From the Archives: Friends In Unlikely Places

(I am taking a bit of a bloggy break this week. I am posting some of my all-time top 5 posts throughout this week. Enjoy)

Nine years ago, my home was flooded, I wasn't living in my house, I had a husband whose job required him to travel, two small children, we were being sued (I haven't told that captivating story on the blog), and I was keeping a baby 2-3 days a week. In short, I was a wreck.

I ran myself over to what would have been the closest gym if we lived in our house and signed up. I decided that I deserved just a little bit of me time and that was going to be it. I had no idea the significance that decision would play in the next 9 years of my life.

Soon I was attending classes there and met Laura, who had also recently joined that gym. Laura is a local preacher's wife who likes to not fit the preacher's wife mold. My earliest memory of her at the gym -- NO idea what we were discussing, but Laura laughed and said, "Honey, we've been married almost 15 years. If I shave my legs, that's foreplay." Yeah, I was going to like Laura.

I think Amy was there all along. Amy is a little more like me. Seemingly quiet... until she has an opinion. I know when the gym moved to "the new place" (where it's been for 7 years now) that Amy was there and that's when Amy and Laura and I all started going to some of the same classes regularly.

Before too long I got a job -- stinkin' income! -- and had to quit that regular class and sorely missed my friends. I would catch them on every other Friday, but it wasn't the same (of course). In time, I quit that job (theoretically to write, but we all know it was so I could work out with my friends! :-)

The class that we went to most often together was a weights class -- Body Pump if you know it. I'll be honest. We would talk all the way through it. Oh, we were working out (want to feel my biceps?) but we were catching up on life and diverting our attention from the pain in the mean time.

For the record -- we were frequently in trouble in class for our talking. We got talked to by the teacher -- and would stop talking for a while. Then the people on the other side of the class would start talking, inspiring us to continue our conversations. Until we got ugly looks from the front row. Or chewed out by the angry exerciser. And the cycle would start again. Truly, we had long conversations (at Starbucks -- not in class) about this.

Through class or at Starbucks we discussed it all, big and little. We talked our way through children's illnesses and surgeries, sports victories, defeats, and struggles, we've wrestled, prayed, and cried through two husband's unemployments, struggled over parenting decisions and children's heartbreaks, frequently coming to tears right there at the weight rack.

Muscles and bodies grew stronger, and so did the friendship. I honestly had NO IDEA how much those girls -- my "gym buddies" as they became known around my house -- meant to me. Until I needed someone to be strong. Or consistent. Or both. And they were.

(My two closest gym buddies, Amy, far left, and Laura, in yellow then me, and Rebekah our body pump instructor, far right, my last day at Body Pump the day I moved)

Friends When You Need Them

I am WAY overdue in telling you this story!

I told you MONTHS ago about some very close friendships I made in my former town -- when I signed up at they gym. I started telling you that because of something really cool that my gym buddies -- Amy and Laura -- did.

So... this was in July. It was hot. Stinkin' hot. Not that August or September has come to be any different. We were new in our town, hemorrhaging cash the way you do when you move, and it was too hot to do ANYTHING -- honestly too hot to go to the pool. So we sat in the little cave of our new house, watching the TV too loudly, or whatever. A little bit of a depressing existence.

I tried to at least keep the house picked up to help my mental state of being, but with two teenagers that didn't seem interested in picking up behind themselves (they have the classic philosophy about making their bed: "Why? You only get in it 12 hours later...") and a dog that was losing fistfuls of hair due to the summer heat, it was an uphill battle that my weary psyche rarely felt energized enough to fight.

So one Friday my kids are wandering around picking up. Weird? The man-child even swept up some. What in the world? I mean, they are washing dishes, putting things away, and "where does this box go?" "Why?" "Well... it's bugging me here..." "It's been sitting there all summer without bugging you. Why is it bugging you now?" Like... Twilight Zone kind of things.

So, we had our Friday night Domino's and were all settled in doing the boring things we do -- kids messing on computers, Troy and I watching some mindless TV, blah, blah. My cell phone rings. It's Amy. Not horribly odd. We've been texting all summer.

A: "So... what are you doing...?"

"Oh... the usual big Friday night... watching TV with the fam."

"Wanna go to Starbucks? You, me, Laura?"

Snort/ laugh..."Oh. Sure. That would be fun..."

"Well COME ON!! Your sprinklers are on or I would have knocked on your door! Let's go!!"

"WHAT???" So... yes... I throw open my front door. True, my sprinklers around my sidewalk were on. True, Amy and Laura were standing on the other side of them. True I ran THROUGH the sprinklers (soaking my rear) to go hug their beautiful necks. How fun are they?

Yes, my family had been in on this very fun surprise that my friends came to see me. Such a little/ huge thing. Oh, my stars -- to get two women out of town away from their families? Huge. And Amy's husband travels for his work. Turns out, she didn't see him before she left. He was driving in as they were driving out. That is a sacrifice!

So we went to Starbuck's. And caught up. And laughed and shook our head over some things. Like always.

They slept in one of the kids' rooms, we woke up the next morning and went for a walk. Like always.
It was hot -- like always.

Somewhere there was breakfast and showering, then we were OFF! None of us are much into shopping but there are some cute little (overpriced) shops in my town I haven't seen so we scoped those out -- for about 15 minutes. Then we hit the resale shops, which I have LOADS of and they are awesome!

