Looking Back at My Struggles

It's a gray morning here. Rain is in the forecast, and my looming migraine tells me it's on the way.

I don't know -- now that I'm almost half-way through February -- that I will ever go back and confess to you how much I did not get accomplished on my Twelve by 2012 list. I think that was the post where I saw someone write, "I am not one to not finish what I started." It has become glaringly obvious to me that I rarely finish anything that I start.

Except a Diet Coke. 

Seriously.

I get in the middle of projects and leave them half-done and guilt-ridden in the middle of my floor. I make a meal for myself and am SO! HUNGRY! that I SAY to myself that I will clean it up later and... later never comes. As you can imagine, housekeeping is not my strong suit...

However, in looking at my list, I did (somewhat) accomplish 8 of my 12. Instead of registering for a half-marathon, I am now registered for a 10K at Cowtown. I just didn't feel ready to take on that level of training -- mentally or physically.

The thing that most people commented on the most was my "Sarah is unavailable file" -- my file of what will happen when I am deceased. Yeah, that is something I have started and never finished. Don't let anything happen to me until that is finished, okay? And if it does, someone give my poor dog her meds, okay?

I still haven't done much house decorating. Meh.

So, don't you worry. I still have plenty of things to work on IN 2012!

As 2012 is chugging along, I am being made aware day by day of marriages that are struggling, people that are battling some of my same battles, and so many heartaches and heartbreaks in this world.

God is putting on my heart what a blessing my past struggles have been. Places that I have struggled and come out stronger, places that I can look back and still see the battlefield. There are times in my life that I wouldn't take a million dollars to walk back through -- but I wouldn't take a million dollars for the experience, lessons, and blessings that came from those times. From big things like unemployment and marriage struggles and parenting doubts to small things like organizational challenges (yeah, still in the middle of that) to budget struggles (okay... still there) to the diaper days (NO! Not there!)

I am sad with the people that are in the midst of those struggles, but at the same time, I hope that I can foster hope by standing on the other side of the mire and saying, "You can get through it. I promise. I know it's hard. I know you want to quit. It is so worth it. Keep trying."

It's that hope word again. Only available through Christ in me. Powerful.
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect," 1 Peter 3:15

And Christ in me also provides comfort:
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Without the hope of Christ, without the comfort of Christ, my past struggles and battles would have completely overwhelmed and consumed me. But God. 

So grateful today. If you're in the midst of a struggle, may Christ in you offer you hope and comfort that another day will come, and that it's not forever. Blessings.

Let's Get This Party Started! Two Weeks Later...

Well. Well, hello, there!

Yes, yes this is me. Why in heaven's name would I burst into the blogging scene of 2012? I don't do much bursting in the winter. Slogging is what I do. And oh, how I slog.

But there is so much I want to tell you. And I will. Pinky promise, 'kay?

Like what we did to celebrate a 16th birthday. It was WAY super fun. (We did NOT get a driver's license. Yet. Did you know that out here in the big city/ 'burbs you have to make an APPOINTMENT at your DMV to THEN go wait for hours to take your driving test?? We did not know that until the week before her birthday. Then we did not know until the week OF her birthday that you could make the appointment online. Did you also know that you have to parallel park? Yeah -- if you have any great suggestions on how to teach a 16 year old how to do that, I'm all ears...)

And how I did on my 12 by 2012. Meh. Let's just say that I'm hoping that 50% counts as passing. (I think I may have done a tiny bit better than 50%, but I'm too scared to look right now).

And if I've set any goals for 2012. I did. I even wrote them down. And now I don't remember where I wrote them. Perhaps when I find them I should add "organization" to them. Did you set any goals?

And my word for 2012. I love my word for 2012. God keeps whispering it to me. Ooooh... there's an old hymn by that name, too... I'm not going to tell you now. I hope God is whispering a word to you, too. As a matter of fact, I'm positive that He is. Keep listening.

And... newsflash...! I MADE something from Pinterest! Better still -- it was ADORABLE!!

I know, I know! This post is simply a tease. I shall really write for real later this week.

I'm still applying for jobs right and left. I'm learning that parenting teens is not for the faint (or tender) of heart, but definitely improves your prayer life. And my Christmas present to myself with some Christmas money? This bad boy... Oh, yeah, I got a light therapy box. (and dang, I'm hacked that I linked to that -- now $10 cheaper than I paid for it! Ugh!) I don't winter well (I slog, remember?) and I'm trying to alleviate the slogging through the gray days.

