Marriage Monday: Five Resolutions for Your Marriage This Year

Happy New Year, one and all, you lovely people!! I hope that the year has started off well for you and you are on your way to a prosperous and successful 2012.

My kids started back to school today -- TODAY!! -- and that is a rude awakening, I tell ya. My running partner and I, after some glorious 5 mile runs basking in the sun the last 2 weeks (she is a school administrator in a nearby district) were back running in 35* cold at 5:15 this morning. *grumble, grumble*

I also don't feel like I've had time to really ponder, plan, and meditate like I like to around the holidays. There was just a lot of noise and goin's on around my house -- which is a sign of a full and wonderful life -- but I like to evaluate the last year (perhaps it's just as well I didn't spend to much time thinking on that one) and plan for the next.

Did you make goals and/ or resolutions? I like to call mine goals. Resolutions sound so... well, resolute. Final. Goals are something to aim for (that I may or may not make). Goals have wiggle room to me.

Bob is making a wonderful resolution -- to be more grateful. Don't we all have room to be more grateful? I definitely do. (and now I will say I am thankful for my running partner so that I will drag my rear out of bed on 35* mornings and go run... gratitude).

It's a good idea to make goals or resolutions for our marriage. I say this, partly because Marriage Monday fell on the 2nd day of the new year (being honest!! :-), but being even more painfully honest, the reality is that while I'm here at The Cleft of the Rock preaching to all you good people about taking time for your spouse and your marriage, I simply have not. 2011 was a tough year for our family, and I did what so many people do: took care of everyone and everything except for my marriage.

Because I am married to a good and wonderful man, I still have a grace period to get back on track. But, like cleaning a dish right after you use it verses four days later (yes, I have experience with both) it would have been much easier to do a long time ago -- now I have much more work to do.

So, some resolutions I shall be making, and you are welcome to join me:

1) Pray for my spouse: No brainer. On the grouchy days, taking my spouse before the Lord is a way to bring all into perspective. God brought me this man, God blessed our union, and God drug our marriage out of the fire at one point. Praying for my spouse will likely have more effect on me than him, and it won't hurt him, either. Stormie O'Martian has a good book about praying for your spouse, but I have also found this set of cards (it's in the middle of the blog post here) that reminds you to pray for something different about your spouse every day -- and to pray for yourself to be a better spouse. Oh, indeed.

2) Make my marriage a priority: This is pretty all-encompassing. The main thing I'm thinking of here is bringing back date nights (I've been saying we are going to do that for, what,  4 months??) but I want to include reading about improving my marriage, going to a workshop or seminar, things that signify to myself, Troy, and the rest of the world: "This is REALLY important, OKAY??" Because it is.

3) Remember the romance: I don't just mean the physical aspect of our relationship, though that is crucial to a healthy marriage. I mean the small, ooey, gooey things it takes to "date" my husband --  some of that will include little touches and stolen kisses. But it will also be phone calls "just because" and cards and notes hidden away for him. Things we did "back in the day."

4) Let it Go: I've known Troy for over 20 years and we've been married for over 19 now. Sadly, I remember a LOT of times that he has hurt my feelings (I have a good memory -- sue me. I also remember some really cool stuff...). I also now have a list in my head of "he ALWAYS does..." of things that are completely inconsequential -- where he puts things in the pantry, how/ where he parks my car when he uses it (I KNOW how this makes me sound -- I'm being confessional!) If, heaven forbid, God does not grant us all of 2012 together, I do NOT want either of our last memories to be of me griping about where he put the peanut butter back in the pantry.

5) Play together: This one is REALLY hard for us. Again... I'm not talking about our physical relationship. Troy and I don't relax in the same way. Date night is often simply food and a movie. Which is fine, but it could be so much better. We do both enjoy the outdoors, just in different ways. We need to find ways that the two of us can relax together, play together. And I'm open to suggestions -- if you know of anything cool (especially free or cheap) to do in the Dallas area, I would love to hear about it.

I could add several here, but this is all I think I can focus on for now. Trey had some great resolutions for the new year, as well.

What about you? Do you plan to make resolutions for your marriage this year?


Trey Morgan said...

Sarah ... excellent post. Any marriage that is willing to do the 5 things you've mentioned will be blessed. Thanks for sharing.

Stephanie said...

Play ideas: This is where I want to improve too - and I don't think this means I adopt all of my husband's ideas of fun and him none of mine (I'll go fishing with him, why can't he go to the art museum with me?) When we were first married, we went on lots of hiking excursions - we live in a great area for that. And I'm hoping to do more of that this year. (I have to remind him that being in the woods does not always mean you are there to hunt a four legged animal...) Do you guys have bikes? Would Troy want to go for a Sunday ride with you? For me, it doesn't even matter what we do, it's just the time 1:1 that I treasure. And maybe that means doing stuff neither of us super love doing, so that the event itself does not distract from our attention on each other. Now that I think about it, that time we stripped the linoleum off the kitchen floor to make room for the tile, we actually had a blast, doing that together.

Sarah S. said...

We came up with hiking, too! We kind of did lots of "this isn't really fun, but we're in it together" kind of things last year with the move. :-) We're kind of ready to play! Pretty much anything outside would be good for us -- but, yes, we would have to agree no firearms would be involved!

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