Considering Valentine's Day

originally in Abilene Families

My family experienced some minor medical drama the week between Christmas and New Year's while traveling out of state. On one of my many trips to the drug store, I had to stop dead in my tracks. I was perusing the Christmas decorations and wrapping paper on clearance. I turned around to look for more, and was faced with a shelf full of boxes of Valentine's cards that children will use to declare love for classmates. Before the confetti of the New Year's holiday is swept up, the shelves in stores are fully stocked with hearts, balloons, and all manner of Valentine props and paraphernalia.

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 Maybe it's age, maybe it's motherhood, maybe it's global warming, but I don't think of Valentine's Day the same way that I did as a young, single woman or newlywed. Valentine's Day is a fun, light-hearted opportunity to lavish love on those around you, but life has shown me that love rarely looks like the front of a Hallmark card.

Love is not running along a beach hand in hand. Love holds the flashlight in the middle of the night, make-up long gone and tempers flaring, holding your tongue while your sweetie attempts an emergency home repair. Love isn't demonstrated by dewy eyes across a candlelit meal, but rather by one more run to the doctor or pharmacy when you are exhausted beyond reasonable or rational thought.

Valentine's Day lends itself to romance. Romance is wonderful and exciting, but won't take you very far when the stomach bug hits, or your "Love Shack" floods, or one of your parents is critically ill and/or dies. Romance will not be found in any of those situations, but love is there larger than life. Love brings the cool wash cloth again and again for the stomach bug, and mops and covertly repairs damaged keepsakes during the flood, and cries and holds and works and loves with an ill family member.

Love is not rose petals and champagne, but aching backs and work gloves. Love at my house never dances in an evening gown or tuxedo, but love supplies the elbow grease, the patience, the encouragement, and the clean clothes to face each day and, Lord willin' a comforting place to come home to when the day seems to come out on top. Love is holding tight when no words will fix it, and tears the only language uttered.

Love is not a polished, glimmery state. Love is messy, inconvenient, and frustrating. Love is giving up the last ounce of energy, sleep, time, or chocolate for the well-being of another. Love isn't found in romantic restaurants or destinations, but in hospital waiting rooms, the lobby of funeral homes, and kneeling in prayer next to race-car or princess beds in the middle of the night. Love is less about flowers and cartoon hearts, and everything about the value of another soul on this planet. I guess that's a little harder to put on the side of a coffee mug.

I will play along this Valentine's Day, like all the others, and I certainly hope for you to feel cherished on that day. But, later in the year when the toilet overflows while the drama at school comes to a boiling point and work causes too many demands to keep everyone civil, love will be there with a plunger, Kleenex for the tears, and hugs, pats, and kisses for all the things the plunger and Kleenex won't fix. Consider that your own Valentine's Day -- but don't look for Hallmark to make a card for it anytime soon.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

(Sarah's note: This was originally published three years ago and has been borrowed for sermons and published in various places around the Internet. It still is one of my personal favorites, too. Thankful for a day to stop and remember the love we have for each other, but more grateful for the God we worship that allows us to start over when we get it wrong.)

Surviving the 4th (or any holiday) Without Blowing Your Diet Progress

I am involved in a fitness/ weight loss class at my church. I wanted to encourage my class mates about the upcoming holiday and thought this would be the best place to write it all down.

You are welcome to "listen in"... or just wait and tune in when I have something else fascinating to say. :-)

Thoughts and ideas about how to get through the 4th without sabotaging your efforts:

1) Remember the reason for the holiday:
So many of us approach holidays and family gatherings as food-centered events. The average American gains 10-12 pounds from Thanksgiving to New Year's (and few take them back off the following year). So... if you think about it logically: simply because we appreciate the pilgrims, honor the birth of our Lord, and watch the calendar turn the page, we eat our way through 6-7 weeks? It really isn't a reason to eat. Nor is celebrating the freedom of our country. Focus on the people that you are gathered with, enjoy the company, and enjoy going home without feeling uncomfortably full.

2) Approach celebrations and parties with a plan:
Do you know what food will be there? Do you know which of those foods are your greatest temptations? Offer to bring some fruit so that you will have something to munch on instead of chips, as well as something you can snack on instead of cookies. Budget your calories to include your favorite foods. Maybe workout extra long in the morning so that you can have some potato salad.

