Wednesday, March 29

Today has been a day of blessings for me. Most days are, quite honestly, and I miss it. So I'm thankful for the opportunity to pause and remind myself of them. Today I am copyrighted!! I don't know if that's actually true, but I have an article published at http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200503/20050330_batterup.html I am so thankful! The best part about it is the people that have made comments to me from around the world: Danny from Singapore, Becky from Celina, TX, Sharon from Alabama, and Vicki from North Carolina have all touched me and blessed me in ways they will never know. How fabulous is that? I have no idea what the sign on their church says where they go to worship and I have no idea the color of their skin, but they are each my brother or sister in Christ. Isn't family in Christ so wonderful? I have always prayed to bless others with the words I write or speak, (1 Peter 4:10, 11 -- YIKES) but I have been blessed ten-fold by the people that have responded to me. My blessings abound and I currently am listening to my children shout and squeal while playing in the hose -- it's almost 80* and it's supposed to be 38* in the morning. I need a scientist and/ or pediatrician to tell me why playing with water always involves shouting -- it's just never a quiet activity. But that reminds me of another host of blessings that I have in precious, healthy children. I have no time to list them here, but I will 'count my blessings one by one' while I fold clothes!

Blah, blah, blog

Okay, I'm seein' all these other blogs blow me away. I originally started my blog as a place to post my 'polished' writing (if that is not your opinion of the previous posts, please keep it to yourself!) but have recently seen how much fun a thread of someone's thoughts may be. I will TRY to keep up with 'News of the Stirmans' here, but the main news (for me, anyway) is that I am currently working full time until April 20th. Which means that I have exactly 5 minutes of 'blog post time' before I have to do the before bed, hour-long sprint of making lunches, picking out clothes, packing backpacks, signing folders, and gathering laundry so that I may go to bed early so that I may rise early -- neither healthy, wealthy, nor wise, but exhausted and stressed out at the prospect of doing the same thing all over again. Oh, and somewhere in there I have to see who gets disqualified from "The Amazing Race". And in the 3 minutes since I have been typing, Ashley has been giving a running narration while packing her lunch of exactly how many items in the refrigerator are furry and how we have no fruit to speak of. If you are a full-time working mother -- my hat's off to you and you can try twelve ways to explain to me how you do it, I will still never know.
Well, there it is -- my 5 minutes is up! Maybe in my tomorrow's 5 minutes I can tell you about Riley's baseball or latest quip, or Ashley's Bible bowl or basketball. Until next time, be blessed.

Only someone this cute in a baseball uniform could get me to watch a game! 

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

I hate baseball. There you have it. Just as my delay in seeing "The Passion of the Christ" calls my citizenship in heaven into question, I feel certain that my loathing of America’s past-time also calls my United States citizenship into question. But there it is – I hate baseball. So God, having the fabulous sense of humor I feel any loving Creator should have, sent me a son. A son who, in his 7th year, wants to play baseball more than anything. Soccer? Nope. Basketball? Nothin’ doin’. Baseball? Sign him up!
Sign him up we did. Now we’ve invested in cleats, hats, socks, belts, and numerous other items that seem to be essential for playing a game of baseball. Now I spend my evenings sitting in the not-yet-warm West Texas wind watching small children learn to "throw a string, not a rainbow". I figure in a one hour Little League game (and I think I’m being optimistic to assume it will only last an hour) the ball in motion and all subsequent action will total approximately 12 minutes of that game. My son’s part in the action may total about 4 minutes. Again, I believe myself to be an optimist.
I admit that my disdain has had to give way to minor dislike as I watch the enthusiasm that my son has for the sport. Minutes waiting for practice to begin (PRACTICE, mind you – we haven’t even had a game yet!) are painstaking agony. Minutes at practice fly by all too quickly. The little leaguer gushes with knowledge and excitement after each practice. Finally, last night I admit my heart thawed totally toward the sport. I commented, in all honesty, "Well, I’m really glad that you seem to like it." His response was nothing less than incredulous: "Like it?!?! Are you kidding?!?! It’s the best thing that ever happened to me!!!" Now, keep in mind that my son’s life is not necessarily fraught with hardship unless you count unloading the dishwasher and feeding the dog difficult manual labor. But if baseball is the best thing that ever happened to him, then buy me some peanuts and CrackerJacks, I don’t care if I never get back from the old ball game!
I have laughed to myself at how little it took to change my view of the game – simply the fact that it is the delight of one of the loves of my life. I believe that those of us blessed to be parents are given that task in order to get a tiny glimpse into God’s love for us. Lately I have been perplexed by the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) What if the desire of my heart involves 6-pack abs and single digit clothing sizes? I have no hard and fast answers (nor hard abs) but I do know that this spring West Texas day was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And I do believe that it tickled God to no end for me to tell Him so. I also believe that as I continue to pour out my heart to God and know Him as the loving parent He is, the desires of my heart will more closely match His. Without a doubt, HE is the best thing that ever happened to me!
Batter up!

