Book Review: Fearless

I confess that my reading has gone a little bit the way of my blogging (truly, what HAVE I been doing??? Not mopping, that's for sure!) But I have read a few really good reads that I need to tell you about here.

One such book is Fearless by Max Lucado. Written in typical Lucado-style (easy, conversational), Fearless approaches the most frequently given command in scripture: "Do not fear." Lucado combines scripture, personal confession, and antecdotes from history to tell how we can approach life fearlessly -- how God would have it.

Some favorite quotes:

"Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts. It will always knock on the door. Just don't invite it in for dinner."

"Fear corrodes our confidence in God's goodness."

"The worship of safety emasculates greatness."

"The abundance of possessions has a way of eclipsing God, no matter how meager those possessions may be."

I do confess that about half-way through the book, I lost interest for a time. I wanted to turn to Max and say... "Okay, I get it. Live fearlessly. Don't fear. Got it. Check. Move on." Because, of course, if you write an entire book about living fearlessly, some of it may get to be a little redundant. However, I plugged ahead out of... duty or something. And was rewarded by my favorite part of the book that is in the last chapter or two of the book. A very good insight about how this life simply doesn't compare to the next. And one I need to hear... every hour of every day. Yes, of course, Max reminded us of 2 Corinthians 4:17: For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Amen and amen.

And... as to the "redundant" part -- well, if God thinks it was necessary to remind us again and again and AGAIN "Do not fear" -- we probably need the reminder more than once.

Do not fear.

All in all, I would recommend Fearless. It would probably do well for a group study, but I would imagine that would get bogged down and/or redundant, as well.

Mom's Day Off

originally in Abilene Families

An intruding hand poked into the warm sanctuary of my bed.

“Are you getting up, or are you sick?”

Ugh. Didn’t I tell them it was my day off? Since those are about as common as leap years around here, I’m sure more explanation was necessary.

I crawled out enough to glance at the clock. 6:50. I’ve usually been up for well over an hour by now, and I was planning on getting up at 7 anyway.

“No, I’m fine. I was just sleeping in a little today. I’m getting up now.”

The holidays are hectic for everyone but my family usually has a blissful ‘time out’ period when all outside activities cease and we spend our time with only family for a few days, resting and regrouping.

This year was a little different. I took on more writing assignments than usual and had several deadlines looming right after the holidays. I was thankful for the work and the confidence my clients entrusted to me, but by the end of January I really began to lose steam. I realized I was due a mom’s time out.

I would love to tell you that the realization that a day off was necessary came as a gentle decision made with forethought for my mental health. However, the need was made obvious when my husband asked for help with a simple task and I dissolved into a pile of tears on the floor. It was past time for me to have a day off.

I began clearing my calendar and finding a spot for a day of respite. Of course it was eight days after my nuclear reactor level meltdown, but I was still in need. I told writing clients that I would be unavailable that day. I rescheduled a child’s orthodontist appointment. I became giddy at the thought.

I crawled out from under the covers, still anticipating the day in front of me. I have been known to take a day off to get things checked off my list. I have taken a day to spend time organizing my life and setting our family in order. My only order of business for this particular day was to simply rest and relax. If I wanted to, I would; If I felt like I had to, I wouldn’t.

I went about my morning with my family as usual, getting everyone off to school and work. Then... I stood. Frozen in the middle of my living room as if my feet had taken root. I found that I had absolutely no idea what I should do to relax.

Ummm... I think I used to read books? Okay, let’s try that. Yes, I shall read. But first, I should... No. No “I should’s” allowed. That went on for an embarrassing amount of time while I debated starting a load of laundry or making an appointment for a family member.

I finally decided not to even start down the road of “just this one thing” that I could do that was productive.

Today, rest would be productive.

I grabbed a book, snuggled back into bed, and read. And napped. I watched a few moments of TV, then decided that wasn’t relaxing, so I found a different book. And napped again. Yes, I turned into your average sloth. And it was quite enjoyable.

My day off was a success but far too short. Life cranked back up to full speed immediately, but I learned that life could survive without me for a day. I also found that it’s possible to stop and take some time for myself along the way before I crash into the carpet. If that doesn’t work, I’m calling in sick.

