I caved. I gave in. I broke.
I just broke a 20 day streak without Diet Coke at lunch today.
Please don't feel obligated to tell me all the ways Diet Coke is horrible for me to try to encourage me to break my habit. I know.
|By Evan-Amos (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons|
(Yes, caffeine is used to treat migraines. Different story. I am happy to discuss what I know about migraines with you if you are interested. Email me.)
Made it all the way until June, too. Don't know why I took a sip or two of Satan's milk. But I did. And there you go. I was a goner. That six month stretch is the longest I've had since (but that also is when Troy lost his job, so trying to give up my serious addiction in the face of unemployment, then long-distance marriage/ single-motherhood/ house for sale, then move/ relocating teenagers.
January is when I tried (AGAIN) to really get off of it for good. I went a little too cold turkey on a rainy, hormonal week and kept a migraine for about 5 days, but I was NOT turning back at that point.
Last year, one (of my four) words for the year was "gentleness." This struggle has given me gentleness with those struggling with real addictions. If I can't lay down my bubbly goodness for more than 20 days, then I am sure not going to throw stones at people trying to walk away from tobacco, alcohol, a prescription they've found they rely on, or anything like that.
The Lord is also leading me to see that, though I am a healthy eater, I (still) have some food addictions I'm not quite ready to give up. Foods that I know aren't the best fuel for my workouts or body, but I just flat don't want to walk away from. I believe with all my heart (when it comes to types of food) that “ 'Everything is permissible'–but not everything is beneficial." (1 Cor. 10:23). And as I try to do what is most beneficial for me in my food choices, I find that I am very, very weak.
A friend urged me to claim 2 Corinthians 12: 9, 10 for this year:
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:9,10
Um... that's not very fun. But oh, so true. And I have seen the many many ways God will work if I will remember that He is strong in my weakness.
This sounds pretty heavy for one cup of Diet Coke, huh?
So... I'm taking suggestions on how to completely walk away from this habit. Starting over...NOW. I'm considering paying myself $1 or $2 (the cost of one out) when I am super tempted. When I break 20 days again, I'll either treat myself to something fun or keep saving up for something big.
I think I used to be more strong-willed than this and just got tired. What about you? Strong willed? Habit you're trying to break? Want an accountability partner? I'm in!