3) Don't show up to a celebration starving:
Have a small snack of some nuts and/ or fruit, maybe some yogurt (something with protein) shortly before you go so that even the tablecloth doesn't look like a good snack!

4) Everything in moderation:
Anything at a picnic or celebration will fit into your calorie budget for the day -- if you stop with a few bites. Enjoy the bites that are truly worth it.

 “Everything is permissible”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”–but not everything is constructive." 1 Corinthians 10:23

5)Truly TASTE your food:
Is it worth the calories it will "cost" you on the budget? Or is it just forbidden fruit? It may not taste as good as you remember it. Taste test before you gobble!

And for "the day after..."
6) Don't step on the scale:
Even if you did all of these things -- you probably had more sodium than usual, and you'll be all prepared to pat yourself on the back... and be sorely disappointed. Or you didn't do any of these things and you want to know how badly to beat yourself up. No. Today's a new day, with the same calorie budget as yesterday. Slate is clean. Go.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22, 23

 7) Water is your friend:
Drink plenty of water (as you should be anyway). That will help flush out the sodium, any extra fluid you may have on board, and help get you back on track quickly. (I'm a HUGE fan of drinking LOTS of water -- all the time! It's basically my answer for everything!)

8) All is grace:
Remember to measure successes in a variety of ways, not just the numbers on the scale or the fit of your clothes. You have to have success with your relationship with food before you have permanent success on the scale. Were you able to stop at one dessert instead of needing 3? VICTORY! Did you only have a half-serving of Aunt Margie's potato salad (when you REEEEAAAALLLLY wanted to sit down with the whole bowl)?? SUCCESS!! Don't beat yourself up for the mountain that you have yet to climb. Turn around and enjoy the view behind you -- and realize that you have the power to PERMANENTLY leave it behind you.

And keep climbing! Just one baby step at a time!

Happy New Year!

Or, as Joshilyn called it, "Happy O CRAP I JUST WROTE 2008 ON MY CHECK Day"!

Well, again, life has changed my plans for me, and the blogging took a little hiatus (but if you would sign up to facebook or Twitter, you could have been RIGHT THERE with me through all the drama!) Thankfully, the drama wasn't huge or life-altering, but it was plan-changing, for sure.

Left to go to Louisiana on Saturday the 27th. Fairly uneventful, but Troy's stomach was a little unsettled. Truthfully, if both of us have gone 24 hours with a happy stomach in the last 5 years, I don't remember it, so neither of us thought much of it. Sunday we went to worship with the family, then lunch. Troy, even trying to not over-indulge, and stay away from sweets, still didn't feel well.

The cousins had a grand time playing together and took on a soccer game, headed up by my brother Kevin. My kids and I went to see my grandmother early Sunday evening and heard many more stories about her youth. The older I get, the more I love to hear those stories. My grandmother's hearing is all but totally gone, so conversations are very difficult, but her mind is AMAZING and she loves to tell the stories of 'those days'. I love to hear them, and the kids tolerated them. Riley, ever curious (told me in the car today: "Did you know that 1 in 2,000 babies are born with teeth and that the preying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head?" That is my life with him 24/7) returned to my parent's house and started major researching our family tree. "Who was Mamaw's mom? Did she have sisters? Who else am I related to?" Thank heaven for the internet! I've already done much of that research stuff at myheritage.com. Very interesting!

Monday we were lazy. I did a little workout, the kids did some more soccer and football and such. I think it was late Sunday night I got an email from my Abilene Families editor that if I had something to turn in, she could still take it (it was about 10 days post-deadline, so I figured I would just be left out this month). I went and did some writing at the local public library. All this while, Troy was still feeling not-too-great, leaning toward actually sick. He stuck to a baked potato for dinner Monday night, but continued feeling worse and worse. I did a little packing up -- we were supposed to come back to Abilene Tuesday morning, after all.

Tuesday morning we got up... to keep a long story from getting eternal, Troy said there was NO WAY he could travel 8 hours in the pain he was in. His stomach had graduated from "rolling" to just constant, excruciating pain. We ended up going to a minor emergency clinic where they were VERY nice to us and very kind and thorough, but didn't have the equipment to be sure what was wrong with Troy. They gave him a shot to manage the pain, then sent us to the ER. Oy. The ER.