Mom? I'm Bored

originally in Abilene Families

I was in the shower. Alone, as tends to be my practice. So a child wandered into the bathroom, of course. Does anyone remember back before they had kids when a bathroom was a sanctuary instead of a thoroughfare? Me neither.

“Mom? I’m bored...”

This was the first day of spring, the last day of spring break. Yeah, the day it snowed? That one. When we had all had all the fun with each other we could stand and couldn’t go outside. I could understand the boredom, but did I mention I was in the shower?

Hmmmm.... I would have to think on this one. Since I didn’t bring my “Bag-o-Entertainment” into the shower with me, I called out ideas:

“You could fold the clothes in the dryer!”

“What about picking up all those things off the floor of your room?”

“I’ve got it! You could write a 500-word essay on how my mom made my spring break the awesomest ever!” (My kids are accustomed to their writer mom using invented words such as “ridonkulous” or “awesomest”. Do not attempt until your children know the difference).

I couldn’t see the accompanying eye roll, but the child did wander away. Hoping for less sarcasm, I presume, though I was perfectly serious with all of those options as something to do.

When the kids were younger I had an “I’m Bored” jar. It had slips of paper in it with different activities on each slip of paper. Some of the activities may be a fun idea: “Build a fort with the covers from your bed,” “Draw a picture for Nonna and Grandad,” or “Play hopscotch with Mom.”

However, some of the activities weren’t so fun: “Clean windows for 10 minutes,” “Give the dog a bath,” or “Clean out a dresser drawer”. So, it was a gamble to draw from the jar -- would it be something fun or not? A job or a joy? (A funny side note: in asking my kids about their memory of this jar, they did not believe that I had any fun things in the jar, only jobs).

I found out which of my children will lose their shirts in Vegas as an adult, and which of the two isn’t willing to risk anything. Oh, don’t act as if you don’t want to encourage gambling in your children. I’ve seen you at Gatti’s.

One of my children never tried. One of them tried a few times, though I kept the jar on a shelf for a year or two. If nothing else, it kept the complaints to a minimum. Rather than complain to me and be threatened with drawing from the jar that I now realize they thought only contained jobs, they went off and found something to do that entertained themselves. I guess in that regard it promoted creativity, as well.

Perhaps it’s time for a teen version of the “I’m Bored” jar. However, most of the jobs my kids are capable of doing, they already do. Some fall into the “you live here, eat my food, wear my clothes, and use my gasoline so I expect you to do that” category, and a few are the “I’ll pay you ‘x’ for doing this” category. For those that I’ll pay them to do, I can’t afford to have them draw out of the job jar every time they get bored.

But who really has time to be bored anyway? What with all the texting, Facebooking, and I-have-to-be-there-5-minutes-ago going on. And soon (oh, all too soon) it will be friends picking up in the car going here and there, hither and yon. I’m not sure I’m ready for that, either.

Perhaps I will make myself a prayer jar, full to overflowing, with the prayers of a momma who realizes that these babies were never really hers to keep anyway. And, eventually, perhaps I shall shower in peace, as well.

Marriage Monday: Just Joking!

I really don't enjoy practical jokes. That may baffle you, because I see humor in pretty much every situation, but I really don't like practical jokes, whether they are being played on me or other people. As you might imagine, April 1st really isn't fun for me, either.

I caught a few minutes of America's Funniest Home Videos last night and a few of the videos were of people giving their friends, family, or spouses fake lottery tickets, causing them to believe they had won $10,000. How mean!

It made me think two things:

1) Troy would think that was SO funny to do to someone.

2) He would never do that to me.

Troy used to play jokes on me, but he saw that I don't like them, so he stopped. I have a seen a few mean spirited husbands (and even dads, which makes me really sad) that know that their spouses or children hate jokes like that, but take great joy in continuing to play jokes on their spouse. It just made me appreciate that, though I never once asked Troy to never again do that to me, he saw that I didn't like it, and stopped.

It's not like I asked him to give up his shotgun collection (gasp!!) or to never play a joke on anyone again (he still has his moments).

I wonder if I have been as sensitive to him about not doing something that bugs him (leaving shoes in the MIDDLE of the floor... ugh... not so much). I may have some work to do.

I'm so very thankful for the man I married and the way he takes care of me -- even the little things that matter to me.

