of the same. FOGMC openly admitted frustration and was heading to counseling and asked for prayers and a little advice. I have way more in the prayer department than I do advice!

I've been there, haven't you? Okay, maybe YOU are still a gooey newlywed. But what about the grouchy person next to you? Haven't YOU been where your spouse breathing/ helping/ walking/ being upright was annoying to you and you were CONVINCED you married the wrong person?

How did you get out of it? Are you out of it? You should really get out of it. Let me tell you how. When I figure it out.

One thing I thought of while talking with FOGMC was that I try to step back and remember what made me fall head over heels for my cowboy in the first place. Of course, it helped that he was crazy about ME. :-) But I look for those things that I remember from the "gooey love" days that I was crazy about... and if I look around, still am crazy about.

I try to remember to bite my tongue about the stuff that doesn't matter -- and remind myself how much it doesn't matter.

If something is hugely important to me, I calmly make it known. Too often, I do this backwards and fuss and gripe about the little things, yet the really big things I will swallow and stew on for... whatever reason. "Well, he should know!" Uh-- how will he know if I don't tell him??

And, when it all boils down to it, I start to date him again. Not necessarily take him out on a date. That would require us being in the same zip code AND awake for longer than 47 minutes. Our life isn't lending itself to that currently. But remember when you were dating? When you called just because you HAD to hear his voice? Or you sent him funny stuff in the mail? Or left cute stuff in his car? (Yes, I'm making mental notes of all the things I should be doing...)

I have really been enjoying the Dating Divas website for all of their great ideas for dates and other ways to say "I love you".  Here is a list of things that weigh 13 ounces or less, so can be mailed for around a dollar or two. I love that this lady just sticks them in the mail. A flip flop. A playground ball. Whatev. How fun is that? Send some mail to your spouse at work to break up an otherwise blechy week.

What about you? Do you have any thoughts or ideas? When life presses in and you just seem stuck?

Marriage Mondy: SURPRISE!

Before I get started, let me be the first to point out that yes, yes I did miss a day in my "month of posting every day" in September. Nope, it wasn't yesterday (PLEASE tell me you watched that precious video) or Saturday (Scott, I will NOT pay for your therapy because of that pic). Those I had scheduled to post, but Friday? Y'all -- I was just having too much fun! I won't regale you with all of my fun, but I had a lot of fun with a new friend and my kids. I even got to spend time with Troy, who was home for a few minutes in the morning before his flight out of town.

So I missed a day and I'm just going to be okay with that.

For Marriage Monday I want to tell you about the absolute CUTEST thing my sweet husband did for me while he was out of town.

While I'm bragging on my man I'll go ahead and tell you it made me feel like a big creep because I had planned to set him up a VERY simple little goody box like this one on the Dating Divas site... and I fell into my Pinterest black hole just didn't take the time to do it. :-( So, he is at least 35 points ahead in the spouse rewards points game. You know what that means? Next movie = explosions and blood, next dinner out = major side of beef, and I have lost remote privileges forever.

Saturday afternoon, he sent me a text with a cute little rhyme that launched me into a scavenger hunt in the house. Finally! A scavenger hunt that isn't for my keys or clean socks! Whew! The clues were good and a little tough (he is VERY clever with words!) The last clue really took me a while. I had to go back and back to the clue. He was good... he wouldn't give a hint! :-) He is KILLER at Christmas (of course... he usually doesn't buy my gift until about the 20th, but he doesn't give it away!)

When I finally got it figured out the final clue led me to a sweet card and gift for me -- some shoes (my love language) that he had seen and thought of me. But, after all of that, it could have just been the card or a box of my favorite candy!

The point is that he took the time to come up with the idea -- or even stole or borrowed the idea, I don't care. He actually pulled it off unlike his slacker wife, who only came up with the idea AND bought the supplies.

This kind of thing may not be your "thing" -- but would it thrill your spouse? What would communicate to your spouse "I thought of you and put some effort into communicating that to you"?

I am NOT a creative person when it comes to such things. My gifts fall more in the "burn chicken 12 different ways" category or the "see how long a family can go without sweeping the floor." So, I have been very thankful to find The Dating Divas site. I think that some of their ideas are contributed, and some they dream up, but they are pretty fun.

If you have a great idea for a simple way to let your spouse know you are thinking of them, let me know! I would love to hear it!