We laughed and talked and scoped out cheap finds for ourselves and our kids. Above all... we just were. We were just there... next to each other. Which was SO much what my weary heart needed at that moment. To laugh over the hideous music at the teen resale shop and to shake our heads at the not-so-bargain hideous find at the more "grown up" resale shop.

Troy grilled us steaks and some chicken, baked us some potatoes for dinner, and eventually they had to leave. *sigh* But my heart was refreshed.

 You can't put into words or sentences what those kind of friends mean -- the ones who don't sit and wish that your heart was in a better place but will leap into action to make it so. I'm rarely that kind of friend to others, I openly admit. These beautiful ladies call me to do better and be better in so many ways.

Nine years ago I walked into a gym to get fit and lose a few inches. I gained two amazing friends and so many more rewards. Even from too many miles away, they're still my dear friends today. Like always.

Fitness Friday: To Join or Not?

Melissa asked last week: "ugh...I'm actually thinking about joining a gym (when a special price rate happens next week), but I'm so intimidated by a real gym. Any advice?"

Uh, yeah!

This is a great question because many of us feel that way. The short answer, like most of fitness and exercise, is: "It really depends on you."

Here's why I choose to pay for a gym:
Options: there are free weights, machines, classes I never intend to take (but still CAN if I ever get a wild hair) and classes I attend regularly. I use my gym for: spin (bike) class (RPM), yoga/pilates-type class (BodyFLOW), a weights class (BodyPUMP). That's it on a regular basis. HOWEVER, I use the treadmill when the weather's bad -- like Tuesday/ Wednesday's monsoon, when I'm feeling really ambitious, I use the weight machines, and there are 'experts' (no, not the guy who wants you to THINK he's an expert, the actual paid position-guy) to help me if I need it. All options!

Classes: I LOVE an exercise class and it isn't because I'm a social person by nature -- I'm really not. I'm classified as an 'introvert' and being around many people is just too much for me. But here's what I love about an exercise class: definite beginning time, definite end time. Exercise done. If I don't go to a class, I can potentially procrastinate until it's too late for me to fit it in. I really enjoy my exercise, but, I'm not COMPLETELY insane, I REALLY love when it's over! A class is a great way to have a set exercise time, or an exercise "appointment", if you will.

Peer pressure: This isn't what you're thinking. Many of you think, "I KNOW! The pressure! Just what I don't want in a gym!" I'm talking about being around a group of people that have the same goals in life as you do, including your health (not at the exclusion of everything else). This study showed that obesity can be "contagious" -- friends tend to pack on weight when their friends (and sometimes long-distance siblings) do (please do not think or report that Sarah is saying there is an obesity virus -- please read the study). We could argue that all day long, but let's imagine the reverse to be true: as you spend time around people committed to 'bettering' (is that a word?) their own health, you will begin to notice little changes you can do to become more healthy. Sure, like anything else, it can lead to 'over-indulging' in exercise/ body focus. All things in moderation, but I consider my gym to be (mostly) positive peer pressure.

As far as intimidation -- I guess I would need to know what, specifically, intimidates you.

Do you assume everyone knows what to do on every machine? They don't, and quality gyms will not only give you an orientation, but have someone on the floor at all times (this is where my gym falls short) who can train and/or answer your questions as you go along. Don't be afraid to ask -- it's like everything else: EVERYONE was a novice at one time.

Are you afraid that everyone in there is a 'hard body' and you will be ultra-frumpy in comparison? Well, news flash, I go to a gym. 'Nuff said. It's a little slice of Americana, with folks of all shapes and sizes with all different goals.

I will say this -- most gyms have different 'personalities' throughout the day. My gym (and I would bet most) goes like this: EARLY a.m. -- say, 5-7 or 8 a.m. -- are working folks trying to squeeze in a workout before the day gets nuts. the 'crowd' is in shape, not afraid to sweat, but probably have had a chocolate chip cookie in the last month. There are a few 'hard core', but not the typical gym-goer at this hour. Regular morning hours -- about 8-10 a.m., are mostly moms, a few retirees, and other folks who want to get in a workout and go on with their day. Again -- most are folks committed to exercise, but have a life, as well. The rest of the day -- I can't speak to very much, because those are my hours. But when I've had a chance to go later than 10 a.m. -- lunch hour can get crowded, still with working folks just trying to fight the bulge, but during the school and work day you could have the run of the gym.

After school and work, the show goes on. My gym can get ULTRA crowded at this time: every cardio machine, every spot in a class, all used! Still working people, seem to be LOUD and whacky (de-stressing after the day, I guess). This is also where you will find folks that can spend all day working, then all evening in a gym, i.e., the gym IS their life, social and otherwise. And, as Hess told Judy at one point, "Don't worry about them: they're too busy looking at themselves to notice you." And that is the absolute truth.

Any gym will have a trial period for you. Check it out. See what you like and don't like about it. If you will make it worth your money, absolutely sign up. It's cheaper than therapy, and it's a quality investment in your health!

Observation

Earlier this week in my bicycle class at the gym, my bicycle made a squeaking noise exactly like Stickers' exercise wheel. The correlation was not lost on me.