Sabbath

Back when I took some Sabbath time for myself from blogging, I began to actually research 'Sabbath'. I came across a book on Sabbath in the bargain bin that I have really enjoyed, and I began to really notice times of rest in scripture and what people (especially Jesus) did for times of rest.

Something that the book pointed out is that, obviously, prior to electricity, the seasons and the rising and setting of the sun dictated natural times of rest. She quoted the National Sleep Foundation as saying that prior to the invention of the lightbulb, people slept an average of ten hours a night. By 2002, Americans were averaging a little less than seven hours of sleep on weeknights and 7.5 hours on weekends.

You may think you can get by with 6 hours or less during the week. First, you can't. You have adapted to walking around in a sleep deprived state. Some people do need less sleep than others, but people do need at least 7.5 hours per night. Your health, work, focus, and attitude (and family) will all thank you.

I am one of those fortunate(?) people who has always known that sleep is important to me. I can feel myself crashing when I don't get enough. I feel like I walk through molasses all day. I feel crummy. And, if that weren't enough, it's a migraine trigger. Sleep is no longer just a guilty pleasure for me -- it's a big deal to my health.

Studies show that you actually are walking through molasses -- your metabolism slows down, too. Sleep deprivation causes weight gain and better yet, plenty of sleep can lead to weight loss.

And? I can just be nicer when I have enough sleep. Can anyone relate?

Obviously, Sabbath isn't only about sleep -- but it's a great place to start. Last week I began to implement two hard and fast rules in my life. They sound pretty selfish, or maybe 'lowest common denominator' -- but that's kind of the point. Because I have found that if I will do these two things, many of the rest of life will fall into place.

Sarah's Current Rules for Sanity:

-- Get plenty of sleep EVERY night (not just on weekends)

-- Spend time with Jesus EVERY day

The end. I have a number for me that is "plenty" and it's kind of embarrassingly high. But I have found that I am getting just as much done as before -- I'm just doing it a little nicer, and with a better attitude.

So, for the stressed out and strung out, I pray that you implement some Sabbath in your life.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Back Today

Ahem.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Sarah.

I REALLY like to write! I do, I promise!

I have missed it so!

I have figured out a way to make this thing work and get some blogging done on the side, too.

I really miss doing this, too. We used to be peeps, remember? We used to exchange ideas, we were all about fitness and fun. Never fashion, that I recall, though. Do you? Occasionally recipes, maybe.

And the fits that the word 'occasionally' has given me tells me that there was probably a time that I could spell, too -- but just not in the recent past.

Here's a tip for you: did you know that doing two part-time jobs is really more difficult than doing one full-time job? It's true. It can lead to much crazy-making and maybe even some tears in your home. I'm not sure I recommend it. Yet I cling fiercely to my writing, and am seeing what becomes of my "real" part-time job, that, as far as I can tell, is meetings. I can do meetings with the best of them.

One way to make some blogging time work is that the orthodontist now has wifi. How awesome is he? All that money going for good use! It's about time.

So... I'm not going to overdo it today, but I promise that I will be back. And soon! You doubt, don't you? I know, I don't blame you. But I shall return. Until then, I leave you with the verses I have been starting my day with lately:

Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints,

for those who fear him lack nothing. Psalm 34:8,9

God's Economy

I have heard the phrase "God's Economy" many times lately, and have always liked it in the context it has been used. The first was someone telling me that God had revealed to her "Time is never wasted in God's economy." When we feel like we are in a waiting place or a useless place, God is at work. Hmmm...

But economy-economy? Dollars and cents? Yeah, it isn't going super-great in this corner of the universe if you haven't noticed. I, as mentioned, have recently gone to work to try to help make ends meet around here. So the ends keep moving. Or fraying. And we seem to -- financially -- be further behind than we were when I started work. In the 6 weeks I have been working we have had one unexpected flight out of state to a funeral, one major car repair, and are now facing another almost-major car repair. I'm not sure we can afford for me to work another 6 weeks.

God, as is His way, put things in perspective recently. First, a dear friend that Troy grew up -- that he considers his sister, really -- was just last week cleared for the heart transplant list. She JUST turned 42. Over the weekend our family traveled to central Texas to a fundraiser for her. So, the thought that we were all healthy and whole and in one piece is a helpful reminder that all is well -- though I had one of the overall crummiest weeks I've had in a LONG time last week.