They actually got us back in a room in less than an hour, so I thought they may have been okay. Listen up, folks, I am bordering on being an expert in emergent medical care. Those of you that think we have it bad in Abilene? Try getting sick in N. Louisiana. Yeeshk. I (guess) they know what they are doing, but here in Abilene -- I am a person caring for a sick person that I am with. The sick person I am with is treated with kindness and care, and I am respected and taken care of, as well. This time? I didn't exist unless I tripped someone going down the hall to say, "Excuse me, what exactly am I waiting FOR???" Troy wasn't a person to treat, he was a pain scale and a respiration rate to 'fix'. No one would acknowledge either of us upon entering the room, only tend to the numbers. I do take that back -- the dr. was okay, and one elderly guy, no idea what his 'ranking' was in the pecking order around there. He did Troy's EKG. I don't think Troy or I have ever had an EKG, and it was all I could do to not take a picture with my phone to post on the World Wide Web. I told my parents that it looked like they were trying to jump-start Troy. But the shots Troy had gotten were taking effect and he was barely conscious (that's why they were concerned with his respiration rate-- dropped a little low for a while) but that one guy told Troy everything he was doing and ended it with a 'Mistuh Troy' in a southern drawl. I doubt Troy remembers him at all, but of the 8-10 people we saw that day, he's basically the only one who acted as if either of us was a people.

Troy got sent home with the drugs starting to wear off, a Rx for some anti-cramping elixir, and a diagnosis of 'acute viral gastroenteritis and dehydration'. They gave him a bag of fluids in the ER, and told him to push the fluids that night, no solid foods, yada, yada. So instead of traveling back to Abilene we made it as far as the ER and back to my parent's house and my precious parents continued to sleep not in their own bed so Troy could be close to a bathroom if needed. We stayed one extra day for Troy to get caught up on fluids and calories. We came home today, 2 days late, but with Troy much better than 2 days ago. So very thankful.

Oddly enough (or not) I wrote the following on Monday for my looming deadline for the Valentine's Day issue of Abilene Families:

"Love is not a polished, glimmery state. Love is messy, inconvenient, and frustrating. Love is giving up the last ounce of energy, sleep, time, or chocolate for the well-being of another. Love isn’t found in romantic restaurants or destinations, but in hospital waiting rooms, the lobby of funeral homes, and kneeling in prayer next to race-car or princess beds in the middle of the night. Love is less about flowers and cartoon hearts, and everything about the value of another soul on this planet. I guess that’s a little harder to put on the side of a coffee mug."

I counted it my honor and privilege to be the caregiver of my hubs that day, and I am SO thankful we got sent home without surgery or major issues looming -- which were tossed out as possibilities. I'm thankful to be back at my house safely. I'm thankful for the family care we all received when we weren't at home.

So, plans got changed, all is well, and Troy and I are watching our Netflix 'Dreamgirls' to kick off 2009. And perhaps tomorrow I will think of where I would like to be by 2010. For right now, I am precisely where I want to be!

Happy New Year!

Injured... Injured Bad

Well, I am indeed injured, but it's not THAT bad -- and it certainly isn't in THAT way. Yes, that video is making a repeat appearance on my blog. It still makes me laugh out loud, and it closes with a key phrase: "injured bad". I'm injured!

You may recall that I was injured a few years ago (if you were reading then AND now, you deserve a medal) and really had no great story to go with it. Same thing. Out running, rolled my ankle (because I stepped on something -- I think a pecan), hit the deck, scraped my hands, knee, and elbow. I lay in the middle of the street rolling and crying and asking God how in heaven's name I was going to get home (I was less than a mile from home, but too far to crawl!!) Sweet Melinda (now I know) cruised by in her Escalade and drawled out the window, "Are you all right?" That precious Angel in the Escalade gave me a ride home where I cried some more and iced and propped and missed my daughter being high scorer in her Monday night basketball game.

Yesterday I got 'worked in' at the orthopedist's (which actually took less time than when I went last week and had an appointment set up for 5 weeks) and learned that I have a 'garden variety sprain'. So here's your lovely ginormous boot to wear until you can see me again right before Christmas.

So I'm literally limping along, cruising H-E-B in my scooter and bossing my family around. I'm thankful for the boot, I'm thankful my doctor knows I want this thing HEALED CORRECTLY 'cause I've got training to do (I'm training to turn 40). I'm thankful for my sweet family who is doing what they can to help out.

I do have quite a bit of hobbling to do this morning to get us off, but then I will go and prop my foot and do more bossing! May you have a glorious Thanksgiving and find many reasons to be thankful.