Bunco Night

I have a confession -- I make my entire family re-arrange their lives so that I can go to Bunco night, and I frequently dread going. I don't dis-like being there, but I dis-like turning over the supervision of dinner and clean-up, packing of lunches, baths that don't get taken when I'm not home to go have my 'lady time'. It rarely fails, however, that something at Bunco will make me laugh until I cry, then laugh again as I lay in bed trying to be quiet and let Troy sleep. Last night at Bunco I did just that. It was sorely needed! And, just for the record, there is a singing group entitled, "HoneyCrack". It's a group of gentlemen, and Troy questions their sexual orientation (which, actually, would explain a lot!) but their mere existence cracks me up!

A Mother Asks 'Why'

• Why is it my fault the Sonic coupons are missing?
• Why do I allow myself to feel guilty that my children are being deprived of more sugar and fat for the day?
• Why do they have to put their fingers on the computer screen to play on it? Are they aware that we do not have an interactive screen?
• Why must any venture outside include a tromp through the mud and a collection of grass clippings?
• Why (and since when) are all of my belongings community property? Will I ever get any of them back in the same condition that I last saw them?
• Why do small people who make me this insane also make me weak-kneed, goofy, in love with them?

The Father of Lies

John 8:44
"When (the devil) lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
He’s called the father of lies by the Son of the Most Holy. Lies are his entire modus operandi, his very native language. Why, then, do I even listen? Why do I give any weight at all to the constant barrage of lies Satan sends my way? Perhaps that’s part of it – there’s no end to the lies. Too often, Satan knows our insecurities, our weaknesses even better than we know ourselves.
"Your husband can’t possibly really love you – not when you look like you do (or keep house like you do, or cook like you do)." "You’re a horrible parent – your poor children don’t stand a chance coming from your household." "No way. The sins of your past are too awful, too horrible. What if everyone knew? God can never forgive you completely. You’re basically useless to His kingdom."
The lies start so small and innocuous, like a minor but constant drip. They come at me most often when my life is good; at times when I don’t feel the urgent need to cling to God for every breath as I do in times of crisis. I am not as well-armed to fend off the attack. As I absorb each lie, they continue to spiral and snowball until I am completely bowed down. I’m a weary soldier, marching to the cadence of an evil leader, a slave to the father of lies. It is then that I BECOME useless to the kingdom of heaven! Ooooh, isn’t Satan sneaky that way?
How can I possibly break free? How do I get out of this trap? That’s the glorious part! It’s as close as my Bible, and takes as long as it takes my knees to hit the floor! When I turn my face to Him, to know His glory, I know without a doubt I am loved completely by Him. I can claim the lies as the lies they are. In John 8:32, Jesus tells his disciples, "The truth will set you free." The good news continues in verse 36, "If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Hallelujah, and may I be free indeed!
David understood how the whole process works when he writes in Psalm 26:2 &3: "Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth." David knew the freedom from sin that comes with walking in truth. He was also fully aware of how that can be accomplished. Walking continually in the truth. Satan is too consistent in his attacks for me not to be consistent in my defense against the attacks.
To me, the best news of all of this is found in James 4: 7 and 8. Not only do we learn that we, as heirs of the Father, have power over Satan ourselves, we learn the Creator of all of the universe will come to our aide and be by our side. The lies of the father of lies begin to lose their power as I turn to His glory.
James 4:7,8:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God, and He will come near to you."