Then, once we got to the fundraiser, I had opportunity to visit with some dear friends. We were discussing my writing, my ministry, etc. I told them this, basically:

"I consider getting better paying jobs or something that brings in a little more money, but I am committed to staying true to what God has called me to do with writing and speaking. God continues to show me the riches and blessings to be found in doing what He has called you to do."

I don't tell you that to pat myself on the back for a noble view -- I put that here for my own benefit. I put that here because I will need to be reminded frequently. I do believe that with all that is in me, but when actual dollars are needed to put gas in the car and clothes on my kids (why, why, WHY do they keep growing AND eating???) and utilities in my home I confess that I forget. I forget that He has us in His palm, needing no dollars for His will and His plan to be complete and perfect in us.

So, please remind me frequently of God's economy, and what a precious and wonderful blessing of riches it is.

Good Things Out There

Ashleigh is a sometimes (or used to be, probably) reader of this blog. Her marine recently deployed. She walks us through what deployment means for the family. Go read this. Then go thank a soldier. And his family.

A very good lesson on mental clutter.

Another show of above-the-top sportsmanship by young people. Very proud of these young ladies.

The youth minister at a church where I used to worship posted some excellent advice for parents with teens in the home. A must read.

VERY cute switchplate cover idea -- super easy and a hit in any kids' room!

Our Life In Pictures

I really had hoped to blog a little more this week... it just isn't getting done, you know? I guess you do know, if you are still here.

One thing, besides the subjects of these ample photos, that is taking my time these days is figuring out my new camera. My friend, David, who let me rip off his pics of Dana and her family, gave me some camera-shopping-for-the-chronically-cheap-frugal tips. So, I shall let you see some of my latest handiwork, or, as I like to call it, why the Stirmans never eat dinner

before 8 p.m.:

Here is Saturday's soccer game. Riley throwing the ball in:

And THIS spectacular kick (Riley is the one whose foot has just engaged the ball) turned into an amazing assist and scored a point. Yay!

So Ashley got bored and took pics of Troy, tuning out the other parents:

And me, watching the game....

So on Monday once the clouds blew away, we had tennis for Ashley, my Mann Falcon:

This kind of cracks me up. I think Ashley has 'Charlie Brown feet' here: (can you hear the music?)

So, the next day we had a band concert. Some of you may have figured this out a LONG time ago, but I have not. My children are in a LOT of things. Most of the programs are simply photocopied pieces of paper, but I want to remember that Ashley was section leader in band, and made All-Honor band, etc. So... I took a pic of it. (I took a pic of the inside, too where all the names, etc., are listed). I can keep these with the scrapbook pages of the same pictures. I am SERIOUSLY trying to declutter around here, and who needs a million more pieces of photocopied paper when a picture of the paper will suffice?

So.. I'm still trying to figure out the camera. I put everything on 'auto' and snapped a few pics when the band first came out to warm up. Here is Ashley pointing to me, asking the girl behind her, "Whose mom is THAT taking all those pictures???" I was VERY disappointed with the automatic pictures.

So... I started thinking... David encouraged me to get this camera because it does well in low light. So I took it OFF of automatic, messed with the aperture, ISO, and shutter speed. I have no idea what they mean, but know where they should be for a decent pic. And took a few decent shots (no flash!) :

I forgot to include the obligatory pic of the whole stage that included the back of the bald guy's head...

And Ashley had to take a few shots of me trying to figure out the software that came with it. Seeing my posture makes me realize why I need to get to yoga more...

So that is approximately 72 hours in the Stirman family life. Some 3 days periods are slower, some are faster. Right now, I'm missing out on watching the movie 'Dave' with my man. Do you love that movie? I do.

Have a great weekend and take lots of pictures!

In Spirit and In Truth

Obviously, wandering back into blogging very SLOWLY....

Please, check out my 'Good Things' and Sherri's comment yesterday on the Evil Empire. Seriously, are we going to sell our souls to save $.15 (that we obviously aren't really saving) on a box of Tampax? I am here to tell you, unless you have run the rest of the stores in your town out of business, you can survive without shopping there. I promise.

So.