I hear people say all the "you can't appreciate the sunshine if you don't have a little rain" mantras, but some day I shall write and explain the literal fog that comes across my brain after 48 hours of gray. Then the weeping begins. It isn't a dislike -- I dislike the cold. I dislike intense heat. -- this is a physical reaction to a lack of sunlight. And, if you think I'm a whack job that just threw money away on a bright light... I'm totally okay with that, too.

Must run. No license yet means I'm still on carpool duty. Two weeks from today is license test day! Say a prayer for all of us!

Tell me how YOUR 2012 is starting! I've missed all of you!

Book Review: Immanuel: A Daily Guide to Reclaiming the True Meaning of Christmas

I mentioned a few days ago that I am tackling my Twelve by 2012 goals -- a few of them, anyway. One that I am doing is reading quite a few books. I can't wait to review them all for you! (Hope you like a good book, too -- I've read some really good ones!)

This book has become an annual favorite. It is more of a devotional book than a read-through, but I am still going to review it and HIGHLY recommend it anyway.

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Immanuel: A Daily Guide to Reclaiming Christmas is a six week devotional guide that focuses on praying through the names of Jesus (Lord, Immanuel, Jesus, King of Kings, Child, Bright Morning Star).

The weeks are five day studies, provide introductory scriptures, a (relevant -- not overly fluffy) thought that coincides with those scriptures or the meaning of the name of Christ, and a prayer focus for the day. Depending on how long I spend in prayer, the devotional can take me anywhere from 10-20 minutes. It is not a lengthy study, but it has been deeply meaningful to me.

I think this is my third year to do this study. I have always counted back six weeks from Christmas to do the study to finish the week of Christmas. It has made Christmas deeply meaningful and a precious reminder of the greatest Christmas gift ever, and has been a peaceful reminder through the season to keep my focus on that which matters, not the glittery pull of the world's interpretation.

For several reasons -- one of them being a book I have decided that I want to read every year during the Thanksgiving season (to review soon) -- I am considering making it the 4 weeks before Christmas (the true Advent season) and the two weeks following, starting my new year focusing on Christ.

This was a book that I bought on impulse walking into a Christian book store a few years ago -- and I have never been more pleased with an impulse purchase in my life. I recommend this book as a gift or for your own personal use every Christmas season.

"The Bible is nothing if not the persistent story of God's desire to dwell with His people."

Ann Spangler

What about you? What are you reading now? Anything I need to read?

Doing Small Things With Great Love

Hey, y'all! Checking in on an AMAZINGLY beautiful day. Wow. Here it is almost December, and I think Texas is finally getting the hang of fall. I will take it, though. Love a sunshiney, cool day.

So does Duchess. This is her favorite spot -- the "sunshine patch," we call it. She used to go lie in the sunshine patch outside, but she has decided that she is too old and... she just won't do that anymore. I mean, when you have a perfectly lovely sunshine patch in a temperature controlled house, would you? I think not.






I have been checking back over my Twelve by 2012 goals. On some of them -- woefully behind. Some of them, I was pleasantly surprised at how far ahead I am (I think that was the case on two... :-). And a few, the sad reality is that I have either bitten off more than I can chew (or will realistically and/ or financially can do at this time).  I'll be sure to post an update in the first week of the new year. I know you'll want to mark your calendar for that. :-) Are you working toward any goals to finish out 2011? Already thinking towards 2012? Would LOVE to hear about it!

Remember my wallowing in angst about Who Am I? What do I do, etc.? This post -- Little is Much When God is in It --  REALLY spoke to me today. I think if you take a minute or two to read it, it will bless you, as well. It also called to mind something else excellent that I read earlier this year. I think God wants me to remember -- maybe needs all of us to remember -- that it is not the great, huge things that He is calling us to do.

Of course, Mother Teresa seemed to get this.

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It's good that I am not called to great, huge things. Because my laundry, carpooling, grocery shopping, and orthodontist-running days don't seem to be amounting to much in the overall scheme of life. But (if I have a little bit of an attitude adjustment...) I can do them with great love. Perhaps I will never know the difference that will make to the cashier, orthodontist tech, other driver, or anything. But I am called to love. This I know. It's good to have purpose.

Tell me your goals to finish 2011. What about goals for 2012? What about small things with great love? Got anything in mind? Always love hearing from you!