Medals of Martyrdom

The political climate recently has been talking about medals earned in combat and whether they were deserved or not and who exactly decided a medal should be awarded. It has given me opportunity to stop and think about the medals that I award myself.
Almost three years ago our family moved to a new town. Six months later, our house flooded. Shortly after that, we were sued. Shortly after that, we learned my husband’s mother was terminally ill. Shortly after that – well, you get the idea. Let me just say that it has been almost five months since our last major crisis. I have learned not to breathe a sigh of relief, but to run for cover. I was never promised this life would be easy. Why, then, must I share my "medal of honor" for suffering and grief with all around me. I have learned that I want to award myself a "medal of martyrdom" to show people how strong I was while I was suffering and going through trials. The trials, large and small, begin to pile up like trash on your front porch. If you refuse to let them go, forgiving when necessary, grieving when necessary, then your porch will end up REALLY trashy.
Sometimes it’s difficult to let go of the bitterness of hardships and not want to show the world your trash, your battle scars. I find that frequently I want to wear my trials on my sleeve like a medal that shows what all I have survived. I am missing the blessings of my trials – the lessons I have learned about God’s faithfulness, the fellow warriors that God has sent me to pray me through, my children seeing their parents cry out to God on a regular basis –when I only want to tell people about how painful they were.
I also have learned that ‘forgiving and forgetting’ is a myth created by the world. Forgiveness isn’t. Absolutely not. Forgiveness of others is a natural by-product of loving them as God loves them and knowing how much God has forgiven me. But forgetting – doesn’t happen. God blesses us with those memories, but to use for His glory. Those memories, which can sometimes be painful enough to give you opportunity to forgive all over again, can be used to minister to others. That’s where I want to keep my ‘survivor medals’ – tucked away to be used as ministry opportunities arise.
As I find myself awarding myself those "medals of martyrdom" I am reminded again to clear the trash off my porch. God can do it. Sometimes it takes frequent prayers to forgive and love as He loves. But God will be faithful, as always, and we won’t have to rely on our self-awarded medals. We can wait for the crown He will award.
1 Peter 4:12-15,19
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. . . .So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."

Aroma of Christ

When was the last time you were sniffed? By a human? Up until about a month ago, the answer for me would have had to have been never. But life brings new experiences daily and this particular day did not disappoint. Leaving a summer job of teaching swimming lessons with my two children, my errand list necessitated that we stop at a discount store that will remain nameless, but one that I loathe entering. One of my stops in the monstrosity of discount was the shoe department, where a very helpful lady helped me locate swim shoes so that I wouldn’t tear up my feet teaching swimming lessons. She very kindly led me to the swim shoes, showed me my selection, then turned to me and sniffed. Yes, she sniffed me. Two quick, polite whiffs. Her comment was, "Have you been at the pool?" Now, how do you answer that? And if she works in the shoe department, shouldn’t she be thankful to be smelling sunscreen and chlorine instead of feet?
2 Corinthians tells us that we are continually ‘sniffed’ in this world: "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life." Me? The aroma of Christ? In my heart, I’m far more likely to be the aroma of sunscreen and chlorine, dinner cooking, or dirty laundry. But as I toss aside all of those things and make my way to the foot of the throne, I am less and He is more. My earthly aroma of selfishness, pride, and impatience is taken away as I let Him replace it with the sweet fragrance of Christ’s love.
The difficult task is to continually return to the throne. To be the aroma of Christ without daily (sometimes hourly) trips before His throne would work as well as being the aroma of clean without a daily shower.
My constant prayer is that I look less like me and more like Him. So, I suppose now I shall also pray to smell more like Him, too. After all, I would love for someone to sniff me and ask, "Have you been at His throne?"

What I Know About Migraine

Because my experience with migraine has led me to become somewhat of an expert on my own migraines, I wanted to share what I know here. Obviously, this is not medical advice, but I will tell you that I had to learn far more on my own than my doctor has been able to tell me. More than anything, if you are a migraine sufferer, I encourage you to do your own homework and research and discover your own solutions, rather than assume that a health care professional will do it for you. 

Most of the information that worked FOR ME I got from this book:

Author Bucholz has, just as the title suggests, a 3-step program to virtually eliminating migraines. I am writing this only two weeks past my last migraine, but I am confident I am on the right track. You can find MANY books out there on migraines -- I bought another while I was at it -- and you will probably get conflicting advice. This one worked for me and made logical sense to me.

Step 1: Eliminate Quick Fixes.

This means (to me, especially) wean yourself off of all caffeine and all (can you believe it) prescription migraine pills. Did you know that prescription migraine pills have a rebounding effect, and can cause migraines? Lovely. I didn't know, and my doctor didn't tell me (he may not know, for that matter...). We all know that caffeine does that which is why we get headaches when we go too long without, etc. To eliminate caffeine headaches, Bucholz says it's okay to 'wean', but make it quick, 'lest you spend your life in a 'really, I'm drinking less today than yesterday, so I'm weaning' pattern. He says make it where you are completely off  caffeine in 10 days or less. Also, he says take no more than two prescription migraine pills a month (I was taking 12-15) to avoid rebounding. For all other headaches, use ibuprofen or acetaminophen (there is much about acetaminophen being VERY hard on the liver, and as much as I need, I try to stick with ibuprofen) and use an ice pack on your head. 