Here is what is on my mind today, and I only have a very few minutes to visit with you about it. I'm just trying to process myself.

As in many things, I see a pendulum swinging in one direction in reaction to it going too far the other way originally -- specifically: for years, people in churches were strictly scripture followers, to the point that scripture could become a convenient bludgeon for basically any point of discussion. Eat too much? Gluttony... boom. Spend too much? Greedy... boom. I don't like your hair? Vanity... boom.

So now I see some of us shifting away from using scripture as a bludgeon, leaning heavily on Spirit. Spirit-leading of what we should do career-wise, lunch-wise, relationship-wise... etc. Don't get me wrong -- I believe in Spirit -- because I believe the scriptures. But to trust Spirit-leading without a scripture check could be treading into dangerous waters. Mainly because our world is so full of evil and other noise, one MUST stay wholly in the Word to clearly hear what or where Spirit is leading. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things..." -- and that's what most of us use to listen to the Spirit. Best to have a way to check what we're hearing.

I think to have either without the other is like... peanut butter without the jelly. Just wrong. :-)

What say you?

Good Things Out There

My friend Julie is SO clever! This is the BEST idea ever out there, costs very little (virtually free for her since she already had one of the bookshelves sitting around) and tames the never-ending quandry of what to do with all of the sports equipment an active family collects.

I can't speak to the other side of not-so-successful marriage. I know that is in some people's past, and God can work mightily in that, as well. This is an amazing and courageous article about why our society shouldn't be quite so quick to say, "It's not that big of a deal." Check this out...

This makes me feel even better about my long-standing resolve to not shop at Wal-Mart. Check it out, especially if you think you are "saving money" by shopping at Wal-Mart.

Immeasurably More

Well, I am back with not much fanfare. Okay, with no fanfare at all.

I did truly enjoy my bloggy break and it accomplished so much more than I ever thought it could. Did you know that it is much easier to listen when you aren't yak, yak, yakkity, yakking, talking all the time, or even worried about what you must say next?

I listened a lot. I listened to my family. I listened to my husband and children. I listened to my church family. I listened to my new co-workers -- have I even told you that I started a part-time job? If not, that will have to wait. Most of all, I listened to my Father. And I loved every precious word He had for me.

There were MANY times I did want to fill you in on my life, though. There were amazing God-stories, and sad times that needed praying over. Some of them I may eventually recount, some of them may be gone forever in my feeble brain.

Last weekend Coffee Group traveled for the first time in a while. We had one of the best trips I remember us having. We agree that we think we have finally found the balance of how much preparation we need to do, prayer we need to do, and trusting we need to do to allow God to work in an event.

One of the points I brought out in my talk was from Ephesians 3:20: "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." As I prepared my talk and thought about the last few weeks, I began to realize: God isn't only ABLE to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, He LONGS to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine in our lives. It takes letting go, it takes giving up control and being in some scary and sometimes painful paths. But He will bring us to a point of immeasurably more.

I'm ready. I'm ready for immeasurably more. May I remember to let go of all that I think I am clinging to for safety and security and control, and be blessed -- immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine.

So -- how was YOUR February?? :-)

Sabbath Rest for The Cleft of the Rock

I am tired. I don't mean I need a nap. I mean I am weary to my bones. I have so much I want to tell you about what God is doing and working in my life and I simply cannot stop long enough to tell you. That in itself is a problem.

I realize that much of my problem comes from working through the holidays. I don't mean the work that every woman does through the holidays of cooking, cleaning, decorating, shopping, wrapping, and entertaining, though I did some of that, as well. I also had deadlines and assignments that I worked on all through the holidays. I had one day that I let myself take completely "off" -- New Year's Day I piled in bed with books and Bibles and journals and the remote and stayed in my PJ's all day and loved it and grieved that it wasn't more.

I know for a fact that I am not the only woman on the planet that worked through the holidays, and I am very blessed that my work is as portable as my laptop. I've got a pretty good gig going here. However, the well of words and thoughts inside my head is dry for now. I have committed the critical error of forgetting that rest is as important to my work as the work.

I am shifting gears in life right now for a while and will have LOTS to tell you when I return. But until March 1, this blog will be on a little Sabbath rest. I'm sure I'll be wasting a little time on Facebook, and I might visit your blog, but these words need time to rejuvenate and refresh. Oh, and I haven't forgotten that I want to still talk about marriages. I haven't forgotten and Troy and I have been blessed to be invited into some hurting marriages and would be honored to pray with you wherever you are in yours.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

So, that's where I will be: with Jesus, finding rest for my soul. I will catch you back here in March and tell you all about it.

Good Things Out There

I've already posted this on Facebook, but I love this little guy so much.


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Marriage Monday: Invest in Your Marriage

Well, I'm back with apologies for my extended absence last week. I had some deadlines to meet before I left town with the youth of our church for Winterfest in Arlington. Very fun, very biblical, very challenging and encouraging. Knocked me for a loop for a little bit once I got back -- glad to have Monday to recover -- but so thankful that we went.

Today on Marriage Monday I will be speaking to all marriages -- in and out of crisis. Because investing in your marriage is something we all need to do. It can be a preventive or reparative measure, depending on where your marriage is, but we all need to invest in our marriage.

"Invest" can mean a whole list of things: time, money, emotion, energy, whatever. We seem to be short on all of those around here, so it would mean a lot to invest that toward a marriage.

Of course, "investing" can be as simple as a date night, or as extensive/ expensive as a week's vacation away, or an extended time in therapy (I'm not joking -- you may need either, and you can decide which you need the most). Therapy can be costly, but, again, it's an investment that is well worth your marriage.

Think about your television and all that goes to it: Netflix, cable, etc. You should spend at least as much time and money on your marriage as you do in front of the television and on the television, I think. You may even think so, too, and wish your spouse would do that. Well, if you have some leeway in your family's budget or money that is yours "for fun", make that your "date money" -- don't resent your spouse for not thinking of it, bless your spouse and think of it for them.

Dates or mini-vacations don't have to be expensive (TRUST me-- I am the queen of going cheap on this) the important thing is that you take the time to go be with your spouse. Swap babysitting with another couple and just go for ice cream if you have to, but have date time for you.

Beyond dates and time for you, I strongly encourage you to also spend time learning. I confess that I spent YEARS thinking that I had heard PLENTY on the subject of marriage (and, no doubt, I was blessed in my early years to hear a LOT on the subject) but God continues to humble me and reveal to me that there is always more to learn or a new way to think about an old adage.

There is no shortage of resources for learning about marriage: workshops, retreats, books, etc. I have several that I, personally, recommend (DISCLAIMER: some of these I recommend based on personal knowledge, and some of these I recommend based on the advice of others).

This week, in my very town, I will be attending Love and War with John and Stasi Eldredge, for instance. Tickets are AMAZINGLY reasonable and I hope that everyone in this area will be attending. If you aren't in this area, check here to see if the Eldredges will be coming to your area.

Lifeway also has a marriage retreat weekend in several cities throughout the country. I have not personally attended one, but they, too, seem VERY reasonably priced for the caliber of experts that are speaking -- with lunch included!

If none of this appeals to you, consider a simple book study. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas would be first on my list. Gather friends or a small group around you and go through the book together. Or, if you have the opportunity to go to an event where Gary Thomas is speaking, by all means go.

You may be just FIRED UP to go, yet thinking, "Oh, s/he would NEVER go for it... s/he would think it is stupid/ too expensive/ waste of time/ name a reason."

Don't assume your spouse's feelings before you have communicated your own feelings to your spouse.

If you have had conversations in the past that lead you to believe that this conversation may not go well, start by taking your desires before the Lord (Psalm 37:4). After you have prayed about it, tell your spouse: "This event is really important to me to understand you better. Do you have any interest in going?" If yes, then super and start making arrangements. If no, then drop it -- and you have to decide if going alone will build up more resentment for you or you will be able to lay that aside and benefit from the lessons there.

Don't waste time being hurt or resentful that your spouse won't take the lead in any of this. There may be any of a million reasons for that, and if you are a Christian, you are coming at marriage as serving your spouse. How can you serve your spouse? Serve your spouse by taking him/her on a date. Serve your spouse by learning all that you can about how to serve him/ her better. Serve your spouse by knowing and loving God the Father above all so that His love can spill over onto your spouse, also.

Spend your time, money, and energy on your marriage. Invest in your marriage. The dividends are so rewarding.