This is a ROUGH two-week de-tox (longer for some folks), but well worth it.

Step 2: Eliminate Potential Food Triggers

Bucholz has a list of common food triggers and says you should get off of ALL of them and here's why (even if you don't think they are a trigger):

There are so many triggers that we can't avoid (weather changes, hormones, environmental factors, stress, etc.) that we should take extra precaution to know and avoid the triggers that we CAN avoid. Also, many people are unaware that a food is a trigger because for instance, let's say that a storm is coming in (classic migraine trigger), hormones are raging (classic migraine trigger), and you had a horribly stressful day at work (classic migraine trigger). You get home from work without a migraine and eat a slab of chocolate (classic migraine trigger). The chocolate is the 'straw that broke the camel's back' and sends you to bed for the night with a migraine. Three days later, when the storm has passed, hormones have leveled off, and it's your day off, you finish off the chocolate and... nothing. So, you think, "Whew! So glad chocolate isn't a trigger!" 

So, Bucholz says to get off of all of these and stay off. He said for 4 months. I confess I started 'cheating' after about 2 weeks, thinking, "I really miss this, and I really don't think THIS is one of MY triggers." Guess what? Found a trigger! Almonds! 

Without any further ado, la list (in order of how frequently they are a trigger for people according to Bucholz): (a copy of the list)

• caffeine (he includes decaffeinated drinks due to the chemicals used to take the caffeine out as well as the amount of caffeine left in)
• chocolate
• Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) -- no bacon, sausage, and few prepared meats
• processed meats and fish
• cheese and other dairy, including yogurt and sour cream
• Nuts and nut butters
• Alcohol and vinegar, especially red wine, even condiments made with vinegar (ketchup)
• a vague array of fruits and juices (mentioning citrus)
• a vague array of vegetables
• fresh bread (less than one day old)
• Aspartame/ Nutrasweet
• anything that YOU find that gives you a headache

Some things about this: he recommends to go off of ALL of these things, then slowly add back in only the things you actually miss (he says things you don't miss aren't really worth it, which is why I still haven't had yogurt!) HOWEVER, his one caveat: he says that caffeine is simply too much trouble, and anyone that suffers from migraine should get off of it, stay off of it, and never re-introduce it. You know, I don't miss the feel -- I especially don't miss feeling crummy later in the day. I miss the taste. Oh, heavenly days, I miss the taste. Seriously, licking my lips as I type. It helps that my preventative that I take has changed the way Diet Coke tastes, so even if I were to drink one, it isn't my old friend Diet Coke. But, oh, I miss it so....

I have been off of caffeine about 6 weeks. I can honestly say that I can go without it for the rest of my life, but I don't know if I can go the rest of my life only drinking water, which is pretty much all that is available to me currently (once you eliminate high calorie, Aspartame, and caffeine). It's pretty boring.

Oh, one more: he also says that pizza, due to being yeasty, full of cheese and if it has meat on it, MSG, can be one of the worst things for a migraine sufferer. It doesn't seem to bother me. FYI. Whew...

Step 3: Raise your Threshold.

This means, basically, go to your doctor and get on a preventative. Which, to be honest, I did first, and would highly recommend doing BEFORE you go through all of the detoxing, what-have-you because it can also reduce the severity of migraine symptoms. However, like any other medication, these are not without side effects. Mine has been a God-send, but I can't rely on it as the be-all, end-all savior to end my migraines. Also, I am on one that my doctor said, "Start at this dosage, and go up dosage every week until migraines are almost eliminated." Well, by the time migraines were almost eliminated, I felt HORRIBLE 24/7. Vague headache, no energy, just terrible. I felt so bad, it took me two weeks to realize this: "At the lower dosage, I did have 3 migraines in a week, but I actually felt good for the other 4 days!" I went to the lower dosage, and have now had 1 migraine in the last two weeks. A HUGE victory for me.

My doctor wants me at the higher dosage -- I don't know why -- but I'm perfectly happy here. Truthfully, I will stay here a few months and maybe see if I can get off of this and control migraine by diet.

So. My migraine life. Happy to share what I know. There are many alternatives that I wish I could afford to try -- accupuncture, for example -- but for now simply eliminating certain foods and being good to myself seem to be working. 

I'll be happy to answer any of your questions -- it would work best if you would leave me your email address -- but keep in mind I am NOT a medical professional, and I would encourage you to keep doing your own research with a medical professional.