Good Things Out There

Things like this make me wish I was handy. How clever is this picture frame/ folding table?

Wow. This hammered me about pride. Just three questions. Where can I post them?

Train up a child...


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Finally Giving Daisy Chain Away!

Well, yesterday got completely away from me. I had a job interview -- my 2nd with that organization. It went okay, I guess. Aren't job interviews weird? I met with more people and that was good. I got, "Thank you. We'll be in touch." Whatever that means.

If I get the job (part-time) I'll tell you all about what it will be. If I don't, there isn't much point in bringing it up. Keeping a little quiet about the organization, hoping not to lose a job before I get it, you know?

So I am finally giving away my book. The suspense has been painful, I'm sure! :-)

Here is my name-drawer, showing you how grueling the task was (please ignore the Santas on top of the box of Christmas ornaments. We most certainly do NOT have Santas and Christmas ornaments out on January 13th):

Here is my bucket of names, that looks suspiciously like this bucket of names (it's a new picture, I promise, it just looks identical).

And finally, here is my name-drawer, also modeling the chosen name: (don't worry, Donna, I won't send you the germ-filled name with the book).

Congratulations to Donna!

If you didn't win THIS TIME-- never fear! I have more book give-aways coming. Oh, P.S. if you live in my town, you are welcome to borrow my copy of "Daisy Chain"!

In my Bible reading I am to Leviticus, which is NOT for the weak-stomached. Blech. I read through it praying, "Lord, I KNOW you kept this in here for a reason, and may I learn from it, but EW!"

However, I did get tickled at this passage. If I were an Israelite, this would happen to my house:

The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “When you enter the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as your possession, and I put a spreading mildew in a house in that land, the owner of the house must go and tell the priest, ‘I have seen something that looks like mildew in my house.’ The priest is to order the house to be emptied before he goes in to examine the mildew, so that nothing in the house will be pronounced unclean. After this the priest is to go in and inspect the house. He is to examine the mildew on the walls, and if it has greenish or reddish depressions that appear to be deeper than the surface of the wall, the priest shall go out the doorway of the house and close it up for seven days. On the seventh day the priest shall return to inspect the house. If the mildew has spread on the walls, he is to order that the contaminated stones be torn out and thrown into an unclean place outside the town. He must have all the inside walls of the house scraped and the material that is scraped off dumped into an unclean place outside the town.

Then they are to take other stones to replace these and take new clay and plaster the house.
“If the mildew reappears in the house after the stones have been torn out and the house scraped and plastered, the priest is to go and examine it and, if the mildew has spread in the house, it is a destructive mildew; the house is unclean.

It must be torn down—its stones, timbers and all the plaster—and taken out of the town to an unclean place.
“Anyone who goes into the house while it is closed up will be unclean till evening.

Anyone who sleeps or eats in the house must wash his clothes. Leviticus 14:33-47

I offer this to support my case.

More book reviews, possible give-away at the end of this week! Happy Wednesday!

Marriage Monday: In Times of Crisis

First, let me tell you that I forgot to have the drawing for the book last night. I will take care of that this evening or this afternoon and post the winner tomorrow. My apologies for drawing this out. Good luck to all those who entered.

Now that I said I would address real marriage issues here each week, my question is, "where to begin"? Do I speak to marriages already in crisis and what they can do, or do I speak to all marriages about how to prevent getting in crisis?

This week I opted for going with speaking to marriages in crisis since they are, in fact, in crisis and may need the most immediate attention.

So. Where to begin? I honestly don't know, and I will throw one item out and let you think on that and ponder that before I go on next week.

One of the things that I did right in trying to put my marriage back together was to open up and seek counsel from godly friends who were committed to their own marriages (so I suspected they would be eager to see me put my marriage back together, as well).

I had more than one divorced woman offer to counsel with me and pray with me and I refused, to be honest. I was kind -- I thanked them for their offer and let them know if I needed them, I would let them know, but I knew that I didn't plan to talk to someone who wasn't where I wanted to end up. I have since talked to several of those women and know that they wouldn't have advised me to leave Troy, but I didn't know that at the time (our marriage crisis came when we were VERY new in town and I didn't know anyone or their story very well).

You will be able to find anyone to advise you to do ANYTHING in this day and age: change the locks before he gets home, throw his belongings on the lawn, you name it. Be selective about who you seek counsel from, but do seek counsel.

Please remember that scripture refers to Satan as a 'prowling lion' and lions seek to separate the prey from the herd. Once you have been isolated and separated, Satan has a much easier time convincing you of his lies.

Obviously, to seek counsel from other people, you have to confess to someone that your marriage is in trouble. That was HARD and very humbling for me, but I knew that it was necessary for my marriage to survive. Our marriage therapist (something else we did right that I will discuss later) advised me, "Pray that God reveal to you a friend that you can discuss this with." From that prayer, Coffee Group was born, but that's really a story for another day. Point is, I got way more than just one friend, and I got my marriage prayed over, prayed through, and finally restored.

If more of us would open up and lean on one or two friends and say, "We are really having a tough time right now -- would you be praying for us?" then, in time, the person you confide in would be able to say, "You know, Sarah and Troy went through that. Maybe they would be able to talk to you or pray with you." But no one will know your struggles -- or your victory!! -- if you don't open up to others.

If you are not in marriage crisis right now, there are two things you can do: 1)be praying for marriages that are. As I have started writing this series, more and more marriages have been revealed to me that need our prayers. Just pray. 2)Be a trustworthy friend. When someone needs to talk to you about their struggling marriage, do not immediately wonder who you can tell, but wonder how quickly you can get to your knees. Struggling marriages do not need the rumor mill to add fuel to the fire, they need listening ears and godly wisdom to be reminded of the covenant they have with each other.

May God bless your marriage!

Good Things Out There

A VERY good thing is that my friend, Mindy, is pregnant! YAY! and congratulations! and prayers for healthy baby and safe delivery, et. al. However, I was unaware that she and her husband had been trying for some time to get pregnant, and she pointed her readers to this awesome post about how silent the Bible seems to be about infertility. My own "struggle" with infertility was that Troy and I seemed to be able to get pregnant by washing our undies together while those around us cried out to God to give them a baby. I have learned much of what not to say from them. I love what Josh says: quit asking married couples: "So, when are y'all going to have kids" (and why do people start asking that at the wedding reception anyway...?) You have no idea what wounds it may re-open.

Soapbox put away.

If you know my brother -- shoot, even if you don't -- go check out his new website for his business. Not only does the website look great, but he is amazingly talented. Because not only will the music he and his wife play at your wedding sound really good, but he designed that website, as well. Yeah, he and I don't know which one of us was adopted from the gypsies, but we cannot be from the same parents.

WARNING: This is NOT good news, but it's good information to have, especially for those of you who rely on nutritional information from restaurants for your New Year's weight loss plan. Seems you may need to figure in much more "wiggle room" if you want some wiggle room in your jeans.

Again... not necessarily good news, unless you are planning on giving up sodas this year. This should definitely help. If you still want to drink sodas, do not read this.

This is yet another piece of video genius from my church. It's about a year and a half old, but it makes me laugh so much. Enjoy.

Don't forget!! You have until 6 p.m. CST Sunday to leave a comment here to enter to win a free book. And you want this book!

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What Say You?

In my opinion, (and, since this is my blog, my opinion is right, of course) Potato Soup is simply potato soup -- there is no cheese in potato soup! (to the phrase-ology of "there's no crying in baseball!") There may be grated cheese ATOP potato soup, as you might garnish a baked potato, but say it with me, "There is no cheese in potato soup!" I have learned to ask at restaurants: "What is your potato soup like: does it have cheese in it?" I generally get, "Oh, yes! Very cheesy!" Well, I don't want it!

Huge diversion: Colt McCoy. Awesome dude, no question. There was some discussion that he came out of Thursday's game somewhat hurt to save his shoulder for a potential NFL draft. I am all about Colt McCoy, the guy and think he lives up to all the college football AND nice guy hype he has been dealt. However, NFL draft material? I don't follow closely enough to really know, of course, but is he even big enough/ tall enough? Just don't know. This is yet another great blog about Colt and his family being the real deal. Colt's grandpa worked at a camp that I came to out at ACU when I was about 5th grade and Colt's uncle helped with it. All very nice and godly people.

Potato soup: cheesy or not?

Colt McCoy: NFL material or not?

Discuss.